A funny "millennial" story

[Home'scool]

My oldest daughter graduated college 2 years ago with a degree in Biology. She got a job about 4 months after graduating.

One day I'm in work (at my full-time job .... at 52 years old ..... after working all my life) and I get a text from her that says "I'm thinking about quitting my job and bar tending or something like that. Enough of this full-time bulls**t! I want more time to travel and do stuff!" 

I literally was laughing so hard I was crying. After 18 months she had enough of working full-time! It was cutting into her life, ya know!

To her credit, she changed jobs, got a 6 month contract with a company doing neurodegenerative disease research (no bar tending) and was planning on working and saving for those 6 months and then travelling for a few months before coming back and working again. Plans have changed again and the new company is offering her a great full-time position that I believe she will take. It's too good of an opportunity to pass up.

I just know when I was growing up it was: go to college.....graduate in 4 years .... get a job .... get married ..... have kids.

Today's generation is doing things so differently. They are marrying later, or not at all, traveling more, not settling down so fast. I think it's a great mindset and, as long as they can support themselves in their plans, then I am all for it. 

My youngest has just started her full time job after graduating last month. I am waiting for her realization that working full-time really cramps your style!

 

 

 

 

[regentrude]

Sounds perfect. If one waits too long, the time to travel may never come. I am very grateful that I used my youth to travel a lot, do grad school, spend two years abroad - before having kids.

I wish my DD had gotten a chance to take a travel break after college; she starts her job two days after graduation.

[Pawz4me]

DS22 is in Europe now, his graduation gift to himself before he starts his career in August.

I remember a couple of funnies from this past year -- Our niece, who graduated last year from the same university DS22 just graduated from, told him over his Christmas break that "Working sucks!" Also, her parents had taken her out to eat one night. Her car wasn't running quite right, so my brother (a mechanical engineer) told her he'd drive her car to figure out what was going on with it and that he'd fill up her gas tank. She thanked him profusely, saying "Do you know how long I have to work to earn enough to fill up my car?" As if he hadn't been working for the past 35 years and paying attention to how much things cost. 

[SKL]

LOL ... sounds like my niece who wanted to quit because her bosses had a meeting without including her.  I think she had been there like 2 months.  I don't think she actually quit though.  Not sure.

I remember the first time I realized that I would never again have a "summer vacation."  I mean trading in 3 months for 1 week or a few long weekends just isn't right!

I did do a lot of traveling while a full-time worker - after I paid off my student loans.  Helps to have the money for the airfare.  ?

[Ravin]

I refuse to believe it's ever too late. DH is doing a summer abroad program to Cambridge this summer. It will be his first chance to travel abroad, aside from a few trips to Mexico back before kids and recession and all.

I still want to join the Peace Corps. I am just waiting for DS to turn 18!

However, striking that balance between making the money to do what you want, and having the time, is a particular challenge for millenials. My stepson has mastered it: he has several contract jobs he is able to line up, traveling in between them, and even some of the jobs have him traveling, though not necessarily to where he might go otherwise. Fire crew cook in Montana one month, fine dining in New York the next!

[SKL]

Not sure this is a millennial thing though.  My SIL used to say stuff like that when she went from being a SAHM to being a WOHM.  (My brother was a SAHD / student for that time period, which she fully supported at first.)  She would complain about the evils of having to work ... to everyone who had held multiple jobs since college.  Eyeroll.  ?

 

[plansrme]

My 20 yo graduated from college one Saturday, about a month ago, and flew to Europe the following Wednesday.  She has four years' of earnings from coaching gymnastics, tutoring, math prizes, research and scholarships that she's never spent, and now she is (a little of it, anyway).  She starts a Ph.D. program in September, so this is her big break  She checks in regularly, and I am happy that she's having a great trip before settling into academia.  She is fortunate that she didn't need her earnings for living expenses (you're welcome, Sweetie!), but I am still proud of her for managing not to spend much on stuff we didn't cover.  But, yeah--most kids her age have no idea how difficult it is to travel when you're working.  Like so much in life, when you have the time, you don't have the money; when you have the money, you don't have the time (or the health, perhaps).

[SKL]

And that's why I travel with my kids nowadays ... because if I wait until they are grown, I might have a hard time with the rigors of traveling.

Of course traveling with kids has its pros and cons, LOL.  The airfare for one thing.  (We can all share a bed at hotels still, but that will eventually be an issue too.)

On the positive side, at least my kids have seen the world ... not sure how much of it they will remember ....

