Is your spouse your best friend? Should they be?

[Georgiana Daniels]

Until we moved this year and have had to spend so much time apart, I wouldn't have realized. Having to live apart for his work and missing him desperately, I can say YES, he is my best friend. Fingers crossed that next week he gets to start living with us full time again. Of course I might occasionally want to tweak his nose at that point, but at least we'll be together  :lol:

[J-rap]

I wouldn't say my husband is my best friend-he is more "my person." I have found that women tend to want their husband to be their best friend and then they also have or desire close female relationships.

 

Do your spouses have a best friend outside of you? As I have gotten older, I have seen men lose their friendships because their wives get jealous or don't think that men should have close relationships outside of the marriage. Even family relationships, such as brother, sister or cousin can be limited by the idea that husband/wife are the only friends that each other needs.

 

I have friends, my dh has friends. But we are married to each other.

 

That's an interesting question too.  My dh is my best and closest friend, but I also have female friends who are very dear friends and who I really treasure getting together with and talking about things close to my heart, sometimes things that I don't talk to my dh about.  My dh doesn't nor did he ever have a best guy friend though.  Certainly not because of any jealousy on my part or anything like that though.  He just has never felt a need or desire.  He does have male pals that he does things with occasionally, and he does enjoy some old, long-term friendships that he's had for 30+ years, but he wouldn't call any of them best friends.

[MysteryJen]

I think this is interesting because my dmil commented recently that she is very glad that my dh and I have friends independent of each other. She has seen many lonely widows and widowers who are suddenly faced with building a social network and in her words, "it is so much work, lots of people just die."  :lol: Filters were lifted when she turned 80 and has 10 years of widowhood under her belt.

dh has guy friends, but his best and closest friendships are with women. That is what is seems to be unique. 

 

I always enjoy the wealth of experience here!

[Jean in Newcastle]

My husband also has a number of very close friends.  i want to say though that the idea of ranking friends as this one is "best" seems a bit weird to me.  One might be "best at" something or "best at giving me advice on ____________" or the "best person to share ___________ activity with" but I have not ranked friends in 40 years.  This is also why it seems a bit weird to rank my husband.  He is the best one to share certain intimate thoughts and activities with but he's not always the best one for every shared activity or even advice.  Why would I expect him to be? 

[goldberry]

He is, but we both have very close friends as well. He is my favorite person to hang with, bar none, but we both benefit from having confidantes/buddies who aren’t ‘on the inside’ of the relationship.

 

Sometimes a girl just needs another girl :)

 

What she said!

[hjffkj]

Off topic

 

But glad to see you here again. Maybe I missed all your posts, or something. I was thinking I hadn't seen you here in awhile

 

 

 

 

Not sure if he should be, but my spouse is.

Someone noticed my absence! Ha. I'm glad to be back.

You didn't miss any posts, I've kinda been absent most of Feb. A very bad cold and incredibly pesky sore throat knocked us all out for a good month. Then dh and I went Atlanta for a wedding and to celebrate our 10 year anniversary. Now I'm back but will be in and out since I'm trying to stay away from my phone a bit.

[hjffkj]

Do your spouses have a best friend outside of you?

 

 

Dh and I both individually have other very close friends. Friends we describe as our second best friends. We hang out with them often without the other around but we also hang out as a group on occasion.

[Crimson Wife]

I wouldn't say my husband is my best friend-he is more "my person." I have found that women tend to want their husband to be their best friend and then they also have or desire close female relationships.

 

Do your spouses have a best friend outside of you? As I have gotten older, I have seen men lose their friendships because their wives get jealous or don't think that men should have close relationships outside of the marriage. Even family relationships, such as brother, sister or cousin can be limited by the idea that husband/wife are the only friends that each other needs.

 

I have friends, my dh has friends. But we are married to each other.

