"Sprinkles" (baby showers for 2nd, 3rd, etc.)

[cintinative]

This is a relatively new concept for me--I have only heard of it in the last few months and have already been invited to two.  Part of what has been weird is that individuals aren't throwing these--it's been a church thing (well, at least sent out from the church women's ministry). I am struggling to know how they will assess who to do these for versus not. We are blessed with many young moms who have multiple children and many who adopt.

Do these exist in your area?

ETA: Updated my post.  I think I confused people by my second comment so I deleted it.  

[Murphy101]

Some people are just as happy to celebrate subsequent children as they were for the first. Join in on that happiness or don’t as you choose. 

[cintinative]

Just now, happysmileylady said:

I have heard of them, but it was my understanding that the reason it’s called a “sprinkle” is that gifts are not expected and the party is just to have a celebration of the baby. I haven’t heard of any that are about giving the mom gifts. 

 

I was told they call them "sprinkles" so we can sprinkle the mom with gifts. =)  Maybe it varies by the area?

[cintinative]

Just now, heartlikealion said:

 

*you* may think to do a gift on the side but not everyone does.

 

good point. I hadn't thought of that.

[VaKim]

I have never even heard of it only being proper to have a shower for the first baby. Where I live, we have always had them for every single baby born. It is a celebration of that particular baby and it doesn't matter how many came before. 

[Frances]

2 minutes ago, cintinative said:

 

I was told they call them "sprinkles" so we can sprinkle the mom with gifts. =)  Maybe it varies by the area?

I’ve never heard of the term “sprinkles” for a baby shower, but maybe it’s meant to contrast with the idea of a “shower” for the first, so likely smaller, less expensive gifts since they might already have most of the big ticket items. Although depending on the age gap, many of the items might still be in use.

Since not everyone knows the gender of their baby before birth and it seems very arbitrary, I would hope they aren’t selecting who gets one based on the gender of the subsequent child. Isn’t the vast majority of baby stuff gender neutral with the exception of certain clothing items? Hopefully they are offering the option to everyone.

It sounds like a fun gathering for those wanting to celebrate with the family and there are lots of very inexpensive books, clothes, and other baby items to give for small gifts. And of course not attending is also perfectly acceptable.

[marbel]

Our church came up with a "policy" for showers. Members get a shower for the first baby born while at the church.  So if a new family joins, their first baby after that gets a party, no matter how many kids they had when they arrived.

In case anyone  wonders why we restrict to members... A few years ago we had a baby boom which included several families who weren't members. All of those families left immediately after their shower. They didn't move away, just moved on to a new church.  Some people felt a little used iykwim. So the women's committee decided that we'd keep it to members. 

There have still been showers for nonmembers but they are hosted by a friend, not the church.

Anyway, I am on team shower because I think every baby and mom deserve a party and some new stuff. I am comfortable giving a very modest gift when necessary. 

[Murphy101]

Honestly I’m a minimalist. Partly due to financial necessity and partly due to clutter control. Lots of stuff is overwhelming to me.

But also, stuff is made like crap. Things often don’t make it to the next kid. Too stained, too worn, wrong season (one baby who wore 3mo is June is not going to have much to offer the sibling in 3mo size in December), broke or if the babies are less than 2/3 years the previous baby might still be using it.

[gardenmom5]

I think babies are born in different seasons - so if you have a girl  in the winter followed by a girl born in the summer, there aren't many clothes that can be reused.

I think even if you were well stocked for baby #1, washing and wash and washing . . . unisex items tends to wear them out, and they need replacing.

I think even if you had a shower to welcome baby #1 - it's nice to have something for baby #_ to welcome that one too.

 

besides - it's an excuse to get together and socialize.

if you're concerned about the cost, can you go in on a gift with someone else?

make something?

I've taken to buying flannel on sale, and making baby blankets.   they're fairly quick too.   sew the squares together with right side facing, turn right side out - and sew about 1/2" in from the edge to finish.   I loved those blankets - and they work for toddlers too.

or burp clothes - which are similar and use a lot less fabric.   I'm going to make some for 2dd too.

I just make them enmass - then pull one out as needed.

[gardenmom5]

50 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

Not exactly. Bassinets, bathtubs, etc. sometimes scream “girly” or “boyish.” 

