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Indigo Blue

What is your personality when you feel you are not getting along with someone?

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There seems to be two ways people behave in social situations when they feel someone may not like them but they're not sure, or if they know someone doesn't like them. I've seen lots of people who will say things behind someone's back, but then when they are around that person, I've literally witnessed them acting like their best friend! Actually, sometimes in some situations, this may not be the worst thing to do.....maybe the person is just trying to get along or whatever and just vented to someone. Most people, at least from my point of view, do play this "game" in life.

 

But if a person really doesn't like someone...I just can't do that. I can't. Sometimes it's a curse. I'm usually calm, quiet, nice, and polite. But if I become certain that someone has said something rotten behind my back or I can sense that they just don't like me for some unknown reason, I just can't "pretend" to like someone AT ALL. But I'm not mad them, and I'm not pouting. I can be around them and talk when necessary, still be polite, etc. But there will be no falseness about it. I just go to a place inside myself when I am around them where they can no longer get to me and hurt me. I become completely neutral toward them, neither warm nor cold. I guess what all this means is that if I'm not comfortable with someone, they will be able to tell. Whereas others can disguise that and no one is worse for the ware.

 

Another fault (I guess it's a fault) I have is that, sometimes happens when meeting new people. You know, those people that you meet with whom you try to be friendly and make them feel welcome, but they are standoffish. Well, they may be shy and it may take some time for them to be comfortable, too. But I will try a few times, and if they are still not receptive, I withdraw and stop trying. I do this because it makes ME uncomfortable and so I become insecure about whether they like me. So, there I go. Not angry. Not mad. Not judgmental of them. Just me going to my "safe" place and keeping to myself. I don't like this about myself sometimes, but sometimes it's a good thing, too.

 

If you don't like someone, do you pretend? Or if you don't like someone will they know it? 

 

As I get older, I find that I just want to stay in the "safe" place more and more. Sigh. It's just easier. Maybe I'm this way because of life experiences......

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I am big on boundaries and expectations that people are going to not be divisive. This is important to me and if it involves me I call people on it. I will wait until I have time alone with said person, or I ask to meet with them and let them know that my preference, if they have an issue with me that they are free to bring it up with me but to please not gossip or triangulate a situation.

 

Luckily I haven't had to do it too many times in my adult life but at the last place I worked there was a particular teacher that took issue with me because I had to have a difficult conversation with her about how she was treating one of her students. She had other friends that were teachers and did her best to pull people to her side. I had to have a conversation like this with both her and two other teachers she had pulled in. My directness caused her to cry and say I was "bullying" her which, ironically, she was doing to one of her students. I was completely shocked that a grown woman responsible for a room of 5-7 year olds thought a direct adult conversation was "bullying" She even threw up in the bathroom from "nerves" it was ludicrous. I don't think anyone had ever been clear and direct with her. She had always been allowed to talk behind people's back there and everyone just accepted it. So bizarre...

 

Anyway, I just cannot and will not let someone tear me down as I don't believe it is good for me or for the other person. I will be cordial but I tend to be honest and direct. I do not pretend to be friendly to get someone to like me. I am comfortable knowing that not every personality is going to mesh with mine.

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I've come to sincerely appreciate people who seem to be real and transparent . What a joy to be around someone like that. Someone you can really be comfortable around. I know a few like this. Someone once described another person (that I really love and is so easy to be around) that "so and so is like an old shoe". I had to think about that for a minute...an old shoe. An old shoe is comfy and doesn't pinch your feet. So someone who is easy to be around is like an old shoe....

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Just wondering is there anyone else besides me who honestly can't "pretend" to like someone? It's not that I won't...I can't. 

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Not quite either. If I don’t like someone I will be super polite but I am not pretending to like them. With my friends I do not stand on ceremony. With people I don’t like, it hold them at arm’s length politely. This is for people who just rub me the wrong way. They haven’t wronged me. So there is nothing to confront them about. It’s not their fault that I don’t like them and I am not going to treat them poorly. But I am not going to let them into my inner circle either. (Over the years I have learned to trust my instincts on this. )

 

Aa far as someone purposely treating me poorly, sometimes I ignore it so as not to give them the satisfaction. And sometimes I tell them to knock it off. I’m more likely to tell them to knock it off if it affects more than just me.

 

With actual friends, we talk things through But all my friends are adults who can own up to being a butthead (me included). We apologize and move on. Still as friends.

