Do you send thank you notes after someone brings a meal?

[Ottakee]

Due to major things going on in my life right now a few friends have brought over meals. Do I send a thank you card to them or is personal thanks followed up by a text/FB message thanks enough? What is modern protocol?

[Arctic Bunny]

I would be happy with any of the above. I don’t think an official thank you card is necessary!

[Zoo Keeper]

I would be pleased to receive a thank you in any form, and at any time.

 

:grouphug:  I hope things can level out for you soon. 

[regentrude]

If I took a meal to somebody going through a difficult time, illness, newborn, it would not occur to me that this person should use their precious energy to write a card. 

 

A verbal thank you would be just fine.

[Just Kate]

I think a verbal thank you is fine. If you really want to do more, send a quick text. And I truly do hope that whatever you are dealing with improves. (((hugs)))

[medawyn]

I’m a huge fan of the thank you note, and I neither expect one nor write one when food is delivered for challenging times. Someone suffering grief or an illness or mama welcoming new baby has hands already full. If the person dropped food off on the porch and didn’t see a member of the household, a text or an e-mail is probably appreciated so that they know the food was received.

[Murphy101]

I do. I buy some simple blank thank you cards to keep on hand for such things. Now when I get around to it might be a good long while bc if I could manage being on the ball for everything they wouldn’t have needed to help me, right?

 

But I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a thank you card for doing that. And it didn’t bother me.

[nixpix5]

I do send them but I also don't expect them if that makes sense. I would never expect someone going through a challenge to send thank you cards. I just happen to like to do it :)

[marbel]

I often take food to people.  I don't expect any sort of thank you.  I have received some cards though, and it is nice but not expected and I certainly don't think less of anyone for not doing it. 

 

Once I was truly delighted when a mid-20s-ish single guy who was sick texted me 15 minutes after I dropped off his dinner to say "this is so good, just what I needed, thanks so much!"   I guess it was so delightful because it was unexpected.  

[Tanaqui]

Nowadays I think most people believe that, outside of a few rare cases, a verbal thank you in person (or over the phone) is enough.

 

Those rare cases are: Wedding gifts, baby shower gifts, your old fashioned Great-Great-Aunt Sally, and when the other person has really gone above and beyond. Did your friend have to hike up a mountain for three hours, fending off bears, to bring you a lovely meal fit for kings? Well, all righty then!

 

You are not in any of those situations. And, to top it off, you've got "major things" going on in your life. You can send them a note if you like but it's not necessary and I doubt they expect it. It would be nice if you followed up your in-person thank you with a phone call, but that's also not strictly required.

[KungFuPanda]

Why bring paperwork into such a nice gesture? Just SAY “Thank you.â€

Edited March 21, 2018 by KungFuPanda

[Lady Florida.]

I think a verbal thank you is fine. If you're on social media and if they don't mind being named publicly, then a shout out on facebook or elsewhere is okay. I don't think a written thank you is necessary.

 

I've been on the receiving end (when I broke my ankle and when my mom died) and the giving end of meal trains. A verbal thank you to the individual or a mention on facebook or group text has always been acceptable n my circle. I agree with Panda. Don't add paper to it. Just say thank you.

Edited March 21, 2018 by Lady Florida.

[marbel]

Oh, please don't call me to say thank you.  Send a text or email but please don't tie me up in a phone call.    :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  That will make me not want to do anything nice for you ever again.

 

(Kidding about that last bit.)

[Arcadia]

I sent SMS thank you more than a decade ago when I was on bed rest. My maternal aunt would send a thank you card when the medical crisis is over and she has recuperated but she is in her early 70s and it was many meals over months.

[Ottakee]

Glad to know I am ok with the text, FB message responses.

 

I have 3 major crisis situations going in here at the moment so just breathing, working and caring for my kods is about all I have got right now.

[Anne]

((((Ottakee))))

 

Sending hugs and prayers for you and yours....

 

Anne

[FriedClams]

Yes. I live in the Deep South. We send thank you notes for everything.

[Seasider]

I do BUT when I am the one who brings a meal, I certainly don't expect it. If someone is in need of a meal, they're likely also in need of a break from such unnecessary social extras. A heartfelt "thank you" in words when food is dropped off, or the next time you speak with them, would be quite sufficient.

