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S/o gender disappointment--who named your babies?


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There was a lot of compromise, as we don’t really see eye to eye on names. :lol: Neither of us wanted to name the kids something the other one didn’t like.

 

For DS12, we were trying to decide and couldn’t agree. One night, we were having dinner with FIL and he blurted out a name. We both liked it, so we went with it. :)

 

I’m not sure how we got DS11’s name. We both agreed on it, though.

 

DD7, I finally got a girl, and I knew what I wanted her first name to be. DH picked the middle name.

 

Lily, who is two weeks old today, was suggested by one of the other kids. DH and I were pleased to find that we both liked it. DH picked Grace for the middle name, which I also like.

 

No more naming babies for us. Now we can argue over naming dogs and cats. :lol:

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We both agreed on names before we named our children.

 

The 3rd child was the toughest because we thought we were getting a girl (adoption) and we had decided on a girl's name and both agreed.  And then it was a boy!  We had to scramble a bit.

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We agreed together.

 

I don't remember who suggested DD's name.  We had two picked out, and decided to wait until she was born to pick which one.  I did pick her middle name.  It is her birthstone.  She is talking about changing her name to that when she goes to college, but I am not sure if she is serious or not.

 

I also don't remember who picked DS15's name.  It was a name that we had floated around when I was pregnant with DD.  His middle name was after DH's uncle who died shortly after we found out I was pregnant.

 

Youngest was picked by me, but DH was fine with it.  It was a name that I really liked a lot.  We had actually decided to go with a different name but then when he was being born via emergency c-section I told DH I really wanted to go with the other name I liked. DS's middle name was after my grandfather who was dying of cancer at the time, but it is also a family name on both sides.

 

There are a couple names I wish I could have used but we never had more children and one or two of them DH would have vetoed.

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It’s been pretty mutual for us overall. My oldest son’s name is one my husband really, really liked. Then my favorite names my husband didn’t like, but we had some other names we both liked. My husband’s favorite grew on me and I did pick it from out short list.

 

But my husband and I both got a lot of pressure from a couple of people to choose a family middle name, and my husband gave in and chose the middle name his dad wanted. I don’t like it and I don’t like the spelling, but I don’t care, we just don’t use it.

 

Then for my twins, my aunt vetoed a baby boy name I wanted. It would have been perfect! But not worth hurting my aunt. It is my uncle’s name and she wanted it to be available for if my cousin has a son. That is sensible to me and I wanted it more for the Bible story but my son’s name now is from the same Bible story, so it is the same significance for me.

 

I picked my daughter’s name. My husband strongly disliked almost every name I mentioned, and I hated almost every name he mentioned. We had really different ideas of what kind of girl name to choose! Basically I wanted old-fashioned names and he wanted more common names.

 

We ended up with an old-fashioned name with a nickname my husband really likes.

 

And he was supposed to pick her middle name, and had a middle name he loved and put a lot of thought into. But after she was born I suddenly hated it and wanted a different name, and we changed it to a family name before filling out the birth certificate.

 

Then we got a dog and my husband chose the name, it is a popular girl name that he has always liked. It is Emma. We do both love this name but I vetoed it for our daughter because there were so many babies with that name, and I knew she would always be one of 3-4 girls around with that name. But it is a beautiful name.

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Cool is a relative term. :lol:

 

I think it would be very cool to honestly be able to say, "Danger is my middle name" or "Trouble is my middle name". 

 

Instead they both have my last name as their middle name. My last name starts with a "m". So their middle name starts with a "m". They have the same last name as my Dh. My Dh has a middle name that starts with a "m". So their names when written with initials are: 

Daddy M. Lastname

Youngest M. Lastname

Eldest M. Lastname

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I named our daughter, he liked it.

 

We named our first son together, I picked the middle name.

 

He named our second son (he wore me down on a name that I grew to like over a few years!) but I picked the middle name.

 

He named our third son but I liked the name too. I picked the middle name.

 

Dh didn't really want middle names for the kids at all, I did so I picked them.

We had great fun naming our babies, I would love the chance to do it again! (Alas..)

Edited by LMD
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All of our children have variations of family names.

 

Oldest DD has the feminine version of my uncle's name. Neither of us loved it but it was the only one we could agree on.

 

DS has a name that starts with the first 2 letters of DH's name and ends with the last 2 letters but is different in the middle. DH really, really, REALLY wanted a Jr. but I vetoed that. I suggested the name that we wound up using and DH grudgingly accepted it.

 

Youngest DD has a diminutive of my aunt's name. I dislike it but DH reminded me that I'd chosen DS' name so it was his turn to pick.