I would t assume they don’t need big ticket items for second baby. Some don’t have the crib etc for whatever reason. Couldn’t store it, never owned one, safety regulations changed, etc. Car seats expire. 

people move - and if they're not using it right then, they sell it rather than move it.

[gardenmom5]

57 minutes ago, marbel said:

Our church came up with a "policy" for showers. Members get a shower for the first baby born while at the church.  So if a new family joins, their first baby after that gets a party, no matter how many kids they had when they arrived.

In case anyone  wonders why we restrict to members... A few years ago we had a baby boom which included several families who weren't members. All of those families left immediately after their shower. They didn't move away, just moved on to a new church.  Some people felt a little used iykwim. So the women's committee decided that we'd keep it to members. 

There have still been showers for nonmembers but they are hosted by a friend, not the church.

Anyway, I am on team shower because I think every baby and mom deserve a party and some new stuff. I am comfortable giving a very modest gift when necessary. 

I think that's a reasonable rule - but I don't understand people going to a church for any length of time and not being a member of it.

[catz]

I think if it's not your thing and you don't know the families well, it's perfectly fine to decline and do nothing.  I see why it might be a nice little social thing in some church communities.  They'd have one every week at our church, that would never work.   I don't see why gender should matter.  I had a boy and then a girl and used almost everything for my girl.  I had a few dresses and stuff for her, but no I didn't need to color code every single thing she had.  

Showers or sprinkles make absolutely no difference in what I do for a new mother or a bride.  If I don't know you well, I'll probably decline.  If I know you and am excited, you'll get a gift whether you have an event or not.  I never had a shower with either of my babies. My first pregnancy was high risk so I was uncomfortable having a shower while I was pregnant. I would have happily had one after baby was born, but my SIL was only willing to have one before.  I still got a ton of gifts for both kids.  I think I ended up writing over 40 thank you notes after the birth of my 2nd baby.  

[Mbelle]

I have never heard of a sprinkle!   This is the second new idea/party thing I've heard in the past week regarding babies.

Just last week I heard of another new thing or it's new to me.  It's called Sip and See.  People come over and drink wine or whatever and see the baby.   I don't know why but I laughed when I heard about this.  It just seemed like something I would not have thought of.  I did have family come by and visit with me when I had my children, but they seem to coordinate it so they weren't all over at one time and they usually brought some food for us.  I do like wine, so maybe I would have had fun!

[cintinative]

1 hour ago, marbel said:

Our church came up with a "policy" for showers. Members get a shower for the first baby born while at the church.  So if a new family joins, their first baby after that gets a party, no matter how many kids they had when they arrived.

 

I appreciate you sharing this. This is the first year in my 20 some at this church, that the church women's ministry has taken the lead on any showers at all, and this year there have been "some" showers and "sprinkles" but not for every new mom. Previously they would have been hosted by individuals and people were not invited via the church specifically. I don't know if that makes sense. I kind of think we should at least be consistent with ourselves, or it might appear like favoritism. Does that make sense? I tend to overthink.

[marbel]

1 minute ago, cintinative said:

 

I appreciate you sharing this. This is the first year in my 20 some at this church, that the church women's ministry has taken the lead on any showers at all, and this year there have been "some" showers and "sprinkles" but not for every new mom. Previously they would have been hosted by individuals and people were not invited via the church specifically. I don't know if that makes sense. I kind of think we should at least be consistent with ourselves, or it might appear like favoritism. Does that make sense? I tend to overthink.

We have a lot of young families, and new babies seem to come in groups, so we had to come up with a way to be "fair" without making people feel obligated to attend so  many showers (and buy gifts). And though it probably shouldn't, it did sting when people appeared to stick around till they got a shower, then left.   So keeping it to a specific group and giving everyone in that group a "church-sponsored" shower seemed to be the best way to go about it.  

Our women's ministry is specifically tasked with making sure there are baby and wedding showers as needed, though they don't always do the planning, 

I'm not sure you are overthinking it. People do notice stuff like that, and the church of all places should be one where people are not suspecting favoritism or cliques.  I have been in a church that had an "in-group" with the pastor and his wife at the center, and while I know of course that the pastor's family wants (needs) their own friends, and can't be best friends with everyone in the congregation, the difference between the in- and -not-in groups was stark.  It's not quite the same thing as having a policy relating to showers, but similar.