 

I see no reason to be jealous of my DH's friendships, but he isn't close with any unrelated females. I would NOT be okay with him having a close friendship with an unrelated female because that's how many affairs start. Boundaries are important and I don't think it is wise for unrelated, heterosexual men and women to have a super-close friendship.

[footballmom]

I went through a painful BFF breakup last year and I realized coming out of it that my closeness with my BFF superseded my relationship with DH in not great ways.  DH lost a sibling after we were first married and he has struggled with processing it, I felt like I needed to handle everything for years.  I have learned to lean on DH and our relationship has grown a tremendous amount in the past year.  I really enjoy being around girlfriends and growing those relationships, but DH is my BFF and I really want to keep it that way :)

[Jaybee]

Yes, he is. I've known others who didn't consider their spouses their best friend, but still have strong marriages. In our case, however, we are both introverts. We have moved many times over the years of our marriage, and while I have had close friends, the moves and other circumstances have affected those friendships. Therefore, our family is pretty tight; not in an exclusive way, but because we always had each other. Now that we have adult kids, it's hard being away from some of them, because again, we are in a new place and I really miss them! I need a few other friends too, but he's the one I rely on the most.

[sassenach]

I was telling someone my password for an account, which answered the question: "Who is your best friend?" The answer was my spouse's name. :) She was surprised, and thought it was so sweet! It made me wonder, do most people view their marriage partner this way? Can it still be close and special if you don't consider them your "best friend?" Maybe they fall into different categories. Anyway, it just got me thinking. I don't think there's necessarily a right or wrong; I'm just wondering about other viewpoints.

If someone asked me that, I would answer with my best girl friend, because that’s just how I process what it’s asking. But if you asked me who I consider my closest life friend, I would say dh hands down. But I do think of them as 2 different categories. Not right or wrong, just how my brain organizes things.

 

As for the bigger question, I don’t think a spouse must be a best friend, but I do think it’s a great thing (and also pretty common if you factor in the different definitions that I touched on above).

[sassenach]

I think this is interesting because my dmil commented recently that she is very glad that my dh and I have friends independent of each other. She has seen many lonely widows and widowers who are suddenly faced with building a social network and in her words, "it is so much work, lots of people just die." :lol: Filters were lifted when she turned 80 and has 10 years of widowhood under her belt.

dh has guy friends, but his best and closest friendships are with women. That is what is seems to be unique.

 

I always enjoy the wealth of experience here!

Hmm, that’s wise. As an introvert, I can totally see myself in that position.

[Guest]

No because he doesn’t like to read and doesn’t know what’s so great about Harry Potter.

 

He is the person with whom I feel I can be the most real. I doubt he considers this much of a perk, though, lol.

[dirty ethel rackham]

Not my best friend. In some ways, I'm jealous of those of you who have that relationship. He's my rock, my partner, my co-parent. But not the best at emotional support and doesn't crave the same level of emotional intimacy that I do. That said, I don't have a best friend anymore. I'd have to say Dd17 is my closest friend and it is so challenging for me to be working so hard to get her launched, when a huge part of me wants to stop time and keep her with me.

 

Sent from my SM-G900T using Tapatalk

[hjffkj]

No because he doesn’t like to read and doesn’t know what’s so great about Harry Potter.

 

He is the person with whom I feel I can be the most real. I doubt he considers this much of a perk, though, lol.

Haha, my dh doesn't understand what is so great about Harry Potter but then again I don't understand his love of music. Those are about the only 2 things we don't share in common interest wise.

[Annie G]

Yes dh is my best friend and soulmate, but we have other close friends also. It doesn’t matter whether a spouse is a best friend or not- it’s not necessary in order to have a good marriage.

However, if your spouse isn’t your best friend, it is important to have someone you can talk to. Everyone needs to vent or bounce ideas off someone occasionally.

[marbel]

Yes dh is my best friend and soulmate, but we have other close friends also. It doesn’t matter whether a spouse is a best friend or not- it’s not necessary in order to have a good marriage.

