HappyLady Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 I tend to be an overprotective mother so I'm not sure how to handle this. Would you leave a well-behaved 10 year old alone at a restaurant table while you went to the restroom? My younger child can't go by himself and my 10yo has stated she'd prefer to stay at the table while I took her brother to the bathroom. I've had her stand outside the stall or even the bathroom, but have never left her alone at the table. She knows not to leave with strangers, etc, but the idea of it still makes me nervous. Again, I fully admit I'm a bit overprotective, but I also know at some point I'm going to have to let them grow up a little. :) WWYD? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeenagerMom Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 I wouldn't have a second thought about leaving a 10 year old that is well behaved alone at a restaurant table while I went to the restroom. 48 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MotherGoose Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 (edited) Absolutely. I've been leaving mine alone (in small restaurants in small town) since they were about 5 or 6. A ten year old, anywhere. I leave them with the instructions to not go outside. If anyone tries to make them go outside, scream. ETA I don't worry about abductions because that's extremely rare. But just in case, I give contingency plans. Edited March 21, 2018 by MotherGoose 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Okra Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 Absolutely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 Assuming it's a normal restaurant then of course. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 Yep I am pretty overprotective but would be ok with that unless for some reason I had a bad feeling about the location of some specific person there. There's going to be staff around and security cameras. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umsami Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 Yes at a typical restaurant, sure. No problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 I’m with them. I would leave my 10yo at the table eating Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nixpix5 Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 I would do it without a second thought about it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 I would have been willing to leave my kids much younger than that. Assuming it's not a super sketchy restaurant, it's just the bathroom. You're still in the same building even. I don't think most people would even call that leaving a child "alone." 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 Absolutely. Considering I was babysitting for a toddler and a newborn for short time periods at age 9 I wouldn't hesitate. Any 10 year olds are home alone for hours at a time. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 I think your gut matters a lot more than a survey from people who live in all sorts of areas (all over the world). It's not just about how old the child is. There are a lot of factors. It's important to learn to trust yourself to make these decisions. 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyLady Posted March 21, 2018 Author Share Posted March 21, 2018 Phew. I feel better about it now. Thanks! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wendyroo Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 Of course. I won't leave my 4 year old alone at a restaurant table if I have to take the toddler to the bathroom, but that is largely because I worry about strangers overreacting if they see him alone...and if I'm headed to the bathroom I'd rather the 4 year old try to go at the same time. In another year, when he is 5.5, I expect I will be comfortable leaving him at a table, just as I was comfortable leaving his brothers around that age. At most restaurants and other public places, I am also very comfortable sending kids to the bathroom on their own starting when they are 5 or 6. I'm not talking about large airport or amusement park restrooms, but small, familiar, local library/restaurant/grocery store restrooms provide a great training ground for building confidence and independence. Wendy 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Megbo Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 Yes, absolutely. I would do so as soon as the child is comfortable staying without me, which for my kids is around age 6 or 7. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 I think your gut matters a lot more than a survey from people who live in all sorts of areas (all over the world). It's not just about how old the child is. There are a lot of factors. It's important to learn to trust yourself to make these decisions. This is true and there can be reasons not to leave a 10 yo alone for five minutes in a public place... but I think if you have a neurotypical, well behaved 10 yo and are in a decent neighborhood in a public place and your gut is screaming don't do it every time regardless of anything else, like an unusual person giving you the creeps or something... I think it's time to examine your gut. 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 Um, I left my 6 yo at home alone while I ran errands. I wouldn't think anything of it, honestly. 10 is middle school age here. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 This is true and there can be reasons not to leave a 10 yo alone for five minutes in a public place... but I think if you have a neurotypical, well behaved 10 yo and are in a decent neighborhood in a public place and your gut is screaming don't do it every time regardless of anything else, like an unusual person giving you the creeps or something... I think it's time to examine your gut. I agree with this. My gut instinct is always to take zero risk; I have to override that feeling with logic all the time. If I am willing to eat in the restaurant, I would be willing to leave my kid at the table for 5 minutes, assuming the kid is not prone to misbehavior. On the (very unlikely) chance that someone would mess with the kid, a 10-year-old can put up a fuss which would alert the staff that something is wrong, not to mention people at adjacent tables who probably noticed me with kid. If the place (and the staff and patrons?) was so sketchy that I thought it was a high risk, I wouldn't eat there. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MotherGoose Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 I leave my 9 and almost 12 year olds home alone regularly, and sometimes in charge of their 2 year old brother. I let them wander stores unattended. (not the 2 year old). I was shopping for a sewing machine the other day, for example, and my 9 year old (only her) was bored. I told her she could wander around the store but not go outside. She did fine. I did not have concerns about her destroying or breaking anything, and I trusted that if anything bad happened, someone would scream. To avoid alarming her, I told her that the rule was that she could not go outside the store. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 I have and think nothing of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesertBlossom Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Absolutely. Now, having a 10 year old go the bathroom alone always make me nervous. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calm37 Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 I really couldn't just say yes. Some restaurants are so busy and the rest rooms are nowhere in sight of the table. It just depends. Here in town at the coffee shop, sure. