Preparing very shy kid for college interviews

[kokotg]

DS16 is interested in several colleges that either strongly suggest or require interviews. We're planning on visiting a few of these during our summer road trip, and he's very much dreading the interview part of the visits. He's an introverted, shy, quiet kid who doesn't like to talk about himself and will generally give one word answers to strangers any time he can get away with it. With people he knows well, he's witty and funny and can hold up his end of the conversation just fine, but I very much worry that at an interview he's going to come across as a bad stereotype of a socially repressed homeschooled kid. I'm guessing that sending e-mails to all the admissions people in advance explaining that he's just naturally a quiet kid, and it's not homeschooling's fault would be bad form, so short of that....any advice on how he can prepare for interviews? Both in hopes that they'll go well and so that he'll feel more confident and not ruin his vacation fretting about them. 

[dirty ethel rackham]

Sounds like my oldest.  At that age, I printed out a couple of those "typical interview questions" lists and we just talked about them to get some ideas... Not so much to have rehearsed answers, but some talking points.  Due to the shy nature of my kid we often did this in the car when we were driving somewhere.  I would point out some of my observations and ask if those felt true to him and I emphasized that he was free to disagree with me.  He kept a notebook of ideas for these types of questions.  Next, I had him practice a mock interview with a couple of homeschool parents that he knew well.  They we had him visit a school that would not be a good fit for his interests but was small and personable so that he could practice in a low-pressure but real situation.  After all of these steps, he felt more at ease about the interviews.  If had needed to impress an Ivy alum, I don't think he could have done it, but at the small LACs that he applied to, the admissions counselors were very skilled at getting kids to talk and he rocked those.  

 

[teachermom2834]

Is your ds a rising senior? If he is younger I wouldn't do these interviews until closer to admissions time. I realize you want to hit these while on your trip so my advice might be useless but if these are the type of interviews that could make or break an admissions decision I would wait until closer to time. If these are schools he should easily get admitted to and it is just a box to check, that is different. 

I say that because my ds at almost 18 is so very different than he was at 16. At 16 he would have really struggled with any kind of college interview. However, last month he went to a scholarship weekend and interviewed for two programs. He told us he owned the interviews. LOL.  That year really made a world of difference for my kid in maturity and confidence. 

As practical preparation, my ds met with the career services office at the college he was at for de. They helped him with his resume and interview prep and did a mock interview. It was very helpful and that is more my kid's style than practicing with mom. 

[kokotg]

2 hours ago, dirty ethel rackham said:

Sounds like my oldest.  At that age, I printed out a couple of those "typical interview questions" lists and we just talked about them to get some ideas... Not so much to have rehearsed answers, but some talking points.  Due to the shy nature of my kid we often did this in the car when we were driving somewhere.  I would point out some of my observations and ask if those felt true to him and I emphasized that he was free to disagree with me.  He kept a notebook of ideas for these types of questions.  Next, I had him practice a mock interview with a couple of homeschool parents that he knew well.  They we had him visit a school that would not be a good fit for his interests but was small and personable so that he could practice in a low-pressure but real situation.  After all of these steps, he felt more at ease about the interviews.  If had needed to impress an Ivy alum, I don't think he could have done it, but at the small LACs that he applied to, the admissions counselors were very skilled at getting kids to talk and he rocked those.  

 

 

Thank you--that's all great advice! From everything I've read, the interviews at most colleges are pretty informal and are supposed to be more like conversations than a bunch of gotcha type questions, so I keep telling him that if he has some ideas for the things he knows are coming: "why this college?" "what would you contribute"--plus some good questions to ask about the college and its programs--then all he has to do besides that is talk about what he's interested in. I have an aunt who was a high school guidance counselor until she retired a few years ago; I'm thinking of asking her if she'd be willing to do some interview prep/mock interviewing with him.

[kokotg]

1 hour ago, teachermom2834 said:

Is your ds a rising senior? If he is younger I wouldn't do these interviews until closer to admissions time. I realize you want to hit these while on your trip so my advice might be useless but if these are the type of interviews that could make or break an admissions decision I would wait until closer to time. If these are schools he should easily get admitted to and it is just a box to check, that is different. 

 

He is a rising senior (he'll be 17 in early June)....and the schools we're visiting this summer are mostly 1000 miles from home, more or less, so it's really now or never (unless he does alumni interviews in the fall or winter instead, but it seems kind of silly not to do interviews when we're right there on campus....I feel like putting them off a few months would just give him a few more months to worry about them)

[teachermom2834]

1 hour ago, kokotg said:

He is a rising senior (he'll be 17 in early June)....and the schools we're visiting this summer are mostly 1000 miles from home, more or less, so it's really now or never (unless he does alumni interviews in the fall or winter instead, but it seems kind of silly not to do interviews when we're right there on campus....I feel like putting them off a few months would just give him a few more months to worry about them)

That makes sense. I thought he might be a just a rising junior at 16. If they are the informal sort he should be fine. I would just make sure he has some talking points and if you can get him to practice with someone that should build is confidence.

[RootAnn]

17 minutes ago, teachermom2834 said:

That makes sense. I thought he might be a just a rising junior at 16.

Insert listening emoji or the popcorn one.
[I have my own rising senior (16 yrs old) who has a few colleges > 700 miles away on her college list. Scholarship weekend interviews might be a challenge if we don't practice first.]

[GoodGrief]

It will help to go into it very well informed about the college. Have him research the school's programs (and the specifics of his potential field/s of study if applicable), unique traditions, housing, even find out a bit about the area. Write down a question or two specific to each school, and be able to verbalize a few things he likes about the school. He will want to be able to explain his educational path because homeschooling comes in many flavors. They may want to talk about his interests and extracurriculars. Having bullet points prepared can help jog his memory if he draws a blank.

In the end, it takes practice, and rarely will a college interview be a make or break as far as admissions. It's wonderful educationally though! Great life skill, and he will get better at it.

[8filltheheart]

I can share how we handled it with our shy, introverted Dd.  We started by meeting with depts at schools that were very low down on her interest list.  We didn't do it on purpose, but I am glad it turned out that way bc she grew so much during the process. The difference between her first dept visit and her finalist scholarship competition was HUGE. She learned about herself--what she really wanted from a dept, what questions to ask, what goals she wanted to be able to achieve.

So....I would start by making dept appointments at nearby schools that he is not really interested in and use that as practice!

[daijobu]

Mock interviews as advised above are key.  Also, you can train him to follow each answered question with a question of his own for the interviewer.  

"I really improved my fluency during my trip to France.  Did you go overseas while you were at AlmaMater College?"  

People love to talk, and the more time your interviewer is talking, the less time your student will need to.  And it will feel more like a conversation, and your student will appear genuinely curious about the school. 

 

[kokotg]

Just an update: various scheduling issues meant he only ended up doing one interview on our summer trip, at Hamilton. He of course doesn't want to give me too many details, but it seems to have gone pretty well. He was in a good mood when he finished, and Hamilton's at the top of his short list now. He was already fretting about it so much that I was wary of making him even more nervous by talking about it too much, but we went over questions they were likely to ask and he made sure to be ready with a few questions of his own. I think he's at least confident that the interview didn't hurt his chances, and he should feel a little less overwhelmed about any he does going forward.