However, if your spouse isn’t your best friend, it is important to have someone you can talk to. Everyone needs to vent or bounce ideas off someone occasionally.

 

 

The fact that I don't consider my husband my "best friend" has nothing to do with whether I can talk to him, vent to him, bounce things off him.   I do all those things.  He does them with  me.

 

He's not inferior to a 'best friend."  He's in his own category of person in my life, much more than a friend. 

 

The last person I considered my "best friend" is now deceased, so I don't know if we still would have that level of closeness.  She and I shared hobbies that I don't share with my husband (needlework) but otherwise did a lot of the same things I do with my husband (with some notable exceptions).  But our lives were not tied together. We didn't have common goals, such as raising children or planning our old age together.  It's just different. 

[maize]

I've been thinking about this some more, and realised that, while I like and love some individual men, and am pretty straight, so odds were I was always going to end up with a bloke, I generally prefer to spend my time and energy on women. So it's not very strange to me that my best friends are female, and not the bloke I live with.

 

I happen to think that's completely normal, though not in this thread :) But more generally, it's absolutely acceptable, imo.

Yeah, I think having a network of females is pretty normal for women.

[Annie G]

The fact that I don't consider my husband my "best friend" has nothing to do with whether I can talk to him, vent to him, bounce things off him. I do all those things. He does them with me.

 

He's not inferior to a 'best friend." He's in his own category of person in my life, much more than a friend.

 

The last person I considered my "best friend" is now deceased, so I don't know if we still would have that level of closeness. She and I shared hobbies that I don't share with my husband (needlework) but otherwise did a lot of the same things I do with my husband (with some notable exceptions). But our lives were not tied together. We didn't have common goals, such as raising children or planning our old age together. It's just different.

I’m not arguing your points. But I know some people who have a decent marriage but who cannot share a lot with their husband. One in particular can’t share about her struggles at work because her dh always tries to tell her how to solve her problems instead of just listening. Or he minimizes her struggles since her job isn’t ‘important’. Her best friend fills that need for her.

 

I didn’t intend to imply that a husband was inferior to a best friend.

[Crimson Wife]

I’m not arguing your points. But I know some people who have a decent marriage but who cannot share a lot with their husband. One in particular can’t share about her struggles at work because her dh always tries to tell her how to solve her problems instead of just listening. Or he minimizes her struggles since her job isn’t ‘important’. Her best friend fills that need for her.

 

I didn’t intend to imply that a husband was inferior to a best friend.

 

To me, the bolded is a "Mars vs. Venus" thing. Men tend to be more action-oriented while women tend to be more feeling-oriented. Obviously there are some "doer" women and some touchy-feely men but through some combination of biological influences and our culture's socialization, many (if not most) people wind up fitting the gender stereotype.

[Carrie12345]

Different categories, with overlapping attributes.

[DawnM]

I wouldn't say my husband is my best friend-he is more "my person." I have found that women tend to want their husband to be their best friend and then they also have or desire close female relationships.

 

Do your spouses have a best friend outside of you? As I have gotten older, I have seen men lose their friendships because their wives get jealous or don't think that men should have close relationships outside of the marriage. Even family relationships, such as brother, sister or cousin can be limited by the idea that husband/wife are the only friends that each other needs.

 

I have friends, my dh has friends. But we are married to each other.

 

Yes, but he is more of an introvert than I am.  He seems to not NEED them as much as I need my girlfriends.

[kewb]

No, he is not. This works for us. I wouldn't presume to know what works for someone else's relationship.

[lllll]

nm 

 

Edited March 11, 2018 by _______

[J-rap]

I definitely don't think there's a right or wrong way to be looking at all of this, by the way!  Of course a marriage can really work many different ways.  I love the insight I get on these boards.  Thank you for all your very thoughtful answers.

[Bluegoat]

Well, I don't know if he is.  He's a friend.  I have other friend's too though, some I have more in common with.