 

I am not looking forward to naming discussions if we are successful at having baby #4.

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Ds 1 - Dh insisted if our baby was a boy he would have the name of dh's brother that passed away. First or middle he didn't care and I could pick his other name so I chose first name and dh chose middle name

 

Ds 2 - We couldn't decide on anything, it toom forever. Dh finally made a suggestion I was *ok* with and it stuck. I picked out the middle name.

 

Dd - She was easy because we knew our girl name from the first pregnancy. I suggested it and dh loved it. The middle name changed with each pregnancy but our girl name was always the same. After my Mamaw passed away I wanted to give a baby girl her middle name and dh agreed and then at the last minute dh decided he liked my Mamaw's first name even better than her middle name so we did that.

 

This baby, I made a sughestion for a boy name and dh said only if I

he could choose this name if it's a girl I agreed. I picked the middle name.

 

 

We both agree we both have to agree on all names. Neither of us want to have a baby named something we don't like. So far so good.

Edited by Elizabeth86
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Both of us suggested and if the other had a violently negative reaction it was off the table. All of our children have my maiden name as a second middle name because I wanted it there :)  

 

DD #1 I suggested both his grandmothers' names because I loved the names. He switched the order because he liked the sound better and he was right.

 

DD #2  I knew the middle name was going to be the same as mine & my mom's (second daughter tradition.)  I also gave her a name with the same first initial as mine, so she has the same initials as I do.  I figure it is a subtle way of naming a kid after myself, right? :) We had 3 names that started with that initial and because she arrived very early, we hadn't decided.  The nurses made a card for name #1 & we all called her that for a little bit & decided we didn't like it, did the same for name #2 & name #3 until we decided which one suited her.  Dh's grandmother came to visit us in the hospital and really disliked the name and let us know.  That was fun.

 

DD #3 Named after my grandmother and she was so excited because out of 6 children, 32 grand children, and, at the time ,11 great grand children none had been named after her.

 

DS was a bit funny.  Every time we were pregnant dh wanted Wolfgang for a boy.  I said absolutely not.  Wolfgang, Wolfgang, Wolfgang was all I heard until we found out the sex.  I told dh (in complete jest) that God would not give us a boy until he gave up on the Wolfgang.  By the time we were pregnant with our son we only chose a girl's name (Katherine Grace) because we had three girls already & we assumed that we were little girl parents.  When the ultrasound showed he was a boy everyone expected dh to be over the moon.  All he said was, "Huh.  I really like the girl's name we picked."  Dh refused to go with a Jr. but his middle name is his grandfather's so I suggested first names that had the same first letter as dh so the two would have the same initials.

 

I have always felt that barring a long line name tradition the person who has to carry the baby for 9 miserable months, go through labor & delivery and the joy of breastfeeding a cross between a staple gun and a blowtorch gets to have the final say in the name.  Also if your family follows the Western tradition of all children having the father's last name then his family is covered.

 

Amber in SJ

 

 

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It's so interesting to me about the perspective. Some folks say they named the child b/c it was their suggestion--but dh agreed.  I think of that as more like naming the child together.

 

My dh never engaged in the naming until the child was almost born.  I had always loved babynames and thought about it a lot--particularly with my first.  It wasn't as much fun as I thought it would be bc dh had/has strong opinions.  For boys names there are seriously only 4 boys names we both like and we completely disagree on the spelling of one of them.  I decided that since we were only planning 4 children, we could worry about it with number 4 if we had 4 boys.  Our second was a girl, which settled that problem.

 

With number 1, I suggested both names--the boys name I had always loved and wanted to use for 20 years. Fortunately it was one of the 4.  Unfortunately, bc of a family suicide that year, it was not the right timing.  We chose another of our list of 4.  His mn is my dad's.

 

Number 2, we did not use the girl's name we'd picked out. We used a name that I felt God had told me my first dd would be named.  It could have been seen metaphorically, but it felt right to use it.  Fortunately, dh liked it.  Alternately, I would have loved to use her mn as her first and her first as a mn, but her mn is the name of dh's college girlfriend and he did not want to use it as a fn.

 

Number 3, right timing for boy's name that didn't get used above.  Mn was my fil's mn.

 

Number 4.  I don't know who suggested the name.  It was one of the girl's names that always floated around.  We could have 20 girls and not run out of girl's names.  Our older 3 have Old Testament names, so even though there were other strong contender names and I'm not a huge theme person, we went with another Old Testament name.  And we decided to give her a Biblical virtue mn like the first dd (and another one dh had vetoed as a fn). 

