Menu
Jump to content

What's with the ads?

PrincessMommy

Question for Romance book readers

Recommended Posts

and writers, since I know we have one :)

My dh was watching Romancing the Stone  the other day and he noted that it is incredibly sexist (ya don't say??..).  It got him wondering how the romance genre must has changed along with our changed sensibilities.  I read all of 3 romance novels back when I was about 14.   Back then it was basically falling in love with your captor type stuff.  It was usually the dark and brooding bad guy (remember only 3 novels at 14yrs old, so I'm pretty limited in my knowledge). 

I can't even watch long ago enjoyed tv shows (like *MASH*) because it is so sexist.  I used to love Frasier, I rewatched the series as recently as 3-4yrs ago.  I tried watching it last month and now Niles creeps me out.  Funny how we change.  I know we talked about older popular shows a good 6months ago.  But, I'm wondering about romance novels. 

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I compartmentalize for trashy fiction.  That’s why it’s fiction - in real life half of these men would be creepers with restraining orders and the women would be what is colloquially termed “a hot mess”.

 

But it sure is fun to play with; like paper dolls for adults ;)

  • Like 2
  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm a feminist, a romance reader and a member of Romance Writers of America. 

Romance, as all genres, has evolved. 

One thing has stayed the same - the central premise that love conquers all.   Another key premise is actually about centering the woman's experience. The 'hot and sexy' books are all about the woman's needs.  These women are not just there thinking of England, they're enjoying it.   

And with the developments in publishing, the genre itself is very fragmented. There are modern, historical, clean, Christian, sexy, suspense, raunchy, etc subgenres. You can find anything you like.  There still exist the traditional 'brooding alpha male' type of books  - but that's not everything.  Lots of authors & readers prefer betas or alpha males crossing paths with alpha females and watching the sparks fly. 

One booklist you might want to check out is https://bookriot.com/2017/12/12/feminist-romance-novels-from-romancenovelsforhillary/ 
(& the twitter hashtag romancenovelsforhillary ) 


And also yes- it's also ok for people to compartmentalize and appreciate and enjoy things which are not representative of real life. Just like zombies or serial murderers might be entertaining ....

  • Like 12

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, what people are attracted to isn't politically correct.  And there's some degree of life experience there as well. I used to love romance novels. I was attracted to the hyper-masculine alpha male military special forces thing... until I was involved with one in real life. It took a while to figure out that the same things that make a man attractive are also the things that can make him terrible in relationships, and a terrible father. People who are that high achieving are often hyper-critical of themselves and everyone else in their lives. Anyway, I loved romance novels until I left that relationship. Then suddenly I wanted something completely different...  A man who loved me as I am and who supported what I wanted to do in life.  Then I found DH.

In novels it can't work that way.  The fantasy is that when you land the alpha male he'll love you so much his love for you will change him, and he'll suddenly be kind and supportive and more perfect for you than you could imagine. Real life doesn't work that way. 

I still love Romancing the Stone though.  I think the sexism in it is partially cultural and partially due to that it was filmed in the mid 1980's.  The whole world was much more sexist then.

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Romance is a feminist genre :)

It's for women, by women, and about women. It's such an incredible world, honestly. Even my editors are women :)

This movie is EXCELLENT and dives into those issues, and honestly even if a person didn't like books at all it's a fun watch just for the "women helping women" vibe it has. I highly recommend it. https://www.netflix.com/title/80061315

This article deals with the issue as well, but warning, the source has rude language https://www.bitchmedia.org/article/the-case-for-romance-authors

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Katy said:

 

In novels it can't work that way.  The fantasy is that when you land the alpha male he'll love you so much his love for you will change him, and he'll suddenly be kind and supportive and more perfect for you than you could imagine. Real life doesn't work that way. 

I still love Romancing the Stone though.  I think the sexism in it is partially cultural and partially due to that it was filmed in the mid 1980's.  The whole world was much more sexist then.

Well yeah....if the guy starts out perfect and the woman is perfect and they have a perfect relationship there is no story, lol. I know, because I always want to write it like that but the tdoesn't work. You have to have growth or there is no book. But you are seeing more books now where the alpha guy actually isn't so gruff...you find out he's secretly spending his evenings playing cards with the elderly lady next store or he cares for his niece or whatever. And all men in romance novels know how to cook..at least eggs. I swear most books the guy cooks the girl eggs at some point in the story, lol. 

