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My husband and I both grew up in the Midwest...all our family is here. We did almost ten years in the South, and moved back here in 2014 because of job loss. Hubby is currently working for about eight weeks in the area we moved from, and it is making us both realize how much happier we were there.

He has one sister, but they aren't that close. They get along to discuss the needs of hubby's father who has Parkinsons, but other than that, they don't have much to do with each other. I have seen her once in the almost four years we have been here, and she lives less than ten miles away. I have three siblings, all brothers, and they all kind of do their own thing. Any of us would help each other out, but it is obvious that I am the only girl, and only one of the three makes even a minimal effort to keep in touch. All three are within an hour and a half drive, but none make the drive here.

There are a couple things stopping us from picking up and moving back to the South. His dad's medical needs being one, and my family's ability to totally overreact and act like I am betraying them if I am not within an hour away. My mom would make me feel guilty that her only daughter left. But it is more and more apparent that this isn't home to us. Anyone else not content where you are, or are you "at home"?

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I was born here, dh grew up here.  we occasionally get together with members of his family, very little with mine (for a reason).   One child owns a house here, one with my grandbaby is in texas.  two who will be graduating college soon and moving who knows where.  (one can get a job anywhere, one more specialized would have to go where the jobs are.  some are here, some are far away.)  we're in a very high col area (a house on my street sold last summer for $895K.  it's a tear down, and the lot is too small to subdivide).

there are things I love about the area, and things I don't.   we've occasionally talked about leaving - but the pros still outweigh the cons.

 

I was my mother's main caretaker- and the one of her children she trusted the most to actually have her welfare at heart.  she died in 2009 - so I don't have her holding me here.  

My parents refused to move for a job because their mothers would be angry.  I consider it to have been a huge mistake, because I think our family would have been better off away from them.   

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oh - my grandmother was from the midwest - she came out for the war.  I think she would have been happier if she'd stayed in the midwest.   from what I know of her family - I'm glad she stayed here.

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I’m at home. I guess it would be kind of difficult for me not to feel that way since I’ve lived here all my life. I have the occasional daydream about living somewhere else but I don’t think there’s really anywhere better. Different, sure. But not really better. Now if I could just do something about the summer heat and humidity . . .

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38 minutes ago, gardenmom5 said:

I was born here, dh grew up here.  we occasionally get together with members of his family, very little with mine (for a reason).   One child owns a house here, one with my grandbaby is in texas.  two who will be graduating college soon and moving who knows where.  (one can get a job anywhere, one more specialized would have to go where the jobs are.  some are here, some are far away.)  we're in a very high col area (a house on my street sold last summer for $895K.  it's a tear down, and the lot is too small to subdivide).

there are things I love about the area, and things I don't.   we've occasionally talked about leaving - but the pros still outweigh the cons.

 

I was my mother's main caretaker- and the one of her children she trusted the most to actually have her welfare at heart.  she died in 2009 - so I don't have her holding me here.  

My parents refused to move for a job because their mothers would be angry.  I consider it to have been a huge mistake, because I think our family would have been better off away from them.   

 

That is kind of the issue here too. My family likes drama. They like dredging things up that are now completely irrelevant, and there is a constant air of negativity. I try to always be the one to talk about the positive in things, but their negativity wears on me. My husband has been sober (alcohol) for years, and all the guys in my family drink. If he dares exclude himself from an event because of that, he is being judgemental....and "who does he think he is, he isn't perfect". Meanwhile, there are things that happened to me that I have had to keep quiet for years. If my brothers were to be told, or I bring it up, I would probably end up being the jerk, regardless of the fact that it is 100% NOT my fault. I think that is part of why I was more comfortable 1500 miles away.

All that said, I know that I can call any of them and they would help me if needed.

My husband has been able to connect with people we went to church with there, old neighbors, etc. When he found out he would be going there, he had all kinds of people offer him a place to stay, offers to have him over for dinner, etc. He has said it's bittersweet, because it reminds him of all the reasons we loved living there. Our "family" there was in ways more family than my real family here. They accepted us the way we were...scars and all. No constant negative attitudes, and we were able to grow in our faith so much there. But financially it wasn't feasible to stay, and the guilt trips from family brought us back.

