Are your kids picky eaters?

[Garga]

I’m a picky eater and have always been.

Lately, it’s been causing me a little bit of trouble.  My DH has to change his diet for medical reasons.  He is the sort of person where this isn’t too big of a deal.  He likes everything, so switching out our less-nutritious food for more nutritious food is easy for him.

But for me, it’s a little problem.  I want to support him by eating the same things he eats, but I am starting to go hungry at dinner because I just can’t eat the food that is there.  I find myself searching out the remaining bits of junk food in the house and eating them all evening because I just don’t like the new recipes we’re using.  

Today, my son ate a chewable vitamin.  I wanted to eat one too, and did.  It was very sour to me and my face reflected that (like biting into a lemon.). He giggled at me and said, “Is that sour to you?  That’s not sour at all!”  To me, it was very, very sour and was painful to eat.

This happens to me a lot.  Foods that other people like are just completely overwhelming to me.  It’s like when I was pregnant and my sense of smell was so strong that I would get nauseated from smelling things like shampoo.  Strong flavored foods like bacon and coffee completely overwhelm my taste buds and it’s almost a sensation of pain.  I eat a very bland diet.

I googled and found this article (posted below).  It talks about how some people are genetically “super tasters.”  Everything tastes stronger to them.  Some super tasters are like me and find the sensation of strong tastes to be uncomfortable.  Oftentimes, I feel like many flavors are painful.  I don’t tell people that because it’s sounds dramatic, but it’s true.

Other super tasters enjoy the shock of the strong flavor and they’ll eat all sorts of foods just to get that jolt.  

Anyway...people often are confused or frustrated with their picky eating children.  Sometimes kids are being picky, but with a little prompting they learn to like new foods. And sometimes kids are picky because it actually hurts to eat the new food. If you think you have a super taster, show them mercy!  My childhood was filled with battles at the dinner table and it caused a lot of frustration and tension in my house until I turned 16 and got a job and a car and would eat out most nights to avoid the battle.

(And talking about textures is for another thread!  Some textures will make my stomach heave and has nothing to do with the taste at all.  That’s for another day.)

Article about super tasters: https://www.thecut.com/article/picky-eater-you-might-be-a-supertaster.html

 

 

[three4me]

My middle child is my pickiest eater, but he’s mostly picky about fruits. Citrus, pears, peaches, pineapple, and things like that he won’t touch. I’m not sure if it’s a flavor or texture thing. But offer the kid some tomatoes and he’s happy as a clam. I can’t figure him out!

[Bluegoat]

One is more than the others, and the youngest will try almost anything and enjoy it.  But I'd not call any really picky.  They seem to prefer strong tasting foods.

Though, I tried to feed them fish paste recently, and that wasn't a hit.

I do think it's possible to retrain your tastebuds to some extent.  Especially of kids.  It helps though to be a good cook, in a technical sense, or have enough $$ to borrow the skills of one.

[Wheres Toto]

My son is extremely picky but he's also an Aspie and has SPD.   We mainly just give him what he is able/willing to eat.  He doesn't seem to be a super taster but he is extremely sensitive to textures in his foods.

My oldest isn't too bad but won't eat mushrooms, tomatoes or bananas.

Youngest eats just about everything.  Loves steak, lobster, seafood, fish and many other things kids traditionally don't like.  

I can no longer eat pepper or spicy foods, and vitamin C tastes super sour to me.  From reading I've done, I think I may actually be allergic to pepper.  

[kitten18]

No, I won the parenting lottery in that category.  I can’t take credit, they came this way. Since they’re open to it though, I’ve tried to expose them to a lot of different foods.  

[Garga]

11 minutes ago, Margaret in CO said:

Nope, no pickiness here. I didn't know until dd was 18 that she doesn't like mushrooms! I cook it; you eat it. Dh doesn't care for garbanzo beans. That's it. However, if I made them, he'd eat them, just not have seconds. My non-mushroom-preferring kid commented about the cafeteria fare the other day, "The other Cadets complain about the food. It's just food. You eat it. You go accomplish something."

This is my dh.  At first he was upset when he learned he’d have to dramatically change what he eats.  But then I pointed out to him that he loves everything (except brussel sprouts.).  He quickly discovered that no matter what changes we make to his diet, he’s happy with them.  So, he’s eating healthier than ever and barely even missing the old stuff.  