 

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Edited by Jean in Newcastle
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I don't really notice these things either.  I get along with almost anyone and mostly by being myself.  I will willingly modify some things for folks (like calling my MIL ma'am since she's from the south and expected it), but I don't really consider being willing to do things like that bad even though I do not care for the tradition.  I call it being social.  

 

There are folks who are so different from us that we'd never want to hang out together, but for basic getting along and working together?  I just haven't had a problem.

 

The few times someone has said something clearly untrue, I confronted them (most often my dad!), but I just accept them the way they are and it doesn't affect anything else in our lives.  I don't spend much time with these folks anyway comparatively, but I don't avoid them either.

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I've been having to deal with that at church.  :glare:  I know there are a couple of people who don't like me, whatever. I go about my day doing what I need to do and ignore them. Except for one who I have to deal with every week. I just keep her at arms length. The fakeness from her is so ridiculous. The bubbling over the top reaction when she sees me is so not her personality. I don't know why she does it. 

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Me.  :seeya:

 

There are people who just bug me ... maybe they are really fake, maybe they are mean, maybe they are just full of drama. When I'm stuck being around them, I just don't engage if I can help it. I answer if spoken to, but that's it. I can't go out of my way to pretend I feel warm towards them when I don't. I am working through this now, because I have a friend who offended me, and my first impulse is to avoid her. I am trying to not toss the friendship over it, though, because I know she didn't mean any harm. There is someone else who literally rolled her eyes at me and spoke sarcastically because apparently I did something to bother her (not sure what). I hope I'm not as transparent as she is! On the other hand, I would rather know that she's irritated with me than think things are fine while she silently seethes. Since I don't like her either, we're good. ;)

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Just wondering is there anyone else besides me who honestly can't "pretend" to like someone? It's not that I won't...I can't.

I know what you are talking about. Ive come across a lot of fake. I just try to understand that most people are trying to keep things civil for the sake of everyone around them.

 

When I was younger, I would literally say to peoppe, "I dont like you." I wasn't trying to be mean, I just couldnt fake it. Now that I am older, I have learned the art of being civil. I had to when I acquired inlaws. But, I dont pretend. Its a very fine line and hard to describe.

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I struggle with this, too. First, I am reserved until I get to know people personally, so I think I can come across as cold or unfriendly to new people. I do try to be aware of this, so when I am getting to know someone, I work harder to be social. I'm thinking of when I used to sit in the waiting room while my kids were in dance class. There are certain people that I got to know and would chat with, but if I didn't know someone well, I would just sit there and mind my own business and not engage.

 

I used to be really involved with parent volunteering at our old ballet studio, and there were a couple of people that I had to work with that I did not like. And I was certain that they did not like me, either. But we had to cooperate, so I would just be as businesslike as I could when I had to engage with them. If I didn't have to engage on a certain day, I might just give them a polite smile and not try to chat.

 

The director of the ballet studio was not one to mince words and didn't mind stirring things up. One day she called me into her office and said, "So and so thinks you don't like her." Well....I didn't. But I had to work with her on the project. After that, I tried to talk in a more friendly way to that person. But I felt uncomfortable with the dynamic. I was pretty sure that the other mom did not like me, either. She was a strident personality who rubbed me the wrong way and was uncooperative and hard to work with. My attempts to be polite but distant came across as dislike, to her, evidently.

 

There was another time when someone that I worked with came out and asked me if I was mad at her for something. Nope. I just found her annoying, so in the break room, I would read my book instead of chatting with her. After that, I tried to come across as friendlier. She was a nice person, and I didn't want to offend her, and I didn't need to draw into my shell so much when I was around her, so I made an effort.

 

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If I were around someone that I didn’t particularly care for or felt perhaps that they didn’t particularly care for me, I’m sure I’d still be kind and friendly (or I hope I would). For me, being friendly and being friends arent the same thing. I’m not inviting them to my house or trying to make plans to include them in my life, but when we are at the same place, I hope I’d behave with warmth and kindness. Everyone doesn’t have to like me and I’m okay with that.

 

As far as gossip and speaking poorly of people behind their back, I really hate that. I don’t treat people that way & if I heard someone had an issue with me I would probably discuss it with them and resolve it.

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Just wondering is there anyone else besides me who honestly can't "pretend" to like someone? It's not that I won't...I can't. 

 

I cannot pretend to like someone I do not like.  I even struggle mightily with even being nice or polite (a terrible fault) . I just can't.   I'd rather avoid at all cost.  It's gotten a little better over the years, but there's always seems to be someone who crops up in my life that i just cannot stand to be around and can't fake it. 