Not sure how much of the feelings of discontent are just because hubby is away and how much is me thinking seriously that this isn't where we "belong".

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44 minutes ago, Pawz4me said:

I’m at home. I guess it would be kind of difficult for me not to feel that way since I’ve lived here all my life. I have the occasional daydream about living somewhere else but I don’t think there’s really anywhere better. Different, sure. But not really better. Now if I could just do something about the summer heat and humidity . . .

 

Haha...we have the heat and humidity here just as bad as there. We just didn't have the "freeze your nostrils together" cold.

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I just moved from a house where I never felt at home   I know how you feel.  Hugs.   We were there for 6 years and I never felt like I belonged.   We bought a fixer-upper with a big yard last fall.  I feel so much happier in my own skin, even with the constant issues with the house.   However, I've never managed to move out of the county I was born and raised in, so I can't speak to moving far away.  Actually, it was my parents who moved away.   That is a tough choice with your dad being sick.    

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I have always lived in the Northwest minus a handful of early elementary years. I have s love hate relationship right now with Washington. I love the variety of things to do, love the weather, I love my friends and family, and I adore it is a place where I can live harmoniously in what feels like a multicultural utopia compared to much of the rest of the US. I love that part so very much.

My desire to move somewhere else has to do with the changes I have seen here. I have lived here in WA specifically for 28 years  and it has changed so much. I miss the feel of Seattle before Amazon took over. It is so much more crowded, more crime, and cost of living is out of control. It feels crazy that you can have six figures and feel like you are just meeting basic necessities with no extra cushion. 

I dream of moving to a cute farmhouse on a couple acres where we can breathe financially. Yet, then I probably wouldn't have the huge amount of homeschool groups, Co ops, classes and so forth that we have here. I guess it comes down to what you value. 

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It took me decades to get out of the South. I was determined to have my kid experience a different part of the country. I’m perfectly happy here, even tho it meant leaving family. I used to think this was where I’d stay the rest of my life, but now I think it will be easy to move again. DS hopes to stay in the Boston area, and our plans include moving that direction. We’ve done the suburbs, the rural life, the extreme-rural, so next we want to try living in a city.

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May I humbly recommend this book?

https://smile.amazon.com/This-Where-You-Belong-Science/dp/0525429123/ref=pd_rhf_gw_p_img_6?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=Q7MRKPV1PSX19R32RRDR

You may end up moving or not; but I do think any place can be home.  I’ve been at home in the very disparate places I’ve lived and I think it’s very much attitude and emotional attachment than the actual places.  That said, a neighborhood with a view near the city is kind of my sweet spot for a physical home.  That’s been tough in the Midwest but we found a hill and bought it up ?

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Might I suggest that for you, it may not just be the "place" but more the revelation of poor boundaries with family and dysfunction? I believe that any place can be home with the right attitude, BUT in your case, it's crazy family stuff making you nuts. That makes the stuff where you came from that much more appealing. You can hang around people that you CHOOSE, who behave in ways that don't drive you bonkers. 

Maybe you need to read the book Boundaries by Dr. Cloud? 

It's okay to move away. My family lives 2 hours away from my dhs family and 3 hours away from my dad. The distance is just about right. Far enough away for us to have our own lives and not be affected by the day to day...quirks...of the family, but close enough to be there in emergencies and to get together at a decent frequency.

So if you truly CAN'T move, then I might focus on building good healthy boundaries, guilt free from all the frustrating aspects of family.

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No, but I think it’s because of my stage of life.

In the old neighborhood, I was in my teens and then twenties.  The friendships we had then were all-encompassing.  We would spend 4 nights out of 7 with the same group of friends—at restaurants or at each other’s houses.

Three months before I turned 30, I had a baby.  I quit my job.  We moved an hour away to live somewhere with a lower cost of living, since our income was cut by 40%.  

