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Riverland

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Thank you for giving us all a glimpse at what a beautiful, amazing person your sweet daughter was. You did not fail her. She was loved and cared for and treasured, and she knew that. You gave her a good life, and it was not your fault that it was cut short. If she could, I know she would tell you the same thing. :grouphug:

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She sounds like she was an awesome kid. I'm so sorry that she is no longer with us among the living. It's so hard when no one has answers.

 

(I do want to say that there is a big difference between being a failure and failing to be perfect. No one expected you to do impossible things perfectly, based on your non-existent flawless understanding of the situation, and your imaginary ability to predict the future. Well, maybe you expected that of yourself... but it might be worth at least trying to challenge your own conclusion about 'failure' eventually.)

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You did not fail her.

 

I know I am right about this. We lost our son to cancer 17 years ago and we also thought we had failed him. If we had just done this/tried that/etc etc. We still feel this way sometimes but it is simply Not True.

 

I lean on Lamentations 3:22-23. Maybe it will encourage you when you have the space in your heart and mind - 

 

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
    his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.

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Praying for you in your grief right now. It is clear to everyone here that you were an amazing mom who did all you could with the knowledge you had. Life is unfair and cruel. She was very blessed to have you in her corner all those years fighting for her. I am so very sorry for your loss.

Edited by CaliforniaDreaming
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I'm adding my prayer as one more drop in the river of prayer and positive thoughts that are flowing for you right now.  I pray that, someday, you will look back and have peace, knowing that you did not fail her.  On the contrary, you were awesome and amazing and did everything you could do to give her all she needed and more.  I pray that you sense the presence of Him who provides that peace.

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I'm so sorry for your loss.  Eventually I hope you can come to a place without feeling guilt; you were clearly a wonderful mother and advocate for her.  When my dad died of pneumonia after having largely unmanaged COPD for a decade, I felt guilty.  I think it is very common to feel guilty when someone you love dies, and I hope it will fade for you somewhat eventually as it has for me.

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What a privilege to know your daughter through your touching words. What a beautiful person she was and I applaud your efforts to get her involved in many activities that became her passion.  I hope you can somehow collect her artwork into a lovely book you and others can treasure.  You are an awesome mom.  I am sorry for your loss and pain that only a mom can truly understand. You will reunited in heaven someday and what a glorious reunion that will be!

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