fairfarmhand Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 So I just came through a rough patch in my life. Three years of stress and anxiety. Depression. The darkest time I've ever had. This was one of those times when the very essence of who I was was almost broken. Last fall started the healing. I'm in such a better place now, my family is in such a better place. I'm a journal keeper. I just completed the journal from that time. I've read back through it and just reading the stuff I was dealing with makes me feel bleak. I don't like to think about those days. I've never destroyed one of my journals before. I'm SO tempted to burn it. I don't like to think about those times. The darkness was overwhelming. And the rough part is that during the darkest times, I didn't write at all. Should I burn it? Will I regret it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 Glad things (and you) are better. This is one reason I don't journal. I don't want people years from now to read what I have written. Then again I am one that also burns her Bible Study books when I am done with them as I don't want anyone reading my answers. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 I destroyed all of my teen ones. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 If burning it would be symbolic of the tough time being over, it may actually help you. Sometimes we also write things during deep and dark moments that could be misunderstood. On the other hand, would it be helpful for anyone to read these years from now since they are a part of life's journey? 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 I destroyed mine. All that negativity, stress, worry, uncertainty. I'm a totally different person than I was. And honestly, there was so much good I didn't bother writing down and that depresses me. I used the journal to process the bad. And now that I'm done, there's no reason to keep them around. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 Leave your old thoughts in the past by burning them and move on to a happier healthier time. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 Burning is very cleansing. Use it as a ritual to say goodbye to bad times and look forward. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linders Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 Another vote for burning. A few years back I found a journal I had in high school, when my family was going through a bad patch. From an adult perspective, those times no longer seemed so tragic, but just reading that journal, written by a moody, dramatic teen, made me feel horrible. I got rid of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 If you're thinking about destroying them, go ahead and do it. Just don't forget the marshmallows! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 I'll be the dissenting voice. I would keep them, but don't make them accessible to your family (like, not on a shelf or in a public space in your home). When you write your autobiography...when your kids want to know you after you are gone...when you encounter another dark place and want to remember how you coped "last time...These can be helpful to have around. What I've done is save my journals, but add a note or an update near the end, telling what I've learned, or how things are now. Re-reading them is sometimes stunning, to see how far I've come, or to see what I still have trouble with. I'm all about self-knowledge, and I want my life to help my kids. They will be able to see what I struggled with by reading my journals. I do, however, agree with removing or blacking out some super-personal details, if that is your wish and your way of writing. That said, if you do burn one or destroy one, there's nothing wrong with that. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 I have had this exact quandry. Mine is also complicated by true but hurtful things I wrote about others. I do sometimes think, “I don’t want people reading this if I die suddenly.’ But it also seems like destroying them is like erasing that time of hurt and ignoring that it happened. So I am not much help. I still have mine. I did destroy my teenaged journals, though, long ago. I still have some very tortured poetry I wrote but I very rarely look at them. It’s hard to see the hurt person I was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 I've always destroyed journals after a time. There are things I would not want my husband or kids to come across after I'm dead. After my mother died I found some poems and notes that troubled me and left me with some questions. But I had no one to ask about things. My father had died, and I didn't want to trouble my siblings. So I was left wondering and wish I had never read those things. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlsdMama Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 3 minutes ago, marbel said: I've always destroyed journals after a time. There are things I would not want my husband or kids to come across after I'm dead. After my mother died I found some poems and notes that troubled me and left me with some questions. But I had no one to ask about things. My father had died, and I didn't want to trouble my siblings. So I was left wondering and wish I had never read those things. Not the same, but it leads me to the same thinking - after DH's grandma died we found some writing and jokes she'd opted to keep that were racy and off-color and it's not the type of person she was in her later years. Despite that, it did shade our view of her, kwim? So, here's the thing - the journals were very clouded and are not who you are - they reflect not you, but depression. I can see the value in them, but if one got separated from the others, then the reader would wonder if this journal did define you, kwim? If I opted to keep them - I would annotate them I think. I can see the value in actually keeping them, as others here have suggested they have emotional value, but I do think I'd write through them if I did, kwim? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 I’d keep it for at least another year before deciding to burn it. But I’d keep it in a very safe, private place. One day you might benefit from looking back at the tough time and how you came out the other side as a survivor. It might help you get through the next rough time, or it might help you work through unresolved issues from this time. But there’s a lot of value in burning it, too. Go with your gut. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 I’d get rid of them. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2ndGenHomeschooler Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 I got rid of mine as I started the process of packing for our upcoming move. I mostly journal in the dark or overwhelming times and I don’t want to move that into our new house. Also, I don’t want my family to find them in the future and think that was who I was all the time. There have been mostly happy, joyous times but I don’t journal those. I don’t want my journals full of marriage and parenting struggles and depression to cloud my family’s memories of me. If I journaled everything maybe I would feel differently as that would be a truer picture of my life. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 I stopped journaling because I don't want other people ever reading certain things about me. I think I've destroyed all my old journals too. I'm surprised at how many are pro-burn, but honestly, I would probably get rid of them too. Even though I really like the idea of keeping my brilliant and poignant thoughts. Fact is that there will be more brilliant and poignant thoughts forthcoming whether I burn the old ones or not. ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 I burned all of my old journals and I do not regret it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 I wouldn’t want anyone I love to ever read mine - so I don’t write them. Or I write and destroy shortly afterwards. My general rule is if I die tomorrow and I wouldn’t want them to find it - either don’t write it or destroy after doing so. I don’t plan to die tomorrow. But most no one ever does. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 Most of mine have fiction in them. So I never burn them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted May 29, 2018 Share Posted May 29, 2018 "Don't bother looking back, you aren't going that way." Rangnar Lothbrok 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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