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Anybody posted about the 13 siblings found chained in California home?


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I'm sure there is a lot from the kids' experience that you are entirely oblivious to.

 

Most bullying does not happen where adults notice and most kids do not report.

 

They just suffer.

 

I'm positive I don't know about every single high school kid in my district.  I'm also positive about those I know about because some kids do share - or some of their friends share with folks they think can help.

 

Humans are different and certainly not saints (at any age).  Bullied kids come from great (or average) parents pretty often too.  The idea that they only come from poor ($ or actions) parents is 100% wrong.

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"Others said they had seen the children digging for food in the garbage bins, but had not taken notice as it did not look sinister."   Really? Kids digging for food in garbage bins in a reasonably n

If I saw a neighbor digging through their own trash, I would assume they were looking for something that may have been thrown away. I wouldn’t assume they were digging for food in their own trash.

There are a lot of people who homeschool their children, are very religious, have their kids memorize long bible passages, even entire books of the bible, yet don't starve their kids nor chain the

I'm positive I don't know about every single high school kid in my district. I'm also positive about those I know about because some kids do share - or some of their friends share with folks they think can help.

 

Humans are different and certainly not saints (at any age). Bullied kids come from great (or average) parents pretty often too. The idea that they only come from poor ($ or actions) parents is 100% wrong.

No one said they only came from unstable environments, just that it is within the range of experience.

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I'm positive I don't know about every single high school kid in my district. I'm also positive about those I know about because some kids do share - or some of their friends share with folks they think can help.

 

Humans are different and certainly not saints (at any age). Bullied kids come from great (or average) parents pretty often too. The idea that they only come from poor ($ or actions) parents is 100% wrong.

I don't think I said anything about parents.

 

School trauma (not home trauma) speaking here--there is just no way adults can know more than a fraction of what is going on.

Edited by maize
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I don't think I said anything about parents.

 

School trauma (not home trauma) speaking here--there is just no way adults can know more than a fraction of what is going on.

 

As it is with anecdotes shared online - or even merely overheard from friends, etc.

 

I believed the report that my dad was ripped off with a fuel oil delivery (posted on my elder thread).  When I saw the actual evidence... 100% not true as reported even if he felt he was ripped off.

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And I'm absolutely sure that it is a good option for some families.

 

My larger point was that it's not a panacea, and that saying that kids from unstable/abusive families need to be in public school as a respite from abuse is not necessarily true.

 

I am also responding to the other overall tone in the thread that says that if you don't come into homeschooling with a certain set of qualities and characteristics that are typical of middle-class and wealthier families, then of course you need somebody to come in and check on your kids. And if you decide to homeschool then you are irresponsibly not availing yourself to a ton of resources that are only available through a one-size-fits-all education model.

 

ETA: I used the word poor when I mean something else. I changed the wording.

Oh- I wasn't trying to downgrade your concerns, as actually they are also my concerns- we just decided to apply for Medicaid after my husbands job again decided not to give him the two hours he needs for fulltime (despite hiring him fulltime 2 years ago and promising him healthcare-he works in a hospital-seriously)- and Medicaid want us to send in "proof" of homeschooling.  What does my childs education have to do with getting medical insurance.  I wrote a letter that we live in a low regulation state and so there isn't "proof" and politely told them their grade levels.

  I was just showing that some children may not die if they are under some sort of outside community.  I don't think that will prevent abuse, but will allow some children to get an education/food and will tide them over until they can get out of their abusive  homes.  

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I'm positive I don't know about every single high school kid in my district.  I'm also positive about those I know about because some kids do share - or some of their friends share with folks they think can help.

 

Humans are different and certainly not saints (at any age).  Bullied kids come from great (or average) parents pretty often too.  The idea that they only come from poor ($ or actions) parents is 100% wrong.

 

I can almost guarantee there stuff going on that you don't know about. some kids don't.. share.

 

I have an adulthood friend who is a school teacher.  she said the reason she thinks I wasn't believed was I was "too normal"..   I didn't look like I came from such a dysfunctional family - but it was.

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I can almost guarantee there stuff going on that you don't know about. some kids don't.. share.

 

I have an adulthood friend who is a school teacher.  she said the reason she thinks I wasn't believed was I was "too normal"..   I didn't look like I came from such a dysfunctional family - but it was.

