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Just for fun: (weird topic) what's the most ridiculous rude thing someone said to you on the phone

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I'm thinking of things that are funny later cuz they were so ridiculous at the time.

 

Here's mine:  I work in a smallish office, and I'm the gatekeeper for two c-level execs and the Top Dog. (There are six of us doing my job function and herding assisting the execs, but I have the most to help.)  I'm not normally on the main phone line, but occasionally, I pick up an incoming phone call off the main line. 

 

A guy called the other day and asked to talk directly to the Top Dog.  Of course I'm going to ask some questions, but the guy was offended cuz he thought he was Somebody, and he asked me if "I was the FBI or something" since I asked so many questions.  He also corrected me on the titles of my bosses. LOL -- as if.   He was so over-the-top rude, it was amusing. I've also had two "call and cuss you out as a strategy to get what I want" calls in the last six months. (Odd, what people think might be effective.)

 

Share your stories, please.  :svengo:

 

 

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I called my dad and step-mom to tell them I was pregnant with my first. First thing my step-mom said was not "Congratulations" but, "I dont want to be called Grandma. That's for my kids' kids." 

 

 

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I called my dad and step-mom to tell them I was pregnant with my first. First thing my step-mom said was not "Congratulations" but, "I dont want to be called Grandma. That's for my kids' kids." 

 

oh my.  I don't want to be called "grandma" either, but that's only because it isn't customary in my family.  I hope things have improved!

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oh my.  I don't want to be called "grandma" either, but that's only because it isn't customary in my family.  I hope things have improved!

Sure have! She's out of my life.  ;)

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I called my dad and step-mom to tell them I was pregnant with my first. First thing my step-mom said was not "Congratulations" but, "I dont want to be called Grandma. That's for my kids' kids."

 

She sounds like a real charmer. :glare:

 

If you weren’t so polite, I’ll bet you wished you could call her a few names other than Grandma when she said that!

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Back before I had caller id, I’d answer the phone and it would be card service lady. One time, I pressed the option to be removed from the list and the lady on the other end cussed me out. I was sure I misunderstood her because I had not experienced that before, and I asked her to repeat herself, and no, I did not misunderstand her and no, the calls did not stop.

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When I was an undergrad back in the day I worked in an Eddie Bauer call center. We got many odd calls but this particular day the caller asked if my elbows were showing and how it felt to graze them on my desk. He then asked me to describe the elbows of other people in the call center and asked if the model on page 7 of the catalog with the sexy elbows worked there. I hung up and assumed it was a prank. Later at lunch I started to tell some coworkers about it and two said at the same time "you got elbow guy" so weird. This was before the internet truly took off so I imagine it was more challenging to fulfill ones elbow desires.

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I'm thinking of things that are funny later cuz they were so ridiculous at the time.

 

Here's mine: I work in a smallish office, and I'm the gatekeeper for two c-level execs and the Top Dog. (There are six of us doing my job function and herding assisting the execs, but I have the most to help.) I'm not normally on the main phone line, but occasionally, I pick up an incoming phone call off the main line.

 

A guy called the other day and asked to talk directly to the Top Dog. Of course I'm going to ask some questions, but the guy was offended cuz he thought he was Somebody, and he asked me if "I was the FBI or something" since I asked so many questions. He also corrected me on the titles of my bosses. LOL -- as if. He was so over-the-top rude, it was amusing. I've also had two "call and cuss you out as a strategy to get what I want" calls in the last six months. (Odd, what people think might be effective.)

 

Share your stories, please. :svengo:

I had one like this once when I worked in admin. He said "I asked to speak to Mr bossname not his stupid receptionist". Sure way to win friends and influence people ... I think the technique was to be intimidating till you got to the decision maker. Didn't work...

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She sounds like a real charmer. :glare:

 

If you weren’t so polite, I’ll bet you wished you could call her a few names other than Grandma when she said that!

Lol yeah... said in the sweetest and most dulcet of tones. "Would you prefer !insert insulting name here!"

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This is not that mean, more funny, and the reverse...

 

When my daughter was 10, one of her friends answered a telemarketer for me. (I was driving, she didn't want the phone to ring and offered to talk to them.)  She said, "Hello, Felicia" in a very sassy manner with a young girl voice.  They hung up on her! :)

 

We laughed and laughed, I still laugh every time I think about it.