 

As far as 'should" - no.  There is zero reason a spouse needs to be a friend, it's a whole relationship in and of itself.  It is very helpful though if you like your spouse.

[Joker]

Yes, he is. We've been through some stuff the past few years that not many others really get so we've kept to ourselves even more than usual. 

 

Also, I've always been more comfortable around guys than girls. I don't really know why that is but I definitely am not someone that feels like I need any girl time. 

[Bluegoat]

I find it really interesting that many people are connecting "friend" with emotional intimacy.

 

I think of dh more like the way I think of my mom or sister or dad etc.  There is a long history, a lot of physical intimacy, in the sense of having actually lived together.  We have a lot of common memories and ways of doing things.  Often some shared basic values.  We care about the same people.  But also - we are more like facts to each other - you continue to be joined by these things no matter what.  Often, you've see each other at your worst, or in pain, seen their shortcoming or even felt the effect of them, and learned to deal with it, accept it, or let it go.

 

I think even when people don't talk about emotions that does create a certain kind of emotional intimacy. Like someone said above, you can be your most real with people like that.

 

Friends aren't joined to you in quite the same way, to my mind.  They are more about similar interests, or life stages, or looking at things a similar way.  Now, if I think about the friends I am closest to, they are often the ones that are most like family - people I lived with, share a lot of history with.   I was reflecting recently about all the connections between my family and that of ne of my best friends.  We lived together for years, studied together.  I know her siblings.  I've spent time with er parents and her dad married dh and I.  She is godmother to my dd, I am godmother to her nephew.  Etc. 

 

As I'm ageing more of my friends are falling into this kind of category, and of course you can be friends with family, but I'd still differentiate the two.  

[Bluegoat]

Yes, he is. We've been through some stuff the past few years that not many others really get so we've kept to ourselves even more than usual. 

 

Also, I've always been more comfortable around guys than girls. I don't really know why that is but I definitely am not someone that feels like I need any girl time. 

 

I've often tended to have more guy friends, but there are a few of my male friends I go do stuff with more often than dh.  They like to go do things that would make dh want to poke his eyes out.

[Joker]

I've often tended to have more guy friends, but there are a few of my male friends I go do stuff with more often than dh.  They like to go do things that would make dh want to poke his eyes out.

 

In our relationship it's usually dh who would want to do something that would make me want to poke my eyes out. Fortunately, he and ds usually both like those things so they do them together. 

[J-rap]

I find it really interesting that many people are connecting "friend" with emotional intimacy.

 

I think of dh more like the way I think of my mom or sister or dad etc.  There is a long history, a lot of physical intimacy, in the sense of having actually lived together.  We have a lot of common memories and ways of doing things.  Often some shared basic values.  We care about the same people.  But also - we are more like facts to each other - you continue to be joined by these things no matter what.  Often, you've see each other at your worst, or in pain, seen their shortcoming or even felt the effect of them, and learned to deal with it, accept it, or let it go.

 

I think even when people don't talk about emotions that does create a certain kind of emotional intimacy. Like someone said above, you can be your most real with people like that.

 

Friends aren't joined to you in quite the same way, to my mind.  They are more about similar interests, or life stages, or looking at things a similar way.  Now, if I think about the friends I am closest to, they are often the ones that are most like family - people I lived with, share a lot of history with.   I was reflecting recently about all the connections between my family and that of ne of my best friends.  We lived together for years, studied together.  I know her siblings.  I've spent time with er parents and her dad married dh and I.  She is godmother to my dd, I am godmother to her nephew.  Etc. 

 

As I'm ageing more of my friends are falling into this kind of category, and of course you can be friends with family, but I'd still differentiate the two.  

