Career counsel for teens when interests don't match aptitude - looking for BTDT advice

[SebastianCat]

I'm looking for some advice on guiding teens through the process of choosing a college major and potential career, especially if the career that interests them seems to be different from their giftings and aptitude, without being too specific with details of the situation I'm a part of.    

If your older teen had a strong interest in pursuing a career that you didn't see being a good fit for them, how would you handle it?   This is a good career path with decent job opportunities, but you as their parent just didn't see the aptitude for this particular career.   Do you encourage them to follow their interests?   Try to encourage them in another direction that seems to fit their giftedness?   Will they eventually figure this out on their own (possibly after failing to complete their first chosen path)?   

As an example, I'm thinking along the lines of someone who wants to major in journalism but hates to write, or to become a teacher but is extremely introverted and doesn't like being around people all day long, or to major in engineering but struggles in math.  You as the parent just can't really picture the chosen path being a good fit for this kid.

I'm struggling with knowing how much to give advice, how much to encourage them to follow their dreams, how much to back off, and how to allow them to own their decisions.  

[freesia]

It will probably sort itself out. I would want my child to have some experience interning in a law office before getting an expensive grad degree I wasn't sure suited them, but for a regular BA I'd just let them figure it out. I might ask what appeals to them about the career. People can surprise us all the time. My dh had an interesting journey to being a pastor but it was good and varied and helped him know himself better. 

[Lori D.]

I'd advise that together, your student and you dig deeply into understanding what the actual day-to-day job is like, what education/training it will take to get the job, and to have the student "shadow" someone in that job, or even see if the student can do a summer internship or volunteering at that job. All of that would likely help the student get a much clearer picture of "what it will take" to get the job, and what the job is really like.

That will also open the doors for you and the student to discuss what credits the student would want to accomplish in high school to be more prepared to go into that major in college -- esp. if it is a medical or STEM field, or a performance-based Fine Arts field. That also opens the door to getting involved in some extracurriculars now that could help prepare for whatever that job is -- like, Speech & Debate and Mock Trial if interested in Law. Or creating a blog and writing regular blog articles if wanting to be a journalist. Or getting involved in a teen band if interested in going into music. Or...

The Bureau of Labor's Occupational Outlook Handbook might be a good starting point for looking into the job -- what the job entails, how much it pays, what education/training is required, what the future outlook for the job is (i.e. -- is it a growing or declining field), etc. Also, the CA Career Zone and NY Career Zone websites have similar info, plus many have short videos interviewing people in those jobs or showing those jobs in action. The CA Career Zone also has an interest profiler that your student may enjoy taking, that would then provide the 3-letter "Holland Code" of top interests that would provide a list of jobs that your student might also be interested in. (And here's the NY Career Zone's page for inputting your 3-letter "Holland Code" of top interests.)

Once last thought: Teens change their minds a LOT. College students, too -- in fact, the majority of COLLEGE students *radically* change their degree field at least once partway through college. So I wouldn't worry too much at this stage -- after researching the job, your student may change his/her mind. Or, may get more determined about the field and have a realistic idea of what it will take to get to that job -- which could mean more willingness to work harder in high school and for you in homeschooling. : )

BEST of luck as you and your student continue to do some career exploration! Warmest regards, Lori D.

[freesia]

2 minutes ago, Lori D. said:

I'd advise that together you dig deeply into understanding what the actual day-to-day job is like, what education/training it will take to get the job, and to have the student "shadow" someone in that job, or even see if the student can do a summer internship or volunteering at that job. All of that would likely help the student get a much clearer picture of "what it will take" to get the job, and what the job is really like. That will also open the doors for you and the student to discuss what credits the student would want to accomplish in high school to be more prepared to go into that major in college -- esp. if it is a medical or STEM field, or a performance-based Fine Arts field.

The Bureau of Labor's Occupational Outlook Handbook might be a good starting point for looking into the job -- what the job entails, how much it pays, what education/training is required, what the future outlook for the job is (i.e. -- is it a growing or declining field), etc. Also, the CA Career Zone and NY Career Zone websites have similar info, plus many have short videos interviewing people in those jobs or showing those jobs in action. The CA Career Zone also has an interest profiler that your student may enjoy taking, that would then provide the 3-letter "Holland Code" of top interests that would provide a list of jobs that your student might also be interested in. (And here's the NY Career Zone's page for inputting your 3-letter "Holland Code" of top interests.)

Once last thought: Teens change their minds a LOT. College students, too -- in fact, the majority of COLLEGE students *radically* change their degree field at least once partway through college. So I wouldn't worry too much at this stage -- after researching the job, your student may change his/her mind. Or, may get more determined about the field and have a realistic idea of what it will take to get to that job -- which could mean more willingness to work harder in high school and for you in homeschooling. : )

BEST of luck as you and your student continue to do some career exploration! Warmest regards, Lori D.

re: The bolded. Yes!  I wanted to be a nurse in eleventh grade, a CIA agent in 12th grade and ended up an elementary school teacher (grades 1 and 2).

Dh wanted to be an engineer, then he got a psychology degree instead, then he taught English overseas, then math stateside, then worked for a non-profit dealing with hunger issues and ended up a pastor.

