Would this concern you (child speech)? Update in #13

[JIN MOUSA]

DD7 sometimes pauses in the middle of a word. I did not even notice this until my FIL said that she needed to be in speech therapy for it. FIL has a habit of pontificating on topics about which he has done zero research and has no information, just letting everyone know how he *thinks* things should be. So I have a habit of ignoring his advice.  

 

Now DH works on correcting DD when she is speaking, telling her he can’t understand what she’s saying and that she needs to pause between words, not in the middle of them.

 

I doubt this is helpful, as I don’t think DD’s pausing is a conscious thing.

 

I’ve tried to pay attention to when she does it, and it seems to stem from maybe three things:

 

1. Her brain is way ahead of where her mouth is, and she's having a difficult time getting thoughts into words. 

2. She’s somewhat out of breath, either from running around or being really excited about what she’s saying.

3. She wants to maintain control of the conversation. Her capacity for talking far exceeds anyone in our family’s capacity for listening. If someone would listen to her, I expect she would talk for at least 15 hours a day. So by pausing mid-word, her thought clearly isn’t finished, and someone else cannot jump in and say anything. 

 

Again, I don’t think any of these reasons lead to a conscious pause in the middle of words. 

 

I don’t feel particularly worried; firstly, because FIL said she needed speech therapy, and he has no idea. I have no issue understanding her, but outside of maybe her sister, I’m the person that hears her speak the most. Also, I expect that these are things that she will grow out of.

 

But should I be worried?

 

 

eta: I forgot to bring this up with the pediatrician at DD’s most recent well child visit. Obviously I'd check with her ped if it seems like this is a concerning issue. 

Edited January 3, 2018 by JIN MOUSA

[maize]

I think this would fall under prosody, one of my children has similar issues and is receiving therapy for it.

 

Grandpa and dad need to back off though, they are not speech therapists. The only thing they are likely to accomplish is making her feel self conscious and insecure.

 

I would do whatever you need to to make that boundary clear.

Edited December 27, 2017 by maize

[Element]

My daughter did this for years! I had never heard anything like it. She finally outgrew it around age 10.5-11. She was eventually diagnosed with ADHD, so I wonder if there was a bit of a brain-mouth processing delay. Even now, when you ask her a question, it takes her quite a long time to begin to answer. At least the pauses now are *before* the words, rather than in the middle. 

[sassenach]

Can she control it when she thinks about it? Dd does this and some repeating of syllables. I brought her in for a speech evaluation and when she was conscious of her speech, she was totally fluent. The speech therapist basically came to the same conclusion as you- she was stalling because her mouth was ahead of her brain, and she was trying to maintain our attention by not pausing.

 

She still does this at 13 and I sometimes wonder if she maybe did need some intervention. However, she doesn’t seem to be impacted by it at all and she can still control it when I tell her to slow down.

 

I would take her in for an evaluation, because 1) it can’t hurt, 2) it’ll be better than your dh’s homecooked approach.

[rainbowmama]

Many places will do a free screening. Pick someone who specializes in fluency issues.

Edited December 27, 2017 by rainbowmama

[luuknam]

Since I've never heard her speak, I have no clue how often she does this, so I'm not sure - I wouldn't necessarily even bother with an eval. Could you ask a friend, preferably one with older kids who's been around her enough to hear her speak, and see if she has noticed and thinks it's an issue? Because I think this really depends on frequency - if it's a zillion times during the day, maybe look into it, if it's only a couple of times a day, meh. 

 

I agree with a PP - DH needs to back off. It's not going to fix it, will make her insecure, maybe even to the point of getting her to stutter eventually. 

[JIN MOUSA]

Thanks for the responses.

 

And that's a great idea about talking to some friends who hear her talk regularly. 

[Tanaqui]

Have you ever heard of the monster study? Turns out that by belittling how a child speaks, saying they're "hard to understand" and aggressively "correcting" their errors, you can create a child who has all the ancillary symptoms of a speech disorder without the speech disorder.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monster_Study

 

Don't let your husband do that. It's unkind and unhelpful.

 

Agree to get her evaluated, and then drop the issue at home unless a. she has a disorder and b. the SLP specifically recommends that you take a specific action about it besides bringing her to therapy.

[unsinkable]

 

DD7 sometimes pauses in the middle of a word. I did not even notice this until my FIL said that she needed to be in speech therapy for it. FIL has a habit of pontificating on topics about which he has done zero research and has no information, just letting everyone know how he *thinks* things should be. So I have a habit of ignoring his advice.

 

Now DH works on correcting DD when she is speaking, telling her he can’t understand what she’s saying and that she needs to pause between words, not in the middle of them.

 

I doubt this is helpful, as I don’t think DD’s pausing is a conscious thing.

