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Janie Grace

Have you had a sit-down (truth-telling) talk about Santa with any of your dc?

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We didn't do Santa with first 3 kids for religious reasons. Then we chilled out some and started doing Santa for fun with the younger two. The older of those two kind of figured out on his own that Santa is pretend (like I did as a kid)... no big fanfare, just kind of a "Mom, I know it's you!" and an agreement that it's fun to pretend. And then we have ds8, who still believes. Deeply, with his whole heart. And now I am thinking "crap, what have we done?"

 

I feel like telling him is going to shatter his trust in us. He asks questions like "do you think there is one Santa who always was, or has it been different Santas over the years?" and I just vaguely say "what do you think?" He is a very serious, rule-following kid, an old soul who trusts us completely. We're starting to feel like it's almost time to tell him the truth (maybe like it's going to be worse the longer we let it go)... How in the world are we going to do this? 

If you had a kid you had to tell (rather than the casual "figured it out along the way" thing), please share how you did it and how it went. And if your kid still trusts you.  :crying:

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Well, we started out doing the Santa thing, then, for religious reasons, stopped. Mine were probably 4 and 8 when we stopped. I read them the story of Saint Nicholas, which, of course, ends with him dying. I'll never forget their reactions. They said, "So Santa is dead?" To which I answered, yes. Then they asked, "So is the Easter Bunny dead too?" And I again said yes. Then they asked, "Well, will we still get presents anyway?" Lol. No great trauma or anything here. :-)

 

Oh, and mine still trust us. We just explained the whole thing and they were fine with it. 
 

Edited by VaKim
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I tried to tell my 9 year old this year, but she wasn't having it. I gave some hints, asked several "well, tell me what you REALLY think" and followed up with "no matter what, you'll always get presents so you don't have to worry about that."

 

She still insisted Santa was real.

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I think it is probably time. I wouldn't wait til next Christmas as it may be more crushing over the holidays if he is attached to the idea.

 

I told my kids it was a game we played with them that we thought they would enjoy. When they finally asked if it was real I just said no, that it was a game of make believe. Then I asked them if they had enjoyed the game and they said yes. So I told them not to ruin the game for any other kids that might still be playing. 😉

 

I believe it is time to end the game when kids are asking questions.

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I was the kid who believed with ALL my heart that my parents would never lie to me.  I defended Santa(really, my parent's good word) to the kids at school who said it wasn't so.  I did so until I was 10.  Yes, 10.  I was devastated when I found proof of their lie by accident.  I happened upon my "Santa gift" as we were packing for a trip to see my grandma.  I held it in for 2 days as we took the 1000 mile car trip.  On Christmas morning, there it was...the gift being passed off as the Santa Gift( a blond haired Cabbage Patch kid).  I blurted it all out on Christmas morning.  I cried and was mad(and ruined Christmas for my family...) I felt foolish.  

 

Did I forgive them?  Yes, eventually.  I was upset and distrusting for a while, but I did get over it and I still think they were great parents.:)

 

But, I have never done Santa with my kids.:)

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At one point we told our kids that Santa only brings gifts to those who believe in him.  Mine are now 25, 23, & 22 and as far as I know, still believe.  ;)

 

It's been so long I don't quite remember when we mentioned that, but it definitely didn't seem traumatic at the time.

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So much seems to depend on the kid. It never phased my kids when we explained it, and I was one of those kids who figured it out young but whose mom insists to this day that 'Santa is real'.

 

The kids that seem to be crushed are the ones who find out much older and keep insisting he is real or whose parents keep insisting he is real and they believe them. My mom kept insisting he was real but she also claimed her dogs were my siblings. So I took what she said with a grain of salt anyways.

Edited by CaliforniaDreaming
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With all six of my kids, once they started to become suspicious of the idea, I read to them this book: Mommy, Was Santa Claus Born on Christmas Too? (Mommy Why?) https://www.amazon.com/dp/156043158X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_iOQyAb97V60XH

 

This worked wonderfully for five of the six kids. My special needs son, however... sigh. He's going to be 15 next Christmas, and he still hasn't got it figured out, even after I read the book to him.

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This is not my letter but I saw it somewhere online and saved it, just in case we needed it. Maybe it will help you.

 

Dear Lucy,

Thank you for your letter. You asked a very good question: “Are you Santa?â€

I know you’ve wanted the answer to this question for a long time, and I’ve had to give it careful thought to know just what to say.

The answer is no. I am not Santa. There is no one Santa.

