Putting one child in school, transition advice appreciated!

[Runningmom80]

** I'm not looking for advice on whether she should go to school, just advice on the transition**

 

My husband and I are leaning towards sending my DD to school net year for 3rd grade. (The plan is that the boys will go the following year.)

She is the loan extrovert among her siblings and is asking to go to school.  Since the plan is for all the kids to go eventually we are ok sending her ahead of her brothers. 

If you have done this, do you have any words of wisdom?  My main concern is helping her adjust and also to not feel left out since her brothers (and her twin!) will still be home. 

I know it sounds crazy but my mom instincts are telling me to at least let her try it. 

[Lang Syne Boardie]

She's not guaranteed to feel like she's missing out; she might feel like she's going out on an adventure and the others are missing out. Since she wants to go to school, I think I would not bring up the idea of comparing. (Not saying you would, it sounds like you're just trying to prepare for possible problems. But I guess it could just as likely bother one of the hs'ed kids...) Work on making good memories all together, after school time. 

[prairiewindmomma]

We did it this year—sent only our third grader in. She has loved it, as an extrovert. 

Everything went well. My dd wears tennis shoes every day to school (which was a surprise change from cute dresses + sandals) and she had trouble figuring out the hot lunch line. Everything else went smoothly. Mostly, all of the horrid things everyone here warned about (excessive testing, bullying, excessive homework) haven’t been an issue for us, at all. 

As a parent, giving up choosing the “best” materials to teach a subject was hard. I still after school in math and English for 30-45 minutes. It works well, though. 

[Meadowlark]

I put my kids in school this year, including my oldest (5th grade) who is an extreme extrovert. He immersed into school as if he'd been there his whole life. I think if your daughter really is an extrovert, then she will seamlessly blend in because she will be overjoyed to be there-and positive energy goes over well with the other kids. I did what any mother would do-gave my kids a tour, took them school shopping, talked it up, etc. They all transitioned just fine. Now, 3/5 are coming home next year, but not the extrovert. He's happy as a clam in school. Good luck!

[Terabith]

I sent my oldest to school in fourth grade, while I kept my younger one at home for another year.  She was extroverted.  I expected a little bit of difficulty with going to bed/ getting up routine, but it really wasn't an issue.  She had a couple times of forgetting to bring home the right book to do homework, but it was only a couple times and really wasn't a big deal.  She was GIDDY with how much she loved school.  She constantly danced and sang about how much she loved her school.  She definitely did not feel she was missing anything at home; she was so giddy that we wound up sending my introverted kid the next year. It was not the completely pain free and massive field of delight that it was for my older one, but it was a good experience on the whole, too, and not really anything that required any preparation.  If I were sending a kid to school for the first time in middle or high school, I would want to make sure they were prepared for things like the kind of writing the school teaches, how to take notes, how to use a planner, but for third or fourth grade?  No biggie at all!

[Targhee]

Not crazy at all.  We did this with middle DD in 4th.  She’s still wanting public next year for 6th, and loves it.

Transitioning things - remind her she has to have permission to get up and do things (bathroom, etc), will need to stand in line and raise her hand, and that things will be foreign for a little while but she’ll cone to figure it out. 

Advice for you is to be enthusiastic for her.  I am always willing to pull my child for a day to do a fun hs opportunity with us. We didn’t hide anything from her, and we talk about our days more since we aren’t all together all the time. Good luck mama! Good luck to you Dd too!

[Runningmom80]

These are all great suggestions, thank you so much!

 

I feel bad being really excited for her, but I am. I know I shouldn't, and a really good homeschool friend reminded me that homeschooling is all about doing what is right for the individual kid, and if that means b&m school, I shouldn't feel bad about it.

 

I'm taking notes and really appreciate the replies! ?

[SanDiegoMom]

I talk a lot with my kids about the choices we make in life -- how there is often not a right or wrong choice, just different choices. When they were 3rd grade I used peanut butter and jelly sandwiches vs turkey:)  Neither one is the right choice, but both are valid choices that each have their own pros and cons and you can reap the benefits of one or the other, but not both.  That's taken a lot of pressure off of me as I've gotten older -- for some reason my parents (maybe because they have a lot of anxiety?) lived in the perpetual fear of MAKING THE WRONG CHOICE.  So with my family we focus on just keeping in mind what our goals are (for your daughter, more friends, structure in school, whatever it is) and not focus on what we might be missing.