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said in a derogatory manner:  most people don't call these days, they text.

 

okay, so, you called to tell me I'm dumb for receiving your call rather than awaiting your text?  riiiiiight...

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When I was at university I took a call at my hostel and got asked 'how much do you ladies charge'. The most annoying though was the woman who rang at 6 am, insisted on singing happy birthday and was angry when I said she had the wrong person.

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I worked for an answering service at one point and one guy with a very southern drawl crank called a window business we answered for.  He was saying obscene things interspersed with "ma'am".  I almost died laughing. 

 

 

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The time I was on the phone with a business trying to find their location......and I asked him if he was on the north or south side of the road...and he said, 'well, it just depends on which direction you are coming from.' I said, ' no. No it doesn't.' But he ignored me and went on describing the intersection and such......so when I was close to where I thought he was I said, ' OK, I am getting close, now are you on the north or south side of the road'. With an exasperated tone he said, ' again Ma'am, it just depends on which direction you are coming from.'.

 

When I got inside the business I was dying to ask for him and tell him his business sits on the north side of the highway--regardless of which direction he is coming from.

 

My family still laughs about it.

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The time I was on the phone with a business trying to find their location......and I asked him if he was on the north or south side of the road...and he said, 'well, it just depends on which direction you are coming from.' I said, ' no. No it doesn't.' But he ignored me and went on describing the intersection and such......so when I was close to where I thought he was I said, ' OK, I am getting close, now are you on the north or south side of the road'. With an exasperated tone he said, ' again Ma'am, it just depends on which direction you are coming from.'.

 

When I got inside the business I was dying to ask for him and tell him his business sits on the north side of the highway--regardless of which direction he is coming from.

 

My family still laughs about it.

 

Ok I'm about to demonstrate my ineptness with direction, but I would have had no idea how to answer that question.  How would a person know if they were on the north or south side of a road (especially given that they had no idea where they were and how to get somewhere)?

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Ok I'm about to demonstrate my ineptness with direction, but I would have had no idea how to answer that question. How would a person know if they were on the north or south side of a road (especially given that they had no idea where they were and how to get somewhere)?

He was in a business. He knew where he was---but obviously didn't know he was on the north side of the highway. I didn't know which block he was on....it was a rural setting, it was hard to see addresses and my GPS couldn't locate him. I was unfamiliar with the location and didn't know which intersections were coming up. I did however know which direction I was traveling because of the sun. :). And north and south doesn't change regardless of which direction you are coming from.

Edited by Scarlett
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He was in a business. He knew where he was---but obviously didn't know he was on the north side of the highway. I didn't know which block he was on....it was a rural setting, it was hard to see addresses and my GPS couldn't locate him. I was unfamiliar with the location and didn't know which intersections were coming up. I did however know which direction I was traveling because of the sun. :). And north and south doesn't change regardless of which direction you are coming from.

 

Wow, I still have no clue how I'd know if I were south or north. 

 

LOL 

 

I am not sure if I should be embarrassed.  I do not drive very far too often so that's part of it.

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Wow, I still have no clue how I'd know if I were south or north.

 

LOL

 

I am not sure if I should be embarrassed. I do not drive very far too often so that's part of it.

If you're that bad with directionality, are you not using a GPS or at least Google Maps? There's a compass right on the display.

 

But if you live/work somewhere, looking at a map once ever also solves this mystery. Or looking which direction the sun rises and sets in. It doesn't change. Well, unless the magnetic field were to suddenly flip...

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If you're that bad with directionality, are you not using a GPS or at least Google Maps? There's a compass right on the display.

 

But if you live/work somewhere, looking at a map once ever also solves this mystery. Or looking which direction the sun rises and sets in. It doesn't change. Well, unless the magnetic field were to suddenly flip...

 

I do have a GPS, but I don't use it.  It does not have a compass on it that I know of. 

 

So obviously no I'm not using it given that I don't know what is on it.  :laugh:

 

Like I said, I do not go far very often. 

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I recall "talking" to one of my then-girlfriend's (MomsintheGarden's) girlfriends on the telephone one evening when we were in college.  She liked to talk...a LOT!  I fell asleep sometime during the conversation and when I awoke, she was still going! :lol: She never even noticed (or cared) that I was not there for quite a while!