I am the person who fills your stockings with presents, though. I also choose and wrap the presents under the tree, the same way my mom did for me, and the same way her mom did for her. (And yes, Daddy helps, too.)

I imagine you will someday do this for your children, and I know you will love seeing them run down the stairs on Christmas morning. You will love seeing them sit under the tree, their small faces lit with Christmas lights.

This won’t make you Santa, though.

Santa is bigger than any person, and his work has gone on longer than any of us have lived. What he does is simple, but it is powerful. He teaches children how to have belief in something they can’t see or touch.

It’s a big job, and it’s an important one. Throughout your life, you will need this capacity to believe: in yourself, in your friends, in your talents and in your family. You’ll also need to believe in things you can’t measure or even hold in your hand. Here, I am talking about love, that great power that will light your life from the inside out, even during its darkest, coldest moments.

Santa is a teacher, and I have been his student, and now you know the secret of how he gets down all those chimneys on Christmas Eve: he has help from all the people whose hearts he’s filled with joy.

With full hearts, people like Daddy and me take our turns helping Santa do a job that would otherwise be impossible.

So, no. I am not Santa. Santa is love and magic and hope and happiness. I’m on his team, and now you are, too.

I love you and I always will.

Mama

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I have a friend who grew up in poverty and she refused to do Santa with her kids. She didn't like going to school and hearing how Santa got some kid the latest super expensive thing while she got broken goodwill toys. It made her feel like she wasn't 'good enough'. She didn't want her son wondering why he never got the latest gaming console, etc from Santa when other kids at school did, just because she couldn't afford it.

 

It was a perspective on Santa I had never really considered before.

 

EDITED TO ADD:

Sorry I got off topic there- back to how to break it to them advice, lol..

Edited by CaliforniaDreaming
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I was the kid who believed with ALL my heart that my parents would never lie to me.  I defended Santa(really, my parent's good word) to the kids at school who said it wasn't so.  I did so until I was 10.  Yes, 10.  I was devastated when I found proof of their lie by accident.  I happened upon my "Santa gift" as we were packing for a trip to see my grandma.  I held it in for 2 days as we took the 1000 mile car trip.  On Christmas morning, there it was...the gift being passed off as the Santa Gift( a blond haired Cabbage Patch kid).  I blurted it all out on Christmas morning.  I cried and was mad(and ruined Christmas for my family...) I felt foolish.  

 

Did I forgive them?  Yes, eventually.  I was upset and distrusting for a while, but I did get over it and I still think they were great parents. :)

 

But, I have never done Santa with my kids. :)

 

This was me, too.  My mother often told us that she would NEVER lie to us, so it was a really tough pill to swallow.

 

I have a friend who grew up in poverty and she refused to do Santa with her kids. She didn't like going to school and hearing how Santa got some kid the latest super expensive thing while she got broken goodwill toys. It made her feel like she wasn't 'good enough'. She didn't want her son wondering why he never got the latest gaming console, etc from Santa when other kids at school did, just because she couldn't afford it.

 

It was a perspective on Santa I had never really considered before.

 

EDITED TO ADD:

Sorry I got off topic there- back to how to break it to them advice, lol..

 

I had a cousin who only got one (large) gift from Santa every year; meanwhile, a few miles away, I received more.  I could never figure out why people thought Santa was so great.  I thought he was kind of petty.

 

As for advice, I would sit down and explain to him that you made a mistake in participating in this fun story with him.  That you didn't know that at some point it wouldn't be fun anymore.  But that once you understand the truth you can have fun with it again.

 

Hugs for you and your dc.

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I was the kid who believed with ALL my heart that my parents would never lie to me.  I defended Santa(really, my parent's good word) to the kids at school who said it wasn't so.  I did so until I was 10.  Yes, 10.  I was devastated when I found proof of their lie by accident.  I happened upon my "Santa gift" as we were packing for a trip to see my grandma.  I held it in for 2 days as we took the 1000 mile car trip.  On Christmas morning, there it was...the gift being passed off as the Santa Gift( a blond haired Cabbage Patch kid).  I blurted it all out on Christmas morning.  I cried and was mad(and ruined Christmas for my family...) I felt foolish.  