He often will make some sort of recipe and ask me to try it.  I hate it when he does that because 9 times out of 10, it will cause me actual pain to eat it (or my gag reflex kicks in) and he looks confused and sad. He wants to share something good with me, but it’s not good to me.  He’s polite, but I can tell he doesn’t understand.  He has no frame of reference, because all food is good to him and he can’t understand why I don’t like all these good things.

I hate being this way.  I wish, wish, wish I had the luxury of saying, “It’s just food.  You eat it.”  Life would be so much easier that way.  

[MaeFlowers]

My older dc isn't picky at all. I could probably count on one hand the things he doesn't like. The younger one is the exact opposite. She is incredibly picky. It's so hard. I worry about her diet because she eats so little variety. 

I have to admit that reading the threads on here about picky eaters helped me quite a bit with her. While I have always understood that taste isn't something you chose, I needed to be reminded to have some patience. She is willing to at least try and her acceptable foods list is growing. 

[Kassia]

I am the picky eater in our family.  Three of my four kids were picky when they were little - my dd was the worst - but they are all great eaters now!  Much better than I am.  

[happypamama]

None of mine are especially picky, but neither are DH or I. We all have some things we don’t like. One kiddo is somewhat sensitive about textures but is willing to give most things a try. I am particular about meat or chicken if it has a sauce and I didn’t prepare it myself because I can’t stand fat or gristle, and so I like to see the meat (which is why I almost never order anything like that at restaurants — I go for pasta or seafood most of the time).  Ground meat doesn’t bother me though.  DH has a handful of veggies he doesn’t like. The little guys may or may not eat something on any given day, but I can’t really think of things they hate. All of us tend to like strong flavors like olives, spices (well, the kiddos don’t really like food that qualifies as spicy), etc. 

 

Why?  I’d love to say that it’s because of something we did right, but honestly, I think it’s luck. Maybe genetic?  DH and I both enjoy trying new foods and flavors, and going to restaurants has always been part of our relationship. So I guess it makes sense that maybe we’d have kids who generally like new foods too?  Like, for some couples, music, playing music together, attending concerts, listening to music together, etc. is a big part of their relationship, so it makes sense that their kids would have a natural inclination toward music too?  Kids tend to amplify parental traits, especially if both parents share the trait. 

And honestly, my kiddos, like DH and myself, have huge sweet teeth, all of them. So there’s that LOL. I don’t think any of us are really super tasters though — I can definitely see why that would lead to a more discerning eater. (Picky sounds so negative — it isn’t a moral failing.)

 

[medawyn]

My DH is a super taster, and it’s hard for me.  I love cooking and trying a wide variety of recipes, and I miss having a partner in exploring foods.  But I try to respect his food boundaries, because like you, the experience of tasting some things is painful.  Right now it appears my kids are normally picky for their ages and stages, but none appear to be super tasters.  

[Pawz4me]

None of us are picky now, but DS19 was as a toddler/preschooler. He's on the spectrum and had major sensory issues with some food textures when he was young. I've never seen any sense whatsoever in forcing a child to eat something they dislike, but in hindsight I'm especially thankfully that I never did that. I would have felt like I'd committed child abuse (and I don't say that lightly).

As far as super tasters -- I don't think I am one, but I do know I hated almost all veggies as a child but developed a puffy heart love of all things veggie as a young adult. What tasted vile to me as a child tasted good years later. Tastes change. And my own experience there is another reason I'd never force a child to eat something they didn't like.

[SKL]

One of my kids has a hard time eating most things.  Luckily she does like some easy options like pizza (provided the toppings are acceptable).

She tends to like strong flavors, but not all the time.  It's hard to pin down a pattern with her.  When she was little, she would even eat lemons just like they were oranges.  But sometimes she complains about strong smells and flavors. 

Mostly I don't try to feed her, as it's impossible to predict what she'll eat.  She knows her way around the kitchen.  (Someday she will write a book about how her mom was so neglectful she had to get her own meals ....)

[Selkie]

I have one kid that has never liked meat, eggs, or dairy, but we eat plant-based so her dislike of those foods is not an issue.

Other than that, my kids are pretty adventurous eaters. Since they were little, they've been used to eating all kinds of different cuisines, a huge array of vegetables and fruits, etc. and have never really been picky about anything. Dh and I are the same way, so it is probably genetic.

