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Program to talk to kids about predators?


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A friend had an IEP meeting. An aid was fired for inappropriate conduct with a child. Her child wasn’t affected, but they really want to

have a formal talk with their kids that will inform them without upsetting them too much. Their eldest is automatic and has a tendency to stress out, but this is important sovtheyrecresearching now.

 

Do any of you have a good program/cartoon/website I can forward to her? It’s been so long since my kids were that little ( 7 and 9) and I think we did a scouting program.

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A friend had an IEP meeting. An aid was fired for inappropriate conduct with a child. Her child wasn’t affected, but they really want to

have a formal talk with their kids that will inform them without upsetting them too much. Their eldest is automatic and has a tendency to stress out, but this is important sovtheyrecresearching now.

 

Do any of you have a good program/cartoon/website I can forward to her? It’s been so long since my kids were that little ( 7 and 9) and I think we did a scouting program.

 

I used this dvd when my kids were about the same age:  https://www.amazon.com/Safe-Side-Stranger-Safety-People/dp/B0009LS9Y4

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I used a book called "My Body Is Private".  I first read it to DD when she was around 4, and then repeated it from time to time through about age 8.  We talked about it, too.  I told her that people who do that kind of stuff ALWAYS lie when they do it.  I said that it's very unusual, but sometimes it does happen, so she shouldn't worry about it but just be aware so she will recognize it.  I told her that there are three main lies. 

 

1.  "Bad secrets" lies.  That's when someone tells you a secret about something bad, and then tells you that they will hurt you or your Mom and Dad if you tell.  THAT IS ALWAYS A LIE, I told her.  I CAN ALWAYS HELP IF I KNOW ABOUT SOMETHING.  THAT'S WHY THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO TELL ME.

2.  "This is your fault" lies.  That's when someone makes it seem like they have to do something bad because you made them feel like it.  We all get to pick what we do.  When someone says that, they are trying to make you think that you did something bad when you really didn't, so that you won't tell me about it.

3.  "You're so mature" lies.  That's when someone says that you seem like a grown up and you're ready to do grown up things like this.  When someone says that, they are trying to make you proud and special even though they are doing something bad to you.  They want you to be too confused to tell me about it.

 

The solution to all of these is to come and tell me.  I promise that I will not get mad at you no matter what you say.  You know I always keep my promises!  And, I will help you in every way to be safe and happy, and will utterly protect you.

 

BUT!  (IMPORTANT!)  You have to let the person think that you agree with him and that you won't tell me.  This is the only time in life when you can lie, and in fact you MUST lie.  You have to make that person believe that you won't tell, and then get away, and tell me right away.  And then everything will be OK.

 

But you know what?  This almost never ever happens; I'm just telling you about it because it's good to have a plan just in case.  Just like fire drills.  Nobody I know has had their house burn down, but we still have a plan for if there is a fire, because being prepared is smart.  That's all.

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I used a book called "My Body Is Private". I first read it to DD when she was around 4, and then repeated it from time to time through about age 8. We talked about it, too. I told her that people who do that kind of stuff ALWAYS lie when they do it. I said that it's very unusual, but sometimes it does happen, so she shouldn't worry about it but just be aware so she will recognize it. I told her that there are three main lies.

 

1. "Bad secrets" lies. That's when someone tells you a secret about something bad, and then tells you that they will hurt you or your Mom and Dad if you tell. THAT IS ALWAYS A LIE, I told her. I CAN ALWAYS HELP IF I KNOW ABOUT SOMETHING. THAT'S WHY THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO TELL ME.

2. "This is your fault" lies. That's when someone makes it seem like they have to do something bad because you made them feel like it. We all get to pick what we do. When someone says that, they are trying to make you think that you did something bad when you really didn't, so that you won't tell me about it.

3. "You're so mature" lies. That's when someone says that you seem like a grown up and you're ready to do grown up things like this. When someone says that, they are trying to make you proud and special even though they are doing something bad to you. They want you to be too confused to tell me about it.

 

The solution to all of these is to come and tell me. I promise that I will not get mad at you no matter what you say. You know I always keep my promises! And, I will help you in every way to be safe and happy, and will utterly protect you.

 

BUT! (IMPORTANT!) You have to let the person think that you agree with him and that you won't tell me. This is the only time in life when you can lie, and in fact you MUST lie. You have to make that person believe that you won't tell, and then get away, and tell me right away. And then everything will be OK.

 

But you know what? This almost never ever happens; I'm just telling you about it because it's good to have a plan just in case. Just like fire drills. Nobody I know has had their house burn down, but we still have a plan for if there is a fire, because being prepared is smart. That's all.

WOW.

 

This is perfect.

 

Well done, mama!!

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