Beautifully said.  I think of some of my life-long best friends as more like family, for example.  In a category of their own.  If I met them today, we probably wouldn't even be close friends.  That's how much our personalities/life philosophies and interests have grown apart over 40+ years.  But we grew up together.  We were always there for each other, no matter what.  We've shared some of the most difficult and personal things together.   We're committed to each other.  We'll always be best friends, but in a very different way.  More like we've grown to be part of each other.  I suppose in reality, a lot of times that's what a spouse becomes, too.  I think it's beautiful.

 

And I agree, there can be a real emotional bond even if feelings aren't always discussed or openly shared.

[Jean in Newcastle]

There is a long history, a lot of physical intimacy, in the sense of having actually lived together.  We have a lot of common memories and ways of doing things.  Often some shared basic values.  We care about the same people.  But also - we are more like facts to each other - you continue to be joined by these things no matter what.  Often, you've see each other at your worst, or in pain, seen their shortcoming or even felt the effect of them, and learned to deal with it, accept it, or let it go.

 

 

 

I went to boarding school.  There are a lot of people that I've lived with (non family) who I've been through an awful lot with.  And yes, some of those people who I've known for over 40 years now, are my best friends.  (Some I don't like so much but still know more about them then most people.)  Others on my "best" list - a college roommate, people that I shared a house with at the end of college and through what I consider my formative years still, my seminary housemate. . .   

 

(PS - the bolded was by Bluegoat.  I tried and tried to keep the quote box but it kept disappearing on me. )

Edited March 1, 2018 by Jean in Newcastle

[creekland]

Hubby and I are absolutely best friends and love it.  We both have other friends.  We're just super glad to be married to our best friend.  It's made going through our lives together awesome through highs and lows and everything in between.  (This is actually something we've talked about together, esp now that we're empty nesting.)

 

I don't give a hoot what other people do or what they think.  They should be doing what they like (with friendships) - just as we do.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I dunno.  The question was "best friend".  I think of "best" as more than just someone I hang out with once in awhile.  In fact I don't call people friends easily at all.  It might take years of knowing someone before I'd refer to them as a good friend and it might take FOREVER until I call them a "best" friend.  So "I" mean the relationship I have with my spouse is in the category of "best" and "special". 

 

Splitting hairs in a way....

 

Family is an odd thing.  I will tolerate a lot more crap from family than from friends.  So I guess that does put them in a special category.  And although my spouse is in a special category, my love for him IS conditional.  (Unlike the love I have for my kids and perhaps some of my family members.)  There are things my spouse could do that would make me no longer want to be with him.  My kids could eat people and I'd still love them.  LOL  Although my line might be people eating...

[Garga]

I find it really interesting that many people are connecting "friend" with emotional intimacy.

 

I think of dh more like the way I think of my mom or sister or dad etc. There is a long history, a lot of physical intimacy, in the sense of having actually lived together. We have a lot of common memories and ways of doing things. Often some shared basic values. We care about the same people. But also - we are more like facts to each other - you continue to be joined by these things no matter what. Often, you've see each other at your worst, or in pain, seen their shortcoming or even felt the effect of them, and learned to deal with it, accept it, or let it go.

 

I think even when people don't talk about emotions that does create a certain kind of emotional intimacy. Like someone said above, you can be your most real with people like that.

 

Friends aren't joined to you in quite the same way, to my mind. They are more about similar interests, or life stages, or looking at things a similar way. Now, if I think about the friends I am closest to, they are often the ones that are most like family - people I lived with, share a lot of history with. I was reflecting recently about all the connections between my family and that of ne of my best friends. We lived together for years, studied together. I know her siblings. I've spent time with er parents and her dad married dh and I. She is godmother to my dd, I am godmother to her nephew. Etc.

 

As I'm ageing more of my friends are falling into this kind of category, and of course you can be friends with family, but I'd still differentiate the two.

I have basically no family. I grew up with only my mom and dad. I’ve now lived apart from them for 22 years (they moved away.). For all of my adult life it’s just been my dh and his parents. Sometimes his brother and wife show up—2 or 3 times a year for the big holidays. And honestly, none of them really ‘get’ me, not even my DH to tell the truth.