[stephanier.1765]

My son is going part time to be a stay at home dad. Of my three boys, he's the last one I saw doing such a thing. When his wife goes back to work, I'm flying up there to give him a helping hand because I'm beyond worried about his parenting skills ie. diaper changing, feeding, burping..you name it. I know my children survived my learning curve but I do not have faith that his child will. LOL

[goldberry]

I think it's great honestly.  When I was young I did everything by the book.  Looking back, I really squandered the freedom we had, before kids, mortgages, etc.  But then again, I might have been a nervous wreck otherwise.  I'm not very good with uncertainty. I liked knowing I would get my 40 hour check every week, staying in the same house for 10 years, etc. But if you want to take risks and explore the world, early 20s is the time to do it!

[goldberry]

On 5/31/2018 at 12:38 PM, SKL said:

 

On the positive side, at least my kids have seen the world ... not sure how much of it they will remember ....

 

My mother is German I went to Europe several times as a child.  I thought it was no big deal, and didn't fully appreciate it. Once I even was really cranky about missing time with my friends over the summer. ?  To me it was just another trip.  Now, I would LOVE to have that opportunity.  Hopefully your kids will do better than I did at appreciating it!

[SKL]

1 hour ago, goldberry said:

 

My mother is German I went to Europe several times as a child.  I thought it was no big deal, and didn't fully appreciate it. Once I even was really cranky about missing time with my friends over the summer. ?  To me it was just another trip.  Now, I would LOVE to have that opportunity.  Hopefully your kids will do better than I did at appreciating it!

Well, they always grumble.  But this year I told them we might have to stay home, and Miss Grumbly was like "what?  We have to travel!"

[Bambam]

My college daughter has acquaintances who quit good jobs for the weekend off or for vacations ---- because they just don't want to ask for the time off.  I'm like who does that? I don't think that speaks well for their longevity for any job.  

[Wheres Toto]

My oldest did quit a job when they wouldn't give her off for a trip she was taking to Europe.  She did put in for the time but they turned her down.  It was a job hostessing at a restaurant, she absolutely hated it, and it was nothing that was leading to a big future.  It was just something to fill in until she went back to grad school, and that might have worked once she was in school again.  She actually asked us our advice because she felt bad quitting but it was an opportunity that wasn't going to come up again anytime soon.   Retail and restaurant jobs are super easy to come by around here.  She's now a retail manager making a lot more money with the same flexibility for school. 

[Hoggirl]

Ds graduates in two weeks.  Four days after, he leaves for 10 1/2 weeks of travel through SE Asia.  Part of me is scared to death (because I am completely unfamiliar with that part of the world), but most of me is very excited for him!! He starts his job in mid-September.  I think young people realize that, until they retire, there is never again going to be a long block of time for extended travel. 

The young folks are all about experiences.  Ds has a friend group of eight.  I sent them all on an excursion to Alcatraz and out to dinner as their graduation gifts.  Who needs a money clip??? 

Ds is definitely learning about “adulting” though - he doesn’t like spending (his) money at all! 

[madteaparty]

It’s a brilliant idea.i didn’t do it when young so I’m dragging my kids around SE Asia and Middle East now. It’s a great experience, it’s just we get looks of surprise from everyone and it’s just logistically a bit harder (DH won’t do hostels for example so I do those when he’s not with us). 

The whole school/job/kids/house/wait for retirement to do anything is not for everyone. There’s different ways to live. I’ve met many people who work seasonally, or took time between high school and university to travel, etc.

[Ali in OR]

I was looking at the wedding website for a dd of a coworker of dh's (wedding websites are another thing not of my generation...). Anyway, bride and groom both quit their jobs and after the wedding they are planning to travel the world until their money runs out, then look for new jobs. Makes her dad a little nervous, but she does have a former employer who would hire her back in a minute.

[zejh]

14 hours ago, Bambam said:

My college daughter has acquaintances who quit good jobs for the weekend off or for vacations ---- because they just don't want to ask for the time off.  I'm like who does that? I don't think that speaks well for their longevity for any job.  

 

My mother retired a little earlier than she might have otherwise because of time off (or lack thereof) at her job, but to be fair, she was already over 60, her own mother was needing to move into assisted living, and I (her only child) had some non-trivial health problems at the time (and now she has grandchildren to visit several times a year)... That said, before she was at a plausible retirement age, she had to cancel a cruise because her work canceled all vacation time at the last minute, and several other vacations were dicy til the last minute...