 

I didn't disagree with you.  I'm sure there's stuff going on I don't know about too.  I also know there are things some kids report that isn't true - proven factually to be incorrect.  One lad told us his mom had been in the hospital and was quite ill. This is why he couldn't concentrate on his schoolwork.  Mom sure was surprised to learn about that!  (And checking with the hospital supported her, not the lad.)

 

Hearsay is just that.  Sometimes it's true and sometimes it isn't.  Sometimes the truth is in the middle of two (or more) stories.  That's life.  

 

The same real truth can also affect humans to different degrees.  Something one student can brush off having forgotten the next day affects another one deeply and they remember it for years.

 

Life gets more complicated than short segments of black and white.  The trick is figuring it all out so help can be offered or action taken when it's needed.

Edited by creekland
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Just out of curiosity, and totally OT, but what did you find useful about it?

I just felt grateful to do it- that someone is required to see my child and verify we’re schooling, that DS is healthy, that I’m “normalâ€, etc. I’m glad the other kids in this state get this minimum glance check, too. I don’t think Homeschooling regulation and verification is perfect, and a once a year portfolio review can easily be conned, but I’m grateful there’s some oversight. I’m grateful for family and friends in our lives that could help us if needed or make sure the kids are safe. I’m grateful for this board, which has provided me with hours of guidance, tips, encouragement, support, and knowledge. I’m glad I have support systems and safety nets to help me in this journey.

 

But, to answer your question about usefulness - she did give a few tips about curriculum (she was an ESE teacher and DS has SLD), and portfolio streamlining verification. She was pretty experienced and I could see her being really helpful to a newly starting homeschool family. But, I spend so much time researching that I’m an expert. 😆

Edited by displace
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I just felt grateful to do it- that someone is required to see my child and verify we’re schooling, that DS is healthy, that I’m “normalâ€, etc. I’m glad the other kids in this state get this minimum glance check, too. I don’t think Homeschooling regulation and verification is perfect, and a once a year portfolio review can easily be conned, but I’m grateful there’s some oversight. I’m grateful for family and friends in our lives that could help us if needed or make sure the kids are safe. I’m grateful for this board, which has provided me with hours of guidance, tips, encouragement, support, and knowledge. I’m glad I have support systems and safety nets to help me in this journey.

 

But, to answer your question about usefulness - she did give a few tips about curriculum (see was an ESE teacher and DS has SLD), portfolio streamlining verification. She was pretty experienced and I could see her being really helpful to a newly starting homeschool family. But, I spend so much time researching that I’m an expert, 😆

 

Just curious. I've often wished for that kind of individual support/guidance, especially now that I want to branch out into more interdisciplinary projects.

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Another interview from the family.  This is her younger sister and her half-brother.

 

They are horrified.

 

Weird back story about the elopement of the mom and Dad.  He checked her out of high school at 16, when she was a sophomore, and then they drove to Texas.  

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5289527/David-Louise-Turpin-eloped-16.html

Edited by umsami
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Just curious. I've often wished for that kind of individual support/guidance, especially now that I want to branch out into more interdisciplinary projects.

Honestly, for new homeschoolers who first register, I think a helpful thing might be a required (or maybe offered) meeting with someone to give a starter guidance, or have some type of intro class to go to and learn about “stuffâ€. The first portfolio review here is due one year after starting homeschooling. Meeting with a knowledgeable homeschooling mom/ex-teacher is valuable, and might be most valuable when beginning. I had resources, went to conferences, had specialized training, etc, and I still could have benefited. We have a local homeschool non profit that tries to give starter meetings for the community on what to do or expect, but they aren’t always available. And I bet a lot of places don’t have anything like that at all.

Edited by displace
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Honestly, for new homeschoolers who first register, I think a helpful thing might be a required (or maybe offered) meeting with someone to give a starter guidance, or have some type of intro class to go to and learn about “stuffâ€. The first portfolio review here is due one year after starting homeschooling. Meeting with a knowledgeable homeschooling mom/ex-teacher is valuable, and might be most valuable when beginning. I had resources, went to conferences, had specialized training, etc, and I still could have benefited. We have a local homeschool non profit that tries to give starter meetings for the community on what to do or expect, but they aren’t always available. And I bet a lot of places don’t have anything like that at all.