 

I have some friends from my childhood, and I think they might be filling the role of “family†for me that you outline above. As much as I long to, I don’t think I really understand what it’s like to have family, so “friends†fill in for that. The people that I was friends with in my childhood are the ones who ‘get’ me the way that a sibling or parent might. We helped form each other’s personalities as we grew up and we know each other’s history. Even dh doesn’t understand where I came from, because he met me after I was grown and has been around my family only rarely. But my friends from childhood know my parents and know how I was raised and we grew together.

 

My personality and my dh’s personality are such that I actually do not feel that I can be “me†in front of him in the same way I can with my oldest friends. And sometimes, I cannot be as much “me†in front of him as I can in front of women friends I’ve made more recently.

 

So, I don’t think of DH as my best friend, though honestly, I thought he would be and it’s been hard to realize he’s not. He’s in a different category as life-partner.

 

I am most me when I’m around the friend I knew from when I was 7 and the one from when I was 14. And those two “get†me in a way that no one else in this world does. And that’s important to me. It’s important to me to be understood, more than any other kind of intimacy or shared experience. Different people have different aspects of friendship or marriage or family that are important to them. Being understood is most important to me, and it's childhood friends to fulfil that need in me.

Edited March 1, 2018 by Garga

[Elizabeth86]

I just wanted to add that I am only close to 2 people at all and that is my dh and mom. I literally can't have a bond or attachment to multiple people. I only have so much of myself to give and I save it all for the close people and give none to the lukewarm people in my life. Of course this doesn't count my babies.

[mytwomonkeys]

I dunno. The question was "best friend". I think of "best" as more than just someone I hang out with once in awhile. In fact I don't call people friends easily at all. It might take years of knowing someone before I'd refer to them as a good friend and it might take FOREVER until I call them a "best" friend. So "I" mean the relationship I have with my spouse is in the category of "best" and "special".

 

Splitting hairs in a way....

 

Family is an odd thing. I will tolerate a lot more crap from family than from friends. So I guess that does put them in a special category. And although my spouse is in a special category, my love for him IS conditional. (Unlike the love I have for my kids and perhaps some of my family members.) There are things my spouse could do that would make me no longer want to be with him. My kids could eat people and I'd still love them. LOL Although my line might be people eating...

Love this post & the end made me snort with laughs😂

[Bluegoat]

I have basically no family. I grew up with only my mom and dad. I’ve now lived apart from them for 22 years (they moved away.). For all of my adult life it’s just been my dh and his parents. Sometimes his brother and wife show up—2 or 3 times a year for the big holidays. And honestly, none of them really ‘get’ me, not even my DH to tell the truth.

 

I have some friends from my childhood, and I think they might be filling the role of “family†for me that you outline above. As much as I long to, I don’t think I really understand what it’s like to have family, so “friends†fill in for that. The people that I was friends with in my childhood are the ones who ‘get’ me the way that a sibling or parent might. We helped form each other’s personalities as we grew up and we know each other’s history. Even dh doesn’t understand where I came from, because he met me after I was grown and has been around my family only rarely. But my friends from childhood know my parents and know how I was raised and we grew together.

 

My personality and my dh’s personality are such that I actually do not feel that I can be “me†in front of him in the same way I can with my oldest friends. And sometimes, I cannot be as much “me†in front of him as I can in front of women friends I’ve made more recently.

 

So, I don’t think of DH as my best friend, though honestly, I thought he would be and it’s been hard to realize he’s not. He’s in a different category as life-partner.

 

I am most me when I’m around the friend I knew from when I was 7 and the one from when I was 14. And those two “get†me in a way that no one else in this world does. And that’s important to me. It’s important to me to be understood, more than any other kind of intimacy or shared experience. Different people have different aspects of friendship or marriage or family that are important to them. Being understood is most important to me, and it's childhood friends to fulfil that need in me.

