Delayed academics

[Jen654321]

So I got a little excited about the whole homeschool thing for my newly turned 4 year old and decided I needed to start "teaching" him right away. I started a "table time" each day where we do a lesson from ordinary parents guide to reading, then a lesson from preschool math at home, followed by rod and staff workbooks and a simple craft or science project. My almost 3 year old has been tagging along with us for it too. Anyways the kids absolutely love it and drag the basket out every day begging to learn a new letter. I never force them to sit down at the table or anything and if their not interested in something  I just move on, but that pretty much never happens. At the same time my 4 year old totally isn't picking up on the lessons from ordinary parents guide (were still working through the letters). My almost 3 year old is actually picking up letter sounds better than him I think. But now that I've done a bit more research and read a couple books I keep seeing that it's recommended to hold off academics until age 6 or first grade. It seems to be an across the board reccomendation for all the major theories on education. So now I'm totally panicked that I've started things too fast and am going to mess my kids up! I've tried to stop what I've been doing but my kids keep begging for their workbooks. Like my four year old was in tears when I tried to just do craft instead of bringing out his table time basket.  So now I'm at a loss as what to do?? Is it really that bad to start academics early? I read a book on waldorf that goes so far as to say you will mess up your child's physical development like their body and organs and everything if you start academics before first grade.... 

[Susan in TX]

There is nothing wrong with early academics if the child is ready for it. If your kids are enjoying it that is a good sign. What one wants to avoid is pushing academic learning on a child who isn't ready. 

Susan in TX

[HomeAgain]

I think some of what is woven into the Waldorf philosophy isn't sound science.  It's simply the other side of the coin of pushing all kids to do things too early. Children aren't lock-step robots.  Each is an individual and should be treated as such.

 

I have had a rule in my home that I will never tell a child no, and I will always have things available.  That doesn't mean we keep going when something isn't working, though.  There are a lot of different things a child can learn and you can substitute activities as needed.  And there's a whole world out there beyond the three Rs and crafts, not to mention an entire set of skills woven in each one:

sound discrimination: learning to play with music, tempo, hidden bells or tools and guessing what is making the sound (small margarine tubs are great for this), nursery rhymes

visual discrimination: learning to see art, play with color/texture, looking at things upside down or like ants and giants

fine motor skills: chopsticks, tweezers, eye droppers, paintbrushes, sticks, knitting needles (or a knitting spool), lacing, sewing, hammering, using a screwdriver, puzzles..

narration: imaginative play, art play, puppetry, using voices..

 

These are all things you can weave into table time.  There are tools to help (I like the organization of Developing The Early Learner, BambinoLuk, and Wee Folk Art), but it's enough often to just pick something and go with it.  We did nursery rhymes and folk tales one year.  The folk tales were all the repetitive kind (Little Red Hen, Three Pigs, Billy Goats Gruff), which made them easy to play with and retell over and over again.  I never drop something without offering another thing in its place, you know?  Otherwise there's a hole and it's felt, but moving to something different is just another step.

[carriede]

My 8 and 6 year olds both learned to read when they were 4. My current 4 year old is NOT ready.

I think what you're doing now is fine. The key is not to push, which you seems to understand. And, on days when you don't have time for everything, consider putting the non-academic things first (read alouds and playing outside) even if the kids are begging for a lesson. 

[medawyn]

First and foremost - and take this with a grain of salt, because my oldest just turned five - I think it's really hard for loving, well-intentioned parents to totally screw up their kids.  You are going to make many mistakes along the way, but kids are flexible and adaptable.

As for what you are doing now - awesome, if the kids love it.  We've been doing table time since my two oldest were similar ages.  It started as a way to keep them happy and purposefully occupied while my then youngest napped in the morning, but everyone loves it so we've kept it up.  I have tried to focus on skills that are adaptable to ages and stages, so everyone can do similar activities at their own level.  My oldest is reading fluently; my third is barely speaking.