 

Or it could be mandatory that folks register (or at least lurk) on here - the education boards - and start gleaning information of all sorts.  ;)

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Honestly, for new homeschoolers who first register, I think a helpful thing might be a required (or maybe offered) meeting with someone to give a starter guidance, or have some type of intro class to go to and learn about “stuffâ€. The first portfolio review here is due one year after starting homeschooling. Meeting with a knowledgeable homeschooling mom/ex-teacher is valuable, and might be most valuable when beginning. I had resources, went to conferences, had specialized training, etc, and I still could have benefited. We have a local homeschool non profit that tries to give starter meetings for the community on what to do or expect, but they aren’t always available. And I bet a lot of places don’t have anything like that at all.

This would be great, but I would much prefer it come from local homeschool groups.

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This would be great, but I would much prefer it come from local homeschool groups.

Right. Our county has a homeschooling department. I’ve never spoken with them. Every teacher evaluator I’ve heard of around here is or was also a homeschooler. So maybe teacher homeschoolers? They could give meetings or make a YouTube presentation about what’s available locally, online, options, coop groups that want to be listed, etc. Maybe update yearly so the information isn’t out of date, etc. They could list elementary, middle, and high school specific, gifted, and disability information. My county is large and complex, with public, private, charter, virtual state, virtual county, part time, magnet, full time, homeschooling, etc. Information on a website isn’t as good as a presentation might be.

Edited by displace
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people living at the extent of this family, or especially those who refuse to register their children's birth with the state - will be the first to go underground since they're nearly there already.

 

This is not true. The older kids are reported in California and Texas birth indexes, indicating birth certificates filed at the times of their births. It's online information in public databases.

 

The children wrote journals. Many journals.

 

Those are going to be damning.

 

The mother was 16 when she married her significantly older husband. Makes me wonder if she might be viewed as the first victim--one who then went on to victimize many others.

 

I'm not usually a revenge person, but I admit that a part of me really wishes these "parents" could be made to live for a year at least the way they forced their kids to live.

 

I thought I saw something indicating they were not married when the first child was born.

 

I said in the other thread that I can see both sides of the argument over more regulation. The thing is... While I'd be willing to deal with more regulation than we currently have in Virginia, even if I was grumpy when it came to review time....

 

I tend to think the best way to prevent abuse is more long-term, easily-available mental health treatment. Just like I think it would help prevent shootings, even though I'd also be willing to see more sensible regulation there. Just like I think providing birth control and sex education do more to prevent abortions than outlawing abortion does.

 

Long-term education and treatment that gets to root causes would get my vote. Something that helped the mother in this family when she was fifteen, coming from a family which had experienced abuse, before she went off with David Turpin. I think that's when her abuse of her own children might have been prevented.

 

So, the agencies struggling to look after children now need support. Children and teens who are struggling need diagnosis and treatment. And so on.

 

Have I knocked down enough hornet's nests yet? ;-)

 

Not me. I find Virginia too intrusive. Besides, the way the homeschool law is written in Virginia, I could claim Religious Exemption and have no more reporting to the state required at all. 

 

 

And let's add that the children were homebirthed and don't have birth certificates, or social security numbers.

 

Again, I am sure that is not true, since the children show up in birth indexes in both Texas and California. Generated by birth certificates, these are online public databases available to anyone who knows where to look. It includes only the children over 18, per state laws. I can see the kids there.

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This is not true. The older kids are reported in California and Texas birth indexes, indicating birth certificates filed at the times of their births. It's online information in public databases.

 

 

I thought I saw something indicating they were not married when the first child was born.

 

 

Not me. I find Virginia too intrusive. Besides, the way the homeschool law is written in Virginia, I could claim Religious Exemption and have no more reporting to the state required at all.

 

 

 

Again, I am sure that is not true, since the children show up in birth indexes in both Texas and California. Generated by birth certificates, these are online public databases available to anyone who knows where to look. It includes only the children over 18, per state laws. I can see the kids there.

Some of the posters you quoted were talking about hypothetical homeschoolers, not this particular family.

 

They were married when the wife was 16 and the husband 24, before children. The story is in some of the articles. They tried to elope to Texas, were found by police and brought back, then got married.

Edited by maize
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Not me. I find Virginia too intrusive. Besides, the way the homeschool law is written in Virginia, I could claim Religious Exemption and have no more reporting to the state required at all.