 

I’ve tried to pay attention to when she does it, and it seems to stem from maybe three things:

 

1. Her brain is way ahead of where her mouth is, and she's having a difficult time getting thoughts into words.

2. She’s somewhat out of breath, either from running around or being really excited about what she’s saying.

3. She wants to maintain control of the conversation. Her capacity for talking far exceeds anyone in our family’s capacity for listening. If someone would listen to her, I expect she would talk for at least 15 hours a day. So by pausing mid-word, her thought clearly isn’t finished, and someone else cannot jump in and say anything.

 

Again, I don’t think any of these reasons lead to a conscious pause in the middle of words.

 

I don’t feel particularly worried; firstly, because FIL said she needed speech therapy, and he has no idea. I have no issue understanding her, but outside of maybe her sister, I’m the person that hears her speak the most. Also, I expect that these are things that she will grow out of.

 

But should I be worried?

 

 

eta: I forgot to bring this up with the pediatrician at DD’s most recent well child visit. Obviously I'd check with her ped if it seems like this is a concerning issue.

Is this the only time she pauses? Does she have any other times where she stops doing things at unusual times?

 

Like stops walking across a room, or during writing something?

 

Does she ever act spacey or is it hard to get her attention ?

 

I'd wonder if it cou!d be absence seizures if you see this more often than just while speaking.

[Tanaqui]

Unsinkable, I hadn't thought of that, but since you bring it up I'll link to a few YouTube videos of kids having absence seizures.

 

 

Link one

 

Link two

 

Link three

[KungFuPanda]

You’re not going to WANT to because your FIL is annoying, but I’d get the screening. They’re generally free and it’s not a tough process. Early help makes a big difference. As the mother, speech is not an area where you can be objective. Mothers understand their own child’s communication better than anyone. I KNOW people who never looked into their child’s speech quirks because they believed they were fine. Everyone sees it but the family. It’s a problem that could be reduced or eliminated before the teen years and nobody even tried. Look into it if for no other reason than to ease your mind. Don’t worry about FIL. Even a royal PITA will occasionally guess right.

[JIN MOUSA]

The absence seizures are something I had not considered - thanks for the videos! These pauses are much shorter, like just long enough to take a breath and continue speaking, so I don't think it's that. 

 

And I think y'all are right about getting a screening, especially if it's something easily addressed now, and also gives me and DH a professional's opinion on what to do (or not do). 

[JIN MOUSA]

DD had a screening today - they said she has Childhood Onset Fluency Disorder (a stutter). So it looks like we'll be starting speech therapy. 

 

The petty part of me doesn't want to tell FIL.

[kitten18]

DD had a screening today - they said she has Childhood Onset Fluency Disorder (a stutter). So it looks like we'll be starting speech therapy.

 

The petty part of me doesn't want to tell FIL.

Glad you got the eval.

 

Hugs on the FIL issue. I understand, mine is butthead.

[Starr]

At least with the therapy you can tell everyone else to leave her alone and follow only what the therapist directs. Hugs

[Tanaqui]

 

The petty part of me doesn't want to tell FIL.

 

So don't. He's not entitled to your child's personal medical information.

 

[JIN MOUSA]

So don't. He's not entitled to your child's personal medical information.

 

Well, I definitely won't. But intentionally keeping it from him would probably require wading into relationship issues between DH and FIL, and my pettiness is just not worth that. 

[katilac]

 

Don't let your husband do that. It's unkind and unhelpful.

 

 

I think it goes too far to say it's unkind. I'm sure dad is just trying to help her, and when dd was in speech there were specific things we were meant to intervene for. And I don't think that telling someone you can't understand them gets anywhere near "belittling" as specified in your link. 

 

Of course, they can now take the advice of the speech therapist on when to intervene and not, but I just thought it was harsh to say that dad was being unkind. 

 

Well, I definitely won't. But intentionally keeping it from him would probably require wading into relationship issues between DH and FIL, and my pettiness is just not worth that. 

 

Plus, you know your dd will let him know at the most inopportune moment!  :lol:

[JIN MOUSA]

I think it goes too far to say it's unkind. I'm sure dad is just trying to help her, and when dd was in speech there were specific things we were meant to intervene for. And I don't think that telling someone you can't understand them gets anywhere near "belittling" as specified in your link.

 

Of course, they can now take the advice of the speech therapist on when to intervene and not, but I just thought it was harsh to say that dad was being unkind.

 

 

Plus, you know your dd will let him know at the most inopportune moment! :lol:

Of course she will :lol:

[Crimson Wife]

Stuttering is often anxiety-related so you may want to consider having an evaluation by a psychologist.

[KungFuPanda]

Well, I definitely won't. But intentionally keeping it from him would probably require wading into relationship issues between DH and FIL, and my pettiness is just not worth that.

He’s annoying. I don’t doubt that, but is he pompous, annoying, AND a person who loves your child? You might have to give him this one and let go.