 

 I grew up with many people who "put on a face" in front of the person and then talked behind their back.   I witnessed that hypocrisy and I hated it.  My family had lots of boundary issues too - so they would go so far as to put up with people they didn't like in ways I found dysfunctional.   Because, ya know, Christians should love everyone.   

 

I really struggle with this.  

 

Needless to say, there's been lots of messages over the years to me about my negativity.  Including the not so veiled message of "Oh that person is wonderful, they *love* and accept everyone."  hint hint.  When I know said person dislikes the person saying this and complains (to me) about them.  Of course, it would be impolite for me to call the out.   :glare:

Edited by PrincessMommy
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I wanted to add, that if I suspect that someone doesn't like me I try to keep my distance.  I try to give them the same space that I would want if I were in their shoes.  

Edited by PrincessMommy
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Just wondering is there anyone else besides me who honestly can't "pretend" to like someone? It's not that I won't...I can't. 

 

I don't pretend.  I am polite when necessary, but I avoid dealing with them when I can.

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It really bothered me that other people were talking behind my back about whether I "liked" them or not at that dance studio. It was so juvenile and unnecessary. I was not being rude or dismissive or anything. I never said anything negative to anyone about the people I didn't like. I was evidently just not being friendly and bubbly enough.

 

I didn't like being judged based on how "friendly" I was. I'm not good at pretending to be buddies with people that I don't care for. Being polite should be sufficient, in my opinion. I shouldn't be judged for not being chatty with everyone.

 

I am an extreme introvert, and I also have social anxiety. It's natural for me to withdraw when I don't feel comfortable. I'm not going to confront someone, unless they are close family members (with whom I have a different kind of relationship), or unless there is an issue that has to be worked out to complete a project of some kind. So if I feel tension with someone, I try to minimize interacting with them, and when I need to interact, I try to keep it impersonal and professional. I can see how that can come across as "dislike" to some people.

 

I have had many jobs that required interacting with the public, so I can put on a pleasant and social manner with anyone, but it is an effort for me; it is a skill that I have learned. I am naturally friendly with my friends and don't need to make an effort with them. But with people that I don't know, or people that I find annoying, being polite and reserved is natural for me. If others take offense to that, and I am made aware of their feelings, I do try harder. But then I feel I am acting a bit fake, and I feel self-conscious and uncomfortable around them, knowing that they are judging my social behavior.

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Me.  :seeya:

 

There are people who just bug me ... maybe they are really fake, maybe they are mean, maybe they are just full of drama. When I'm stuck being around them, I just don't engage if I can help it. I answer if spoken to, but that's it. I can't go out of my way to pretend I feel warm towards them when I don't. I am working through this now, because I have a friend who offended me, and my first impulse is to avoid her. I am trying to not toss the friendship over it, though, because I know she didn't mean any harm. There is someone else who literally rolled her eyes at me and spoke sarcastically because apparently I did something to bother her (not sure what). I hope I'm not as transparent as she is! On the other hand, I would rather know that she's irritated with me than think things are fine while she silently seethes. Since I don't like her either, we're good. ;)

 

 

This exactly what I was trying to describe.  

 

For me there are layers... some people may just annoy.  I can be friendly and nice when approached.  Heck, I think half the world annoys me  :closedeyes:  Others grate on me or downright offend me- those are harder to be friendly towards.  I find, in my life, that those who grate also don't seem to understand that the whole world isn't going to love them.  And they become more irritating. 

Edited by PrincessMommy
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Just wondering is there anyone else besides me who honestly can't "pretend" to like someone? It's not that I won't...I can't. 

 

I can... but I won't.  Because I don't want to be that person.

In a post above  you said you admired people who were transparent and honest.  So I'd suggest be the change you want to see. Emulate the characteristics you admire. 

 

Transparency and honesty btw to me do not mean that one has to be a mean person or say to a person why I think they're awful, or to be nasty to them.  Just because something is true doesn't mean it needs to be said in a social or work context (& in other relationships as well). But you don't have to be fake friendly either.  I'm being honest to myself about who I like, who I admire, who I want to spend time with.  Other people I can be polite and pleasant with but I don't fake friendship.  I also try super hard to not gossip or say negative things about people. I think hard whether it's necessary to say whatever shitty thing is going through my mind about a person. 

 

Just be polite, get whatever you're there to do done, and move on. The "game" stuff gets old super fast. It was old in high school, and too many people get stuck in that mindset. It's ok to just stop it. 