[Kassia]

32 minutes ago, Pawz4me said:

None of us are picky now, but DS19 was as a toddler/preschooler. He's on the spectrum and had major sensory issues with some food textures when he was young. I've never seen any sense whatsoever in forcing a child to eat something they dislike, but in hindsight I'm especially thankfully that I never did that. I would have felt like I'd committed child abuse (and I don't say that lightly).

As far as super tasters -- I don't think I am one, but I do know I hated almost all veggies as a child but developed a puffy heart love of all things veggie as a young adult. What tasted vile to me as a child tasted good years later. Tastes change. And my own experience there is another reason I'd never force a child to eat something they didn't like.

 

My mother forced me to eat foods I didn't like and then she'd get angry at me when I involuntarily gagged.  It was awful. 

I still hate vegetables even as an adult.  My kids didn't like them when they were little but they are all big vegetable eaters now and they all eat very healthy.  They've helped me clean up my diet as well, but I still can't eat most veggies.  I never made them eat foods they didn't want.  

[Arcadia]

My kids enjoyed NOVA The Science of Picky Eaters 

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/body/science-picky-eaters.html

My husband is the only non super taster.  DS12 and I have a bad gag reflex that we gag even on food we like.  I was infamous for puking almost daily in kindergarten but everyone was really kind to me. Puking was something that people could easily understand I guess since many of my kindergarten classmates get carsick on the school bus. 

DS12 leans sensory seeking when it comes to food while DS13 just sounds like a food taster of the quality control kind. Luckily as they grow older they could tolerate whatever food they couldn’t eat better,  enough to take polite bites. 

My parents and relatives have all been short order cooks for me and that has really helped.  It was awful enough to gag on yummy food that it would be worse if I was scolded/criticized for my limited choices. My relatives are mostly supertasters too and good cooks so that helps. 

[rebcoola]

I am pretty picky about texture and taste and I really wish I wasn't.  Both my kids are a little picky but not terrible and both like things I wont touch.

[regentrude]

I have one child who is an adventurous eater and another one who is very picky. He is a supertaster and vegetables just taste bitter to him. We always chose not to make food a battle, and he has been able to broaden his repertoire of food over the years.

[Mbelle]

My kids are not picky eaters, but I have some family member children who are.  They really can not help it.

[Frances]

I was a picky eater into young adulthood, but definitely don’t think it was due to being a super taster or having extreme texture issues. I think I was picky for the more common reason that if you eat sugar, simple carbs, high fat, salty, processed food, other healthier food just isn’t as appealing. My mom generally cooked health meals from scratch. But between always having lots of homemade sweets around, school lunches, snacks purchased with my own money, and special meals or treats out, it was very easy to fill up on my preferred foods and not really branch out and try new things or have healthy foods constitute the majority of my diet.

My husband’s family teased me quite a bit about my pickiness and along with the desire to eat a more healthy diet, I eventually greatly expanded my diet in my 20s and now will eat almost anything.

Edited to add that I was very fortunate to have a child that is an extremely adventuresome eater and to this day, is thankful every time food is prepared for him. He only limits his diet by things he considers unhealthy like sugar, junk food, simple carbs, etc.

[Sherry in OH]

Yes.  Oldest ds is a super-taster with a strong gag reflex. He was a good eater until he was three.  Then he became very picky and would either refuse foods he didn't want or vomit.  Given a choice he would live on bread and cheese.  He eats a few fruits and vegetables and no meat.  He will eat sweets but doesn't really crave them.  He loves salt. He drinks water, milk, and very occasionally hot chocolate, nothing else.

Younger ds is an adventuresome eater, although a vegetarian one. He loves spicy foods and sweets.  He will eat most vegetables and fruits.  Other than bananas, the only foods he claims to dislike are the ones his brother likes.  Partly because he doesn't want bland food unless he can put hot sauce on it and partly to be contrary.  He is the same with drinks.  Given a choice he will choose anything other than water or milk.

 

 

[HomeAgain]

I have a backwards picky eater.  Just about any food that you would think of as "typical American kid food" he will not touch.  It's not for lack of trying on our part but he just won't go for it.  I would love for him to eat a sandwich one day.  Or not be horrified that Goldfish crackers have faces (no Teddy Grahams either here).