 

Did I forgive them?  Yes, eventually.  I was upset and distrusting for a while, but I did get over it and I still think they were great parents. :)

 

But, I have never done Santa with my kids. :)

 

This is my experience too. I learned at school around 2nd or 3rd grade and was devastated. So I've been determined not to do it to my kids (but I still love my parents!), but here's the funny part. We have always flat out told the kids  that Daddy is Santa, and he's who fills their stockings etc. But now they think he REALLY is Santa. I mean, like THE Santa. :huh:  Dh has blue eyes and a beard and they have concocted this whole thing where his beard must turn white on Christmas......and it just goes. So I guess some kids are determined to believe? They asked me recently if everyone's parents are Santa and I told them yes, but not to talk about it because some kids don't know. But I can tell they don't really get it- I think they pictured a Santa Convention somewhere. I'm not even sure how all of this happened. One day they're going to click and realize, hey. Mom wasn't kidding. But it doesn't seem to matter how blunt I am, they don't get it. They know the mall Santas are fake. But apparently my dh is the real deal. 

 

Our parents think we are cruel and unusual for not doing the whole Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Santa thing, for the record. Does everyone who doesn't participate in this type of thing catch flack? (Not to derail your thread. Just curious.) 

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When I was 9, my neighborhood friends were over and they said something about Santa not being real. I kicked them out of my house. A big, huge How Dare You?! Get OUT!

 

It was then that my mother decided the time had come. And truthfully, I was crushed. I cried and cried. It felt a little like a death. But I don’t remember feeling betrayed or even mad. I was more sad about Santa not being real than I was about being told he was real.

 

We did Santa with our kids. I love him. I love the wonder and whimsy. Each were told/asked the right questions somewhere around 6 or 7. The year my youngest learned the truth I cried. Santa was gone again.

 

Two of my kids say they won’t do Santa. One says she will (the youngest). They’re not bitter about it, they just intend to do things differently.

 

I don’t have an answer for you on your own kiddo. This is a hard one for anyone but a parent to call.

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Yes, my daughter asked me very directly about Santa when she was about 9 or maybe 10. I asked her, “Do you really want to know?â€. She did, so I let her know Santa was just a tradition for fun and it was really me and her dad. She cried herself to sleep and I felt terrible. The next day we talked about it some more and that was that. She is 16 now and has very fond memories of Santa and no regrets about us including him in our Christmases. He only ever brought one gift, but she loved leaving him cookie and milk and treats for the reindeer. It did not affect her trust in us. She still loves Santa and the memories we made including that tradition.

 

My son no longer believes (he’s almost 14) but we never had a “talkâ€. He just figured it out at about 9 or 10 and it wasn’t a big deal. It just faded itself out.

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Just remembered this story. My friend’s son was 12, in 7th grade, and still believed. They had these daily writing prompts and one day it was, How did you learn that Santa wasn’t real? And that’s how he learned.

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Our parents think we are cruel and unusual for not doing the whole Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Santa thing, for the record. Does everyone who doesn't participate in this type of thing catch flack? (Not to derail your thread. Just curious.)

Yes! And it’s not like our kids don’t get presents. Why do other people care what we do?
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Yep, in fact I had to have the talk twice with the same kiddo.  LOL

 

I told her one year and then the next year, she asked again, but countered the argument with Youtube videos that people have photoshopped to Prove to Me that he really is real!!  LOL

 

I had to burst her bubble again, and thankfully part of the conversation (over a couple of days, because she really didn't believe me) happened at her therapists office. so I had her therapist to back me up. 

 

 

It wasn't traumatic, but hard to her to believe, because so many people play along with the santa story, and those mixed messages really messed her up on what to believe.  I had to tell her again and again, that she didn't have to believe in santa......and she would still get the same amount of gifts.   I had to tell her that the Polar Express train that advertise in our area every winter, isn't the Polar Express from the movie.  And that the train tracks by our house is just for industrial trains. I had to tell all the adults around her to be honest and not to encourage the Santa idea. 

 

Once she had enough people tell her that he was make believe, I think she started to understand, but we will have to see next year.  This year I was careful to not do stockings or Santa presents. I put a small gift bag under the tree for each kid and put all the normal stocking gifts in those bags, so she saw me do it.   We didn't do cookies or milk or joke about where santa was in the different parts of the world (we live near an international airport, so there is always a far off distant light moving in the sky, to pretend it may be Santa.)

 

 

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We don't pretend Santa, but they get a fair amount from I am not sure where - they don't go to school or watch tv, so it's hard to say.  But somehow they all seem to think there is a Santa at some point.

 

Anyway, this year, about a week before Christmas, DS4 said to me, "Mom?  Is Santa is not real?"  

 

Me: "No, DS4.  Santa is not real."

 

DS4: "Then who brings the presents?"

 

Me: "Me."