We made friends here, but it wasn’t anywhere near the same as making friends before kids.  We couldn’t spend 4 nights out of 7 with other people.  So, the friendships I have here are good, but nowhere near as strong as the older ones.  I still get together with the older friends and as soon as I see them, I’m home.  But when I get together with my *new* friends (it’s been 15 years, so not really *new*), it’s not the same—it’s not home.  

I think if I get back into a stage in life where I hang out with friends multiple times in the same week, maybe when we’re retired, I’ll feel more like home.  I’ve never felt the same sense of home or contentment here as I did where I was in my 20s. But I think that even if I still lived in the old neighborhood, I’d be feeling a little unattached, due to how life changes when there are kids involved. 

 

 

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So far, I've always been happy staying where I am, within roughly an hour of my whole extended family and less than half an hour from my birthplace.

I've traveled the US and the world, but while there are many lovely places I could live in, home still feels like home.

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I live within 5 miles of where I grew up.  I've lived in the same county pretty much my entire life.  So, the area I'm in feels like home because it's the only place I've ever lived.

ETA:  I'm 15 minutes from my mom, 45 minutes from my dad (although we never go to his house, I'm allergic to all their animals), and 2 1/2 hours from the in-laws.  Dh is actually down at his parents with the kids for the weekend.  He tries to go down once a month.

Our house feels like home, in that it's familiar, but I hate it quite a bit of the time.

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No.  We've had a huge population change. "I got mine" is the motto of the new arrivals.  That's not me.  I enjoy my older friends, but most people my age have fled as taxes have increased. I will never enjoy picking beer bottles up as I walk the property line. 

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5 hours ago, Pawz4me said:

I’m at home. I guess it would be kind of difficult for me not to feel that way since I’ve lived here all my life. I have the occasional daydream about living somewhere else but I don’t think there’s really anywhere better. Different, sure. But not really better. Now if I could just do something about the summer heat and humidity . . .

Seriously you read my mind exactly.    Exact same case for us. In the worst heat of the summer, I complain.  Other than that, I'm good.  Though I could do without bugs... but there're everywhere sooooooo...   we did get snow this year for the first time since I was 12 and it took forever to melt.  By that time, I'd had enough.   But it was a refreshing change.  Otherwise we can just travel to NC/TN and see snow.    

Anywho, all that to say, I'm content here.  I love being near the Georgia coast with its gorgeous scenery and mysteriousness that just draws me in.   And we're 1.5 hrs from family which is about perfect. 

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We went through the same thing a while back.  We both grew up in the same small town and left together, when dh joined the Air Force.  After being away for just a few years, we moved back briefly for 8 months, weren't making enough money, and he went into the Army.  We were gone that time for 18 years.  During that 18 years, his dad and my dad had passed away and my mom was sick.  So, since we could, we moved back "home" which we both thought we had always wanted to do.

We didn't like it at all.   It was good for a while, and I would do it all over again, since we had our last baby while we were there (he was the only one of the 4 that got to have his first years with extended family around) and my mom and my stepdad passed away while we were there.

So, while I would do it again, we got the heck out of dodge as soon as we could,  and moved back to where we had lived the longest, which felt like home for real.  We love it and, Lord willing, will not move away again.

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Yes, but it took 5 years (we’ve been here 5.5), and now we’ve been given the possible opportunity to move back home where we’ve wanted to go since we got here!  Funny how that works!  Now we feel completely content if we stay, or if we go.  We are actually a little nervous about going just because we’ve been away, for what feels like so long, and raised our kids here (all 6 and under), but we couldn’t pass up the possible opportunity! 

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I am a first generation immigrant. The first years, I was very homesick. It took me a decade to feel at home here. Now it's still not the favorite place I would choose if I could freely pick where to live, but I feel content.

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I really don’t much like where I currently live.  Not because there is nothing to like, since it’s actually a very interesting country with a lot I want to see and do and so many opportunities, but because I’m not allowed to take advantage of almost any of those opportunities or see and do the things I want do. But it’s just a few more weeks here and then I’ll be in a new country with an entirely new set of challenges and problems, but so many things I’m allowed to do.  I cannot wait to walk or to the store in clothes that I choose in a city with a history or drive somewhere or to leave behind the difficulties of going to church here.