Table time at our house (with a newly 5 yo, a 3.5 yo, an almost 2 yo, and the 3 mo old hanging out or nursing or napping) looks like this:

• math lab (Miquon worksheets for the oldest, c-rod play with a little Gattegno mixed in for the middle; c-rod or other manipulative play for the little)
• fine motor work (coloring, play dough, cutting, tweezers, etc.) We do letter of the week things here often, with the oldest now actually practicing letter formation in addition to the fun stuff, and the younger two playing with letters while working on their fine motor skills.
• memory work: this caters to my oldest and what I'm working on with him, the younger two are welcome to whatever they pick up.  We usually review 10 phonogram cards, days of the week or months of the year, and a poem
• project: science demonstration, Ivy Kids kit, art project, sensory play.  This often doubles up with the fine motor work.

We do this most days, but not all.  The math is fairly directed by me, but the rest usually looks like play.  We do the memory work while I'm setting up or putting away supplies.  On a long day, we're at the table for an hour, but only because the kids get engaged in a project and want to continue.  Usually it's more like 30 minutes.  The rest of their day is spent in normal house things - following mama while she does chores, running errands, but mostly unstructured free play.  I feel no guilt sitting them at the table for 30 minutes doing some guided play that's also focused on building skills.  My now 5 yo has 30 minutes of school time doing his kindy/1st grade work before his afternoon rest, but that just started after he turned five.

[Lori D.]

First: WELCOME to the WTM forum! :)

Agreeing with HomeAgain. You can set aside formal pre-reading activities for a few months if interest is flagging, and try again later. And lots of other things you can be doing to still enjoy your table time! :) Check out these books for ideas:

Bright Beginnings (by Tammy Shaw) -- 2 full years of pre-school activities/ideas, including things like learning traditional songs, health/safety/manners, "PE" activities like hopping and balancing, and Bible

Montessori activities of matching/sorting/fine motor skills; real-life skills; science; arts & crafts; etc.: Teach Me to Do it Myself: Montessori Activities for You and Your Child (by Maja Pitamic); or, Help Your Preschooler Build a Better Brain (by John Bowman); or Montessori Inspired Activities for Pre-Schoolers (by Jo Ebisujima).

What Your _____ Grader Needs to Know series -- the go-along Activity Book 1 (ages 3-4) and Book 2 (ages 4-5).

For more science ideas: 365 Simple Science Experiments with Everyday Materials and 365 More Simple Science Experiments with Everyday Materials

Also for new ideas of things to do with learning letters: Letter of the Week free curriculum from Katrina Lybbert. (She also has Country of the Week and Science of the Week.) And check out the Leap Frog Letter Factory DVD (and others in the Leap Frog series, as your children are ready).

Other ideas for your morning table time: get a little flag and learn the Pledge of Allegiance; do a weather chart and calendar time; learn your phone number and their full name; do seasons and holiday-related crafts and picture-books; Wee Sing CDs and learn patriotic songs, traditional nursery rhymes, and children's songs;

 

Relax and ENJOY these early years! So much fun! :) Warmest regards, Lori D.

[sweet2ndchance]

I think there is a huge difference between early academics and early learning.

You cannot stop a child from learning and providing an environment that allows a child to explore their interests and understand their world is NOT the same as early academics.

Exposing a preschooler to letter sounds and blending exercises is NOT the same thing as setting an unrealistic expectation that all children will read by the time they reach first grade and therefore causing damage to a child's self-esteem and natural curiosity.

Exploring numbers and number relationships through play is NOT the same thing as drilling math facts.

 

I believe you can do damage with forced early academics but you cannot stop early learning. Aiding a curious or precocious child eager to learn about the world around them is never a bad thing. Forcing an uninterested child to do lessons they are not developmentally ready for is almost certainly going to end in disaster or, at the very least, produce undesirable results that are likely the opposite of the intended result.

Listen to your young children's cues, if they are dying to do more, feed their interest. If they balk or frustrate easily, they probably aren't ready for the material and it should be shelved for a while. Out of my six children, only two were ready for academic work before the age of 6 and even then it was never a requirement before age 6. If they were not interested in academics on a given day, I didn't force it. Even if they lost interest half way through a lesson. Just because only two of my six kids were ready for academic work before age six doesn't mean that all we did was play all day with no learning. We still read books, played games that worked on different skills, watched videos that introduced facts about all kinds of things and explored the world around us. At the end of the day, you know your children better than any "expert". Follow your instincts and take expert advice with a grain of salt and you and your children will be fine.