 

 

I don't know that I would necessarily say that the family designation is about getting you in the way you are talking about here.  I might actually say that is the particular place of the friend.  With family, it has more to do with the no-negotiable relation - I can't un-sister my sister even if I don't always get her.  

 

Now, I think the effect of that can be that over the years you end up with more insight into those people after all.  

[Spryte]

Yes.

 

And so much more than that, too.

[J-rap]

I have basically no family. I grew up with only my mom and dad. I’ve now lived apart from them for 22 years (they moved away.). For all of my adult life it’s just been my dh and his parents. Sometimes his brother and wife show up—2 or 3 times a year for the big holidays. And honestly, none of them really ‘get’ me, not even my DH to tell the truth.

 

I have some friends from my childhood, and I think they might be filling the role of “family†for me that you outline above. As much as I long to, I don’t think I really understand what it’s like to have family, so “friends†fill in for that. The people that I was friends with in my childhood are the ones who ‘get’ me the way that a sibling or parent might. We helped form each other’s personalities as we grew up and we know each other’s history. Even dh doesn’t understand where I came from, because he met me after I was grown and has been around my family only rarely. But my friends from childhood know my parents and know how I was raised and we grew together.

 

My personality and my dh’s personality are such that I actually do not feel that I can be “me†in front of him in the same way I can with my oldest friends. And sometimes, I cannot be as much “me†in front of him as I can in front of women friends I’ve made more recently.

 

So, I don’t think of DH as my best friend, though honestly, I thought he would be and it’s been hard to realize he’s not. He’s in a different category as life-partner.

 

I am most me when I’m around the friend I knew from when I was 7 and the one from when I was 14. And those two “get†me in a way that no one else in this world does. And that’s important to me. It’s important to me to be understood, more than any other kind of intimacy or shared experience. Different people have different aspects of friendship or marriage or family that are important to them. Being understood is most important to me, and it's childhood friends to fulfil that need in me.

I wanted to highlight that part because I agree with that.   My closest friends and I -- and I mean the friends I've had for years and years and years -- have certainly played a part in forming each other's personalities.  It's an interesting way to look at it!

[Ausmumof3]

Yes dh is my best friend and soulmate, but we have other close friends also. It doesn’t matter whether a spouse is a best friend or not- it’s not necessary in order to have a good marriage.

However, if your spouse isn’t your best friend, it is important to have someone you can talk to. Everyone needs to vent or bounce ideas off someone occasionally.

However it's equally true that it's good to have someone like that outside the marriage at times.

[DesertBlossom]

I wonder if there is any correlation between being an introvert and considering your spouse to be your best friend.

[Annie G]

I wonder if there is any correlation between being an introvert and considering your spouse to be your best friend.

Dh and I were both introverts and yes I think there is a correlation for us.

[Scarlett]

My husband also has a number of very close friends.  i want to say though that the idea of ranking friends as this one is "best" seems a bit weird to me.  One might be "best at" something or "best at giving me advice on ____________" or the "best person to share ___________ activity with" but I have not ranked friends in 40 years.  This is also why it seems a bit weird to rank my husband.  He is the best one to share certain intimate thoughts and activities with but he's not always the best one for every shared activity or even advice.  Why would I expect him to be? 

 

 

In my case it is only because of the length of friendship.  She is like my sister and so 'best friend' just always comes to mind.  But my husband is my 'person'.  

[hjffkj]

I wonder if there is any correlation between being an introvert and considering your spouse to be your best friend.

We are both about 50/50 on that scale. Love being social when we want to but love being home bodies when we want to. But are still best friends

[Bluegoat]

I too am very introverted and don't consider dh my best friend.

 

If I were to guess I'd say it's more a matter of how one thinks about marriage and friendship.

[maize]

I too am very introverted and don't consider dh my best friend.

 

If I were to guess I'd say it's more a matter of how one thinks about marriage and friendship.

Also just that personalities and relationships are different.