[plansrme]

11 hours ago, Hoggirl said:

Ds graduates in two weeks.  Four days after, he leaves for 10 1/2 weeks of travel through SE Asia.  Part of me is scared to death (because I am completely unfamiliar with that part of the world), but most of me is very excited for him!! He starts his job in mid-September.  I think young people realize that, until they retire, there is never again going to be a long block of time for extended travel. 

The young folks are all about experiences.  Ds has a friend group of eight.  I sent them all on an excursion to Alcatraz and out to dinner as their graduation gifts.  Who needs a money clip??? 

Ds is definitely learning about “adulting” though - he doesn’t like spending (his) money at all! 

Have you watched the Netflix series Travels With My Father?  It is a reality series following a British comedian who takes a similar trip (Vietnam, Cambodia, etc.) with his 70+ yo father.  It is so, so funny, and I am not usually a fan of reality series.

[Hoggirl]

1 hour ago, plansrme said:

Have you watched the Netflix series Travels With My Father?  It is a reality series following a British comedian who takes a similar trip (Vietnam, Cambodia, etc.) with his 70+ yo father.  It is so, so funny, and I am not usually a fan of reality series.

No, I haven’t!  Thanks for the tip!!  

[madteaparty]

 

13 hours ago, Hoggirl said:

Ds is definitely learning about “adulting” though - he doesn’t like spending (his) money at all! 

Well then he chose SE Asia wisely ?

 

[MeaganS]

DH and I are considered millennials. One of the main reasons we homeschool is to allow for flexibility in our lifestyle. DH just finished his residency and now works 7 days on/7 days off. So every other week we are all home! It is awesome and we are having so much fun with the flexibility. A few months ago we bought a pop-up camper and have been renovating it and it is almost done, and really cute if I say so myself. Now we can travel even less expensively than staying in hotels with more comfort than tent camping, which isn't something we generally enjoy for more than a night or two. We aren't able to travel internationally much (at all yet) with 4 kids because of money, but we can afford and enjoy car trips, so we are taking advantage of exploring the country. I often take the girls on trips on my own if dh is working or the trip will take longer than a week. Its a great way to live and one of the things I find deeply fulfilling.

[foxbridgeacademy]

I regularly encourage my children to look for careers that give them the opportunity to travel and just take time off.  my oldest is an AuPair in Paris, she did internships and mission work in Africa and South America.  

The second oldest is living with her grandma while she and her husband go to school full time so they can afford to travel (we just got back from New Orleans and Navarre).

Youngest wants to join the Peace Corps (if her health allows) or do some kind of humanitarian work ANYWHERE but here.

DS seems to be the only traditionalist.  He wants to go to College, get a good job, take some nice vacations, meet a girl, buy a house, and settle down.

[Tsuga]

I traveled for work through my 20s. I always worked because there was no food otherwise. But it sounds like OP's kid may not be cut out for 9-5 at this stage. There are a lot of options in life, always have been. You just have to make it happen. Peace Corps, Americorps, these have been around for generations. Do it before you have a baby, is my only advice. We might do it again afterwards in our 50s again. Why not? My greatest generation grandparents all traveled and served them settled down, as did my great grandparents. 

[mommyoffive]

20 hours ago, madteaparty said:

It’s a brilliant idea.i didn’t do it when young so I’m dragging my kids around SE Asia and Middle East now. It’s a great experience, it’s just we get looks of surprise from everyone and it’s just logistically a bit harder (DH won’t do hostels for example so I do those when he’s not with us). 

The whole school/job/kids/house/wait for retirement to do anything is not for everyone. There’s different ways to live. I’ve met many people who work seasonally, or took time between high school and university to travel, etc.

 

Well now I am addicted to your blog.  Amazing.  Do you live in the US? 

[madteaparty]

36 minutes ago, mommyoffive said:

 

Well now I am addicted to your blog.  Amazing.  Do you live in the US? 

Thanks! I do live in the US.

[mommyoffive]

2 minutes ago, madteaparty said:

Thanks! I do live in the US.

 

Tell me more.  I need some time to sit and read it without the kids on top of me.  

Where are all the places you have gone?  

Was it all in one trip? 

Do you travel with your dh all the time?  Do you get lots of vacation time?   Just wondering how you swing it like that?  

Do you spend a lot of time in these spots? 

[madteaparty]

1 minute ago, mommyoffive said:

 

Tell me more.  I need some time to sit and read it without the kids on top of me.  