 

DS4: "No, who will bring the presents on Christmas?"

 

Me: "Me."

 

DS4:  "I know!  The post office guy brings the presents!"

 

Sigh.  I get no credit.

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Just remembered this story. My friend’s son was 12, in 7th grade, and still believed. They had these daily writing prompts and one day it was, How did you learn that Santa wasn’t real? And that’s how he learned.

My ds is 12 and still believes. I think he’s coming around though. My dh invented a Halloween figure (Willie the Tree Pumpkin) that would leave the kids small presents in a tree in our yard before Halloween. This year DS decided that dh and I are Willie. I think the Easter bunny will be figured out this year and by Christmas he will have it all sorted out.
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We did Santa for fun, and as a way to make my reluctant writer handwrite a lengthy (for him) letter. Santa also sent a small questionnaire for which he expected 1-2 sentence answers from DS before he packed his presents in the North Pole (which my son happily wrote).

 

I tried to tell the truth twice with my 10 year old - at last Christmas and this one. But, he refuses to believe that Santa is not real. His exact words were "if you think that he is real, then, he is!". Some of his friends laughed at him for believing in Santa and he defended his faith in Santa rigorously to his crowd of friends! He is also getting interested in Physics and science and has questions about how one guy can deliver 6 million presents in a minute according to the NORAD tracker. He will figure it out sooner or later. (Tooth Fairy still visits. Easter Bunny looks fake to him because he has always been 6 feet tall when we met him - either someone wearing a costume or genetic mutation of a regular bunny in his opinion).

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I was the kid who believed with ALL my heart that my parents would never lie to me. I defended Santa(really, my parent's good word) to the kids at school who said it wasn't so. I did so until I was 10. Yes, 10. I was devastated when I found proof of their lie by accident. I happened upon my "Santa gift" as we were packing for a trip to see my grandma. I held it in for 2 days as we took the 1000 mile car trip. On Christmas morning, there it was...the gift being passed off as the Santa Gift( a blond haired Cabbage Patch kid). I blurted it all out on Christmas morning. I cried and was mad(and ruined Christmas for my family...) I felt foolish.

 

Did I forgive them? Yes, eventually. I was upset and distrusting for a while, but I did get over it and I still think they were great parents.:)

 

But, I have never done Santa with my kids.:)

This was one of my oldest boys completely. He defended it at school because "my mom and dad would never lie to me. We don't lie in my family" and when we finally realized he wasn't going to get to a place of believing his peers over us we told him. It devastated him and he said "so you lied to me!?!?!?!" It was horrific. He is a full grown, super smart and put together guy who we have a stellar relationship with but I did see a distrust in him after that for quite some time. We decided we would never do that again and haven't with our youngest 3. In fact, without any back story or prompting of any kind... our 6 year old point blank asked us this past Christmas why parents would want to tell a lie to their children. We said "because it is a fun game some people enjoy" and he wanted to know doggedly why not just play the game as pretend with everyone knowing. Why lying was ok in that situation.

 

So we dodged a huge bullet with this one! Haha :)

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We "did" Santa, but we never actually said Santa was for-sure-real.  We would put cookies and milk out, just in case.  There would be one special present that wasn't wrapped and wasn't labeled.  If they asked, we'd just say, "Well, a lot of people think that Santa ..."  Or, we'd ask them what they thought.  Ds, at age 4, said he thought it was really us, but then he saw a super realistic "Santa" in front of a house when we went driving around to look at Christmas lights.  The Santa walked up to the car and handed him a candy cane, and all doubt was wiped away.  He believed for a couple more years.  Eventually, (age 8?) it became clear that he didn't believe anymore, but he pretended he did for several more years!  It was quite interesting to watch his wheels turn behind his eyes, as he pondered whether to admit he didn't believe, like he was thinking, "If I admit I don't believe, then it's all over!"  He believed because he wanted to.  We had always left it up to him, and had never lied to him, so that part didn't enter the equation.  He's 20 now, and he still pretends he believes because it's fun.  

 

The girls just figured it out and it was never a big deal.   

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Ds10 never believed. Ds8 didn't at at 3,4,5 but was convinced by schoolmates and sort of wondered whether he was real for a couple of years.

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We never have.  My kids have always believed for longer than what I assume is the average, but they do manage to figure it out eventually.  My teenagers help to play Santa now. They're not damaged in any way.

 

My 10yo still believes. I know he has some inkling, but he isn't ready to make the leap, and that's okay with us. It's a hassle, lol, but it's okay. He believes in other things we don't believe to be true, too, and we're okay with those as well. We're big on letting them make their own connections.