But I almost always feel at home when I’m at home, whether it’s where I’m living for a few days or a few years.  We move all the time so I need that.

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Grew up in Texas, all my family and most of DH's family is there.  The first time we came to Colorado I was 8 years old.  My dad said I looked up and him and said very seriously, "Dad, I wasn't supposed to live in Texas, I was supposed to live in Colorado."  We finally moved here 13 years ago.  We are home here, even without family.  It would take something HUGE to make me move out of the area, although we have talked about temporarily moving back to Texas to care for parents, if it comes to that.  It would have to be temporary.  

In short, yes I believe that for some people, there is a place you feel like home and if that is what you feel, go there.  Life is too short to be elsewhere.

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90% of the time, yes, I am at home here.  We previously lived in a place that just wasn't us at all.  It was tolerable, and nice enough for the right family (not dangerous or anything truly bad), but it never felt like home.  This feels like home.  I honestly hope never to move from this area.

 

10% of the time, I don't like that we're a minimum 20 minute drive from everything, 30 to most things, and 40 to DH's office.  That does grate a bit sometimes.  There are no quick trips, and a lot of time gets sucked up in travel.  Even that has advantages too, but occasionally I wonder what we were thinking.

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I am going through another phase of not liking the country that I am in.  I grew up here, it is naturally beautiful, we have wonderful weather, the people are super friendly, we have a fantastic standard of living, but there are also many many problems and although one tries to make a difference, it is in a few lives out of millions.

We leave early when travelling to the city to miss the traffic, so it was dark when dh left for work last week.  Its and hour and 10 minutes if one leaves early enough, but in peak traffic 2.5 to 3 hours. On the way, rioters had put rocks on the freeway.  He avoided the largest one, but his car was damaged on the next one.  Thankfully only the paintwork and he could continue driving. I also work in the city a few times per week, and both routes there have had trouble in the past.  I'm worried about driving tomorrow morning as this new run of strikes, riots and looting has been going on for nearly 3 weeks now and one doesn't know where it will flair up.  There is too much unemployment and no social nets, so people do desperate things to vent their anger.  We can't stay home as we need to earn a living.

We have lived in the same location for 20 years, but have seen 2 waves of friends emigrating.  As they experience traumatic events, friendship groups talk each other into going (we couldn't due to health issues and now we are too old), so I've had to make new fiends twice around.  I've finally found a few like-minded women again with whom I"m building up friendships.  It does take time for these friendships to deepen. 

My siblings live overseas and my father about 800miles away. We live in a secure eco-estate and I feel safe here, but wonder where my daughters are going to live in a few years.

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2 hours ago, happypamama said:

10% of the time, I don't like that we're a minimum 20 minute drive from everything, 30 to most things, and 40 to DH's office.  That does grate a bit sometimes.  There are no quick trips, and a lot of time gets sucked up in travel.  Even that has advantages too, but occasionally I wonder what we were thinking.

This is us too.  20 minutes from the nearest town for groceries, 20-40 minutes from tutors and activities.  We work in town 20 minutes away a few days per week and in the city an hour and 10 min (without traffic) the other days.  Dh and I seldom have the same roster of town or city so travel separately.

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Oh yeah, I would love to move. We keep inching in that direction and my hopes are that once the youngest has graduated, we can make the leap! We will be leaving behind my parents, but I just don't think I can stay here for the rest of my life and be truly fulfilled.

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For the first 18 years of our marriage, we lived away from family. We moved back to be close when our parents became elderly. I didn't want to go and I regretted the decision. I felt that it wasn't the best place to raise our kids. We lived there for ten years and even though it was where I grew up, it never felt like home to me. We left after ten years and it was hard on my mom. She took it personally, even though I assured her it had nothing to do with her. 

