Prairie~Phlox Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 I have an 18 yo, will be 10 year member, 16 yo, 9 year member. Enrollment is due by Monday. Dh has always said they should complete the 10 years, but if I “forget to enroll†wouldn’t make a big deal or probably even notice. They’re not active in the club & don’t even attend the required amount of meetings any more for champion. They do 1 easy project just to get done. They’d rather not join tbh. I was a 10 year member showing livestock & loved it. But now it’s just something that no one really enjoys. But they’re so close to completing that I don’t know what to do. My boys really aren’t involved in anything else aside from working & church, but to me 4-H on their record just doesn’t weigh much. So what should we do? Have them complete the 10 years or save our $15 each enrollment fee. 😜 wwyd? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nevergiveup Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 Sounds like you want them to join more than they want to join. There is nothing in your post remotely compelling. "not active..don't attend...rather not join..." You have your answer--save your money. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prairie~Phlox Posted January 9, 2018 Author Share Posted January 9, 2018 Sounds like you want them to join more than they want to join. There is nothing in your post remotely compelling. "not active..don't attend...rather not join..." You have your answer--save your money. Thanks, actually I wanted them to quit years ago, but dh insisted they complete, yet he wasn’t doing anything to make sure they made it to meetings or completed things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 (edited) If they don’t really participate or contribute anything to the club, how would it be considered “completing†anything even if you did re-enroll? Edited January 9, 2018 by Word Nerd 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 At this point I would have them finish. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 They gave it a good go so I would let them quit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EMS83 Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 What does your DH say? Would he be willing to cart them to the meeting or wherever? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 (edited) I’d let them quit. But I may be looking for something else they could possibly do depending on how they spend their time. Like maybe volunteering somewhere. Edited January 9, 2018 by WoolySocks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 Does 4h still offer good scholarship opportunities in your area? Would it be something that would look really good on a college application? If so, I would consider it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prairie~Phlox Posted January 9, 2018 Author Share Posted January 9, 2018 If they don’t really participate or contribute anything to the club, how would it be considered “completing†anything even if you did re-enroll? All they have to do is complete one project to be considered completed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prairie~Phlox Posted January 9, 2018 Author Share Posted January 9, 2018 Does 4h still offer good scholarship opportunities in your area? Would it be something that would look really good on a college application? If so, I would consider it. They do, but you have to be extremely involved to even be considered, and the involvement needs to be all ten years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prairie~Phlox Posted January 9, 2018 Author Share Posted January 9, 2018 What does your DH say? Would he be willing to cart them to the meeting or wherever? He'd still rather they finish, but if I over look the deadline, there's nothing he could do. The 18 year old drives now and could take them, or they really could just forgo the meetings and at least complete one project. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prairie~Phlox Posted January 9, 2018 Author Share Posted January 9, 2018 I’d let them quit. But I may be looking for something else they could possibly do depending on how they spend their time. Like maybe volunteering somewhere. They both work and that takes up their extra time, so volunteering isn't likely, they do help with projects at our church, so I consider that volunteering. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freesia Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 I would just have them finish, bc it doesn't seem like a lot of work for anyone. But I'm like that. Of course in your situation I might put any responsibility for driving or completing things on dh bc in like that too. I have enough to do without dragging my kids through things that aren't my priority. But, finishing up when so close would be one of mine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 If they're not participating, them it's not really finishing. It's picking up a trophy (or whatever the prize is). I don't think that teaches anything. Regret from not having finished strong (my BIL faced this when he wouldn't finish his Eagle project and didn't earn the Eagle in scouting) can be a much better life lesson than mom pencil whipping the end to get them "done". YMMV 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 (edited) They’re not active in the club & don’t even attend the required amount of meetings any more for champion. They do 1 easy project just to get done. They’d rather not join tbh. I was a 10 year member showing livestock & loved it. But now it’s just something that no one really enjoys. But they’re so close to completing that I don’t know what to do. My boys really aren’t involved in anything else aside from working & church, but to me 4-H on their record just doesn’t weigh much. So what should we do? Have them complete the 10 years or save our $15 each enrollment fee. 😜 wwyd? Why would you enroll your kids in an activity nobody enjoys, just so that they can check the "completion" box? I fail to see the benefit of signing them up for an activity in which they do not actively participate and for which they do the bare minimum. I would let them quit and instead help them find an activity they would enjoy. Edited January 9, 2018 by regentrude 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 I don't really understand the 10-year number. Do you get an award for ten years? Otherwise, I'd say nine years looks just as good as ten years if you're thinking of a resume or college application. I'd let them quit. Unless, this is a commitment they made with your dh. Then, maybe it's good to honor a commitment? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 In our county, clubs are essentially penalized when ghost members join but don’t participate, as the total number of club members enrolled is used to determine percentage-based awards and contributions for completing various activities as a club. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 I would not intentionally go behind dh's back. That being said I would tell him it is a waste of money and that we would be better off with the money and he would be someone who would agree with that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bambam Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 So, you pay $15/child so they can say they completed 10 years? What is the benefit of that? Do they get some sort of local reward/award/memento? So it is just so they can say that they completed 10 years of 4-H? If someone were a fan of 4-H, they would immediately quiz them on what projects they were involved with, what contests, etc. It sounds like your children might respond with something like - oh, we did it because our parents made us? If they were involved, it sounds like something they could be proud of and look back at fondly. It sounds like they just don't care and it is almost a burden. Their 4-H experience sounds different than yours. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scholastica Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 I think I would put the ball in dh's court. Mention that the deadline is coming up but, for all the reasons you laid out here, you are disinclined to re-enroll. If he would like them to do it, then he should take it from there. If it's that important to him he'll make it happen. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peaceseeker Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 At those ages I would leave it up to my kids. Probably even before those ages actually. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 I think I would discuss it as a family. It would be hard for me to drop a 10-year goal after completing 9 years, especially something that doesn't sound very hard to do. But I'm not knowledgeable about what 10 years means as far as being able to put it on your resume or whatever. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 1. Sit down and talk this out as a family. I would not just "fail" to turn in the application. 2. If the boys are really not invested at all maybe it is because while DH says it is important he has not actually invested any of his time/effort to show it is important or why? 3. I would definitely take in the boys' input but also give DH a chance to weigh in on why this matters so much to him. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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