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My 9 yr old still believes but I could see the doubt starting this year.  I was like 11 when I stopped believing.  I had doubted a little bit but that year, my sister, 9 at the time, found our christmas presents.  Or rather, the boxes.  We got 10 speed bikes that year, and my dad had already put them together and hid them in the garage, but put the boxes up in the rafters and we spotted those when we were looking for something else. 

 

My oldest is 22 and I honestly don't remember when she stopped believing.  It was probably right around the same age I did.  Clearly it wasn't a big deal since I don't remember much about it. 

Edited by happysmileylady

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We never did Santa per say.  It was a "it is from Santa wink, wink" type of thing.

 

I read a book to my kids called, "Santa, Are You for Real?"  It is the story of the real St. Nicholas and how the tradition started.  

 

 

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I was only 5 or so when I discovered the truth and was very upset that my parents would willfully deceive me despite telling me how important it is to be truthful. I felt like I had been punked and questioned what else they had told me that wasn’t true. I got over it, but I never told my kids Santa was real. They were in on the game from the beginning, and we never said anything was from Santa or made a big deal out of it at all.

Edited by Word Nerd
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My 11 year old hasn't officially renounced her belief, however we had a couple of funny moments this year that let me know she's done.

 

1. When I forgot that Santa (not me) had used the cute polar bear wrapping paper, and I said it had run out and we should get more.

 

2. When she asked where a certain gift came from, I said "Santa."

She said, "But where did it come from?"

Me: "North Pole."

DD: "Mommy - Sara (a friend) wants to know where she can get one like this."

Me: "Oh. Amazon."

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One of the twins figured it out himself when he was nine - he pulled me for a quiet chat into the bathroom, and softly told me he knew it was Dad and I, right? I congratulated him on both figuring it out and being part of keeping the secret for his siblings - he really liked being "in" on something they did not know yet. Now I have just one who may or may not still beleive - a 26-year-old MAN with autism who no longer talks. He still enjoys sitting for a photo with Santa. We assume he still believes....anyway, we are not rocking that boat. This is hte first year, however, that he did not insist we leave out milk and cookies....maybe his housemates at his new group home filled him in?

Edited by JFSinIL

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Nope.  They both figured it out and it was no big deal.  They asked me for quite some time when I knew they were starting to figure it out "do you believe in Santa" and I'd say "I believe in the magic of Santa".  And that's not a lie because I do.

 

I'm impressed with the fact that the older kid never told the younger kid.  The older kind found out IMO way too soon because he read it in a book. 

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This is my experience too. I learned at school around 2nd or 3rd grade and was devastated. So I've been determined not to do it to my kids (but I still love my parents!), but here's the funny part. We have always flat out told the kids that Daddy is Santa, and he's who fills their stockings etc. But now they think he REALLY is Santa. I mean, like THE Santa. :huh: Dh has blue eyes and a beard and they have concocted this whole thing where his beard must turn white on Christmas......and it just goes. So I guess some kids are determined to believe? They asked me recently if everyone's parents are Santa and I told them yes, but not to talk about it because some kids don't know. But I can tell they don't really get it- I think they pictured a Santa Convention somewhere. I'm not even sure how all of this happened. One day they're going to click and realize, hey. Mom wasn't kidding. But it doesn't seem to matter how blunt I am, they don't get it. They know the mall Santas are fake. But apparently my dh is the real deal.

 

Our parents think we are cruel and unusual for not doing the whole Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Santa thing, for the record. Does everyone who doesn't participate in this type of thing catch flack? (Not to derail your thread. Just curious.)

Yes. I just keep my mouth shut during most discussions about Santa. People get so worked up over it. To be fair, people who don’t do Santa can make a big deal out of it too. Edited by Word Nerd
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I loved Santa as a kid. I loved believing. I loved trying to stay awake to say "Hi" and give him a big hug (I probably drove my poor parents crazy trying to wait until I had finally fallen asleep to put gifts under the tree).  I loved that my mom and grandma and my brother and I would bake cookies to leave him along with a glass of milk.  He would always leave a thank you note even when we switched to carrots because Santa had let Mommy know he couldn't eat cookies anymore.  And over time I came to realize he wasn't real but I still loved to pretend and so did my brother.  We "protected" our parents by continuing to pretend with them, too.  LOL.  They knew we knew but I guess no one wanted to admit it.  It was fun.  It was light.  I didn't think of my parents as liars.  

