Little girls and periods

[teachermom2834]

My just turned 10yo dd called me into the bathroom because there was blood on the toilet paper.  It was very surprised. While I know some girls do start that early I can’t say I have heard of it within my peer group.

Does anyone have a girl that really started that early? I am still unsure this is even it. I was caught off guard. She is not petite. Tall and 85 pounds but she does not have acne or underarm or other hair but I wouldn’t necessarily know that for sure. She wears a sports bra but doesn’t really need it in most clothes and she doesnt seem to be any more developed than other 9-10 yos. So I didn’t really expect her to be so far ahead. I was probably 11.5 years when I started.

She isn’t conplaining of any pain so I don’t think it is an infection. So I guess I will deal with denial and accept this might really be happening.

Dance recital this weekend. We were on our way out for tech week rehearsal when this happened. I’m sad. She is little and young at heart. 

[EMS83]

::grouphug:: 

[Guest]

From your other descriptions, this does not sound like menarche to me. The period is usually one of the last features of adulthood to come along. There is also the 100-lb. guideline. Most girls will reach 100 lbs. before menarche. 

Could she have gotten a cut in the area? I am assuming she has the necessary information, if this is menarche? 

 

[Guest]

PS. I did know some of my dd’s peers who started that early, but they did not look like “little girls.” They had shaped hips and br@sts and were taller/bigger than the non-pubescent girls by far. 

[Mergath]

My almost 10yo hasn't started yet, but I'm thinking it's going to happen any time now. She has boobs and body hair, so I'm sure that'll be next. Ten is a bit on the early side, but not abnormal by any means. 

If she doesn't have any other signs of puberty yet though, it couldn't hurt to get her checked out by a doctor to rule out other causes. 

[Scarlett]

I was 13....10 is young but it happens.  My niece was 10...I was sad for her too, but it is what it is.

[teachermom2834]

15 minutes ago, Quill said:

From your other descriptions, this does not sound like menarche to me. The period is usually one of the last features of adulthood to come along. There is also the 100-lb. guideline. Most girls will reach 100 lbs. before menarche. 

Could she have gotten a cut in the area? I am assuming she has the necessary information, if this is menarche? 

 

I think you are right. I hope you are right! 

Totally possible she has a cut or something. We were on our way out the door and didn’t have a lot of time to process. I reassured her and told her we’d watch and see what happens and figure it out.

[teachermom2834]

3 minutes ago, Mergath said:

My almost 10yo hasn't started yet, but I'm thinking it's going to happen any time now. She has boobs and body hair, so I'm sure that'll be next. Ten is a bit on the early side, but not abnormal by any means. 

If she doesn't have any other signs of puberty yet though, it couldn't hurt to get her checked out by a doctor to rule out other causes. 

She is due for a checkup soon so I will run it by the doc. 

[2ndGenHomeschooler]

I was 10 and so was my youngest DD. All three of my girls started in the same year and with varying levels of other development. One of DD10’s friends also started at 10. It’s young but not outside normal ranges. 

[alisoncooks]

Well, my oldest started at 10years/4months. Youngest just started two months ago, at 9years/10months. I was pretty sad for her -- I'd hoped she had (at least) another 6 months. But she's over 100 pounds and developing in all the other ways. *sigh*

FWIW, they've rolled with it pretty well. Even the youngest, who's still very much a little girl. 

[The Governess]

One of mine did. There were other signs, although I thought we probably still had a year or so. The biggest sign was that she was on the tail end of a huge growth spurt - had grown 8 inches in the previous two years. She was only about 70 pounds when she started so that rule didn't hold true for her. 

[Slache]

I was 9. It was before any other signs of puberty.

[rebcoola]

Interesting my oldest  DD has been showing all the  signs for over a year, acne, boobs, hips, hair everywhere.  

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

For what it's worth, my younger DD started at not quite 11 1/2, and while her first was a pretty normal-seeming period, she's only had two other real periods over the past year, as well as some random spotting. She's only just now starting to get on some sort of schedule with period-like signs. So it might not be full-blown menses just yet. 

Hugs to you both!

[AmandaVT]

I was 10 and my mom was 9. I didn't have any other signs either - I had just started wearing a training bra but that's it. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

20 minutes ago, ILiveInFlipFlops said:

For what it's worth, my younger DD started at not quite 11 1/2, and while her first was a pretty normal-seeming period, she's only had two other real periods over the past year, as well as some random spotting. She's only just now starting to get on some sort of schedule with period-like signs. So it might not be full-blown menses just yet. 