 

 

 

Again, I am sure that is not true, since the children show up in birth indexes in both Texas and California. Generated by birth certificates, these are online public databases available to anyone who knows where to look. It includes only the children over 18, per state laws. I can see the kids there.

Va laws are annoyong, and I feel they regulate testing too young. If public schooled kids aren't tested until 3rd grade, then why do have to test my 6yo? She made the k cutoff by a few days. I could have legally waited a year to start k, but as a homeschooler, she had to be on my noi, and she had to be tested with a nationally normed test (or we could have done the portfolio thing).

 

And, again, I wasn't referring to this family as homebirthers, but a hypothetical under the radar family, as we were discussing the difficulty of catching them all.

Edited by Guinevere
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There is no stopping a family culture of secrecy, at least for some. I was given an opportunity to disclose sexual abuse, by a caring, safe adult, but could not, at 14, overcome the family "no talk" rules to do so. When psychological abuse happens early and often.... never mind, too painful

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It seems as though there is a consensus around 1 regulation in particular, keeping close tabs on kids who are pulled from public school after a CPS report has been made. That won't prevent them from just moving, of course, but this group seems to be the most vulnerable.

 

In many states, there are already regulations to prevent parents involved in active child protective services regulations from withdrawing their children from public school.   

 

In a recent child welfare conference I attended (social workers and lawyers working as guardian ad items), a poll was done in which people raised their hands as to how many cases they had been assigned.  150 was about the average for social workers, it was well over 300 for GALs. 

 

So, even if you are on the radar, it doesn't mean that help is coming. Over 200 kids in state care in Texas died in 2016 alone. http://tpr.org/post/federal-judge-finds-texas-foster-care-system-unconstitutional

 

What do I think should be done?

1. Increase funding to local courts---for guardian ad litems.

2. Increase funding to the local foster care system---and de-privatize it.  Bring everything back under state control.

3. Increase funding for health insurance (particularly CHIP/medicaid), and continue the mandates for free annual checkups.  Add two free dental cleaning/checkups to the medical program. Better yet, create a single payor system. More contact with medical professionals is a good thing.

4. Increase funding to mental health services, mandate more coverage through insurance companies

5. Allow privately schooled children to access public school services without full registration in public school

6. Require registration of privately schooled students with a state database

7. Require testing of children at key points in their educational career---3rd, 7th, and 10th grades.  If a child falls below standards (low, like 15% low), or there are known issues, use evaluators. 

 

As to how to ensure students are registered---I think my idea is controversial, and not necessarily a good one, but it would be to tie their tax returns to their student records.  If someone wanted to go WAY astray, like by not listing their children on their returns, you're in that category of deviance that is just going to be hard to discover anyway....

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As far as I know, it’s standard in CA.

It is.  In fact, DD once wrote an essay about what she learned from a PE class about something else (character or friendships or something) and because it mentioned that this was a Christian group, the reviewer rejected it as a sample.  

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No. Where are y'all getting all these extra details - your news source?

 

I read that in a couple of different articles yesterday about this case.  Here's one about the parents living in a separate house in Texas from the children -- http://www.latimes.com/sns-bc-us--shackled-children-20180118-story.html

Edited by mom2samlibby
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Someone earlier in the thread mentioned they wondered what had happened to that family in Kentucky whose children were with CPS for a while.  I got curious too and googled. It looks like the kids are still at home since they built the shed tiny house, but she had a full term stillbirth in July.  I don't have the heart to read any more, but if you're curious their blog is called Blessed Little Homestead, they named the baby William, and there are photos of him on the blog.  So sad.

 

I'm not linking because I don't think it's right to link this situation to that one. Children living in poverty without adequate shelter and clothing isn't remotely like being confined and tortured.

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Someone earlier in the thread mentioned they wondered what had happened to that family in Kentucky whose children were with CPS for a while.  I got curious too and googled. It looks like the kids are still at home since they built the shed tiny house, but she had a full term stillbirth in July.  I don't have the heart to read any more, but if you're curious their blog is called Blessed Little Homestead, they named the baby William, and there are photos of him on the blog.  So sad.

 

I'm not linking because I don't think it's right to link this situation to that one. Children living in poverty without adequate shelter and clothing isn't remotely like being confined and tortured.