[HSmomof2]

Any type of thank you would be fine with me.....spoken, text, email....I’ve had two occasions where I participated in a meal train for acquaintances (one new baby, one foot surgery) and I dropped off meals at the door to their dc. In these situations, neither ever said thank you in any way, and I did feel kind of bad. I got over it, but seriously, just a quick thanks in a text would have been nice.

[Murphy101]

Why bring paperwork into such a nice gesture? Just SAY “Thank you.â€

Often I didn’t get the chance to say it at the time.

[HS Mom in NC]

If you thanked them in person, nothing else is necessary.  If you weren't there to thank them in person, then send them a thank you some way: phone call, text, FB, note through snail mail, email, etc.

[LucyStoner]

I don’t expect it.

 

The only time I was upset not to be thanked was when I offered to take a meal to a homeschooling mom who had just had twins because she was online saying how isolated she felt and how sad it was mom’s weren’t home during the day to support each other. I knew her from a few homeschooling events and she’d friended me on FB. Then not only did she not say thank you verbally or otherwise (which I was ready to write off as being a tired pp mama), she complained about the food and me on local mother’s group. Food that I had prepared specifically for her dietary limitations. That chapped a little. All I had done was prepare two meals she could heat and serve and drop them off. It was weird.

[Ausmumof3]

No! The point of bringing the food is to make your life easier not make you another job.

 

Verbal thank you is fine.

[HSmomof2]

I don’t expect it.

 

The only time I was upset not to be thanked was when I offered to take a meal to a homeschooling mom who had just had twins because she was online saying how isolated she felt and how sad it was mom’s weren’t home during the day to support each other. I knew her from a few homeschooling events and she’d friended me on FB. Then not only did she not say thank you verbally or otherwise (which I was ready to write off as being a tired pp mama), she complained about the food and me on local mother’s group. Food that I had prepared specifically for her dietary limitations. That chapped a little. All I had done was prepare two meals she could heat and serve and drop them off. It was weird.

That’s just rude.

[Kassia]

I don’t expect it.

 

The only time I was upset not to be thanked was when I offered to take a meal to a homeschooling mom who had just had twins because she was online saying how isolated she felt and how sad it was mom’s weren’t home during the day to support each other. I knew her from a few homeschooling events and she’d friended me on FB. Then not only did she not say thank you verbally or otherwise (which I was ready to write off as being a tired pp mama), she complained about the food and me on local mother’s group. Food that I had prepared specifically for her dietary limitations. That chapped a little. All I had done was prepare two meals she could heat and serve and drop them off. It was weird.

 

Wow, that's really awful.  I'm sorry that happened to you.

 

I wouldn't want someone to spend the time writing a thank you.  If they did thank me or acknowledge my effort in some way it would be appreciated, but not expected at all.  

[gardenmom5]

i'd send a handwritten note.  i buy blank ones in bulk.   

 

they spent time cooking for me,the least i can do is take three minutes to thank them.

[LucyStoner]

Wow, that's really awful. I'm sorry that happened to you.

 

 

I chalked it up to finding out early she wasn’t friend material. I’m a pretty good cook and the food I made her are dishes people ask me to make so I didn’t get worried about that. I think it was a right kind of homeschoolers thing. When people show you who they are and all that...

[Katy]

I send notes but I don't expect them.  And I don't send them quickly either, maybe 3-6 weeks later, when the shock or the grief or the newborn exhaustion or whatever the cause was wears off.

[J-rap]

I don't think any protocol should be required for someone going through a really difficult time.  If it makes you happy to write a thank you note, then do so.  If it occurs to you send a text, do that.  If life is too hard to do any of those, that's fine too.  

 

 

[Pippen]

I don't think any protocol should be required for someone going through a really difficult time.  If it makes you happy to write a thank you note, then do so.  If it occurs to you send a text, do that.  If life is too hard to do any of those, that's fine too.  

 

This is the reason that whenever I take a meal I always let the recipient know to please not send a thank you note. ie If it's for a new mom, I always jot a note saying that it's a blessing for me to get to do this and in lieu of a thank you note, go hold the baby for 5 minutes. Most of the time they go along with the request.