Hugs to you both!

I was going to say that if it is a first period it might be very light and very sporadic. 

[SquirrellyMama]

My oldest dd was 13 yrs 4 months when she first got hers, and I thought that was early. I was over 15 when I got mine. My youngest just turned 13, and I wonder if she'll be like her sister or me.

Kelly

[Selkie]

My dd has friends who started that early, and they weren't bigger or more noticeably developed than other girls their age.

My dd didn't start until she was 14 1/2, and she has always been tall and reached the 100 pound mark long before she started.

[Wheres Toto]

My youngest started last August - a month after she turned 10.   She did have noticeable breasts and body hair, was just under 100 pounds and about 5'2" tall, but she still looked like a kid not like a teen.  She's been getting them pretty regularly since then.

I was also 10, oldest dd was 12.

[Jann in TX]

I was 9 years 10 months-- almost 5ft tall and very skinny-- no other signs.  I wore a training bra but just because my older sister had one!

My oldest started on her 12th birthday-- she was petite and under 100 pounds-- no other signs.  She grew 7 inches taller and developed her figure several years later.

My middle dd started 2 weeks later-- she was 10 and a bit chubby but not developed.  She grew 8 inches after.

Both girls were VERY regular the first few years (then middle developed PCOS)

Youngest dd started at 11.  No signs-- she grew 5 inches taller and developed after she started.

[Amber in SJ]

I was 12, so older than your dd, but I weighed 82 lbs, had no hips or bust and very little body hair.  I was dancing 6 days/ week.  I didn't hit 100 lbs or develop physically until I stopped dancing, but once it started at 12 I got my period like clockwork.  Is your daughter very active in a sport or other physical activity?  All 3 of my daughters were within a couple of months of 12 when they started.  

10 is a little on the young side.  Hugs to you both.  

Amber in SJ

[hippiemamato3]

I know several girls who started at age 10. 2 of them were quite tiny and had few other symptoms. 

[teachermom2834]

1 minute ago, Amber in SJ said:

I was 12, so older than your dd, but I weighed 82 lbs, had no hips or bust and very little body hair.  I was dancing 6 days/ week.  I didn't hit 100 lbs or develop physically until I stopped dancing, but once it started at 12 I got my period like clockwork.  Is your daughter very active in a sport or other physical activity?  All 3 of my daughters were within a couple of months of 12 when they started.  

10 is a little on the young side.  Hugs to you both.  

Amber in SJ

She is active. She dances three days a week (though not intense-more of a rec studio). We walk two miles together every morning and she rides bikes and plays outside everyday. She is not thin by any stretch but a healthy athletic build with extra squishiness in her tummy. 

[Wheres Toto]

A year before my daughter started she was chunky and average height for her age.  In the year leading up to it, she gained 5 inches but didn't put on any weight so slimmed down quite a bit.   She's still growing and I would bet she gains more than 5 inches before this year is done.

[Lori D.]

Here's an interesting short article that sums up some of the current research and thinking about why girls in Western-nations are going into puberty and starting menstration at much younger ages than 100 years ago, and at much younger ages than girls in non-Western cultures.

[Selkie]

9 minutes ago, Lori D. said:

Here's an interesting short article that sums up some of the current research and thinking about why girls in Western-nations are going into puberty at much younger than 100 years ago, and at much younger ages than girls in non-Western cultures.

Interesting article, thanks for sharing. My dd has eaten whole-food plant-based her whole life, and I'm sure that was a contributing factor to her starting fairly late.

[Terabith]

Ten is very common.  9 is not at all unheard of.  I was 8.  

[Tanaqui]

Ten is within the normal range. I started at that age. However, it's okay to go to a doctor to check it out.

[SquirrellyMama]

1 hour ago, Terabith said:

Ten is very common.  9 is not at all unheard of.  I was 8.  

Oh wow, 8? That's so young. Was it hard to deal with at that age?

Kelly

[hippiemamato3]

3 hours ago, teachermom2834 said:

She is due for a checkup soon so I will run it by the doc. 

 

Has there been any more blood since the initial? I think that might be the best indication of if it's menarche or just a small injury. 

[SKL]

In my [international adoption] community, I've heard of it starting as young as 8yo, and 10yo is quite common.  Also my cousin started at age 9 (back in the 1970s).  Menarche can start before (or after) many other signs of puberty.  I am sorry, I would find it difficult, but unfortunately we don't get a choice.