 

if they were responsible and living in poverty without adequate shelter would be a whole different ball game to those parents.  and they choose to live the way they do, and subject their chidlren to do.  it's not sanitary at all.  they don't even have a pit toilet. my mother was a child with a out house during the depression - it was more sanitary than that family.

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If you look at the photos...the boys seem to have fared better than the girls.  The oldest boy looks a decent enough weight although thin and was almost as tall as his Dad.

 

An abused, neglected, malnourished, undersized young adult in regular contact with a professional educator?  I thought that was supposed to be the solution?

 

Though, I don't think I've seen anything about who alerted authorities... (I wasn't home much yesterday.)

 

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Someone earlier in the thread mentioned they wondered what had happened to that family in Kentucky whose children were with CPS for a while.  I got curious too and googled. It looks like the kids are still at home since they built the shed tiny house, but she had a full term stillbirth in July.  I don't have the heart to read any more, but if you're curious their blog is called Blessed Little Homestead, they named the baby William, and there are photos of him on the blog.  So sad.

 

I'm not linking because I don't think it's right to link this situation to that one. Children living in poverty without adequate shelter and clothing isn't remotely like being confined and tortured.

 

There's a whole board about the Nauglers on Free Jinger.  

 

Kentucky's foster system must be more strained than most for those kids to go back. 

Edited by umsami
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If you look at the photos...the boys seem to have fared better than the girls. The oldest boy looks a decent enough weight although thin and was almost as tall as his Dad.

True but looking at pics of the mums sister seems like they are also short genetically as well.

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if they were responsible and living in poverty without adequate shelter would be a whole different ball game to those parents. and they choose to live the way they do, and subject their chidlren to do. it's not sanitary at all. they don't even have a pit toilet. my mother was a child with a out house during the depression - it was more sanitary than that family.

I believe they were required to get a porta potty.

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This is not true. The older kids are reported in California and Texas birth indexes, indicating birth certificates filed at the times of their births. It's online information in public databases.

 

 

 

not sure the baby , or youngest children, were.   

 

So it does seem that the youngest baby is mom's bio child, there are pregnancy photos and I think it was a hospital birth.

 

the "new mom in bed with baby photo" - with the baby was in bed at home.  there weren't any pics of her with the baby in a hospital.

 

It was infuriating to see her in front of the crib showing off her pg stomach - and noticing the carpet was clean.

 

her own brother and sister want them locked up for life.

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Apparently, the older children attended school at first before they were homeschooled. Here’s a Facebook post from a classmate: https://www.facebook.com/taha618

 

So, they were around mandated reporters on school days and that wasn’t enough to stop what was going on in their home life.

Thanks for posting.

 

I do think that had all the children been in school for years someone would have raised the alarm.

 

But then maybe the parents were starting to get questions and that is why they pulled the kids out.

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There's a whole board about the Nauglers on Free Jinger.  

 

Kentucky's foster system must be more strained than most for those kids to go back. 

Both Kentucky and Indiana are having a terrible opiod crisis- there just aren't enough homes for these children.

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Thanks for posting.

 

I do think that had all the children been in school for years someone would have raised the alarm.

 

But then maybe the parents were starting to get questions and that is why they pulled the kids out.

 

I heard that was the reason they didn’t send them back to school, the parents were afraid the kids would tell people about their home life.

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Apparently, the older children attended school at first before they were homeschooled. Here’s a Facebook post from a classmate: https://www.facebook.com/taha618

 

So, they were around mandated reporters on school days and that wasn’t enough to stop what was going on in their home life.

 

And she got to endure this at school, while going home to abuse:

 

 

Jennifer Turpin was the one girl at Meadowcreek Elementary that nobody wanted to be caught talking to. Every grade level had a designated "cootie kid" and she held the title for our year. She was a frail girl, had pin-straight hair with bangs, and often wore the same purple outfit. She was often made fun of by the other third graders because her clothes would sometimes look as though they had been dragged through mud, which she would also smell like on most days. I distinctly remember my entire third grade class scoffing at her one day because our teacher had asked her to discard a scrunchy she had used to tie her hair out of a discarded tin foil wrapper from an old Hershey's bar. After that year, Jennifer moved away, and she was forgotten about after we moved on to the the next "cootie kid."