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athomeontheprairie Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 I leave my 9 and almost 12 year olds home alone regularly, and sometimes in charge of their 2 year old brother. I let them wander stores unattended. (not the 2 year old). I was shopping for a sewing machine the other day, for example, and my 9 year old (only her) was bored. I told her she could wander around the store but not go outside. She did fine. I did not have concerns about her destroying or breaking anything, and I trusted that if anything bad happened, someone would scream. To avoid alarming her, I told her that the rule was that she could not go outside the store. This. I'll leave my 6 year old alone at a table. We are in a rural area, and I routinely send my 10yo into the store next to our grocer while I go into a different store t get food. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 I tend to be an overprotective mother so I'm not sure how to handle this. Would you leave a well-behaved 10 year old alone at a restaurant table while you went to the restroom? My younger child can't go by himself and my 10yo has stated she'd prefer to stay at the table while I took her brother to the bathroom. I've had her stand outside the stall or even the bathroom, but have never left her alone at the table. She knows not to leave with strangers, etc, but the idea of it still makes me nervous. Again, I fully admit I'm a bit overprotective, but I also know at some point I'm going to have to let them grow up a little. :) WWYD? My son is age 10 and I've left him alone at the table while taking my daughter to the restroom. I feel better leaving him alone at the table than to go into the restroom alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 In a heartbeat. And I'd let her go to the bathroom alone in that same restaurant as well. When I was that age, back in the dangerous 1990s, I came home by myself to an empty house and frequently went from there into Manhattan alone as well. It's a lot safer now than it was back then. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 I do that all the time with my 9yo. I figure that even if there was a kidnapping psychopath in the restaurant, she's also surrounded by a bunch of other people who aren't kidnapping psychopaths, and if someone tried to drag her out of the restaurant kicking and screaming while I'm peeing, many of those other people would stop it from happening. Because the vast majority of people are good and want to do the right thing. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 I tend to be an overprotective mother so I'm not sure how to handle this. Would you leave a well-behaved 10 year old alone at a restaurant table while you went to the restroom? My younger child can't go by himself and my 10yo has stated she'd prefer to stay at the table while I took her brother to the bathroom. I've had her stand outside the stall or even the bathroom, but have never left her alone at the table. She knows not to leave with strangers, etc, but the idea of it still makes me nervous. Again, I fully admit I'm a bit overprotective, but I also know at some point I'm going to have to let them grow up a little. :) WWYD? If it is a familiar place and he feels comfortable, I allow my 9 year old to remain at the table while I go to the restroom or to the counter to order. I am working on getting him to go to the store (across the street) with him older brother or older cousin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 I would do it without a second thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Yes, I'd feel very comfortable leaving her alone for a few minutes in the middle of a restaurant, unless it's a truck stop diner in the middle of the night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luuknam Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 My youngest from around 6.5-7yo. My oldest was probably closer to 7.5-8, because he's special needs AND tiny, so he looks and comes across as younger to people. Roughly same ages for sending them to the restroom in a restaurant alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Yes. Unless there is something very unusual about the restaurant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Yes, I'd let my 10 or 8 year olds do that, and they go into the toilet by themselves too. Dd10 is allowed to stay home alone at this point. Her sister was babysitting at 12, so I figure if you can do that, being in charge of yourself at 10 is pretty reasonable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 yes I would Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Yes, definitely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waa510 Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Yes, unless the restaurant was really unsafe but I imagine I wouldn't be eating there anyway. I think I started letting them sit on their own and/or wander in a store around 7 or 8 yrs for oldest..youngest must have been 5 or 6? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monica_in_Switzerland Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Yep I am pretty overprotective but would be ok with that unless for some reason I had a bad feeling about the location of some specific person there. There's going to be staff around and security cameras. I think your gut matters a lot more than a survey from people who live in all sorts of areas (all over the world). It's not just about how old the child is. There are a lot of factors. It's important to learn to trust yourself to make these decisions. I agree to follow your gut. I would absolutely leave a 10 yo alone at the table UNLESS something just felt wrong- either a particular customer, location... anything that felt off in the mom-gut sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fralala Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 No, but only because generally I would ask my 10 year old to take the 6 year old to the restroom. I have heart-pounding anxiety about stuff like that by the way. (I've also let kids that age and younger sit alone in places potentially more dangerous, like theaters and swimming pools. It's not because I'm cavalier. Just the opposite.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Yes. If for some reason I needed extra assurance I'd ask the people at the next table to keep an eye on her/him for a moment while I hit the bathroom with the other one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guinevere Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 We travel a lot, and live in a not-so-safe area. I will sometimes leave my kids alone in public places, but I much prefer to leave them with a buddy. I'd let my 10 and 12 year old stay there, or my 10 and 9. I'd also let my 5yo stay with any of the older ones. My 7yo, however, always must be in my line of sight. Because she's SO unpredictable, lol. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 With zero hesitation. Probably starting at 6 or 7. FOR SURE by 8 it wouldn't be a second thought. I'm certain I left my oldest to watch one or more of her younger siblings at a table (or in a store) at 8. To me, asking this question of a neurotypical 10 year old suggests that there are some fears on the parental end that need to be dealt with in a healthier way. I've seen parental fears cripple children. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 I did this kind of thing all the time. I started leaving my kids at home alone for short periods of time at 10. At a table in public while I run to the restroom even younger. I can imagine situation where I might be uncomfortable, but that would have been extremely rare. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Sure, I've been comfortable with that since DS was maybe 7. I know my dad had to leave me alone at McDonald's tables starting when I was 5 or 6 (big for my age and pretty reliable). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 (edited) I can't say what you should do, but I only did stuff like that with my oldest child. The next 5, no, I kept them with me when in public. No regrets and would do the same again (as I did with my younger 5). Edited March 22, 2018 by lllll 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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