 

 

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I don't pretend. I am polite when necessary, but I avoid dealing with them when I can.

This is what I do. I get along with most people and rarely can’t stand or strongly dislike someone, so it usually isn’t an issue.

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This is what I do. I get along with most people and rarely can’t stand or strongly dislike someone, so it usually isn’t an issue.

 

I can't say that I get along with everyone.  If someone doesn't treat others well, particularly those who are helpless.....I am not so nice.

 

And there was a group of HS moms who were vicious and I un-friended them on FB.....for my own sanity.

 

So, I am not always able to get along with everyone!  :laugh:

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Honestly I don't notice these things. 

 

Me. too.. I wonder if I;m defective in some way. I like everyone and everyone likes me. I know that can't really be true, but that's how I feel. On the rare occasion that there is friction, I'm so taken by surprise that I never know what to make of it. 

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Just wondering is there anyone else besides me who honestly can't "pretend" to like someone? It's not that I won't...I can't. 

I've never thought about it. 

 

To me, from the outside, both of your examples would look the same. Unless someone is purposefully cold and shuts me down in an obvious way, I would just think they are more reserved. 

 

I am myself to everyone, no matter what. Either there is a conversational spark or there isn't. I have never put much thought into why someone might not like to chat with me. 

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I smile and pretend my skin is not actually crawling, LOL.  But I will avoid the person all together if it can be done politely.

 

I don't engage in "talking behind her back" unless it's to explain something that needs to be known.  For example, there is an attorney who works on some of my clients who is a major back-stabber, as well as a slacker.  He will screw something up by his delays and then try to blame it on me.  I have to tell people what's up for damage control purposes.  Then there's this one lady at work who just exhausts me with her high-energy one-upmanship.  We've had complaints from clients about the same issue.  Her boss needs to know what the issue is.

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I don't pretend to like someone I don't like.  I just treat them cordially, unless they are obviously crossing boundaries that are important to me and confrontation becomes unavoidable.  Generally, though, I avoid them, if at all possible.  Because it takes a LOT of effort for me to be 'cordial' to someone I actually dislike.  IOW, I do my best NOT to engage such people.

 

An example.  Our landlords are crusty, old (80's) New Englanders and they live directly across from this house we rent from them.  They are also retired public school teachers.  I'm very Southern, and hs'ed 5 of my kids all the way, K-12.  After dh and I had several conversations with them, and based on other things they said and did when interacting with me in particular (concerning my being Southern and my having hs'ed our kids), I got fed up with their condescending, mocking attitudes towards me.  I tried ignoring the attitudes, but they continued to the point of actually baiting me.  Finally, I realized there really wasn't much I could do except avoid them.  Which is what I do.  I rarely interact with them, don't do the waving thing, nothing.  I only have to say "Hi" to one of them if I'm outside and accidentally come up from the dungeon at the same time one of them is sticking the electric or water bill in the storm door.  I'm sure they know I don't like them.  How could they not?  Because I couldn't hide it even if I wanted to.  

 

Dh, however, seems to have an uncanny ability to blast through such behavior as these people exhibit, ignoring it, and just doing as he pleases.  I can't even fathom his thought processes ...  All I know is that if I ever point out the lousy way they act, his standard response is, "I don't care."  And he continues to 'act' as though he likes them, even though I don't think he really does.         

 

 

This. This is what I can't do. I'd be more like you rozes. Not angry or anything...totally at peace.....just done. (And baiting you like that sounds awful). But it would take A LOT for me to get to this point, so I'm not petty or childish at all. Just can't pretend once it gets to a certain point.

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I can... but I won't.  Because I don't want to be that person.

In a post above  you said you admired people who were transparent and honest.  So I'd suggest be the change you want to see. Emulate the characteristics you admire. 

 

Transparency and honesty btw to me do not mean that one has to be a mean person or say to a person why I think they're awful, or to be nasty to them.  Just because something is true doesn't mean it needs to be said in a social or work context (& in other relationships as well). But you don't have to be fake friendly either.  I'm being honest to myself about who I like, who I admire, who I want to spend time with.  Other people I can be polite and pleasant with but I don't fake friendship.  I also try super hard to not gossip or say negative things about people. I think hard whether it's necessary to say whatever shitty thing is going through my mind about a person. 

 

Just be polite, get whatever you're there to do done, and move on. The "game" stuff gets old super fast. It was old in high school, and too many people get stuck in that mindset. It's ok to just stop it. 

 

 

 

 

I agree!!