My brother majored in English AND applied mathematics and ended up a lawyer.

My other brother started out poly sci and ended up an engineer.

You just can't predict on the cusp of college what will actually happen.

[Lori D.]

PS -- I will also give you an example of how your kids can surprise you, even when you think you know them well.

DS#2 whined and griped all the time with all of the camping and hiking we did as a family when he was growing up. He also HATED all forms of hard physical labor, esp. weeding or coating the roof (which we all doing together as a family, so not putting any great demand on him individually). By his own choice and interest, at age 22, DS joined a VOLUNTEER trail conservation group which did hard physical labor to restore old trails or create new ones, plus they did invasive species removal -- i.e., a very strenuous and intensive form of weeding out in the wilderness. LOL (:D

From there, he has gone on to forge a path in wildland firefighting, and is out on his second season of that. They work 14-day tours, anywhere from 10-15 hour days, all hard physical labor. And he's loving it. Who knew that's what he would go into and enjoy. ; )

[Lori D.]

14 minutes ago, freesia said:

re: The bolded. Yes!  I wanted to be a nurse in eleventh grade, a CIA agent in 12th grade and ended up an elementary school teacher (grades 1 and 2).

Dh wanted to be an engineer, then he got a psychology degree instead, then he taught English overseas, then math stateside, then worked for a non-profit dealing with hunger issues and ended up a pastor.

My brother majored in English AND applied mathematics and ended up a lawyer.

My other brother started out poly sci and ended up an engineer.

You just can't predict on the cusp of college what will actually happen.

Absolutely!

I changed my major 3 times in college -- Business, to English, to Video/Film Production & Analysis/Appreciation. My jobs have included working in film & video, to running my own home-based graphic design company (self-taught), to homeschooling, to now teaching homeschool co-op classes. DH was working on a Creative Writing degree with a Philosophy minor, ended up with an almost 3-decade career with the local Fire Dept. as a paramedic and then an engine captain as his paying job.

[MerryAtHope]

We did lots of exploring as Lori said, and I also asked questions. "That's really interesting that you want to go into _____. What do you think about having to do _____ for that kind of job?"

My oldest hated writing for years but something clicked after that first year in college & now he "doesn't mind it." So, yeah, sometimes they surprise you! 

[8filltheheart]

Summer themed camps can help teens clarify pursuits.  Our oldest Dd was convinced she wanted to go into forensic science. I didn't see it as a good fit at all. I searched for a summer camp that focused on forensic chemistry. She came home detesting it and completely shifted gears.  My current high schooler is interested in programming.  She will be going to a computer programming camp this summer. (It seems like a good fit for her personality, so I am really hoping she comes home happy with the idea of pursuing it. ? )

sometimes what they perceive is being done is a field is completely different than the reality. Job shadowing is another way to help them see "behind the scenes" and get a sense for whether or not they want to actively pursue a certain career path.

[HollyDay]

Prerequisite classes should sort it out for you.  All community colleges and 4 year colleges require a core and electives.  These classes should transfer to other institutions so they would not be "extra" or "wasted"  (I say wasted because our state has a cap on how many credits you can take).  By taking these required credits, your teen should get a good handle on the lay of the land.  By chosing electives in the interested field, they can also get a good idea what is coming in higher classes.  Dd changed her direction after taking some electives.  The electives also gave her an opportunity to talk with professors and students further along than her.  She was able to redirect her focus without burning through too many credits

[lewelma]

I am currently tutoring a student who is 17.  I started with her at 14 when she had just finished MUS delta (4th grade).  She was struggling with any word problems at all, so I put her back in the Alpha book (1st grade) and had her do every single word problem in books alpha through delta (1st-4th grade).  After that, she still couldn't get them.  So I had her do them all AGAIN.  She thought she wanted to be a hair dresser so my goal was really just basic life skills.  At age 15 after taking a hair dressing course, she decided she didn't want to be a hair dresser after all, and instead wanted to be a data scientist!  I was like ?. But we just kept going on the math.  Her mom held her back a year, and she has now finished 10th grade integrated math at age 17.  Yes, that is right.  From MUS 1st/4th grade to completing Algebra/Geometry/Statistics in 3 years.  Two years after the data scientist comment, her math is strong and she is really enjoyign it.  Her mom was a nanny without ANY math skill at all (like no fractions, decimals, etc) and her dad is a CFO, so somehow she got a little bit of both of these parents' genes --  her mom's math skills until she was about 15.5 and now her dad's math skills as an older teen.   I've seen this before.  I think it is very hard to predict where an older teen can get to based on earlier skill.

[Bootsie]

For the most part, I would let the student sort this out as he spends more time looking at options.  I might start asking questions to get the student to explore what it is that really interests him.  "What about journalism interests you? What can you see yourself doing day-to-day?"  I would also be careful about making judgments about what will be a good fit; for example, I know many introverts who are teachers; they would not enjoy being in situations day-in and day-out where they had to make small talk with people their same age, but find the classroom situation a very different type of interaction.

[SebastianCat]

Thank you all for the responses.   You all are, as usual, a wealth of information and wisdom!