My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward (book by Mark Lukach)

[Jaybee]

Have any of you read this? I saw it on the "new books at the library" shelf the other day, and it caught my attention. I read it yesterday. The whole thing. It is a memoir of his wife's battle with mental illness. I have so many of you to thank for opening my eyes to mental illness issues that I had never thought about before, and had never been exposed to. I like to think that it has made me a more thoughtful and generous person toward others and their personal battles. It has, at the least, been very thought-provoking. Anyway, I just wanted to put a heads up out there about this, and say a thank you to those of you who either struggle with it yourselves, or struggle with it in your families, for being open and sharing with others.

[Jaybee]

Sadie, I found it very interesting. I thought of you often as I read it. I would imagine it might bring up difficult feelings for you, but perhaps you also might find some encouragement in it; he is definitely someone who would understand. I don't know this family, of course, but the book felt very honest to me. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I appreciate their courage in sharing their story. I will probably be pondering it for some time.

[Lizzie in Ma]

Yeah, I wouldn't wish the psych ward on my worst enemy. Even the good ones.

 

The book sounds interesting. I'd like to read it at some point, probably when I'm recovered from our last experience of psychiatric care.

 

Agreed, in our experience, the pits of hell. 

Just went on Amazon and read about the book.  And my immediate thought was to get it for our oldest who is newly married and dealing with the same thing.  Her husband was in the psych ward in December and has been in outpatient since. And is STILL wait listed to see the psychiatrist.

Edited March 5, 2018 by Lizzie in Ma

[Carol in Cal.]

This is the local book of the year.  Friends of mine have seen the author locally and really liked him.

I haven't read the book yet--have heard that it's All About Him, which is a bit awkward.  But also that it is true and well written.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Yeah, I wouldn't wish the psych ward on my worst enemy. Even the good ones.

 

The book sounds interesting. I'd like to read it at some point, probably when I'm recovered from our last experience of psychiatric care.

 

definitely not a good place

 

:grouphug:

 

I don't want to read the book.  I could write a book... :laugh:  I used to feel very compassionate, but I dunno...lately I just don't wanna....I'm a little burnt I think.  

[gardenmom5]

maybe it could help toward exposing others to what the daily dealing with mental illness is like - and building some compassion for the struggles.   I fear others would just use it as a reason to engage in more ostracism.

 

there is mental illness in my family (both of my parents were diagnosed and under regular care.) - dealt with psych wards.   

 

(and mil was a psych nurse. )

[Jaybee]

This is the local book of the year.  Friends of mine have seen the author locally and really liked him.

I haven't read the book yet--have heard that it's All About Him, which is a bit awkward.  But also that it is true and well written.

 

As to the bolded, it is but it isn't, you know? I mean, he talks about it from his perspective, and he's very honest in that he shares his own struggles--the resentment, the exhaustion, the hopelessness (and the hope), etc. He does talk about how it affects him, but that is part of what makes it seem authentic to me--he doesn't skip over how he sometimes got mad because he felt he was the only one giving in the relationship at times.

[Mimm]

As someone who has a family member who struggles with mental illness, it is very helpful to hear how it affects the people around the mentally ill person. No, my daughter's mental illness isn't ABOUT me, but it has affected every day of my life for years. It has cost me thousands of dollars, many hours of my time, more stress than I can even communicate, buckets of tears cried, lost nights of sleep, ruined special occasions, and much fear for the future.

 

I'm sorry if this post is making my daughter's illness "all about me." Her illness is about her. But all these things are still true and her illness has cost everyone in this family and will continue to cost this family. One of the most freeing things I ever read is that it's ok to feel these feelings, ok to acknowledge them. And I think it's ok to write a book about them.

[TechWife]

This is the local book of the year. Friends of mine have seen the author locally and really liked him.

I haven't read the book yet--have heard that it's All About Him, which is a bit awkward. But also that it is true and well written.

Memoirs generally are all about the person writing them. That’s the point.

[SparklyUnicorn]

As someone who has a family member who struggles with mental illness, it is very helpful to hear how it affects the people around the mentally ill person. No, my daughter's mental illness isn't ABOUT me, but it has affected every day of my life for years. It has cost me thousands of dollars, many hours of my time, more stress than I can even communicate, buckets of tears cried, lost nights of sleep, ruined special occasions, and much fear for the future.

 

I'm sorry if this post is making my daughter's illness "all about me." Her illness is about her. But all these things are still true and her illness has cost everyone in this family and will continue to cost this family. One of the most freeing things I ever read is that it's ok to feel these feelings, ok to acknowledge them. And I think it's ok to write a book about them.

 

It's all about her, but it is HUGELY about you too and what peeves me is how much this fact is not considered.  Growing up surrounded by it, nothing was ever about me or what I needed.  It was always about everyone else.  Best I ever got was a therapist saying "I know this is hard".  No, you don't.  And pointing out the obvious is not some sort of therapy.  Geesh.

[Jaybee]

It's all about her, but it is HUGELY about you too and what peeves me is how much this fact is not considered.  Growing up surrounded by it, nothing was ever about me or what I needed.  It was always about everyone else.  Best I ever got was a therapist saying "I know this is hard".  No, you don't.  And pointing out the obvious is not some sort of therapy.  Geesh.

 

And I think that was his point of sharing, even though he probably realized some people would think he was being selfish. Close to the end of the book, he talks about how mental illness impacts everyone in the family, not just the person who has it. And some of that impact is very serious. He was seeing a therapist himself, and they also saw one together. 

[Beth S]

As an avid reader, I have always appreciated book recommendations on the Hive.

I picked this up at the library yesterday, because of this thread.

Thank you.

[goldberry]

I enjoy books about people's experience with mental illness, and will check it out.  I've also liked Just Like Someone Without Mental Illness Only Moreso, and Shelter in Place, which is fiction.

 

https://www.amazon.com/Just-Someone-Without-Mental-Illness/dp/0385343809/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1520347754&sr=8-1&keywords=just+like+someone+without+mental+illness+only+more+so+a+memoir

 

https://www.amazon.com/Shelter-Place-Novel-Alexander-Maksik/dp/1609453646/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1520347781&sr=1-1&keywords=shelter+in+place+by+alexander+maksik

 

(I realized "enjoy" may be the wrong word.  I like to read these books because I want to understand more and it helps open my mind.  They're not exactly beach reads!)

Edited March 6, 2018 by goldberry

[Joules]

Would it be good for someone married to someone with PTSD?  I guess more specifically, if someone married to someone with PTSD has fallen out of love with their spouse and is considering leaving them, would this read push them one way or the other? Or just make them feel heard?  Does it by chance have a happy ending with the spouses together?

[Jaybee]

As an avid reader, I have always appreciated book recommendations on the Hive.

I picked this up at the library yesterday, because of this thread.

Thank you.

 

I'd love to hear what you think of it.

[Jaybee]

Would it be good for someone married to someone with PTSD?  I guess more specifically, if someone married to someone with PTSD has fallen out of love with their spouse and is considering leaving them, would this read push them one way or the other? Or just make them feel heard?  Does it by chance have a happy ending with the spouses together?

 

Well, I don't want to share too much about it from that angle, because I think going through the thought processes as he reveals them is part of reading it. I think the benefit of reading it would be that yes, I think they would feel heard. If you want to know more, send me a pm.