[Terabith]

1 hour ago, SquirrellyMama said:

Oh wow, 8? That's so young. Was it hard to deal with at that age?

Kelly

Honestly, I was so young, that it was just very matter of fact and not much of a big deal, but I couldn't figure out tampons, and so the no swimming during my period was seriously annoying.  I had precocious puberty, though, and the other parts of puberty (boobs and such) were very hard, but they were even earlier.  

[teachermom2834]

Update: my dd only had a little bit more a couple hours later and then there has not been anymore so I am leaning toward thinking it is a hemorrhoid or other irritation maybe? I’ll follow up but right now I assume it is something else. 

Thanks for all the shared experiences and hugs! I was not ready for this today and especially not as I was dropping her off to a 4 hour recital rehearsal. 

But I will get ready because it will be happening at some point and I can’t be in denial about it ?

[Farrar]

Thinking that this isn't her period seems a bit farfetched to me, honestly. Ten is a common age to start. Unless there's actually evidence that it's something else... Occam's Razor. It's probably her first period. The first one is often very light.

Honestly, this is why it's important to do puberty ed with your kids early.

It doesn't have to be sad either. I know it's always bittersweet for us as parents when kids are growing up, but I feel like "sad" gives girls the wrong message about their periods. It's nothing to be ashamed of or hide. It's nothing scary or bad. It doesn't mean they're any different than before. I think if girls get the message - even if it's not said aloud - that their parents are "sad" about this, then menstruation takes on a negative feeling that it doesn't need to have.

[teachermom2834]

4 hours ago, Farrar said:

Thinking that this isn't her period seems a bit farfetched to me, honestly. Ten is a common age to start. Unless there's actually evidence that it's something else... Occam's Razor. It's probably her first period. The first one is often very light.

Honestly, this is why it's important to do puberty ed with your kids early.

It doesn't have to be sad either. I know it's always bittersweet for us as parents when kids are growing up, but I feel like "sad" gives girls the wrong message about their periods. It's nothing to be ashamed of or hide. It's nothing scary or bad. It doesn't mean they're any different than before. I think if girls get the message - even if it's not said aloud - that their parents are "sad" about this, then menstruation takes on a negative feeling that it doesn't need to have.

Just to clarify- I am not letting on to my dd that this is sad. I am one who is really good about being calm and positive under pressure and while I was surprised I was very relaxed about it and she thanked me for reassuring her and making her feel better. 

But I am not going to deny being sad inside. She is a very sensitive little girl and the idea of dealing with this during a dance recital for a little girl who just figured out the Santa deal...yeah I wouldn’t want it this way if I had a choice. Obviously I don’t and I am not going to make a big deal out of it. It’s not about her growing up. I’m actually one who doesn’t get sentimental about baby years and am fine with growing up. More disappointed that she has to to deal with this (in leotards and bathing suits) at such a young age. But I wouldn’t dwell on that. I have adult kids so I have been through worse growing pains than this. Lol.

But it sure is interesting the range of opinions and experiences. All I have read about 100 lbs, armpit hair six months before, etc is obviously not true. 

But we talk about everything. She is fine. She danced her recital run through last night with a big smile and without a problem. 

[mom@shiloh]

13 hours ago, Quill said:

From your other descriptions, this does not sound like menarche to me. The period is usually one of the last features of adulthood to come along. There is also the 100-lb. guideline. Most girls will reach 100 lbs. before menarche. 

Could she have gotten a cut in the area? I am assuming she has the necessary information, if this is menarche? 

 

I guess there are exceptions to every rule, but I was kinda waiting for the 100 lb. rule for one of my dd. She started when she was 12-13 and weighed 75 lbs. soaking wet. Theoretically, she should have still been using a car seat. I'm not sure this kid will ever make it to 100 pounds. 

But, I agree, that typically you will see other development before menarche and ten is pretty young.

[Pamela H in Texas]

My daughter had some "old blood" at six.  I took her to the doctor immediately.  She did have some very early signs of puberty; but she was definitely not about to start her period.  The doctor thought we'd have 1 & 1/2 years but possibly with some break-through sometimes.  Thankfully, she waited until the month before she turned 10.   So we were prepared for it a long time before it actually happened.  And yes, just like you were sad inside that this could be it, we definitely were happy that it waited. I think it is perfectly fine to have an opinion about whether it is good or bad as long as you don't make a deal out of it to her.  She will develop her own opinion.  

