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Melissa in Australia
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the main substantiated abuse:

 

Because I couldn't hug him after he was spying on me while I was having a shower,  I supposedly made him feel rejected, therefore I caused him long term emotional abuse that he is still having troubles with.

 

I'm stunned. Who is going to hold them responsible for the emotional damage they are doing ripping a child away from a loving family? :( I assume that's where this is headed? Unbelievable.

 

ETA: Read that the child is already removed. My God, I'm so sorry. :( You don't deserve this. You know that you don't. :(

Edited by Mimm
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I am so sorry, Melissa.  What a horrible outcome.  Total injustice.

 

I am so sorry Melissa.

The "charges" are completely ridiculous. For one, you cannot "require" someone hug someone else. What about your bodily autonomy? Not to mention the implication of having physical contact with a child who may have been trying to gain sexual pleasure in watching you. Hugging him would have been completely inappropriate.

 

I agree completely, Wishes.

 

 

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I am so sorry Melissa.

The "charges" are completely ridiculous. For one, you cannot "require" someone hug someone else. What about your bodily autonomy? Not to mention the implication of having physical contact with a child who may have been trying to gain sexual pleasure in watching you. Hugging him would have been completely inappropriate.

I believe this is grounds for a counter-suit sort of action on your part. At the very least, you should take legal means to seek the judgement be nullified with no effect on your own biological family and future employment.

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And talk about letting the perfect be the enemy of the good.

 

No parent is going to be able to be perfectly demonstrative and loving and have no boundaries of their own; people like that don't exist, and if they do I'm afraid of them. The idea that not being perfectly nurturing in every aspect is equivalent to being unkind (not to mention equivalent to abuse!) is insanity. If that is the standard, they'll have neither foster parents nor real parents left that they find suitable to care for children.

At the very least you might could go public with your story, in a 60 Minutes sort of way.

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I'm stunned. Who is going to hold them responsible for the emotional damage they are doing ripping a child away from a loving family? :( I assume that's where this is headed? Unbelievable.

 

ETA: Read that the child is already removed. My God, I'm so sorry. :( You don't deserve this. You know that you don't. :(

If I have been following Melissa's story correctly, the third child should have probably actually never been placed in her home care, as it was counterproductive to the siblings' healing. But iirc there was a lot of pressure to do so and M eventually said yes (please correct me if I am mistaken!). So, I think we're talking about a questionable placement to begin with. Edited by Seasider
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If I have been following Melissa's story correctly, the third child should have probably actually never been placed in her home care, as it was counterproductive to the siblings' healing. But iirc there was a lot of pressure to do so and M eventually said yes (please correct me if I am mistaken!). So, I think we're talking about a questionable placement to begin with.

Correct

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the main substantiated abuse:

 

Because I couldn't hug him after he was spying on me while I was having a shower, I supposedly made him feel rejected, therefore I caused him long term emotional abuse that he is still having troubles with.

Are you f'in kidding me? He violated your privacy in a huge way, so you set up appropriate boundaries, and that is emotional abuse. What? Are you supposed to be robots?

 

If that is emotional abuse, my parents should have been in jail. K's assertion of my "emotional abuse causing PTSD" (because I yelled a couple of times in the span of 20 years) would have me lose my kids. I'm fuming for you.

 

Sent from my SM-G900T using Tapatalk

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At the very least you might could go public with your story, in a 60 Minutes sort of way.

I think that would be difficult due to confidentiality issues around minors although I really think if there's a way this needs to be what happens eventually. There is clearly something wrong because foster organisations can't get enough carers and kids are sleeping in motels and too many people that want to help have been burnt.

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I think that would be difficult due to confidentiality issues around minors although I really think if there's a way this needs to be what happens eventually. There is clearly something wrong because foster organisations can't get enough carers and kids are sleeping in motels and too many people that want to help have been burnt.

Yes, privacy is an issue for sure, but with some workarounds the story could and should be told. This should never have happened to Melissa, and shouldn't happen to anyone else, either.

 

Also, I'm guessing an investigative reporter could turn up additional stories of coerced placements gone awry and the lack of support the system gives foster families when mismatches become evident.

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