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No RSVPs--how worried should I be?


Ravin
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That may be true for your particular school but it has never been true at any school I’ve taught at over the past 25 years.

 

And that may be true at your particular school but it hasn't been true in any public school I have worked in since 1988.  

 

It isn't a debate.....sheesh.  And I work in secondary ed, so maybe it is different in the elem. schools.

 

I am just saying that most places don't allow you to share other people's personal info with others.  I would not be happy if someone shared my info without my permission.  

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And that may be true at your particular school but it hasn't been true in any public school I have worked in since 1988.  

 

It isn't a debate.....sheesh.  And I work in secondary ed, so maybe it is different in the elem. schools.

 

I am just saying that most places don't allow you to share other people's personal info with others.  I would not be happy if someone shared my info without my permission.  

 

When you write No teacher . . . Ever, and it doesn't fit my experience, I'll say that.  Your post didn't 

 

As a teacher, if a parent asks for another parent's email, then I email the other parent and ask permission to share (or I just email and say "here's the asking parent's email, if you'd like them to have your email please reply").  I've never been at a school where that's against the rules, and at this point I've taught every grade PK3 - 12, and been a parent in public, public charter, nonpublic, and independent/religious schools.  The majority of schools I've worked at also had school directories, or the room mother passed around a piece of paper to put together a parent mailing list with a note that all emails would be shared. 

 

I teach HS now, but taught elementary for most of my career.  Now, in HS if a parent without complicating factors (e.g. a child with a disability that made this hard), I'd suggest they ask their kid to ask their friend.  But in elementary, I'd absolutely help.

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When you write No teacher . . . Ever, and it doesn't fit my experience, I'll say that.  Your post didn't 

 

As a teacher, if a parent asks for another parent's email, then I email the other parent and ask permission to share (or I just email and say "here's the asking parent's email, if you'd like them to have your email please reply").  I've never been at a school where that's against the rules, and at this point I've taught every grade PK3 - 12, and been a parent in public, public charter, nonpublic, and independent/religious schools.  The majority of schools I've worked at also had school directories, or the room mother passed around a piece of paper to put together a parent mailing list with a note that all emails would be shared. 

 

I teach HS now, but taught elementary for most of my career.  Now, in HS if a parent without complicating factors (e.g. a child with a disability that made this hard), I'd suggest they ask their kid to ask their friend.  But in elementary, I'd absolutely help.

 

THAT is not what you said.  You said you just share it, now you are changing your story.

Whatever, you seem to want to call me out and make this some kind of argument.  Then I will argue.....it is NEVER (yes, I said never) ok to share personal info from one parent to another without permission.  You did NOT say you gave permission first.  Now you are adding it in.

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That may be true for your particular school but it has never been true at any school I’ve taught at over the past 25 years.

I’m very surprised to hear that, because the schools I’m familiar with have the same policy Dawn mentioned.

 

Edited to add — Never mind! I just read your follow-up post that contained more information.

Edited by Catwoman
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THAT is not what you said. You said you just share it, now you are changing your story.

Whatever, you seem to want to call me out and make this some kind of argument. Then I will argue.....it is NEVER (yes, I said never) ok to share personal info from one parent to another without permission. You did NOT say you gave permission first. Now you are adding it in.

I agree. I responded to Daria’s earlier post before I got to the end of the thread, and my assumption was that she was saying that teachers are allowed to share students’ personal information with other parents at their own discretion — and that is definitely not allowed where I live unless the parents have agreed to it, and I am pretty sure (but not completely certain) they have to agree in writing.

 

I was as surprised as you were to read that teachers were allowed to share private information. I thought there had to be more to the story!

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THAT is not what you said.  You said you just share it, now you are changing your story.

Whatever, you seem to want to call me out and make this some kind of argument.  Then I will argue.....it is NEVER (yes, I said never) ok to share personal info from one parent to another without permission.  You did NOT say you gave permission first.  Now you are adding it in.

 

No, you said that teachers are not ever allowed to share information.  You didn't say it's never OK without permission.  You said it's never allowed.  I said that was not true at the schools where I taught.  I didn't specify the circumstances, I simply said that your blanket statement was untrue at the schools where I had taught.

 

Then, when you challenged me, I provided more information.  

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Scrap the party plans and take the three children somewhere really, really wonderful. Don't even worry about the people who might show up without having told you they were coming.

 

If option B would make the birthday child happy, I'd do it without a second thought.

lol I can totally imagine a sign on the front door:

 

"Sorry we missed you! We have taken the Birthday Kid and everyone who RSVP'd to Disneyworld! Catch you next time...."

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No, you said that teachers are not ever allowed to share information.  You didn't say it's never OK without permission.  You said it's never allowed.  I said that was not true at the schools where I taught.  I didn't specify the circumstances, I simply said that your blanket statement was untrue at the schools where I had taught.

 

Then, when you challenged me, I provided more information.  

 

To be fair, you "challenged me" first.

 

It isn't allowed.  If a parent calls me and says, "Johnny invited his homeroom class and I need the contact info for all the kids' parents" i am not allowed to provide it.  That was the context of this discussion.  

 

I still stick by my original statement that it is never ok to just share the info upon request.  With permission, sure.  But I definitely don't have time to contact each parent and ask if it is ok if I share their personal info with so and so.  

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That's exactly the reason I switched to inviting people by text or FB PMs.  People check their text messages dozens of times a day and tend to reply quickly to those in my experience. If my kid wants to invite someone, she gets the phone number.

My kid has failed to give me 2 invitations she got from friends at school.  I hope the parents don't assume I'm flaky about that kind of thing. I usually RSVP within a few hours of getting the invitations, but when my kid hands it to me 1-3 days after the party, I can't do anything about it.

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My kid is having a party this weekend. She handed out the invites on Sun. Everything with this group of people is last minute.  :laugh:  She's invited 8 kids. I got one call from a mom saying that her DD wants to come but is going to a play that one of the other invitees is performing in that day (I haven't heard from that mom yet :glare: ) and she was going to see if they could switch their tickets. I have one that I had to text the invite and haven't heard from that mom. I had two that I texted to let them know that their kid got an invite. One said yes that she forgot to text and the other is a maybe. So, I currently have 3 for sure, 2 maybe, 1 no, and 2 that I haven't heard from. 

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I definitely read these very same conversations on a listserv or three circa 2000 so I don’t know when people ever reliably responded to invitations but it was sometime before 2000.

 

I was planning a wedding in 2003, and there was the same "No one RSVPs" conversation then

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No teacher is allowed to give a parent contact info of another student or parent.  Ever.  

 

Really? My son's high school prints up a directory of every student, parents/guardian names, addresses, phone numbers and email.  You can opt out of all or part of it (I don't have our address listed) but from what I can tell, most people just have all their info in there. My kids didn't attend the local elementary or middle schools, but I've been told they print out the same directory. It get handed out to all students. If you go into the guidance office there are piles of them in boxes.

 

I remember back in the 1970s and my mom complaining that 'no one RSVPs any more' so I expect this is a problem that has always been a problem

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