 

So, we look like a theme name family, but easily could have not been.  In the end I stuck with a theme, but only b/c I really, really liked both names and why not at that point.

 

So, I'd say we both named the dc. I can't imagine one person deciding on a name the other hated and having that used.  We are all about compromise and talking things to death here. LOL

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I picked all the names and DH vetoed most of the ones I liked. He got less and less say the more kids we had, but I purposely chose names he wouldn’t hate, too.

 

We are about the same.  I had a list of boys' names that I loved, and my DH vetoed ALL of them with the first baby.  :glare:   Then we went on to have two more boys...the last one was really hard to name!  With our daughter (4th child!), he consented to a name I loved, one that he probably would not have agreed to had she been our first.  Not complaining!   :laugh:   

 

The bottom line for us was that we both had to agree to the name. I don't think I could live with it any other way.  Naming our boys was not the easiest process, but I'm happy that we found names we could both live with for the long run.

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Marriage is so complex, and comical.

 

 

When I was pregnant with the eldest, I announced to my husband he had a choice: he could pick the first & middle names and the baby'd have my last name; or he could pick the last name -- i.e., go with his own -- and I got to pick the first and middle.

 

He was -- it's hard to convey just how unusual this is, for him :lol:  -- rendered speechless.

 

But the fact of the matter was: I was fully prepared to go with either choice.  Whereas he was only prepared to go one way.  So that's the way it went, for the first and both the subsequent.

 

(I did choose names he more-or-less liked; one of them is actually named after one of his grandmothers.  Still: my decision.)

 

 

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Dh didn't really want middle names for the kids at all, I did so I picked them.

 

 

Ha! Does he have a middle name? Does he know what it's like to go through life without one? In every form you ever have to fill out forever and ever you get to write one of the following in the Middle Name (or Initial) blank -

 

None

NMN - for no middle name

----  <-- a dash indicating there's nothing to put there

N/A

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We did together. We have the same taste and came up with the name for a girl that we both loved. When a late ultrasound revealed we were having a boy, we changed a letter to make it more masculine. It wasn't until much later that it occurred to me we could have just kept our original name, which as it turns out used to be somewhat common for boys.

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Ha! Does he have a middle name? Does he know what it's like to go through life without one? In every form you ever have to fill out forever and ever you get to write one of the following in the Middle Name (or Initial) blank -

 

None

NMN - for no middle name

---- <-- a dash indicating there's nothing to put there

N/A

Lol!

He does have a middle name that he doesn't especially like. He doesn't like sharing his first name with his father either... his youngest sibling doesn't have a middle name and is fine with that.

My dh and in laws are just very bluntly practical people, he literally couldn't see the point of giving them another name just because it's the done thing. We actually argued about it with the first child but I filled out the forms and he went 'whatever'

Interestingly, his sister felt the same and didn't give her kids middle names! Youngest sibling hasn't had any children yet so I don't know how that will pan out.

Edited by LMD
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Aboslutely joint agreement, with all family members proposing names.  DH and I both have complete veto power and so far we've been fine.  Two kids were renamed at  the hospital - they were born and we both said, nope, name we picked out does not suit, and chose a second one that day.

 

My maternal grandmother and grandfather had a funny agreement.  The first child born was my mom (a girl, obviously), and my grandmother said okay, here's what we'll do, I'll name all the girls and you (grandfather) can name all the boys.  Worked for my mom, she has a nice name.  Next 4 kids (the rest of their kids) were boys, and boy do they have some doozies. 

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For our first we both made lists separately. Then we compared lists and crossed off the ones that were no’s (veto power). I crossed off a lot more because he put things like Bono. Then we looked at the names that were on both lists. There were only three names for boys that were on both lists, if I remember correctly. We talked about those and there was a clear favorite that we both agreed on. 

 

For the other two, I thought of the names but he liked them. I would say we named them together, although technically the suggestions were initially mine. 

 

We had kind of the opposite problem from a lot of people. Dh has a very uncommon name. Everyone would recognize it but no one has it anymore. He loves having an uncommon name so he really wanted the kid’s names to be similarly uncommon. We didn’t totally succeed at that, especially with our daughter. But it automatically ruled out a lot of names. 

Edited by Alice
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We each throw out names we like until we agree and can find one we like.

DH chose child 1 and 2. I loved the names he suggested.

Child 3 was my suggestion.

Child 4 was a joint effort. There was a name I liked but it didn’t quite work with our last name. DH came up with a variation of hat name and it was perfect.

Child 5 was his suggestion.

Child 6 was my suggestion.

Child 7 is still undecided although my suggestion is currently at the top of our list.