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I do have a GPS, but I don't use it. It does not have a compass on it that I know of.

 

So obviously no I'm not using it given that I don't know what is on it. :laugh:

 

Like I said, I do not go far very often.

The compass is that diamond shaped thingy in the corner floating about over the map. It's usually red on one half. That points north.

 

I never got a GPS, as I do have a good sense of direction, but I have started using Google Maps since it started including how to avoid traffic... it's like seeing into the future!

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I do have a GPS, but I don't use it. It does not have a compass on it that I know of.

 

So obviously no I'm not using it given that I don't know what is on it. :laugh:

 

Like I said, I do not go far very often.

Never eat soggy wheatbix... that's what they teach us here. I'm sure there's something different for the US...

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Never eat soggy wheatbix... that's what they teach us here. I'm sure there's something different for the US...

 

Wow...do I feel dumb because I have no idea what you mean with this.

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The compass is that diamond shaped thingy in the corner floating about over the map. It's usually red on one half. That points north.

 

I never got a GPS, as I do have a good sense of direction, but I have started using Google Maps since it started including how to avoid traffic... it's like seeing into the future!

 

Yeah if I go somewhere I'm not familiar with I use maps and plan it out ahead of time. I'll use the GPS to help with turns (because it's difficult to read that when driving), but if I don't plan carefully ahead it is NOT pretty.  LOL

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Wow...do I feel dumb because I have no idea what you mean with this.

Lol... it's a stupid acronym type thing we teach kids to learn the order of the compass points - North , East, South, West. If you see where the sun rises you can work out which direction is which from where you are.

 

You aren't dumb it's just a local thing...

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I have the voice of a little kid. More than once I've been asked to get my parents.  :001_rolleyes: But I get it, whatever, they don't know. 

 

Except one lady kept insisting I was a child and repeatedly demanded that I put my parents on the phone, as if it was her personal mission to "out" any liars on the other end like she were the Cruella de Ville of Telemarketing. At first I reacted by trying to "prove" to her (in hindsight, I hate that I did that) but then I just told her I was hanging up. And I did, and I called my parents on another continent to complain about my stupid voice and - since I was on a roll - the short gene they had ALSO given me. LOL

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Lol... it's a stupid acronym type thing we teach kids to learn the order of the compass points - North , East, South, West. If you see where the sun rises you can work out which direction is which from where you are.

 

You aren't dumb it's just a local thing...

 

Ok but how do I tell north or south?  Without using a compass?

 

I already beyond embarrassed myself so I might as well learn this now.  :laugh:

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I learned "never eat shredded wheat," in small-town Midwest as a kid. The asking for north/south is also a rural Midwest thing. I've not heard it on the east coast, or south, and I think its because the midwest, north of Kentucky, is laid out in squares. Giving directions is almost as easy as those maps on a graph worksheets they do in first grade. Other places have roads that are too curvy and windy to just be referred to with cardinal directions.

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Ok but how do I tell north or south? Without using a compass?

 

I already beyond embarrassed myself so I might as well learn this now. :laugh:

If you stand with your arms out so you point your right hand east and your left hand west you are facing north and south is behind you.

 

Ummm...

I learned this when I was doing Charlotte Mason geography with my kids... one of the reasons this is probably a subject I should be outsourcing!

 

I can get lost pretty much anywhere.

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Wow, I still have no clue how I'd know if I were south or north. 

 

LOL 

 

I am not sure if I should be embarrassed.  I do not drive very far too often so that's part of it.

 

Following along with your whole string of comments, and chuckling because I'm similarly clueless. 

 

However, I have learned a few things. 

 

Mainly, if you are traveling on a highway that runs North/South, around here, people mean "are you on the Northbound side of the road, or the Southbound side of the road?" (wanting to know so that whether they are traveling North or South, they know if they need to u-turn under the freeway or if the business is on the same side of the road as them).  

 

Now, that actually has little to do with what actual direction the business is located (because, I've been driving "South" on a highway and heading directly into the sun setting.....in the west.....but whatever), and more to do with how the highways are labeled. 

 

Similarly, someone *might* ask, if the highway is an East/West highway, if you're on the North or South side of the highway (or in giving directions related to a cross street, "north of....."). That, for me, takes a lot more brain power to stop and figure out.

