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paying for tickets to a stag & hen party?


hornblower
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48 minutes ago, onelittlemonkey said:

What the heck is a stag and hen party?  I'm lost!  

I don’t know what that is either. I’m guessing maybe a bachelor/bachelorette party. Initially I thought it was some sort of backwards dance where the girls are supposed to invite the date (those may be out of fashion these days though). 

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Ok, guys, turns out it's an Eastern Canadian THING.

I'm Canadian but I'm on the west coast & I didn't know any of this. I thought it was just a co-ed bachelor/bachelorette party. But apparently in Ontario & Manitoba, it's a big fundraising thing. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stag_and_doe

"In Canada, an event popular mostly in Manitoba or Ontario under various names to raise money for a couple for their future wedding plans or honeymoon."

NEVER heard of this until someone I know on fb (in Ontario) put up the poster for their kids' do....

 

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Strikes me as very out there. Reminds me of a birthday party (two different ones, actually) which were at a venue and we, guests of the birthday child, had to pay our kid’s way for the event. I’m not down with that. 

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Definitely a thing.  Was a thing here 20 years ago too, though usually called a "stag and doe".   I've been to two of these:  Usually held in a cheap hall (Lions club, Legion etc), with tickets sold for door prizes, cash bar and music.  The intention is to fund raise to pay for wedding expenses.  They are certainly not a universal thing, but are popular in certain demographics.  IME tacky.

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Do some research and get the Instapot if you really want it and put the price of the tickets toward it. This way you are guaranteed the Instapot- at the party you have to be lucky enough to win the prize AND pay for the tickets. Perhaps send a "Congrats" card. :laugh:

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You know what struck me too - this is definitely not a poor family. Bride's parents have fancy house & gardens, multiple trips to sunny resorts each year, new mercedes. Bride finished university a couple years ago, has a public sector unionized job and their contract is public; I know she earns over 60K.  Groom I believe has similar position but more years experience so he'll be earning more than that. 

It seems greedy & yeah,  tacky, to raise funds in these circumstances.   

Anyway - I'm way too far away to even think of going to this thing (though people who can't attend were encourage to send money anyway & we'd be entered in the draw for concert tickets to a big name pop band; um,nope) 
 

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20 hours ago, hornblower said:

Have you ever heard of such a thing? The stag & hen party is a paid event. Guests have to buy tickets & there are door prizes. 

Is this a new thing young couples are doing these days?  Will they charge admission to the wedding reception too? 

I've heard of it here in Ontario, but I never grew up with this in Alberta. It's not a new concept, and not everyone does it. I'm glad I was never invited to one as the concept of charging friends to come and celebrate seems weird. 

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Goodness gracious!  

It seems like we are supposed to open our wallets for every celebration in someone else’s life.  It seems the newest way to wish someone  happy birthday is to make a donation in their name to a charity of their choice.  I keep seeing these requests pop up on Facebook.  They are not having a party, but just requesting that you celebrate their birthday by making a donation.

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I also raised my eyebrows at this. My gut reaction is also that it seems rude. But if it's a cultural thing... I mean, when you're told this is how you do it, this is good manners, then it IS good manners for your region and culture. Manners are simply not universal. Obviously things get a bit dicey if you grew up with doing it one way then move somewhere else and no one does it that way - especially if it's within the same country and you don't realize how regional it is to do it differently.

Of course, that doesn't mean you have to participate, especially if you're not coming from that mindset.

I have very mixed feelings about things like this. In some countries and cultures, this sort of thing is super common across the board. Everyone shells out for everything and then when you have something, everyone shells out for you in return. In the US, this is so not a thing in most areas or for many things. We're so fiercely independent all the time. Even asking for help from parents can be seen as rude. But I think sometimes that people in the cultures that have these expectations that people are more connected and happier. I know this board, so I'm sure someone will have something mildly nasty to say about these observations. And it's weird to me too. But from a sort of cultural perspective, I do wonder sometimes if we've gotten away from this exchange of gifts mindset too far.

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I've heard of it except here it is called a Jack and Jill.  It is basically a gender neutral alternative to a shower and bachelor party and yes often tickets are sold.  Which, I don't see the big deal because people bring gifts to showers and spend money at bachelor parties (often in the form of stuff like raffles).

It's not super super common, but yep I've heard of it. 

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ag

5 hours ago, onelittlemonkey said:

I’m cracking up at this concept.   So, someone wants to get married, *but* they want other people to pay for it??  And to get people to pay for it, they go out and buy concert tickets and other expensive items to entice people to pay?    :blink:

Where’s Ellie??  I hope she sees this! 

 

I don't know.  It seems like the family in this case is well off.  But when I've known of this tradition, it comes from communities where people don't have much extra, and they aren't having lavish weddings.  They may have a lot of guests - extended family and community members.  But it's a way for those people - family, friends -  to support the marriage of young people in their community.

I don't know that it's fundamentally different than some farming communities I know of where the food is all supplied by community members and they bring the things the couple needs to set up a household.  It's been converted to a sort of cash-society format, but that's capitalism for you.  Lots of worthy charity events go out and purchase things like concert tickets, or pay a lot of money for entertainers, in order to raise funds.

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5 hours ago, school17777 said:

Goodness gracious!  

It seems like we are supposed to open our wallets for every celebration in someone else’s life.  It seems the newest way to wish someone  happy birthday is to make a donation in their name to a charity of their choice.  I keep seeing these requests pop up on Facebook.  They are not having a party, but just requesting that you celebrate their birthday by making a donation.

 

Well I guess, but this is instead of a wedding shower and bachelor party.  It's not an additional party. 

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