[Heatherwith4]

I’ve had a shower with all 4 of mine.  The first 3 were church showers, and the last one was a family only shower that my sister threw for me.  The boys are 18 mo apart, but they were very different sizes at birth and the seasons didn’t match up, either.  Then of course when DD 8 came along, I didn’t have any girl stuff.  Actually, I’d gotten rid of all my baby stuff.  Of course, I didn’t have anything left when new DD came along.  I was very thankful for every gift we received, but I also didn’t mind a bit if someone didn’t get us something, or if they didn’t come to the shower.  :) 

[happypamama]

They're not a big thing around here that I know of, but I wouldn't be bothered by one.  All babies deserve to be celebrated!  And stuff does wear out; I needed more for my fourth baby than for my second (who was the same season as my first, and most of my newborn stuff is neutral).  I've purchased three infant carseats for my six children.  Pastels get dingy.  Washcloths and diapers wear out (or disposable wipes and diapers are helpful).  Sometimes it's just nice to see something new (says the woman with four boys in a row).  More babies is a great thing IMO!

[Pippen]

Our church usually does showers for first babies for members and attenders.  We don't usually do churchwide showers for subsequent babies but friends might do a smaller casserole shower (or something along those lines) to support the mother. 

[Xahm]

3 hours ago, gardenmom5 said:

I think that's a reasonable rule - but I don't understand people going to a church for any length of time and not being a member of it.

We've been "visiting" a church for a year but aren't members yet because my husband travels a lot for work and often has to work Sunday mornings, and it's just been hard to logistically find a time when he can be there and it isn't some weird day at church (not going to join the last day the old pastor is there, that just looks weird, Christmas Day doesn't work, etc) Hopefully this summer everything will align, but by then it will be nearly 2 years.

[Xahm]

I don't mind showers or sprinkles for any number of babies. Like several people have said, I'll give a present if I was going to anyway. I just wish people didn't try to guilt-trip mothers into having these things. We have an embarrassing amount of stuff from our first two kids (girl and boy). While there are a handful of things we bought for 3 and will buy for 4, we really don't want another opportunity to be given a glut of things that, while nice, we don't need. Telling me "We want to celebrate all babies! They're all special!" is annoying. Yes, I believe they are special, that's why I'm giving them a name and a place in my heart and home. That doesn't mean I need an additional 30 onesies that I have to be grateful for. And I am grateful to have friends that care. I'd just rather they showed caring in a way that didn't involve so much stuff. (Super first-world-problems, I know)

[J-rap]

I haven't heard of sprinkles, and our church doesn't traditionally give showers.  But, I like the idea of a church shower for the first baby.  Personally, I would have felt funny having a shower for subsequent babies if it were me.  Unless I was having twins, I don't think I'd want or need much else.  And, I'll admit, I do sometimes feel uneasy that every kind of event these days seems to be turning into an EVENT with bigger and more elaborate celebrations and often more gifts.  But at the same time, I know that generally there's a spirit of celebration and love behind it, and of course a new baby's life is always worth celebrating.

My last church did always host a bridal shower for an upcoming bride.  I thought that was a very sweet tradition.

[Liz CA]

6 hours ago, VaKim said:

I have never even heard of it only being proper to have a shower for the first baby. Where I live, we have always had them for every single baby born. It is a celebration of that particular baby and it doesn't matter how many came before. 

 

Same here. I think every baby deserves to get some new stuff. And the mom deserves a little pampering.

[marbel]

When I was growing up and into to adulthood, it was considered scandalous to have a shower for any but the first baby. 

Some showers I've been to for 2nd, 3rd, etc. babies have requested certain consumables only, stuff like diapers, wipes, and personal care products, and/or something nice for mom, simply because nothing was needed or particularly wanted. I've also known people who've refused a shower with no problem (or guilt).

[LMD]

6 hours ago, gardenmom5 said:

I think that's a reasonable rule - but I don't understand people going to a church for any length of time and not being a member of it.

 

Oh, lots of reasons.

[HS Mom in NC]

I've never heard of sprinkles in this context and I've been to quite a few baby showers in the last several years.

I've never heard of only giving the first baby a baby shower.  That's so weird. I can't imagine anyone I know suggesting we not celebrate each and every baby.  I have been to diaper showers for moms who have all they need and they have storage space for disposable diapers in lots of sizes.  Sometimes they specify preferred brand and sometimes they don't care. 