About a year ago, the tables were turned on me. One of my dd moved away with, taking my grandbaby with her. I was sad and I did struggle not to take it personally, but they are happier where they are and ultimately, that's what I want for my kids. I think you should go where it's best for you.

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I love where I live but we cannot stay in this home forever. It has too many stairs, even stairs getting into the house while carrying groceries. It's something that didn't even cross my mind when we bought the house until the first time I went shopping, got home, and realized I had to go up steps with my things. We plan to sell in 8 years when DH is less than 1 year from retirement. Unfortunately, we will not be able to stay where we are because housing prices in our area are ridiculously high. Our street is probably the last street with prices under $200K. In fact, the house across the street that just sold put that in their house description, that it's hard to find such a great cheap house in this area. It sold in less than a week. So when we sell, we'll have to move somewhere else entirely and that upsets me truly.

I suppose I should go live closer to my mom who will need me in 8 years. She'll be 83 and if her husband is still alive, she'll still be caring for him. Things might start getting hard for her. So that's a possibility if we can afford it. Her area isn't too high yet though parts of it are.

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Yes, and no.  Cost of living is really high where I live.  But my mom and dad and my twin are here.  Oldest and her husband still live with us and youngest is a junior in high school.  Everyone comes to our house, for a day, for a week, for the weekend, it is a place of refuge and comfort apparently.  This makes me very happy.  And  love our home, it isn't much but it is very much a HOME.

BUT, I very much want to move to Vermont with my younger sister. I love the mountains, I adore her and her husband, and the cost of living is so much better there.  I love being up there more than anything.  But now is just not the time I guess.

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Yes.

Dh and I lived in a few areas where we liked the area, and the people were nice, but we never felt like we had much in the way of deep friendships there.  One place I felt like there  was a possibility  as the village was very open and friendly, but the pace being so rural was a real factor, I was just far enough outside the village that it was difficult to see people casually.  We seriously considered moving into the village itself, but for various reasons that didn't work out.

In the end, we came into my hometown.  I feel much more connected and at home here, though dh really, really misses rural life.  For him the big bonus here is that he doesn't commute, work is a 10 min bus ride, door to door.  But my parents, most of my aunts and uncles, sister, etc are all here.  My ILs too, although we don't see as much of them, but we do see them regularly.  I also have a few friends I knew from university, and a church I feel at home in where I also have quite a few friends.

In a way I am dreading the living arrangement element of dh retiring - I know he will want to go out of town, and I will really miss my friends - it takes me a long time to get to know people, and while I like most people I also don't easily find kindred spirits, and I hate having to drive everywhere.  

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Yes and no, which is what I say every time this kind of thread comes up. 

Most of my family and most of dh's family is in the area. We want to move 45 minutes to an hour south of where we are so we can be closer to all of them.  The grandkids are an hour away. With dss a firefighter/paramedic and ddil a nurse, their crazy schedules make that 2 hour round trip seem much longer. Visiting with them takes careful planning around their schedules. If we lived closer we could easily pop in for a short time and more often even if only one of them was home.

Though I'm not from here originally my family came here 48 years ago (after 1 year in South Florida), so it's home. My mother lived in the same house until she died. Dh and I stayed in this city because of my mom but after she died there was no longer any reason to stay. We're in the process of fixing up the house to sell and have a goal of moving no later than 2 years from now. 

I don't love my house but I like it well enough. I love my neighborhood. If I could take both the house and neighborhood with me when we move I would. 

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Yes, but it took many years here before I felt like it. I loved, loved, loved our time In CO. The weather was amazing and people were very friendly which was the exact opposite of upstate NY where we had lived before. In CO, we lived in campus family housing with people from all over the world while my husband pursued his PhD. We were very involved in the community, our son was born there, and we just loved everything about it, including the fact that our families in the Midwest were a reasonable drive or plane ride away.

