Jack of all trades master of none?

[Momto4inSoCal]

My dd is very artsy. She plays piano, she takes a stem class where she is learning CAD, she is on a competitive dance team and she loves to paint and draw. The problem is she is involved in so much I feel like she is stretched and really is pretty middle of the road in all of them. She loves all of her extra curricular activities and does not want to drop any of them. She will be in 8th grade next year and as we approach high school I'm wondering if I should push her to focus on less activities so that she can master some of them? She is currently saying she wants to be a graphic artist so I don't know if I should drop some classes and focus on art more?

Edited March 20, 2018 by Momto4inSoCal

[Tanaqui]

Your daughter is, what, 13 years old? 12? She doesn't need to specialize yet! It is okay for her to be "middle of the road" with some or all of her activities. She's not a "jack of all trades", she's a Renaissance man girl - and she has her entire life to devote to just one thing if that's what she decides to do. Childhood is for exploring - not for laser focus.

[regentrude]

That's what childhood is all about - trying out many different things. It's great that she loves it all. You don't have to make her specialize. Some people are generalists and prefer to be reasonably good at many different things as opposed to developing one single talent.

[longwayhome]

Martin Cothran of Memoria Press wrote an article on this very question. It's worth hunting down and reading. Definitely let her explore and enjoy many things.

[hhm]

I think it really depends on the child. My dd was in B&M school for a few years and had a VERY rough time. Finding an activity that 1) has measurable goals, and 2) she has done very well at has done wonders for her self confidence. She still has a couple of other things going to ensure that she is well rounded, but those activities definitely take a back seat to her main hobby/sport.

[MinivanMom]

Does she feel stretched? Is she stressed out by juggling so many things? If she's feeling stressed, then it might be best to gently encourage her to drop 1 or 2 things. If she isn't willing to drop anything, then there may be a way to lower her level of involvement or her time commitment so that she isn't so stretched.

 

If she's happy and thriving, then I wouldn't say or do anything. Now is the time to explore lots of interests. Maybe she will find a single passion at some point, but she may just be happy doing lots of different things. I know being "pointy" is the trendy thing right now (versus the "well-rounded" of the past), but not all kids are pointy. Some kids are well-rounded, and well-rounded can be awesome.

 

My oldest daughter is like this. She's naturally a well-rounded kid with lots of interests. But she did reach a point around 7th or 8th grade where she was stretched so thin by all her activities that she was beginning to experience high levels of stress. She did need encouragement to step back a little bit. She wound up deciding to drop one activity entirely (spelling bee) and to lower her involvement in a second activity (moving from intense pre-professional ballet to recreational). She was still busy and well-rounded, but those 2 changes made such a difference in her stress levels. I continue to keep an eye on her level of over-involvement to make sure she's getting some downtime, but I don't think she will ever be a pointy kid. 

[serendipitous journey]

My dd is very artsy. She plays piano, she takes a stem class where she is learning CAD, she is on a competitive dance team and she loves to paint and draw. The problem is she is involved in so much I feel like she is stretched and really is pretty middle of the road in all of them. She loves all of her extra curricular activities and does not want to drop any of them. She will be in 8th grade next year and as we approach high school I'm wondering if I should push her to focus on less activities so that she can master some of them? She is currently saying she wants to be a graphic artist so I don't know if I should drop some classes and focus on art more?

 

I wanted to mention that she's developing a spectacular skill set, it seems to me, even if she sticks with the graphic artist goal.  Piano training will have a lot of benefits across the board; the physicality and movement of dance provide a wonderful intuition to graphic representations of bodies and of movement; CAD design will also add a level of competence (computers) and nuance (a familiarity with CAD/blueprint drawing, which is a distinctive way of visually representing complex objects). 

 

So if she's happy & well it may be a great time for her to be developing these talents/interests. 

Edited March 21, 2018 by serendipitous journey

[Sahamamama2]

My dd is very artsy. She plays piano, she takes a stem class where she is learning CAD, she is on a competitive dance team and she loves to paint and draw. The problem is she is involved in so much I feel like she is stretched and really is pretty middle of the road in all of them. She loves all of her extra curricular activities and does not want to drop any of them. She will be in 8th grade next year and as we approach high school I'm wondering if I should push her to focus on less activities so that she can master some of them? She is currently saying she wants to be a graphic artist so I don't know if I should drop some classes and focus on art more?

 

There's your plan -- keep on doing it all. Why not? One added bonus is that the motivation to do it all is built right into your daughter. 

