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Elizabeth86

anyone else?

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Caught in the staying with their kids til they fall asleep trap?? Omg. Not looking for ideas to stop because they will be big and not need me soon enough, but what a time suck it is some nights. Sigh. I hope they look back on this fondly some day. I'm sure I will.

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I remember falling asleep too. There were the children who would awaken as soon as I got up. Or the one who always wanted to play with my hair to help himself fall asleep. Or the one who would say no when I'd go out the door. lol Yeah, you'll miss it, because then they'll be wishing you'd leave their room. 

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Nope, I refused to get that started.....my sister did and was still doing it when her daughter was 10yo.   That was the last time I heard her mention it, but i think she was still stuck doing it at 12ish.    If she still wanted to that would have been one thing, but I know she was quite done, but stuck in a habit she couldn't find a way out of.

 

 

Edited by Tap
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I don't know where I fall on the nature/nurture spectrum with this one.  It's never really been an issue in our house, but I have a lot of friends who do struggle with it, some with kids who are well into double digit ages.

 

I did have kids who got *out of bed a lot.  And there have definitely been nights where dh or I fall asleep with them while talking or reading or whatever.  But that was because we were tired, not because they weren't, lol.

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I co-slept with my youngest till he was nearly 4. He is 4 now and I miss it at times. :( My older son I was having to stay with till he fell asleep when I was in radiation therapy (he was just shy of 2). He didn't like that I wasn't home when he woke up so that was his issue then. Since then he has had his moments and he is terrified of EVERYTHING (his brother is a bit braver then him) but I don't have to stay with him for the most part now that his brother sleeps in the same room as him. 

 

I say enjoy it while you can. They grow up so fast! 

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I did that with my older kids and made sure I didn't get stuck with it with my youngest pst very early infanthood.  It was really very negative for me in a lot of ways and I was pretty angry at Dr Sears for a while who never really mentioned that following his advice could lead to that or what to do about it.  Running back and forth between a toddler, small child and a baby all night while dh was away for months at a time is probably one of my worst parenting memories and the lack of sleep led to my worst parenting moments.

 

I can have a cuddle in bed with the youngest but she'll sleep by herself for quite a while, or with my dh or even my other kids, so I can shower, go out occasionally to a class or a pub, get some work done even if dh is away, and just sit in the evening for a bit.  

 

 

Edited by Bluegoat

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I’ve never done that with anyone but a colicky infant. Won’t even get that crap started. Nope!

 

I’m sorry you’re stuck - audiobooks on headphones are your friend.

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Didn't do it with our oldest ones. Then we had twins. They went to bed great while they were still in their cribs. But when they could climb out and we put them in beds? Oh my. Bedtime became a big party. We tried everything we knew to try, then finally realized that the most efficient way to get them to calm down for sleep was to lie down between them until they fell asleep. I think it lasted a couple of years.

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I hated when I got stuck staying in bed with my kids until they fell asleep and I'm pretty positive I will never miss that part of my life. Currently, I stay in their room reading until 8 or 8:30 and kiss everyone goodnight. Our 3 year old is just now getting used to it.

 

Dh still stays in there with them if he puts then to bed. In trying to break him of that habit so we can have alone time before 10pm

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I could never do that. I have to admit, sometimes I felt really guilty that I couldn’t bring myself to co-sleep with them. But after spending every single waking minute (theirs) with them I was absolutely spent.

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I remember trying to break that habit when my son was five. He slept so little that there were a few times I was afraid to drive. I tried the advice of sitting in a chair and gradually moving it toward the door. I remember my son talking, talking, talking on and on and on every night for hours until one night I fell asleep and slumped right out of the chair onto the floor! I was so exhausted, I almost gave up and slept right there. It wasn't until he was twelve that he got a handle on his fears and could quiet his racing mind enough to be alone after a short goodnight. My daughter, who is the youngest, always went right to sleep which is why I am still sane.

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I refused to do this with my older three, but having a gap between kids changes you.  You realize just how fast it all goes.  I laid in youngest's bed with him until he was 7.  Then it was only because we switched to bunks and he was on top.  Sometimes we will read in my bed before he gets in his though.  

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I slept with all of my kids for a loooooooooong time. I had four boys in six years who eventually were happy to sleep with (just) each other (not with me), but by that time we had added a fifth child. She and I shared a bed until she was 11, which was the same month I brought home surprise baby #6. He was an unplanned c-section that did a real job on me, and I started sleeping in a recliner (with the baby, who is now 1 and still sleeping with me - though now in our bed!) 

 

I love it. My ex-husband snored and slept in his own room anyway. He'd come snuggle with us in the mornings when he was home, and he'd lay down to help get everyone to sleep. It was our family time, really. We were usually able to sneak out of the room after an hour or so. I think having so many bodies in the bed made it hard for the sleeping ones to notice when the adults left. 

 

My current husband didn't grow up sharing a room or a bed, but he loves it. For now. His/our kid is only one and still nurses through the night, so the baby is not in the kicking, spastic, hog the bed phase of things yet! LOL

 

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Me. Smart phones were the best invention ever for this!!

 

This is so funny because of how true it is!!

 

With my first kids I tried reading in bed but that didn't work, and the tv distracted them. So i just lied there listening to books on audio, or to CDs.

 

With my 3-4 I had a laptop I could sometimes get away with using and perusing forums.

 

With my 5th I had a portable DVD player because the laptop was too bright. Our library had a ton of DVDs and I'd take out ten a week.

 

Now with my 6th I have a handy smartphone and iPad :) way less clunky, way easier, way more versatile!

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I’ve never done that with anyone but a colicky infant. Won’t even get that crap started. Nope!

.

I’m envious of those that haven’t needed to. I’ve never had an infant that didn’t require help to fall asleep (some more than others—all starting from newborn). My current one is the very hardest—nursing doesn’t even do it. All have been able to do it on their own by toddlerhood, though. Sometimes we’d still stay in their room to give them some company if they asked. I found it kind of nice and peaceful to sit in the rocking chair in the quiet while a child fell asleep in their bed and my dh took care of the crazy in the rest of the house ;).
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