Where are all the places you have gone?  

Was it all in one trip? 

Do you travel with your dh all the time?  Do you get lots of vacation time?   Just wondering how you swing it like that?  

Do you spend a lot of time in these spots? 

So most of this is answered in the very first blog post and I really need to do a reflective post on how I thought it would go and how it actually went ? I know the blog is not organized or categorized, it’s mostly so I can remember what happened when I settle back down.

i do not work currently, decided to take 6 months to travel before DS starts high school this fall. Pulled youngest from school (incidentally, she has had a harder time with full time travel than he has—maybe because he can play fortnite on the road?? She loves school and bus and neighborhood kids so this is harder for her. My big mistake in travelling fast is not building in traditional playground time for her. I’ve only been to some countries in SE Asia, China, now a bit of the Middle East (Israel and Jordan) and then a bit of Europe. DS is then going to Japan and that will be it, so it won’t  even be a full 6 months of travel. I ran out of $ but mostly stamina sooner than I thought and anyway a side effect of being nomads is that now I oddly really want to go back to work ?. I know people do this long term, travel with their kids full time and to far more exotic places than I’ve been, but that sort of lifestyle doesn’t work here with DH not with us. 

Because DH is with us only part of the time (he works), I travel fast, meaning I move every 3 days or so, versus staying in one place for weeks or months at a time (which some families do). I’ve been on the road since late February but most of May was at home so DS could do some end of year testing and kids would have birthdays there. DS also did a big US rollercoaster trip then. 

The people you meet are fascinating. And getting used to complete dislocation (see my China posts for more on that) has been quite the life experience for us three.

[Faith-manor]

I think it is great. I left for college at 16, graduated at 20, married dh right away, had dd at 23, and well at that point was fairly tied down though we did do some traveling with the kids, and lots of camping, fishing, hiking. I will have an empty nest in the fall, and though I am going back to work to pay for college, will have a lot of my summers off due to limited performance schedule and schools on break. Dh and I are making plans. But, he is slowing down some, and honestly I can look back and say that it would have been a lot easier when we were younger.

We are encouraging the boys to save their summer earnings as much as possible since we can pay tuition, books, etc. so they can use that for some travel between their bachelor's and grad school. This is especially important for our boy who will be largely unable to travel by the time he is thirty due to how much arthritis is already settling into his leg injury. He's 21 and walking with a cane about half the time, especially in winter. So he definitely needs to travel a bunch in his early to mid twenties because he'll be unable to a decade from now.

[madteaparty]

3 hours ago, Faith-manor said:

He's 21 and walking with a cane about half the time, especially in winter. So he definitely needs to travel a bunch in his early to mid twenties because he'll be unable to a decade from now.

?my DH had junior RA when young. He’s fine now but I think there’s some permanent damage as we walked over 10 miles yesterday , most of it climbing, and while he did fine, even carrying our 7 yr old a lot of it, it took a toll and he sort of crashed pretty badly.  

[CAJinBE]

We've taken our daughters all over Europe since they were toddlers. Most of which they don't remember, but they do know how to travel and are not afraid to go places alone by air or train. They are savvy about personal security and terrorism having lived through the Brussels attack in 2016. We were on the metro three stations away and evacuated. Even though they don't remember all the places they have been, it has still shaped who they are as people in many ways. I'm wondering how they will settle down or where after university. 

[regentrude]

18 minutes ago, CAJinBE said:

We've taken our daughters all over Europe since they were toddlers. Most of which they don't remember, but they do know how to travel and are not afraid to go places alone by air or train. They are savvy about personal security and terrorism having lived through the Brussels attack in 2016. We were on the metro three stations away and evacuated. Even though they don't remember all the places they have been, it has still shaped who they are as people in many ways. I'm wondering how they will settle down or where after university. 

This.

My kids don't remember the details of our travels. But they have developed the mindset that traveling is a normal part of lifestyle, something that people do.

[Junie]

I have an aunt who is an RN at her local hospital.  Her work week consists of 3 12-hour shifts.  She often will schedule 3 days in a row at the beginning of one week and then 3 days in a row at the end of the next week, giving her 8 days off in the middle.  She is able to take many vacations without asking for time off.

[madteaparty]

Oh and it’s not just loser millennial or feckless SAHM (like me ;)) who go for this type of thing. We are doing the tourist circle in Jordan and we keep running into this family: optometrist lady and her similarly employed husband from NJ, and tiny baby: they’re on maternity/paternity leave ❤️.