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I've never thought about it. 

 

To me, from the outside, both of your examples would look the same. Unless someone is purposefully cold and shuts me down in an obvious way, I would just think they are more reserved. 

 

I am myself to everyone, no matter what. Either there is a conversational spark or there isn't. I have never put much thought into why someone might not like to chat with me. 

 

 

You might be an old shoe! lol

 

Man, I wish I could be like that.

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I smile and pretend my skin is not actually crawling, LOL.  But I will avoid the person all together if it can be done politely.

 

I don't engage in "talking behind her back" unless it's to explain something that needs to be known.  For example, there is an attorney who works on some of my clients who is a major back-stabber, as well as a slacker.  He will screw something up by his delays and then try to blame it on me.  I have to tell people what's up for damage control purposes.  Then there's this one lady at work who just exhausts me with her high-energy one-upmanship.  We've had complaints from clients about the same issue.  Her boss needs to know what the issue is.

 

 

Introverts's nightmare, lol! Sounds like you have to be a bit tough so you can do your job effectively. :)

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I don't have this kind of drama in my life.  I can be nice to people if I don't know them, or even if I don't particularly like them, and it's not fake.  I can always find something to talk about with most people and I don't dislike very many people. What other people may or may not think of me doesn't effect me or my life.  Maybe if they were saying things and it got back to me, but that sort of dynamic seems so far in the past  that it would be almost comical if it happened now.  Maybe I'm just oblivious or busy or too emotionally lazy to dedicate energy to this sort of thing?

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Dh, however, seems to have an uncanny ability to blast through such behavior as these people exhibit, ignoring it, and just doing as he pleases.  I can't even fathom his thought processes ...  All I know is that if I ever point out the lousy way they act, his standard response is, "I don't care."  And he continues to 'act' as though he likes them, even though I don't think he really does.     

 

I'm definitely more like your dh.  My general thoughts are that everyone gets to be themselves - even me.  If I want that right, I have to allow them the same right.  When folks seem to want to bait (or whatever), I kinda ignore it and/or take it on purpose (as if not being baited), often defying stereotypes they've held.  I never minded folks who criticized homeschooling or who would quiz my lads, etc.  I encouraged my lads to enjoy it.  We broke though a lot of ice.

 

We travel and love natural things.  We have friends who never want to leave home and if they do, they want cities.  It's ok.  We're Christian and relatively conservative ourselves.  We have friends who most definitely aren't either.  I don't go along with the bar hopping crowd as it isn't my tribe, but we can still be friends and enjoy tales told.

 

I also don't hold grudges.  I've seen far too many who do and what it does to THEIR life (not the one(s) they're holding the grudge against) to even remotely want that in my life.  Offend me today (on purpose or accidentally) and we can still be friends tonight, whether inner circle friends or not.  Life is too short to ruin it by being judgmental, which is why those in my family - like my dad - hold grudges.  It may or may not be similar to anything in this thread.  I don't know about those situations.

 

Nothing of this is fake.  It's just who we are.  I can dislike what folks do without disliking them.  That said, we have no one I know who smokes in our inner circle of friends IRL, so that inner circle is probably partially selected or rejected by certain choices (like the fact that I can't stand cigarette smoke).  There are folks I know and enjoy the next step out who smoke though.  They are nice enough not to smoke in my direct presence or when I'm downwind.  If they purposely blew smoke in my face I'd keep IRL contact more distant even if we could still converse via phone or text.  I'd probably also let them (and anyone else if it came up in conversation) know why since it's a fact.  It doesn't mean I'd be fake in our relationship otherwise.  It's just honesty.

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I "get along" with most people.  It doesn't mean that we are friends.  It means that we don't not get along, if that makes sense.  I am friendly in general to people.  That doesn't mean that we are friends either.  I'm just a friendly person.  I will not force chattiness on people who don't want chattiness.  But I can talk to most people. 

 

Occasionally there are people who cross boundaries.  I will mildly set up a boundary but if that is ignored then I will be more forceful.  Not mean.  But direct if necessary.  (Of course this doesn't often come up with really casual acquaintances because . . . well it just doesn't.) 

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I don't have this kind of drama in my life.  I can be nice to people if I don't know them, or even if I don't particularly like them, and it's not fake.  I can always find something to talk about with most people and I don't dislike very many people. What other people may or may not think of me doesn't effect me or my life.  Maybe if they were saying things and it got back to me, but that sort of dynamic seems so far in the past  that it would be almost comical if it happened now.  Maybe I'm just oblivious or busy or too emotionally lazy to dedicate energy to this sort of thing?