So when we first moved here to the PNW, I was very homesick, both for CO and for the Midwest where we had both grown up and lived for one year after CO. But over time, I’ve really come to love living here and now I definitely think of it as home. People are friendly and the natural beauty of the state is amazing. We are fortunate to live in the very middle of a large city, so we can walk to work and almost everything we need, but are still surrounded by beautiful greenery and water. While the winter rain and darkness can occasionally get me down, it’s been quite awhile since we’ve really had a typical winter, so we are really spoiled by great weather most of the time. While not as diverse as our family housing community in CO, we live in a very close knit neighborhood with almost weekly gatherings. About the only negative is almost all of our extended family is in the Midwest or further east, so traveling to see them is not quick, easy, or cheap. But neither of us has any interest in living in the Midwest again, primarily due to the weather. I can’t stand the hot, humid, buggy summers and my husband can’t tolerate the cold winters.

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23 hours ago, peacelovehomeschooling said:

No.   But, it is where we will be for the next 4-5 years at least, possibly forever.  I try hard to be at peace with it.  But my heart is not here and never has been.

 

Same.

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I am content where we are now, but we'll likely be moving in the next 4-5 years. We've moved a lot as an Air Force family and sometimes I've had to force myself to look for things to be content about. We moved back to a city we'd lived in before and expected most things to be the same. Unfortunately, we discovered that even though we'd kept in touch with friends for the 3 years we lived elsewhere, we had all changed and the relationships that had once been there weren't the same anymore.

I expect once youngest is out of school and the other 2 have settled somewhere, we'll be looking to move near one of them.

We have chosen not to return to the city both dh and I grew up in. We've liked living where we're close enough if family needed help, but far enough that they can't easily up and visit unexpectedly. Also, that city was nice when we were growing up. Now, it's more of a huge city, not what we remembered or have wanted to live in.

 

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No, I'm not content where I am, mostly because it's so far from my family + familiar places in New England. We're moving this summer back to Maine (YAY!!!!!), not exactly to where I grew up, but nearby. I'm apprehensive about the move, but hopeful that, even though it's not my hometown, it will feel like home soon. I really don't want to move again after this!

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On 5/5/2018 at 11:35 AM, tbog said:

My husband and I both grew up in the Midwest...all our family is here. We did almost ten years in the South, and moved back here in 2014 because of job loss. Hubby is currently working for about eight weeks in the area we moved from, and it is making us both realize how much happier we were there.

He has one sister, but they aren't that close. They get along to discuss the needs of hubby's father who has Parkinsons, but other than that, they don't have much to do with each other. I have seen her once in the almost four years we have been here, and she lives less than ten miles away. I have three siblings, all brothers, and they all kind of do their own thing. Any of us would help each other out, but it is obvious that I am the only girl, and only one of the three makes even a minimal effort to keep in touch. All three are within an hour and a half drive, but none make the drive here.

There are a couple things stopping us from picking up and moving back to the South. His dad's medical needs being one, and my family's ability to totally overreact and act like I am betraying them if I am not within an hour away. My mom would make me feel guilty that her only daughter left. But it is more and more apparent that this isn't home to us. Anyone else not content where you are, or are you "at home"?

No, not at home. I wish I could move somewhere with 4 seasons but it probably won't happen.

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I'm more content than I have ever been, but not quite 100%. I'm living in the town in which I was born, not where I grew up. I have friends here that are going to stay. I have a house with my mom that offers good stability. This town has enough of what I want that I'm not unhappy. I'm also 51, so moving is a pain. 

I will be moving away briefly for graduate school, but I'll just rent a cheap apartment and then return home after my master's. 

 

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I am content.

I am a first generation immigrant living in the rural south. I have lived here longer than I ever lived in the country where I grew up, but it still doesn't feel like home. I miss my culture. I miss walking in  streets full of people.  I miss city life. I miss the  dry weather, the blue-sunny skies, the ocean, the food, the friends I grew up with, and my family of origin...

at the same time the old country doesn't feel like home anymore either. 

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I live steps to the beach on a beautiful bay, where I am surrounded by palm trees and blue skies. I have healthy children, a happy marriage, good friends, and, although they are a plane ride away, extended family who love me. I live my life in sundresses and flip flops, and have never been happier or more grateful in my life. 