 

 

 

This kind of stuff is exactly what I was talking about in my previous posts. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about the teacher calling her out for not having a real scrunchy and the whole class going in on it. I think it is super great if you all had/have schools that came alongside the smelly kid, or the poor kid, or the kid from the unstable home life that was a bit out there.  The above is more in line with my experience, having attended 2 different public elementary schools, one middle school, and four different high schools...in different regions of the country. Kids who are different don't usually even get the teacher's sympathy. Every school I went to had some version of the cootie kid mentality. Thankfully I was somewhere in the middle, not cool enough to be popular, but quiet enough to not be noticed by the popular crowd for ridicule.

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Collecting children...clearly as possessions of a sort...the matching names and matching outfits...not treating them as humans...

 

Seems this is a set of symptoms that ought to have a name. Does it?

 

I'm really struggling to understand wanting to have a bunch of kids --without loving the kids--.

 

I come from a double digit large family. It was clear at every point that each of us children was viewed as a full human being.

 

Clearly these children were not.

 

Children as items to be acquired?

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I heard that was the reason they didn’t send them back to school, the parents were afraid the kids would tell people about their home life.

 

when they were in texas - the three oldest played with a neighbor girl for a few months, then her mother asked one of the girls her name. she wasn't allowed to tell her, the parents found out and  that was the end of it, and the children were only allowed to play in their backyard, behind a fence.

this extreme behavior didn't start over night - it grew as the years went past.

 

And she got to endure this at school, while going home to abuse:

 

 

 

This kind of stuff is exactly what I was talking about in my previous posts. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about the teacher calling her out for not having a real scrunchy and the whole class going in on it. I think it is super great if you all had/have schools that came alongside the smelly kid, or the poor kid, or the kid from the unstable home life that was a bit out there.  The above is more in line with my experience, having attended 2 different public elementary schools, one middle school, and four different high schools...in different regions of the country. Kids who are different don't usually even get the teacher's sympathy. Every school I went to had some version of the cootie kid mentality. Thankfully I was somewhere in the middle, not cool enough to be popular, but quiet enough to not be noticed by the popular crowd for ridicule.

 

and so typical that children who live in bad environments at home (ranging from dysfunctional to abusive) - are the ones who get bullied at school.

and yes - teachers sometimes are the worst, because if they make a snotty comment about a student (in any students hearing) the other kids take it as permission to go after that student.

and not having a "proper scruncy - how petty can the teacher get . . . .

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After reading this post from the oldest's third grade classmate --  https://www.facebook.com/taha618/posts/10154979632211901, how can one be calling for more homeschooling regulations?  Some of the children were in public school at one time.  The classmate talks about how she smelled like poop everyday.  How did this teacher not intervene then?  And worse, instead of intervening, she picked on her also.  How was CPS not called them?  Those that are saying they got by with this because they were homeschooled and we need more intervention for homeschoolers are missing that these children were at one time in the public schools and were failed by that system.

 

There were just awful people (monsters) and it shows that no matter where those kids were -- public school, private school, homeschool -- they were going to be abused.    

 

 

Edited by mom2samlibby
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I actually had a child in my summer school program who was the target of taunts, seen and unseen, for his clothing and hygiene. We (a team of teachers) talked to the parent about it (made referrals etc., this was a non-profit summer enrichment program) and she immediately made changes to his washing routines that stopped the comments in their tracks w/o CPS. We gave mom and opportunity to fix it first but I could easily see an abusive parent taking the child and disappearing. Calling CPS wouldn’t have changed the outcome. What’s the right thing? Kids are not robots and they are going to comment on individuals with unpleasant aromas. There’s no excuse for a teacher or authority figure to participate but there’s also not much that can be done if a parent refuses to make any changes. Telling kids, don’t say anything (even if Tommy’s smell makes you gag) isn’t going to make Tommy feel better. Kids will still avoid him.

Edited by Sneezyone
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I actually had a child in my summer school program who was the target of taunts, seen and unseen, for his clothing and hygiene. We (a team of teachers) talked to the parent about it (made referrals etc., this was a non-profit summer enrichment program) and she immediately made changes to his washing routines that stopped the comments in their tracks w/o CPS. We gave mom and opportunity to fix it first but I could easily see an abusive parent taking the child and disappearing. Calling CPS wouldn’t have changed the outcome. What’s the right thing? Kids are not robots and they are going to comment on individuals with unpleasant aromas. There’s no excuse for a teacher or authority figure to participate but there’s also not much that can be done if a parent refuses to make any changes. Telling kids, don’t say anything (even if Tommy’s smell makes you gag) isn’t going to make Tommy feel better. Kids will still avoid him.

