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if anyone feels so inclined I could do with as many positive thoughts as possible for tomorrow.      I cannot give any details at all for legal reasons.     we are only ordinary people who tried

We sent out an inquiry to a third party, the only vague contact we had. They have got back to us that it will be at least another week.     We have started approaching our local member for parliam

Thank you everyone for your prayers and positive thoughts.     It was tough   now we await the outcome

I have finally got the results from our appeal.

 

decision upheld. Caused substantiated emotional abuse of a child in my care

 

 

:crying:  :crying:  :crying:

 

 

 

 

Never ever foster. It destroys your own children. It destroys relationships. It destroys your mind

 

I'm so sorry. :( What is going to happen?

 

I agree with you on never fostering. My parents took in foster kids and it was the worst thing that ever happened to our family. I'm so sorry you are going through this. :(

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:(  :(  :(  :banghead:

 

After everything you tried, after all that you and your family were put through, after working SO HARD EVERY.SINGLE.MINUTE.OF.EVERY.SINGLE.DAY to save this poor damaged child (who was damaged LOOOONNNNNNGGGG before being placed in your care) this is how it ends up?  Did they even actually investigate?   :boxing_smiley:

 

Sending hugs and hope for a miracle of some kind...I'm wishing with all my heart you could get some sort of a break.  

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I have finally got the results from our appeal.

 

decision upheld. Caused substantiated emotional abuse of a child in my care

 

 

:crying: :crying: :crying:

 

 

 

 

Never ever foster. It destroys your own children. It destroys relationships. It destroys your mind

I'm so angry for you right now.

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the main substantiated abuse:

 

Because I couldn't hug him after he was spying on me while I was having a shower, I supposedly made him feel rejected, therefore I caused him long term emotional abuse that he is still having troubles with.

Wow, that is unreal!

 

I’m so sorry. 😢

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the main substantiated abuse:

 

Because I couldn't hug him after he was spying on me while I was having a shower, I supposedly made him feel rejected, therefore I caused him long term emotional abuse that he is still having troubles with.

I’m speechless. (And angry!)

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I am so sorry Melissa.

The "charges" are completely ridiculous. For one, you cannot "require" someone hug someone else. What about your bodily autonomy? Not to mention the implication of having physical contact with a child who may have been trying to gain sexual pleasure in watching you. Hugging him would have been completely inappropriate.

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Oh God Melissa, please tell us this won't effect the twins. That's all I've thought about following this whole thread. Permanent placement is not always permenant here, and they need you so badly.

 

I think fostering is so important but... I just couldn't ever do it in our current system, nor could I put bio children through it. It's so wrong because those kids need help too, I grew up around a lot of foster kids and a good home changes a life, but... It's an impossible situation, the system is beyond broken. At least the one saving grace here is that your kids are older and you're not supporting little ones through this.

 

If there's anything at all us Australians can do let us know. I'm not on here much anymore but I've been checking in on this thread regularly.

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Seriously cannot believe it. Your situation is even more unbelievable than my friend's. You were the one who was wronged so very clearly. In her case I could understand the mixed up weirdness of the logic if you believed the child. The case history showed the incredible history of destructive lies. They had documented them for years and still ripped her life apart. Totally messed up system. :grouphug:

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I’m having trouble understanding why anyone would think you are at fault in this situation. Is this child still in your home?

 

I wish there was something we could do on your behalf.

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Wow, I'm so, so sorry.  I feel very angry for you.  It's ridiculous.  It sounds like they're covering their tracks.  I think you need legal advice because you have clearly done nothing wrong and everything right.  

 

Do you have energy to fight this?  

 

I found this site:

 

http://www.probonocentre.org.au

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:

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the main substantiated abuse:

 

Because I couldn't hug him after he was spying on me while I was having a shower,  I supposedly made him feel rejected, therefore I caused him long term emotional abuse that he is still having troubles with.

 

Oh I see, so he came to you with no issues whatsoever and all his problems stem from that moment??

 

I'm sorry, there just aren't civilized words for the people running that system.

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And talk about letting the perfect be the enemy of the good.

 

No parent is going to be able to be perfectly demonstrative and loving and have no boundaries of their own; people like that don't exist, and if they do I'm afraid of them.  The idea that not being perfectly nurturing in every aspect is equivalent to being unkind (not to mention equivalent to abuse!) is insanity.  If that is the standard, they'll have neither foster parents nor real parents left that they find suitable to care for children.

 

 

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I am so sorry Melissa.

The "charges" are completely ridiculous. For one, you cannot "require" someone hug someone else. What about your bodily autonomy? Not to mention the implication of having physical contact with a child who may have been trying to gain sexual pleasure in watching you. Hugging him would have been completely inappropriate.

 

The mental health organization I volunteer with does not allow most people to touch kids affectionately, because they associate touch differently - because people have inappropriately or violently touched them in the past.  I assume that foster parents are allowed to hug if they feel it is therapeutic to the child, but I can't imagine being required to hug.  That's just crazy and they know it.  I believe they are just being vindictive.

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Just adding my support here.  I have a volunteer job that is associated with the foster care system.  It is heartbreaking.  I am so sorry for what is happening to you, and even more sorry that parents who could really help kids are driven away by the system.

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