 

Yes, yes, I can tell you when sitting in my house what direction N/S/E/W are, because I do know where the sun rises & sets, but out driving, it's so.much.harder. for me.  Stopping to think 'okay, so, I'm heading East and the business is on the right hand side of the highway....and the compass goes around NESW (never eat slimy worms), so East is in front of me....so to my right is.....south? I think?" Oye.  In a business, though, probably he should ask someone/learn/find out the answer; around here, it would be a common question. Well, more common is the "northbound/southbound" type question, and that's easy enough since the highway signs all tell you if you're on 59 North or 59 South (or whatever). 

 

Anyway, just wanted to elaborate, and commiserate. (and the rhyme thing is to remember the order of directions -- Never Eat S... W....; I learned it as Slimy Worms; helps you remember if you have North at the top of the compass, which direction going clockwise the directions are). 

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Both dh and I have gotten a rash of con artist recordings on our mobiles over the last year threatening that they are the IRS and we owe them money and we'd better call their 800 number with our payment information or else they're coming to put us in jail. It's been pretty amusing that all of these IRS agents have extremely heavy Nigerian accents and lots of children playing in the background of their offices while they're making their calls. One of my favorites was when the woman actually had to stop her diatribe to yell at said children......I really would like to actually pick up one of the calls and talk to them one day, but my phone automatically intercepts and send them to voicemail. But I do love their attempts at being intinimdating with "OR ELSE" hissed at the end of every phone call. I mean, who seriously calls them back?!? 

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Ok but how do I tell north or south?  Without using a compass?

 

I already beyond embarrassed myself so I might as well learn this now.  :laugh:

 

I think it's something some people are just inclined to and some aren't. I am much better with directions using NSEW than dh. But if you tell me using things like "go two miles past the mail box and then take a right and 500 yards from there do XYZ" I will never, ever get there, whereas that's how he works best. I'm super spatially challenged, but I can always find direction. At least around where I live, or as long as I can see the sun. :) 

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Ok but how do I tell north or south?  Without using a compass?

 

I already beyond embarrassed myself so I might as well learn this now.  :laugh:

 

For example, go look at this map of the National Mall in D.C.

 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:National_Mall_map.png

 

This map is in the normal configuration, i.e. north is up on the map. Do you see where the White House is, at #3? And see how Constitution Avenue is below that? That means that the White House is on the north side of Constitution Avenue. Meanwhile, a little bit to the east (right), you see the Natural History Museum (#24), which is on the south side of Constitution Avenue.

 

Once you've seen the picture on a map of a place you know well, you might keep carrying that picture in your head. Many people do. It becomes second nature to them that Constitution Avenue runs east/west with the White House to the north and the Mall to the south.

 

Some people don't carry a birds-eye picture like that in their minds, though. They organize the information differently. Maybe you are that kind of person?

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If you stand with your arms out so you point your right hand east and your left hand west you are facing north and south is behind you.

 

Ummm...

I learned this when I was doing Charlotte Mason geography with my kids... one of the reasons this is probably a subject I should be outsourcing!

 

I can get lost pretty much anywhere.

 

But if you do this you need to know east and west.  How would you know this? 

 

I understand the directions, but there is no actual way to tell this without a compass or if you just happen to know...right?  This is what I don't get.

 

But following TheReader, I do think probably the question pertains more to are you traveling south/north on the highway.  But...what if one is not traveling on a highway and there are no signs around?  I've driven a few rural places around there where you can't find a sign for miles and miles.  I would not know which direction I was going. 

 

I do know what is north or south of me in terms of cities.  Finding signs that said north/south I could get back home that way.  But if I had no clue where I was....

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But if you do this you need to know east and west. How would you know this?

 

I understand the directions, but there is no actual way to tell this without a compass or if you just happen to know...right? This is what I don't get.

 

But following TheReader, I do think probably the question pertains more to are you traveling south/north on the highway. But...what if one is not traveling on a highway and there are no signs around? I've driven a few rural places around there where you can't find a sign for miles and miles. I would not know which direction I was going.

 

I do know what is north or south of me in terms of cities. Finding signs that said north/south I could get back home that way. But if I had no clue where I was....

If it's morning east is the direction the sun is. If it's afternoon the sun is in the west...