 

For our names we’ve just chosen names we liked and that seemed to fit our kids. No crazy rules or anything. And we’ve never argued about names. We’ve had fun coming up with names together.

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I did, completely on my own.

 

To be fair, if we'd had a boy, my husband would have had more of an opinion.

 

ETA: With my youngest, he didn't even pretend. He asked, "So what are you naming this one?" :)

Edited by Mimm
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We really came to agreement on the first - he was due Christmas day - so we went with a  Christmas name.

The second baby was much the same I made a suggestion based on my middle name and dh liked it. 

 

The third baby is the BEST story - my oldest was four and came for breakfast and told me that he had a dream and that now we had to name the baby Charlotte. We did not know if the baby was a girl yet. BUT Charlotte was my grandmother's name (he did not know that) so it was great all the way around. 

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When I was expecting ds17, I bought The Baby Name Survey Book.  It is quite a bit shorter than the big name book and it told the meaning of the name and people's perceptions of the name.  It was really quite useful.

 

I gave the book to dh and told him to use a pencil to cross out every name he didn't like, and I would choose from the rest.   :D

 

We did discuss the names and made sure that we were in agreement.

 

Dh's middle name is his father's first name; we continued the pattern and ds17's middle name is dh's first name.  Dd15's middle name is the same as mine.

 

Dh and I liked different middle names for dd11.  After she was born I decided to let him have the name he wanted since I had gotten so many of the names that I wanted.  Recently, when I told dd11 the name I would have chosen for a middle name, she made a face and said that she was glad Dad won.  

 

A friend of ours chose dd10's name.  He heard me griping about naming her when I was expecting.  There is girl's name that has been passed down in my family in one form or another for at least six generations, but I didn't like the way it sounded with our last name.  Our friend suggested an altered form of the name that I hadn't though of, and that's what we named her.  She is now the seventh generation with a form of the name.  :)

We had the same book!

 

Dh went through and circled the names he liked which were few. :lol: On my due date I finally looked and picked both a girl and boy name since we didn't know the gender. Oddly, they are both names I loved before kids but never would have expected dh to like. I have always been pleased with the book method for me it worked great! ;) They sound rather alike which my kids complain about. I suspect it's because they were both named the same evening. My family has a middle name for girls so we used that. For the boy name I just picked something off Hubby's list that sounded good with the first name. We liked what we had so when we found out the second was a boy our naming was already done!

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It was a joint decision on DD15's name. It was a name we loved and talked about when we were dating, and thankfully it fit her.

 

For DD12, we couldn't find out the sex beforehand (absolute torture for me!), so we discussed and discussed name options but couldn't decide. Finally, after she was born and we finally knew but still couldn't decide, before we were discharged from the hospital, we gave oldest DD a choice of three names--two we'd been talking about for a long time but never felt quite right, and one we sort of threw in at the last minute. DD chose the last-minute option, and we started to say no...and then we realized we all loved it! We just hadn't considered it much, but the names we HAD been considering didn't fit. So oldest DD named youngest DD, and for her middle name, we gave her a version of oldest DD's name in Italian. 

 

Thank goodness DD12 was a girl, because we couldn't even come close to an agreement on a boy's name! 

 

And what's really funny is that while DD15's name is one of the most popular in the country, we've never met another one (except for in passing). Yet DD12's name is nowhere near as popular, and we've met so many girls with the same name or very close variations (like Mary/Maria/Marie).

 

 

Edited by ILiveInFlipFlops
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My dh has terrible taste in names and wanted to name my son AFTER A PURPLE DINOSAUR. I kid you not. So I decided the names and he had to deal with it. To me, the person doing the birthing decides, end of discussion. If the sperm donor has good suggestions, they can give input.

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I suggested names, and dh then vetoed about 95% of them. Lol. So my names, but he had a lot of input.

 

All of ours have one family name from his side and one from mine. The baby is a girl. She has two family names, plus a virtue name. They tease her that she is the most loved because three names.

Edited by Zinnia
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My husband literally wanted to find the trendiest names he could and name our kids that. Like he’d look at the Top 10 for the year and want all of them. His first and middle names are after his grandfathers, and very old fashioned. He hates his names, and wanted to find names that wouldn’t make our kids feel different than everyone else. We did wind up all three times picking names in the top 10, but i almost never meet other kids with their names.

 

My parents thought they were giving me a unique and old fashioned name in 1981—they didn’t know anyone with my name, and thought they were coming up with some beautiful name that no one else would share. Before I was born, in my baby book, my mom even wrote how she loved the name they’d picked but was concerned that other kids would make fun of me because it was such an old fashioned name that nobody else would have.