[Ali in OR]

I was/am a picky eater--not as bad now as when I was a kid. I think I'm a super taster because of the foods/drinks I don't like. Anything related to broccoli is horrible to me. I don't like coffee and I don't really drink alcoholic drinks because most don't taste good to me. There is so much social reward for adults to drink coffee or alcohol--it has to taste pretty bad to a person to forego that acceptance.

My youngest is much worse than me. I know she's a super taster and she has texture issues too. She will try to articulate exactly what is objectionable about the foods she won't eat.  She won't eat vegetables or even that many fruits (apples, strawberries, pineapple, watermelon, and grapes are okay. All citrus, bananas, blueberries, other melon, peaches, plums are out). She is very difficult to feed on the road--most fast food is out. She is a carnivore and eats bread products. And she's expensive with that meat-eating habit. When the rest of us order tacos or burritos at our Mexican place, she only eats the carne asada steak with flour tortillas--no rice, no beans, hold the onions and veggies. I will be glad when it is someone else's job to feed her.

[Loowit]

All of them went through phases of being more picky, but only youngest is really what people would call a picky eater.  My middle avoids tomatoes and anything made with tomato but otherwise has a pretty broad range of foods he eats.  DD will try pretty much anything.  She is currently taking a class that explores art in other countries and in their explorations they also try foods from new country each week. Some she likes and others not so much, but she tries them and has found it to be a really fun experience.

Youngest has a very small range of foods he will eat and it has gotten much smaller in the last year, not helped by food allergies and dairy sensitivity.  I have no idea if he is a super taster or not, but he does have texture aversions.  He has some food he likes the flavor of but the texture makes him gag.  He is willing to try things, but it hasn't helped to broadened what he can/will eat much, if at all.

[nixpix5]

Right there with you. I have always been a picky eater. When people put different components together and taste it as one I cannot do that. I strongly taste each individual flavor separately. I cannot have more than 3 flavors together. I cannot do many textures. I wouldn't dream of using most condiments and I cannot eat veggies on a burger for example because too many tastes and terrible competing textures. For me it is bad. When I was a kid and got a burrito from Taco Bell it had to be only beans and cheese. I could literally smell if a piece of stray lettuce was in there somewhere and would open the burrito to hunt it down and pull it out. I would then need to cut off that part of the burrito because of the flavor left behind in the beans. 

I have one child out of 5 who is exactly like me....possibly worse. We watched a dog behavior documentary and it talked about dogs being able to separate tastes and my son and I had an "Ah ha" moment since we also both have super hearing like a dog. We are pretty sure we are part canine ;) 

[Bluegoat]

12 minutes ago, nixpix5 said:

Right there with you. I have always been a picky eater. When people put different components together and taste it as one I cannot do that. I strongly taste each individual flavor separately. I cannot have more than 3 flavors together. I cannot do many textures. I wouldn't dream of using most condiments and I cannot eat veggies on a burger for example because too many tastes and terrible competing textures. For me it is bad. When I was a kid and got a burrito from Taco Bell it had to be only beans and cheese. I could literally smell if a piece of stray lettuce was in there somewhere and would open the burrito to hunt it down and pull it out. I would then need to cut off that part of the burrito because of the flavor left behind in the beans. 

I have one child out of 5 who is exactly like me....possibly worse. We watched a dog behavior documentary and it talked about dogs being able to separate tastes and my son and I had an "Ah ha" moment since we also both have super hearing like a dog. We are pretty sure we are part canine ;) 

 

Something I've wondered about this picky eater business.  I fully accept that for many people it is something they don't control.  But I wonder how it plays out when people live in situations where there simply isn't the choice we have.  Either their available foods are only a few, the same all the time.  Or where the amounts are small and so people need to eat whatever is available to get enough to eat.  Presumably these elements of tasting things a certain way, or reactions to certain textures, are largely going to be the same?  But I can't say that I have heard much about people being unable to eat the available food in these kinds of situations.   And what about animals, too - it seems likely to me that this might not be something that is just a human phenomena.  I know some animals are more careful about what they eat than others and that has certain advantages and disadvantages, but how far does it go when there is limited availability?  