I have heard of people asking for baby donations to women's shelters at the shower instead of gifts for their baby when they have enough stuff already.  Usually it's diapers, wipes, bottles and formula.

[SKL]

I had not heard of this, but to me "shower" means you shower them with gifts, so "sprinkle" must mean only those few gifts that make sense given that the family already has lots of baby/kid things.  I would think it's always fine to give a super cute new outfit and a gift card they can use for diapers, baby food, or whatever they need given their lifestyle.

[SKL]

8 hours ago, gardenmom5 said:

I think that's a reasonable rule - but I don't understand people going to a church for any length of time and not being a member of it.

The membership oath which they might not believe in 100% ... avoiding having to volunteer for duties ....

[SKL]

My kids' stuff stood up pretty well, but yeah, most of the clothes were gender specific.  Luckily the next two babies in the family were girls, so my younger sister got all my kids' stuff as they grew out of it.

[SKL]

I remember wondering what to do about my sister's second child, who was born at 26(?) weeks when nobody was expecting her.  She was unable to wear clothes or use anything that wasn't special [tiny] hospital issue.  It was months before we were fairly sure she would survive, and then it was about a year before she was allowed to be in the company of germy people.  I know she didn't really need anything since her older sister had tons of hand-me-downs, but still, I felt bad for my sister that she didn't get the usual welcome that babies get.

[Mergath]

I've heard of sprinkles. I think it's a cute idea for moms who only really need stuff like diapers and maybe a few seasonal outfits.

I had a full-blown shower for my second. With nine years between babies we hadn't held on to any of the baby stuff, plus I never had a shower with my first anyway. We did a virtual shower because my friends are all over the country, so they shipped the gifts here and then I opened them during a video chat with everyone. :)  Someone will have to come up with a name for virtual showers that fits into the whole shower/sprinkle theme.

[ktgrok]

Yup, Sprinkle implies smaller gifts/fewer gifts than a shower. 

I love them. Every baby deserves a party. Moreover, I deserve a party every time I deal with pregnancy, lol. But I love going to baby showers more than any other party. I know I had one with the first, then 10 years later I had a lovely one with my second at a fancy tea place. Then a sprinkle with the third and fourth at my sisters. That last one was a couple's shower with alcohol served, very laid back, ton of fun. 

 

I love baby showers and used all the stuff I got at each one. Diapers, clothes (closet gap was 2 years and that was girl to boy....from girl to girl was 7 year gap and from boy to boy was 13 yr gap), diaper ointment, gripe water, bibs, nursing bras, etc. 

[tori@thehomefront]

Our church doesn’t host showers, but when a baby is born in the congregation, they put a large basket out in the foyer in which people can leave gifts if they desire.  There’s an announcement in the bulletin that Baby Smith was born on this date, to Mr. and Mrs. Smith, and the basket will be in the foyer until X date.  Then the basket is delivered to the family in a few weeks.

[Bluegoat]

It's not common here to see showers after a first baby.  My church doesn't really do them, or wedding showers. The only one I remember was for the church secretary,  who was from away.

My sister threw me a shower for my 4th.  I would not have thought to do it, but it was nice to get a few things as I had given away all of my baby stuff.  It was quite small though.

 

[sassenach]

I just attended a joint sprinkle. It was the first time I had heard of the term but now I see it popping up everywhere. Gifts were not expected but if you did buy them, they were more of the pack of diapers variety. It was fun and beautiful. 

[ScoutTN]

On 4/28/2018 at 1:21 PM, Mbelle said:

I have never heard of a sprinkle!   This is the second new idea/party thing I've heard in the past week regarding babies.

Just last week I heard of another new thing or it's new to me.  It's called Sip and See.  People come over and drink wine or whatever and see the baby.   I don't know why but I laughed when I heard about this.  It just seemed like something I would not have thought of.  I did have family come by and visit with me when I had my children, but they seem to coordinate it so they weren't all over at one time and they usually brought some food for us.  I do like wine, so maybe I would have had fun!

Sip and Sees are common here, though the ones I've attended rarely serve wine. Fun to get to see and hold the baby we are celebrating! 

Our church is too large to do showers for all the babies, but the meals ministry takes 2 or 3 meals to each family with a new baby. Showers/Sip and Sees and more meals come from friends and/or family.