 

yes - abusive parents will probably disappear.

that's great the parent was willing to listen, most won't.

kids can be taught to emulate thumper and "if you can't say anything nice, dont' say nothin' at all."   yes, they'd probably avoid the child, but that isn't as bad as name calling or doing something else to make their lives miserable.  ('kick me" signs, pulliing chairs out, garbage in the desk)

 

I'd like to see people be more willing to be kind to those who are overwhelmed, and more support for mentally ill.   that is also likely to help prevent at least some of those who seek opiods for "self'medicating".

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yes - abusive parents will probably disappear.

that's great the parent was willing to listen, most won't.

kids can be taught to emulate thumper and "if you can't say anything nice, dont' say nothin' at all." yes, they'd probably avoid the child, but that isn't as bad as name calling or doing something else to make their lives miserable. ('kick me" signs, pulliing chairs out, garbage in the desk)

 

I'd like to see people be more willing to be kind to those who are overwhelmed, and more support for mentally ill. that is also likely to help prevent at least some of those who seek opiods for "self'medicating".

We certainly didn’t see or hear of anything like you described but the students’ comments and avoidance behaviors alone were plenty damaging. It’s hard for them to grasp (those with parents who do take care) that other parents might not be providing the same. Edited by Sneezyone
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If I was the teacher, the little girl would have found a whole ziplock baggie full of scrunchies in her desk. :(

Right???

 

(ETA by which I mean heck yeah!)

 

Also, this would have prompted me to get to know her better in case the home situation was discernibly off enough to exercise my duty as a mandated reporter. I'm not vindictive but it would be interesting if someone sought out that teacher for an interview.

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Last night there was an ABC News 20/20 special about the family.  I only saw the last few minutes on tv, but the show is available in 4 parts on the homepage today.  http://abcnews.go.com/

 

There's another family interviewed on the show.  The father had held his wife and children captive in NYC before one of the sons escaped.  There are some home movies of their life in the apartment.  

 

I'm still shocked that a neighbor of the Turpins said that he would see the children marching around a room for hours at a time in the middle of the night when he was getting home from work, and yet he never reported this.  He claimed he thought they were doing some kind of therapy!   

Edited by Laurie
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We certainly didn’t see or hear of anything like you described but the students’ comments and avoidance behaviors alone were plenty damaging. It’s hard for them to grasp (those with parents who do take care) that other parents might not be providing the same.

 

who is "we"?

 

I certainly experienced those things IN SCHOOL. IN the classroom.  more than once

 

I also experienced teachers leading the snotty comments.  those who tried to be nice - really really stand out - but no one really ever did anything that would have changed anything.

don't underestimate how many teachers/admins wish the more challenging children would just "go away" (because it makes more work for them.) - and they send that message to the 'victim' students, and the bullies.

 

a teacher found the kick me sign and pulled it off.  this was less than a year after my father od'd.  the only one I felt who cared about me was dead.  I couldn't grieve at home,  and I couldn't grieve at school.  and I wasn't ever allowed to express my feelings.  I though there was wisdom in the simon and garfunkle song "i am a rock".

 

I admit - some of the utter cluelessness I've seen in some of the comments has been downright infuriating.  these are children's lives, and it does have an impact on the rest of their life - even if they pull it together.

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Last night there was an ABC News 20/20 special about the family. I only saw the last few minutes on tv, but the show is available in 4 parts on the homepage today. http://abcnews.go.com/

 

There's another family interviewed on the show. The father had held his wife and children captive in NYC before one of the sons escaped. There are some home movies of their life in the apartment.

 

I'm still shocked that a neighbor of the Turpins said that he would see the children marching around a room for hours at a time in the middle of the night when he was getting home from work, and yet he never reported this. He claimed he thought they were doing some kind of therapy!

I remember the NYC family, they became the subjects of a documentary film.

 

They were locked in for a number of years but not deprived of food or beaten and shackled.

 

I think it sounded like paranoia on the father's part.

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