 

Any time I have been a part of a parent group, there has been drama.  Scouts, homeschool groups, and sadly, even church groups.

 

Sad but true.

 

And in one group, it was going really well until one woman came in and decided to make it cliquy.  It went way downhill after that.

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These answers have been really interesting to read. I’m trying to really think of specific circumstances where someone just rubbed me the wrong way. Both times these people were never my friends, and I viewed them as very selfish people that caused a lot of trouble. One was a total mooch off of a dear friend of mine. The other was a woman that was just bad news for a friend of ours (he ended up marrying her and lives in regret to this day). Neither of these individuals ever did anything to me personally, but I really had no respect for either of them and found them incredibly manipulative. I was always kind and friendly to them, but only because we were in a group setting and people I cared about had relationships with them. Otherwise, I can’t think of any instances where I’ve been at actual odds with someone that I didn’t know well. If I found someone off-putting, I’d still be friendly to them regardless, but I would not seek a friendship with them outside of the current way we interact (i.e. church, work, homeschool group or what have you).

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Just wondering is there anyone else besides me who honestly can't "pretend" to like someone? It's not that I won't...I can't. 

 

I don't pretend.  I could remain civil though.

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Dh, however, seems to have an uncanny ability to blast through such behavior as these people exhibit, ignoring it, and just doing as he pleases.  I can't even fathom his thought processes ...  All I know is that if I ever point out the lousy way they act, his standard response is, "I don't care."  And he continues to 'act' as though he likes them, even though I don't think he really does.         

 

Mine too! According to him, everyone loves him; people act weird sometimes but nothing actually bothers him, and life is hunky dory. He did get employee of the year after being in his new job a scant 6 months, which apparently ruffled some feathers, so I don't doubt that he is well liked. HOWEVER, when I interact with him and his coworkers, I see when his jokes fall flat and when he says/does awkward things, or when people give him the side-eye. Last Friday, we went to a dinner thing, and one of his co-workers went out for a smoke break. He made a joke about her cancer break. I noticed that she didn't laugh or smile, and I asked him about it later. "Oh I always call it that! Haha!" I told him to NEVER SAY THAT AGAIN. Oh-my-goodness! And he took a phone call while we were on a group tour, and although he stepped away, he was still pretty loud. People were definitely giving him the side-eye. He did not care one bit. I was embarrassed for him.

 

I also notice when people are being domineering, or when they are full of BS. I get miffed by rude drivers, bad customer service, and boastful people. It really doesn't register to him unless it's over the top. So, what I'm basically saying is that he is kinda ignorant and very happy, and I am extremely perceptive and thus overthink everything & take everything personally. I wish I could be ignorant and happy sometimes.

 

Maybe people do like him so much because he is low-drama and uncomplicated. I hate drama but keep finding it. Even when we've had obnoxious neighbors, they always think he is the greatest and think I'm a B***, because I am the one who can barely give a half-smile and he is the one cheerfully waving.

Edited by ondreeuh
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I can count on one hand the times when I have had an immediate visceral reaction against someone I've met in the last 50 plus years.  And each time I found out much later that there was a really good reason why my spidey sense had gone off, even though there was no overt indication of something wrong with the person. 

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I can't pretend... but I don't operate on vibes, either.  When conflict arises with people I need to trust, I push in and take the direct route. 

 

Most of those conversations have ended with a mutual feeling of relief on both sides, but they don't always.  Sometimes you walk away from those encounters forced to accept that the person isn’t someone deserving of your trust.

 

   

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I have been in retail and specifically in healthcare for 20+ years.  I can be nice to just about anyone.  I really don't care what most people  think of me.  I try to be true to myself, kind and gracious towards others.  I act the same around just about anyone. I am More friendly to my friends of course, that has to do more with familiarity. 

 

 

The only time I really bugs me, is when it is someone in my personal life who doesn't like me.  I really don't even care if they dislike my personality (I can be pretty direct and I know that bothers some people).  I do like knowing though, so I can somewhat modify my behavior around them.  I know someone in my extended family feels like I am overly critical of their family of origin (rooted 100% in a misunderstanding), so I try to make sure to not bring up the topic of family with them.  It is easier to do that, than to potentially offend them everytime they are around me, and continue to create strife when none is needed. I have worked hard at this and it has paid off and the person even said "love you" as they were leaving the other day, so I am hoping to continue to rebuild this particular relationship as the years go on.  

 

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