[Bluegoat]

I think it sounds like her period, even with only a it of blood that stopped.  I think it's pretty common for girls to have a short period the first time they get it. It may also be irregular - it might be another six months or so, or it could be just a few weeks.

I agree with those who say that things don't necessarily happen in a certain order, I've seen a pretty wide variety among my dd and her friends, and among mine when I was a kid. my dd had her period before she had any body hair, and she still doesn't have much though it's been over a year now.  I suspect she'll never be a very hairy person.

I'd feel like 10 was kind of a drag, especially with dance involved - I suspect a lot of 10 year olds would prefer not o deal with tampons yet.

[alisoncooks]

Oldest DD's first monthly was just a bit of spotting for a day. Then nothing else that month. Then it skipped a month. The 3rd month it started up full-force and has been clockwork ever since. 

So even if nothing more happens now, it doesn't hurt to be prepared. 

[J-rap]

One of my dd's had her first period at 10.  She thought it was so unfair!  I had mine when I was older, but it began as spotting here and there for a year or two.

I'd guess it's something like that.  I wouldn't worry about it.  If it continues, I'd give her some panty liners.

[shawthorne44]

 

I understand the sadness.   I'm not one to buy Organic unless there is another reason, for example grass-fed beef tastes awesome.   Since the pregnancy for DD, the family has only had Organic no-hormone milk, and reverse osmosis water.  My mother thought she was dying from internal bleeding when she got her first.  She hadn't known about periods.   So, I want DD to have information before her first.   But, I don't want to explain it to her while she still believes in Santa.   

 

 

[Terabith]

2 hours ago, shawthorne44 said:

 

I understand the sadness.   I'm not one to buy Organic unless there is another reason, for example grass-fed beef tastes awesome.   Since the pregnancy for DD, the family has only had Organic no-hormone milk, and reverse osmosis water.  My mother thought she was dying from internal bleeding when she got her first.  She hadn't known about periods.   So, I want DD to have information before her first.   But, I don't want to explain it to her while she still believes in Santa.   

 

 

Why on earth not???   I hear this ALL the time from people, and apparently when the endocrinologist told my mom to tell me about it, that was her reaction, too, but what on earth do the two things have to do with one another?  Honestly, it's just a biological fact of life, that is important for kids to know about.  It's no different than knowing about digestion of food.  I explained it to my kids when they were around two, because they were following me to the bathroom and asked.  And I explained over and over, because they asked every time.  We got It's Perfectly Normal and It's So Amazing and read it to them.  Kids NEED to know about puberty, because even if they don't start early, one of their peers might.  Belief in Santa or the tooth fairy or unicorns and dragons has nothing to do with it.  It's a neutral topic, or it can be.  It's no different than explaining about the solar system.  That doesn't take away their childhood innocence either.  And when you tell kids about puberty really early, way way before it's going to apply to them, there is absolutely no embarrassment.  This is one of those things that I strongly believe earlier is always, always better.  Tell them about puberty.  Tell them where babies come from.  It makes it so much easier.  When it did happen to my kids (one at ten, one at 12.5), they were completely blase.  They talk about their cycles with their father.  There is no embarrassment, because it's always been treated as just a part of life.  I had my older one start carrying supplies in her book bag around eleven, just in case, and she gave them to a friend who started and explained to her friend what was going on because this poor child had no idea.   

Tampons are hard for a lot of people.  I wasn't able to use them until after I had kids, and my kids haven't been able to get them to work, either.  I suspect size may be an issue.  I have a friend whose daughter was a very serious ballet dancer who managed to make pads work for similar reasons.  

[Terabith]

Also, talk about consent early!  Talk about consent when it comes to hugs or tickling or wrestling or anything.  Make sure they understand that they have the power to give consent over their body, and that other people have the right to theirs.  Show them the awesome video about wanting tea.  Make good and sure they know about and have practice with consent long before sex enters the picture.  And talk about consent with regards to sex early and often.  

 

[teachermom2834]

OP here. I do not mind talking to my young dd about puberty. I want her to know and take away the fear and shame, etc.