[nixpix5]

26 minutes ago, Bluegoat said:

 

Something I've wondered about this picky eater business.  I fully accept that for many people it is something they don't control.  But I wonder how it plays out when people live in situations where there simply isn't the choice we have.  Either their available foods are only a few, the same all the time.  Or where the amounts are small and so people need to eat whatever is available to get enough to eat.  Presumably these elements of tasting things a certain way, or reactions to certain textures, are largely going to be the same?  But I can't say that I have heard much about people being unable to eat the available food in these kinds of situations.   And what about animals, too - it seems likely to me that this might not be something that is just a human phenomena.  I know some animals are more careful about what they eat than others and that has certain advantages and disadvantages, but how far does it go when there is limited availability?  

It is because if this exact curiosity myself that when I became an adult and knew I had to eat like a grown up that I started forcing my tastebuds to tolerate things. I would decide a food I wanted to be able to eat and I would make it every week and would force myself to eat it every week. I would skip meals that day to be maximally hungry. I would gag at first and feel woozy but eventually I could get myself there. I didn't like many vegetables which was why I felt I needed to put this to the test. Now some of those foods I couldn't eat I now actually love. I still can only tolerate 3 to 4 max flavors at once (seasonings are fine). I still struggle with competing textures. Even if I like all of the components separately I cannot so them combined. I can live with that. 

[Bluegoat]

2 hours ago, nixpix5 said:

It is because if this exact curiosity myself that when I became an adult and knew I had to eat like a grown up that I started forcing my tastebuds to tolerate things. I would decide a food I wanted to be able to eat and I would make it every week and would force myself to eat it every week. I would skip meals that day to be maximally hungry. I would gag at first and feel woozy but eventually I could get myself there. I didn't like many vegetables which was why I felt I needed to put this to the test. Now some of those foods I couldn't eat I now actually love. I still can only tolerate 3 to 4 max flavors at once (seasonings are fine). I still struggle with competing textures. Even if I like all of the components separately I cannot so them combined. I can live with that. 

 

Oh, that's interesting.

I've watched and read a few things about the school lunch program in France, and it struck me as being very ideal for producing kids who were willing to eat a fair number of foods, along similar lines.  Not that they forced the kids to eat, but they would serve the same foods regularly but in different formats and combinations and textures, and work hard to get the kids to taste everything.  

I didn't like foods mixed much for a long time - I could eat them, but I really preferred to taste things separately.  I still prefer simple sets of things much of the time - when there are too many things, it seems like they don't quite meld together.  I've wondered if it's actually really difficult to cook well with a lot of different flavours, so most don't manage it.

[Bluegoat]

2 hours ago, happysmileylady said:

Honestly, my kids would have died. DS5 was in the hospital as a baby for failure to thrive.  I was BFing at the time and there were other issues, but I genuinely believe they would have been labeled as “sickly” and ultimately died of starvation or complications of poor nutrition.  

 

Yeah, I'm sure there are some that might just have had real problems.  I don't think that is super common though.

[gardenmom5]

I have kids who will eat almost anything, and picky eaters.  (as adults they're still sort of picky) - and one who could give picky eaters lessons

[MistyMountain]

I actually did the thing with seeing if you are a super taster by counting taste buds for one of my kid's science fair projects. We dyed tongues and used this little ring then did a questionnaire that asked if they were picky or liked spicy food. I was a super taster according to the taste buds and I was very picky as a kid. I actually like things spicy or flavored though and do not find things that are very mild spicy at all like some people. There are a lot of tastes I do not  like though like coffee, beer, wine and lots of vegetables etc. My mom cannot handle things with much flavor and prefers things very bland so that is how she cooked while I was growing up which contrasted with me as a child who much prefers flavor and spice. A lot of the super tasters we tested did end up picky and more did not like spicy food but there were exceptions on both sides. 

[Kassia]

11 hours ago, happysmileylady said:

 

 

not to mention, feeding five people something different for EVERY SINGLE MEAL, every single day, it gets exhausting.  

 

This is what I deal with, but not as much now that my older kids are grown and out of the house. I'm the only picky one, but my older three eat carefully (one is vegan, the other two are constantly trying to bulk up and want lots of meat/carbs/veggies).  I am picky and try to eat lighter.  We don't have any meals that all of us will eat.  Last night we did have whole wheat pasta and that worked.  Used sauce with no meat, and added frozen meatballs for those who wanted them.  

[LMD]

Not really. I have one with more sensory stuff and he's my pickiest. He will gag at some smells, hates banana and tomato sauce, and really only likes eggs fried. He'll still usually be able eat a little of most things.

He just baked a blueberry ripple cheesecake! He loves berries.