 

[Katy]

As long as they are enjoying it you are doing perfectly.  Just don't get upset if they want to skip it, and don't force hours of sitting still without any physical play.

And it's not surprising to me that it's easier for your 3 year old.  I think that memorizing information is easier the younger you are, and putting it in context is easier the older you are (until about 25). My only concern might be that your 4 year old might think the 3 year old is "smarter" and stop wanting to try.  I would make sure to point out that it will be easier for the younger to memorize and easier for the older to understand.

[Janeway]

If you are forcing them to sit there and do the work and keep on moving forward in the level of work regardless, then yeah, you might be ruining them and making them hate it. But that does not seem to be what they are doing. They seem to enjoy learning their letters. And re-learning, and re-doing a lesson, every day. Little children are all about repetition. If they like what they are doing, keep doing it. Don't concern yourself with moving forward to a harder lesson. Come up with new things to do with the various letters. They can spend the next couple years just learning letter sounds and having fun with it and all will be great. One activity I recall is have them collect things from around the house that start with any given letter, different letter each day. Spend some time doing colors and some time on shapes. You can learn about the various seasons and holidays. There is just so much. Animals, weather, etc.

[Ravin]

If they are enjoying it, then keep doing it! If your four year old isn't getting it, well, you can try a different approach on the same level next year, or repeat the preschool phonics next year with the materials you have, and it will be fine. There is no rush or need to worry that he isn't getting it.

[Jen654321]

Thanks everyone this helps me feel more confident that I'm doing the right thing with my boys. Lots of great new ideas to look into too! I like the idea of thinking of it as a purposeful play time at the table because that was really my intention. I started it in the first place because we cut out screen time in hopes it would help with some behavioral issues (it worked like a charm!) Which left us with a lot of empty hours during the day and I wanted to find something fun and enriching to keep us busy. 

[Hilltopmom]

They may enjoy adding/ rotating other things into your table time too so that it’s not always workbooks/ lessons-

board games (so many great ones for that age now!), puppets, finger plays& songs, playdo, manipulative, etc

have fun!

[ryes_silver]

My cousin's kid got "kicked" out of daycare for fighting with other kids because there were biting incidents. Sad but cute when I imagine it lol. Anyway, she has been homeschooling for a while now- started off by getting basic Montessori materials from a shop. These appear to be slightly expensive but she can afford it because she's a smart and rich engineer. She said getting my nephew toddler a number of memory-boosting and logical puzzles and games has a lot to do with developing the intelligence and creativity skills. Just give your kid a few lego characters, animal figures and maybe a few cars? And there will be many fairytale/action hero movie scripts created in his/her little head. I've felt it was true. For instance, if you have watched the LEGO movie or have read the plot, you'd be able to relate to your childhood ? It's just beautiful- how our little minds work at such a young age and expand. 

[El...]

One of the things I think I did well with my kids was having"learning time" from preschool age on. We had a little routine of a numbers activity, a letters activity, maybe a song or poem, and then a bunch of reading aloud, which they saw as the reward. We cut with scissors, played with dominoes, all sorts of fun stuff. 

Learning time taught them to listen to me teach, to accept my leadership of the school day. I think it was really important for me to be able to say, "Ok, come to the little table! It's learning time now!" 

I frequently talk to parents of k and 1st grade age kids who tell me, "He just never wants to sit down and learn letters. He just wants to play with toys and watch tv. I don't know if he'll listen to me."

 

 

I'm making this sound really draconian, and it's not!! But building that good habit in a fun way worked for us.

All that to say, you're fine! ?

 

 

[Janeway]

The only thing delayed academics means is not forcing workbook/textbook style learning on a child early on. The only point of messing up a child's organs is referencing forcing a 3 or 4 yr old to sit for hours every day just doing school work, as in, sitting at a desk or table for hours every day doing copy work and other types of work. I agree with principals of Waldorf where it endorses outside play, using the body, fine arts, and delaying forced seat work until 7 yrs old. But Waldorf education only refers to what not to force on them. If your child loves having a basket time or table time, then go for it. Waldorf never said to withhold things your child is interested in if it can be put in the catagory of learning.

[Tanaqui]

LOL, Waldorf.

If your children are enjoying it, you're not harming them.