 

Therefore I didn't even think about it with my own kids.  We did Santa gifts and family gifts.  Santa gifts were wrapped in different paper.  The kids were always so excited to come see what Santa had left them.  Once I had ordered a necklace for DD.  It came broken.  The company sent a replacement.  I gave her both with a note from Santa that he hoped she could repair the necklace (she was good at that sort of thing) because his workshop didn't have time.  DD was thrilled.  She worked hard on fixing the broken one and still has it.  Frankly, by the time she got the necklace she was upper elementary.  I was certain she already knew Santa didn't exist.  She was always so savvy that way.  She knew people in costumes were just people in costumes by the time she was 3.  I thought we were just having fun pretending.  I truly never thought that she still believed.

 

When DD was 13 and DS was 9 DS came to me to talk about Santa.  He asked me point blank if Daddy and I were Santa.  I admitted we were.  Again, I thought he already knew.  He was fine with it.  He thought it was funny.  DD was in the room.  She was devastated but said nothing except to ask for confirmation.  I didn't realize how shocked and disturbed and hurt she was.  She didn't share with me her feelings for quite a while.  But I could see in her face that she had not known.  I had been wrong.  She really still believed at 13.  I felt horrible.  And felt even worse when I found out how much it had affected her.  

 

A while later DS was at a friend's house playing.  Friend was older than DS but had a lot of younger siblings.  DS shared his revelation about Santa, thinking he was probably the last one to know.  His friends did not know.  Kids were upset, some were crying, parents were upset, DS came home devastated at what he had done.  I felt awful again.  And deeply regretted handling things the way we did.

 

If I had to do it over again I don't know what I would have done but I would not have done what we did the way we did it.

 

OP I think your best option may be to simply sit him down and explain that the IDEA of Santa is something that has existed in various forms for a long time.  The IDEA is real.  Maybe help him with some historical context on why Santa exists and how the idea has evolved.  Share with him that it is part of the overall culture and you had thought of it as a fun thing but realize that it is time to explain that Santa the person doesn't exist, just the idea.  It may be painful.  It may be hard.  But I fear that the older he gets the more he may see this as a lie perpetuated on him even though he has started asking questions and trying to understand the process.  Be honest.  Be kind.  Give him some idea of the reason behind Santa so it doesn't seem like some big monstrous hurtful lie forced on little kids to "fool" them.

 

:grouphug:

Edited by OneStepAtATime
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I think a deception(as small as Santa even) affects kids differently.  Some kids are perfectly fine(probably most) and some kids never believe something so outlandish.  Some kids are super trusting and loyalty and honesty are very deeply important to them.  Those are the kids that react to the "unmasking" of Santa in a more profound way.

 

A friend's kid was horrified that someone(even with magic) could come into their house and the dog didn't even bark!  Maybe evil magic could cause the same thing?  She was terrified to sleep. Her mom chose to reveal the truth to her and I'm glad she did even if it ruined the magic.

 

I was mostly mad that my parents let me endure the teasing and taunting at school without just telling me.  They could have eased me into it.  In their defense, I'm sure they had no idea I would react the way I did.  They probably didn't think I really believed like I did.

 

My kids know about the Christmas around the world stories and Santa is a part of that.  We talk about the Santa Game that some families play and how we must not ruin it for them.

Edited by rjand6more
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We do Santa in our family, but as the kids get older and figure out that he isn't real, they get to "be" Santa themselves. And not just for the rest of the family, but they get to slip small trinkets or candy to friends' parents to put in their friends' stockings. The magic and fun of getting to "be" Santa far outweighs any disappointment in finding out that he isn't real.

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dudeling really took santa seriously - when I realized that - I started backing off. i.e.  He wasn't allowed to watch the polar express (he took it as truth).

 

he was younger when I started that. he figured out on his own that santa was make-believe, and kept asking for verification.  I finally told him, no santa doesn't exist.  then I tried to remind him how santa can be fun - and he was NOT to tell younger kids!

 

I don't think he has an opinion either way.   I'll see how he does when I get grandkids  and he's around them at christmas time.  (my only married child lives in another state.  and she doens't have any yet.)

 

have you done any "dropping hints"?   or has he noticed how many "helpers" santa has?

 

we are also religious - so I got to where I didn't want him to be totally confused when he realized santa was make-believe, when we're telling him God and Jesus Christ are real.   I was afraid for him - he might think I was making them up too.  my older kids were able to just enjoy the fun - and it didnt' affect them, but him I worried about.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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