But I do think it is sad that such a little girl needs to fool with her first period during a ballet recital. I’m not passing that on to her but I do feel badly about it. Heck, my period is extremely unpleasant and I feel sad for myself having to deal with it sometimes. I don’t think wishing she could be spared a few more years or even until after summer water fun makes me a prude  or sets up a bad attitude about it.  To me the “oh that stinks you have your period on the day of the pool party” is just as matter of fact and honest as telling all the facts. 

[Targhee]

We start early in my family, but usually other signs like breast buds, oily hair, and growth spurts happen too.  Could it have been bleeding from constipation? A scratch on her skin? Cracked skin between her butt cheeks? 

[SKL]

I did tell my kids about periods early, because I knew they were in a group that statistically can start early.  I put together some supplies for them to take to school when they were a little under 10yo.  That said, I was hoping against hope for a late start - one of my kids is a late bloomer when it comes to personal hygiene.  Luckily nobody here has started yet, but I have been saying "any day now" for at least a year.  (Actually I found a bit of possible evidence that it had started recently, but my kid says no, and I'm not going to force an inspection iykwim.  She knows to come to me when she needs to.)

[Terabith]

26 minutes ago, teachermom2834 said:

OP here. I do not mind talking to my young dd about puberty. I want her to know and take away the fear and shame, etc.

But I do think it is sad that such a little girl needs to fool with her first period during a ballet recital. I’m not passing that on to her but I do feel badly about it. Heck, my period is extremely unpleasant and I feel sad for myself having to deal with it sometimes. I don’t think wishing she could be spared a few more years or even until after summer water fun makes me a prude  or sets up a bad attitude about it.  To me the “oh that stinks you have your period on the day of the pool party” is just as matter of fact and honest as telling all the facts. 

It IS sad!  I'm sorry; I truly didn't mean to imply that you were a prude or anything.  I've just heard the "I don't want to tell them about puberty while they believe in Santa" for decades, and I've never seen it as equivalent.  I have told my kids that periods are annoying and can be painful; nobody had warned me about the possibility of cramps, and I was worried something was really wrong when they started.  Dealing with a first period during a ballet recital would be potentially upsetting and challenging.  Leotards and swim suits are real issues.  My kids have quit going to summer camp, in part because they can't predict their cycles very well and are afraid that they would start at camp, and that would be hard with all the swimming and such.  Stuff like that IS sad, and yes, being matter of fact and sympathetic is important, too.  I was so pleased that my older kid waited till 12.5 to start. I think we all want to put off the start of it for our kids for as long as possible, for many reasons, including hygiene and the fact that I don't know of anyone who loves getting a period.  

[Tanaqui]

Quote

Why on earth not???  I hear this ALL the time from people, and apparently when the endocrinologist told my mom to tell me about it, that was her reaction, too, but what on earth do the two things have to do with one another?

 

Seriously, the girls knew when they were, like, three. Didn't you all have open bathrooms during toddlerhood? How did you potty train?

(Though we never did Santa either, so....)

Quote

Also, talk about consent early! Talk about consent when it comes to hugs or tickling or wrestling or anything. 

 

Yeah, the eldest girl was, like, five when she got annoyed at me for stopping tickling her when she said "no". That was the day we talked about safewords...!

[shawthorne44]

I apologize if I offended you with my comment on Santa and Periods.   But, I stand by it as that is how I feel.   Believing in Santa is an indicator of a rather young child, and saying 'still believes in Santa' is a vivid way of saying too small to deal with adult things.    Periods suck.   I bleed myself anemic.   As a teenager, I once literally prayed for death, I was in such pain.   This was before the miracle of prescription Ibuprofen.  I think that is reasonable of me to hope that it is far in the future to spare her.   But, when it comes, I'll put a good face on it and deal with it.  DD has a little bit of a clue because we usually don't bother with the bathroom door, except mommy once a month and she got a very quick explanation on why.   DD has read two books that give a kid-appropriate explanation of how babies are made.   We also several times read the excellent book by Stephen Cosgrove with the theme of 'Don't let people do stuff that makes you uncomfortable and tell your parents.'  The main character is a child squirrel, and a mole wants to pluck out long tail fur.   

Here is another example of something I hoped DD wouldn't learn.   The ugly side of a bad divorce.   DD now knows that Daddies sometimes take drugs, hit Mommies and then drop their pants in the living room to pee on the floor, drywall and kid's bikes.   But one of DD's good friends saw all that and told DD.   

 

[SKL]

(And no, I have not taken care of my periods in a way my kids could see.  Neither did my mom, but I managed to figure out what to do.)