But I do get what you mean, and I try to stay away from characters where there is a co-dependent relationship due to my own history in the real life version. 

  • Like 2
  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is why I mostly like Georgette Heyer.  Even though some of her books have pretty traditional roles there's a whole lot of them that have characters that go right against the expectations.  

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not a huge romance reader, but I dip my toes in every once in awhile. My experience is that a lot of romance novels are less problematic than a lot of movie romcoms. Not always, obviously.

I think some of the things that we're evolving to have be part of the conversation are getting worked in. I mean, enthusiastic consent can be super sexy.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 4/17/2018 at 6:41 PM, Ktgrok said:

Well yeah....if the guy starts out perfect and the woman is perfect and they have a perfect relationship there is no story, lol. I know, because I always want to write it like that but the tdoesn't work. You have to have growth or there is no book. But you are seeing more books now where the alpha guy actually isn't so gruff...you find out he's secretly spending his evenings playing cards with the elderly lady next store or he cares for his niece or whatever. And all men in romance novels know how to cook..at least eggs. I swear most books the guy cooks the girl eggs at some point in the story, lol. 

But I do get what you mean, and I try to stay away from characters where there is a co-dependent relationship due to my own history in the real life version. 

 

oh this is so funny.  I'm taken back to my childhood and women on TV who complained about their husbands not being romantic enough in the bedroom.  Now,, it must be that they can't cook for her.  I know I'd *love* it if my dh would cook something other than eggs and take-out pizza for me. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 4/17/2018 at 12:09 PM, hornblower said:



One booklist you might want to check out is https://bookriot.com/2017/12/12/feminist-romance-novels-from-romancenovelsforhillary/ 
(& the twitter hashtag romancenovelsforhillary ) 

 

Thank you for posting this!  It had some names I’m familiar with, and many that are new to me which I look forward to checking out. 

On 4/17/2018 at 4:29 PM, Ktgrok said:

Romance is a feminist genre :)

It's for women, by women, and about women. It's such an incredible world, honestly. Even my editors are women :)

This movie is EXCELLENT and dives into those issues, and honestly even if a person didn't like books at all it's a fun watch just for the "women helping women" vibe it has. I highly recommend it. https://www.netflix.com/title/80061315

This article deals with the issue as well, but warning, the source has rude language https://www.bitchmedia.org/article/the-case-for-romance-authors

And thank you for posting this - I watched that documentary last night and I enjoyed it so much!  Awhile back I was reading an opinion piece somewhere about how a well-written and insightful article in a magazine for teen girls had been met with utter astonishment because people couldn’t believe that such a frivolous magazine had effectively written such a serious piece. And the point of the editorial was that simply by virtue of the fact that the magazine is aimed at teen girls, it was prejudged and dismissed as “frivolous”. Things that women and girls are interested in are viewed as less important, less serious, less valid than the things that men and boys are interested in.  And that made me realize that I had been avoiding romance because it’s “frivolous” even though deep down I wanted to read it!  So I’ve been reading it ever since, and I love it, love it, love it!. (Coincidentally, I’m reading one of your books right now! :D )

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
54 minutes ago, Greta said:

Thank you for posting this!  It had some names I’m familiar with, and many that are new to me which I look forward to checking out. 

And thank you for posting this - I watched that documentary last night and I enjoyed it so much!  Awhile back I was reading an opinion piece somewhere about how a well-written and insightful article in a magazine for teen girls had been met with utter astonishment because people couldn’t believe that such a frivolous magazine had effectively written such a serious piece. And the point of the editorial was that simply by virtue of the fact that the magazine is aimed at teen girls, it was prejudged and dismissed as “frivolous”. Things that women and girls are interested in are viewed as less important, less serious, less valid than the things that men and boys are interested in.  And that made me realize that I had been avoiding romance because it’s “frivolous” even though deep down I wanted to read it!  So I’ve been reading it ever since, and I love it, love it, love it!. (Coincidentally, I’m reading one of your books right now! :D )

I'm so glad you liked the movie! I loved it, and yes, so often people equate for women with less important. And yay, hope you like the book :)

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Ktgrok said:

I'm so glad you liked the movie! I loved it, and yes, so often people equate for women with less important. And yay, hope you like the book :)

I am very much enjoying the book - you’re a good writer!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...