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I’ve lived all over the country. I’ve liked most of those places . . . but I’m a “grow where you’re planted” kind of girl. I was glad to leave my very rural home of origin and NOT raise my kids in the boondocks. I like that they had a childhood where improving their parents’ land wasn’t a key feature. That’s just not a lifestyle that would work for ANY of us. 

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On 5/5/2018 at 7:10 PM, fairfarmhand said:

Might I suggest that for you, it may not just be the "place" but more the revelation of poor boundaries with family and dysfunction? I believe that any place can be home with the right attitude, BUT in your case, it's crazy family stuff making you nuts. That makes the stuff where you came from that much more appealing. You can hang around people that you CHOOSE, who behave in ways that don't drive you bonkers. 

Maybe you need to read the book Boundaries by Dr. Cloud? 

It's okay to move away. My family lives 2 hours away from my dhs family and 3 hours away from my dad. The distance is just about right. Far enough away for us to have our own lives and not be affected by the day to day...quirks...of the family, but close enough to be there in emergencies and to get together at a decent frequency.

So if you truly CAN'T move, then I might focus on building good healthy boundaries, guilt free from all the frustrating aspects of family.

 

No...trust me, I have been able to create boundaries. Being 1500 miles away for ten years helped create them. This truly does have more to do with just feeling like we fit there more than anywhere else. It is a poor county, and doesn't have a lot of appealing things, but it was the only place we have ever been that just felt right. We do our best to make any place we have lived "home", but its just not the same. We have tried...we get involved and reach out, but at the end of the day, we feel pulled back. 

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"At home"?  I guess?  I'm definitely content, but I guess I'm sort of a "wherever you go, there you are" person, as far as locations go.  People is a whole other ball of wax for me.  The biggest factors that might discomfit me are climate and cost of living.  But we've talked about moving to Alaska from Georgia, so... /shrug

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I'm content where we live, mostly. DH's family live near us but we aren't close so that factors zero into consideration for us. Being near friends is a bigger factor--we've lived in the area since 2003, and  DH grew up here, so that's important. However, we remain prepared to pull up stakes if necessary for career reasons. Even though I love my job, no one is on board with moving nearer to it (4 hours away), including me since I would spend so much time driving on the commute, and because cost of living in closer communities is so high. I might eventually look for work closer to home, but I love my job and don't mind my current weekly commute. It's working for us.

My parents never expected or encouraged us to put down roots close to them--they themselves moved far from family, as did their parents before them. They do like to see us from time to time, though, as do my sisters who all still live in the area where we grew up (though one sister has been toying with the idea of moving to the PNW for a few years now).

I could see maybe moving back to my home region if the (career) opportunity arose, but there's really only one job I'd be interested in in that area and there are very few positions for it, so that's not terribly likely. We'd probably move back again eventually.

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I love the general location we're in. I don't ever want to move far from here.  But our current house and ITS location?  Nope.

(I have to say, though, that I am not a huge fan of change.  I could grow to love many other places, I'm sure, but it would be out of necessity.  lol)

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1 hour ago, tbog said:

 

No...trust me, I have been able to create boundaries. Being 1500 miles away for ten years helped create them. This truly does have more to do with just feeling like we fit there more than anywhere else. It is a poor county, and doesn't have a lot of appealing things, but it was the only place we have ever been that just felt right. We do our best to make any place we have lived "home", but its just not the same. We have tried...we get involved and reach out, but at the end of the day, we feel pulled back. 

I see. So it sounds like you moved back mostly for family and then family really didn’t make up for all you were giving up. That’s crappy. 

I get it. I would struggle if we were to move to where our families are, not only because of family dynamics but because we’ve grown in directions that those places couldn’t support. 

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No, not happy. Content, but counting down to when we can move away.  I probably did not seek to "bloom where I was planted", which is obviously drilled into military spouses, but I was always just hoping to somehow cut our tour short here and we never did. But now we are one year from retirement in the military, still in our early 40's, and able to go wherever we want to. (California!!!) 

My parents and his dad are in Florida but we have no interest in moving back there.  

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