Edited March 22, 2018 by Sahamamama2

[Momto4inSoCal]

Thanks everyone for the encouragement to let her stay in her activities. She's very social and an extrovert so she thrives being involved in all of these activities. I think I've been reading too much on the college boards and I was worried we needed a specialty right now to get into college. 7th grade is young though. Maybe the problem is more my introverted nature makes me want to be home more but with 4 kids it really just isn't possible.

[Farrar]

Colleges want to see that kids have a deep interest and commitment to their activities... but it doesn't have to be one, single thing - playing piano, dancing, and doing art all together could be fine if she shows a commitment to those things. If, all through high school, she flits between a large variety of different activities... yeah, that could be a drawback in applying to college (though not necessarily a death sentence!) but colleges don't care what she did in middle school for the most part.

[Meriwether]

I have long called my Dd14 a jack of all trades master of none. I've asked myself this, too. If she would devote more time to any one thing, she could be exceptional. She doesn't really care to be exceptional. LOL I've decided, at least for now, that I don't care. She enjoys her life.

[serendipitous journey]

Thanks everyone for the encouragement to let her stay in her activities. She's very social and an extrovert so she thrives being involved in all of these activities. I think I've been reading too much on the college boards and I was worried we needed a specialty right now to get into college. 7th grade is young though. Maybe the problem is more my introverted nature makes me want to be home more but with 4 kids it really just isn't possible.

 

:grouphug:

 

The college boards can drive a person mad!!!  

 

It is true that having a special passion is ONE WAY to interest good colleges in a student.  Remember all those years of focus on "well-rounded" students?  Well, those sorts of students are also valued by colleges, if the well-roundedness reflects the interests and drive of the child.  Good schools want a well-rounded, balanced student body.  This will included specialists, generalists, many sorts. 

 

If she's strong in her 3Rs and developing independence/study skills, it sounds like she is good for now! 

 

But: what about you?  If you need to simplify things a bit, then yes, it may be a good idea to scale back the childrens' activities (or the activities of one particular child -- SWB says she allowed one outside activity per child, for her own sanity).  Remember that you are a precious, unique person in your own right. 

 

In finding a good balance, I sometimes imagine myself as my own grown child.  If one of your children were grown and in your current situation, what would you want for her?  What would you suggest as a balance between her children and herself?  Don't know if that sort of thing will help you.  But: do try to take good care of yourself.  :)

[Targhee]

I wouldn’t push her to any one thing - let her sample all so later she doesn’t regret not trying. I would however watch for burnout. Encourage her in her independent pursuits of her interests too (eg not in classes or teams or whatever) so she can let go of things when needed - that’s harder to do with a paid class or a team commitment.

[Lori D.]

And, as a complete side note to "what should I do about DD" ... I am STILL a "jill of all trades", decades after middle school/high school. It's hard-wired as part of who I am. By pursuing different interests at different stages of school, and into college, and long after, while I'm no concert pianist or masterpiece artist for having focused on any one thing, because I can do many things competently, I have had success in every job I've ever had, and I have continued to enjoy learning new things and putting different skills together in different ways. So here's to the "jills of all trades" of the world! <insert clinking beer mugs together emoticon> :)

[Momto4inSoCal]

20 hours ago, Lori D. said:

And, as a complete side note to "what should I do about DD" ... I am STILL a "jill of all trades", decades after middle school/high school. It's hard-wired as part of who I am. By pursuing different interests at different stages of school, and into college, and long after, while I'm no concert pianist or masterpiece artist for having focused on any one thing, because I can do many things competently, I have had success in every job I've ever had, and I have continued to enjoy learning new things and putting different skills together in different ways. So here's to the "jills of all trades" of the world! <insert clinking beer mugs together emoticon> :)

 

Thank you for this! I read another article last week about getting into Ivy's (not our goal) and how the schools want focused interest. I really need to let go of my fears and let her be who she is. 

On 3/22/2018 at 2:44 PM, serendipitous journey said:

 

But: what about you?  If you need to simplify things a bit, then yes, it may be a good idea to scale back the childrens' activities (or the activities of one particular child -- SWB says she allowed one outside activity per child, for her own sanity).  Remember that you are a precious, unique person in your own right. 

 

In finding a good balance, I sometimes imagine myself as my own grown child.  If one of your children were grown and in your current situation, what would you want for her?  What would you suggest as a balance between her children and herself?  Don't know if that sort of thing will help you.  But: do try to take good care of yourself.  :)

What I've been trying to do is sign up for classes with friends so that we can carpool. I really do struggle with balance and I'm dropping some of my commitments next year to try and have more time off.