 

If it's noon you may as well stop for a lunch break anyway!

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But if you do this you need to know east and west.  How would you know this? 

 

I understand the directions, but there is no actual way to tell this without a compass or if you just happen to know...right?  This is what I don't get.

 

But following TheReader, I do think probably the question pertains more to are you traveling south/north on the highway.  But...what if one is not traveling on a highway and there are no signs around?  I've driven a few rural places around there where you can't find a sign for miles and miles.  I would not know which direction I was going. 

 

I do know what is north or south of me in terms of cities.  Finding signs that said north/south I could get back home that way.  But if I had no clue where I was....

 

The sun. But if it's cloudy you're in trouble. 

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Also there's a cool thing at night you can do with the southern cross where I live to help you find south. We learnt it at some astronomy thing.

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Where I live (Colorado's front range) everyone pretty much ways uses North, South, East, West in directions but they are easier here ... because the mountains are West.

 

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

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Back in my first regular job, which was in the Great Lakes area, there was a call from someone in Florida who wanted to be a distributor for the company.  The caller demanded to speak with someone who "speaks very good Spanish."  I was put on since I spoke more Spanish than everyone else present (the owners were from India and we had fluent speakers of at least 6 languages, but Spanish was not one of them).  Now my Spanish is not the greatest, but I was able to understand and speak, just not rapidly or with high sophistication.  I told them "I'll do my best."  Turns out the person on the other end spoke good enough English to get the job done.  But in the end they chided again, "I can't believe you don't have anyone in your company who speaks Very Good Spanish."

 

Of course I was very polite about it, but someone should tell that person that just because a lot of people in Florida speak Spanish, that doesn't mean every small business in the Great Lakes area does.  There are well over a hundred languages represented in our area, but every person can't speak all of them.

 

(FTR we did have a traveling salesman who spoke Spanish, but he was not physically present and they didn't want to wait for him to call them back.)

Edited by SKL

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But if you do this you need to know east and west.  How would you know this?

 

I know people have already answered this with "the sun", but I agree it's harder than that. I have sometimes gotten quite tangled up in country roads with no idea what direction I was heading.

 

But here's the thing--

 

If someone asked me what side of the road my house is on (or the place where I work), that's easy to answer. I have a very clear picture of my neighborhood and which way is north. I am on the north side of the street. My work place is on the east side of its street.

 

OTOH, if I asked someone what side of the road they were on, I would only be asking because I had a clear picture already of the road I was heading on, either because it was a spot I knew well or because I had looked at a map ahead of time. I wouldn't even ask unless I knew the road was going east/west.

 

So, while I don't always know which way is north at any moment, it will only come up in conversations in situations where I do know it.

 

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Last year I decided to have DD#1 take the ITBS for a different grade level than her age-based grade level. I wanted to get two score reports, one using norms for her age-based grade and one using norms for the grade of the test. I had to call because there's no way to order that on the website.

 

First person I talked to responded in a snotty tone, "Why would you want to do THAT?" Later (I can never think of these things in the moment), I thought that I should have said, "Look, if I want her to take the test standing on her head, that is my business!"

 

Second person I talked to was willing to do what I asked, but she kept insisting to me that since DD was in 2nd grade, the 4th grade test would be too easy for her. This is after I explained that since she scores 98th/99th percentile across the board in the on-level tests, I felt like an above-level test would give me more information about relative strengths and weaknesses. This person kept telling me that, no, the 4th grade test was not written for 2nd graders, so it would be too easy and I would still see just 98th/99th percentiles; it would not give me what I wanted. I even checked a couple times to make sure she understood that I wasn't saying I wanted a 4th grader to take the 2nd grade test, but the other way around. I think it finally clicked for her when I said, "So you're telling me that the 4th grade test would be easier for a 2nd grader than the 2nd grade test would be?" But she still didn't acknowledge that she'd been mixed up. She just said, "...Yeees." And then finished up the transaction in a hurry.

 

This year when I called for the same reason, the conversations were much easier!

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I called my dad and step-mom to tell them I was pregnant with my first. First thing my step-mom said was not "Congratulations" but, "I dont want to be called Grandma. That's for my kids' kids." 

 

My Father-in-law (no step) said the same thing. He didn't feel old enough to be a Grandpa. I notice by the time my oldest was old enough to call him anything, he'd gotten used to the idea.

