Feedback for DD's narrative

[Porridge]

We are using Memoria Press's Classical Composition, Narrative. DD had to rewrite / paraphrase a story.

I don't have any reference points, and I'd appreciate any feedback on how I can coach and encourage DD9. I feel like writing instruction is often subjective, and I'd love advice on coaching her with actionable suggestions.

-------- edited to remove DD's story, for her privacy. thank you for your feedback!

 

[Kuovonne]

This is an amazing piece of writing for a 9 year old, especially if she typed it herself. The mechanics (spelling, capitalization, punctuation, etc.) are great. The phrasing is also much more mature than I would expect from a 9 year old, or even someone much older. How much of the composition is her original work, versus her copying the original?

[Porridge]

She typed it herself. She missed a few closing quotation marks that I pointed out for her to correct. It is her own work. The curriculum has the child outline the original piece, then write from the outline.  They have you take turns narrating, if it were a classroom. Since we don’t have other kids doing this, I take turns narrating with her, so she probably picks up some phrasing from me. There were pieces earlier where she definitely incorporated phrases she heard me use in my oral narration.  But I chose this piece because it was hers.

Any suggestions for coaching or further development?

[PeterPan]

It's adorable, nicely done. Rather than thinking in terms of coaching or further development, with a child that precocious, you might think in terms of ways to *challenge* her. For instance, she did a straight telling. Could she tell it but change the time period? Could she add a character? Could she add some description of the scene/location? Just make it fun and playful additions/enhancements.

As you're seeing, for a dc who is language-gifted, she's going to sound like what she's reading. You'll just continue to challenge her with analyzing excellent writing, with stretching to try new things. At some point she'll be ready to do WWS, and it will push that too. I'm not saying rush there, just that when she's ready it will come together and make her an excellent writer. My dd was like that, a language natural. Writing Tales 2 had a lot of those creative addition challenges, and it prepares them well for WWS.

Good job nurturing your budding communicator! :)

[Porridge]

3 hours ago, PeterPan said:

It's adorable, nicely done. Rather than thinking in terms of coaching or further development, with a child that precocious, you might think in terms of ways to *challenge* her. For instance, she did a straight telling. Could she tell it but change the time period? Could she add a character? Could she add some description of the scene/location? Just make it fun and playful additions/enhancements.

As you're seeing, for a dc who is language-gifted, she's going to sound like what she's reading. You'll just continue to challenge her with analyzing excellent writing, with stretching to try new things. At some point she'll be ready to do WWS, and it will push that too. I'm not saying rush there, just that when she's ready it will come together and make her an excellent writer. My dd was like that, a language natural. Writing Tales 2 had a lot of those creative addition challenges, and it prepares them well for WWS.

Good job nurturing your budding communicator! :)

Thank you Peter Pan, your advice is super helpful, exactly what I needed. I think DD would be challenged and have fun with your suggestions. We'll incorporate them moving forward.

[Kuovonne]

You can also see how she does with expository writing versus writing stories. Sometimes students who are great at writing stories struggle with expository writing. (And some don’t.)