 

 

It’s Sara.

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Usually, I made a list and we took turns crossing them off until there was just one left. 

For most, I chose the middle name after a family member. 

Except for #2. we had both boy and girl names picked out as Ben was supposed to be Rachael, and for the last two, we didn't find out.

For #2, we barely had a boy name and we were really sure he was a boy. 

For #4, D was in charge of making the decision and I had veto power. I helped him a lot though because he really had no clue how to go about choosing names. 

Edited by desertstrawberry5
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Did you know that some countries have specific laws related to names.

 

The following is the law In Denmark. (Please correct me if I’m wrong)

 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naming_law

 

Under the Law on Personal Names,[13] first names are picked from a list of approved names (18,000 female names and 15,000 male names as of Jan 1st 2016).[14] One can also apply to Ankestyrelsen for approval of new names, e.g. common first names from other countries. Names must indicate gender, cannot have surname character, and must follow Danish orthography (e.g. Cammmilla with three m's is not allowed).[15]

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Did you know that some countries have specific laws related to names.

 

The following is the law In Denmark. (Please correct me if I’m wrong)

 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naming_law

 

Under the Law on Personal Names,[13] first names are picked from a list of approved names (18,000 female names and 15,000 male names as of Jan 1st 2016).[14] One can also apply to Ankestyrelsen for approval of new names, e.g. common first names from other countries. Names must indicate gender, cannot have surname character, and must follow Danish orthography (e.g. Cammmilla with three m's is not allowed).[15]

Yes, French law at least used to be like that as well. There was an exception if you could show that a name you wanted that was not on the list was in common use elsewhere. I think my parents had to do that when they registered my brother's name.

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Our children came with names (they were adopted). We kept one of their birth names for the middle name and chose a new first name for each of them. We bought a baby book, and we each went through it and highlighted names that we liked, then discussed and debated until we had a decision. There were quite a few names that we liked but that didn't sound right with our last name.

 

I think I would have chosen a different middle name for one of the children. We used the original middle name, and now I think I like the original first name better. But there were reasons for our choice, and DD likes her name, so it's fine!

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Yes, French law at least used to be like that as well. There was an exception if you could show that a name you wanted that was not on the list was in common use elsewhere. I think my parents had to do that when they registered my brother's name.

NZ has a bunch of names you are not allowed - mostly titles- justice/Justus, prince, saint, etc. Other than that it can't be obscene or have more characters than fit on the form.

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We always volleyed back and forth until we collected some maybes and/or eventually hit a joint yes.  Our veto powers were supposed to be equal, but I we had a lot of difficulty with boys b/c dh REALLY wanted a Junior or to use his father's name.  I really didn't want a Junior because I didn't want to separate my oldest son from a previous relationship... whose father happens to have the same name as my FIL!!!  So there was a little drama with each of the boys.  But the actual names chosen were joint agreement.  I probably threw most of them into the ring first, because I was always eager to find one early on, while he wasn't in much of a rush.

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Ha! Does he have a middle name? Does he know what it's like to go through life without one? In every form you ever have to fill out forever and ever you get to write one of the following in the Middle Name (or Initial) blank -

 

None

NMN - for no middle name

----  <-- a dash indicating there's nothing to put there

N/A

My grandparents had a disagreement regarding my dad’s middle name. It must have been quite a fight and my grandmother just gave my dad the initial for the name she wanted. It has been a pain for his children even. Yes, 20 years after my dad’s death we still get questioned when filling out legal documents. Because my mom died recently there have been quite a few of those occasions. It’s embarrassing to have to say that you do actually know your father’s middle name and the form is really correct.

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DD9 - I found and fell in love with the name ~7 years before she came along. DH knew long before we even got married that I wanted that name for my first girl and he liked it, too. 

 

DD5 - We took longer to settle. There were a few names I really liked that DH did not. There were some he liked that didn't click with me. But from the first time I said her name out loud we both said yes immediately. We still disagreed about her middle name. He said no to the one I really wanted. We finally settled on one we both agreed to, but to this day I'm a bit sad we didn't go with the one I really wanted and I kind of don't like her middle name now. I liked it at the time, so it wasn't DH bullying me into it or anything, it just wasn't my first choice. But her middle name has a bit of religious connotation and we are no longer religious, so it kind of bugs me. And I didn't notice the way it flowed into our last name at the time and I don't like that, either. (FTR, I wanted Niamh but DH did not want her forever spelling and giving pronunciation. I still think it would have been fine as a middle.) I wish I'd fought a little harder on that one!

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