 

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The time I was on the phone with a business trying to find their location......and I asked him if he was on the north or south side of the road...and he said, 'well, it just depends on which direction you are coming from.' I said, ' no. No it doesn't.' But he ignored me and went on describing the intersection and such......so when I was close to where I thought he was I said, ' OK, I am getting close, now are you on the north or south side of the road'. With an exasperated tone he said, ' again Ma'am, it just depends on which direction you are coming from.'.

 

When I got inside the business I was dying to ask for him and tell him his business sits on the north side of the highway--regardless of which direction he is coming from.

 

My family still laughs about it.

I literally laughed out loud by myself at this. That is hilarious!

 

He was probably thinking of wherever you were he could have been north of you or south of you but not thinking about it with the freeway being a fixed point and his position in relation to that. Some people have map and directionality blindness that is similar to being "tone deaf" and not hearing rhythms and such.

Edited by nixpix5
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When I was in high school my summer job was working in a theatre.  I worked in the office and answered phones.  There was a production running and there was a problem with the actors' paychecks.  The wife of one of the actors angrily called multiple times asking to speak with the producer who was actually out of town at the time.  She didn't believe me that he wasn't there and at one point called me "the C word."  I was 15 and was a little shocked to say the least.  The funny part is that she was a fairly famous actress and the voice of a famous cartoon character.  Every time i see that character I think of her saying that word!

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Ok but how do I tell north or south?  Without using a compass?

 

I already beyond embarrassed myself so I might as well learn this now.  :laugh:

 I understand your conundrum. Directions used to be a huge problem for me. What really helped and helps me figure out which way is N, S, E, or W is looking at a map of my town. I highly recommend getting a map of where you live, or pulling it up on Google. On that map, find the streets and areas that are familiar to you already. Then look for the compass rose (the icon on the map that points out the four directions). MOST maps are north-oriented, meaning that the north part of town, or region your looking at, will be at the top of the map. As you look at that, then look at familiar areas of your town, you'll begin to understand the directions in relation to your town. It's much easier this way, learning the directions as related to something pertinent to you, to retain that knowledge later. And it really is something everyone should know. Hope that helps!

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SparlyUnicorn,

 

One way to get a handle on it is to start noticing and marking the relationships of destinations or landmarks on your usual routes.

 

You could sketch it out, if that helps, or jot down some notes.

 

"The highway runs north south.

To get to Whereverville, I go north on the highway for twenty miles, them turn right, which is east, and go five miles."

"To come back, I start from Whereverville, go west five miles to the highway, then turn left, which is south, and it will be twenty miles home."

 

Take a compass and map your local downtown, with the kids. Barbershop is west of the gas station and north of the library.

 

Or anytime you have to go someplace new, don't think of just "right" and "left" directions as you're planning your route. Visualize or sketch it, including the north, south, east, and west.

 

Thinking directionally is a habit. If you don't live in a place where nature helps you out by woodland signs or a literal mountain peak to the west of your entire town, you can still "know" which way is north, by developing the habit of keeping track as you go.

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Can I add a story where I was the inappropriate one? (Didn't mean to be inappropriate ... it just came out haha)

 

I worked in a large department for a company. We had 3 men there who went by the name Dick. One day someone called and asked to speak with Dick. I said "Do you know his last name? We have a lot of Dicks that work here."

 

Yeah. That was uncomfortable.

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This wasn't rude so much as bizarrely clueless.  I was talking to the billing department of a hospital where my daughter had had knee surgery.  It was, of course, the first week of January, so we'd made zero progress towards our deductible, and they required a $5,000 deposit.  Fine.  But when bills started showing up, I could find no evidence that my $5K had been credited anywhere, so I started calling the providers' billing departments to find out where it went.  One of them--the billing department for a major children's hospital--told me, "Oh, you didn't pay us; we are the billing department and don't perform any services."  I didn't even know how to respond.

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Can I add a story where I was the inappropriate one? (Didn't mean to be inappropriate ... it just came out haha)

 

I worked in a large department for a company. We had 3 men there who went by the name Dick. One day someone called and asked to speak with Dick. I said "Do you know his last name? We have a lot of Dicks that work here."

 

Yeah. That was uncomfortable.

 

:lol:

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