Dreading the end of break

[musicianmom]

Time for brutal honesty here. Is anyone else absolutely dreading the end of break? I love having my kids home, but I’m tired of the schoolwork battles. My two youngest hate reading, they hate math, they hate writing. Basically if it doesn’t involve playing outside or Legos or screens, they hate it. We’ve done private school before and I may be forced into it again just so they’ll get an education, but it would make me really sad to give up the homeschool lifestyle. And no, they don’t have any learning disabilities. They are extremely bright 8- and 10-year-olds who can do the work when they set their mind to it.

 

The only thing they will submit to willingly is being read to. Put a book in front of them or a pencil in their hands and they balk.

[2_girls_mommy]

I just made my planning list for January today of all of the co-op class planning, scout meeting, and school planning stuff I need to do today and tomorrow to be ready to start school next week. So depressing. I am right with you. Not because of my kids necessarily. I am just enjoying the domesticity of just being a mom and housewife these couple of weeks.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Homeschooling is a job.  It takes a lot of time and energy.  And just like any teaching, our students are not always bright eyed learners just waiting for us to pour knowledge into them.  And just like any job, once the honeymoon period is over, it can become a slog. 

 

For me personally, I had to think about why I was homeschooling in the first place.  Even in the tough times (and there have been many over the last 15 years) I always came back to homeschooling being the best for my kids.  So for me, the answer was to keep homeschooling and to just do my job.  Having said that though, I did find that I had to reevaluate on occasion to find the right approaches and materials for my kids.  The right approach and curriculum can make all the difference.

 

Good luck deciding on what is best for you and your children. 

[Critterfixer]

Not exactly dreading the end of break, but it's always hard for me to be motivated coming off a long break. I expect my two to feel the same way. However, I also expect that they will "hate" a lot of things that aren't their own idea, and they'll say so. That's okay--I don't always love teaching either. I have to focus on me, not them. What do I need to keep me motivated in the face of unrelenting teenage grumps and groans? What is necessary to make me feel confident that no matter how much they growl, I will be able to keep my cool and help them learn to keep theirs? 

 

For me that will involve making time in my schedule for my own projects, spending ample time outside in nature and ample time inside absorbed in creative work, getting out with friends from time to time, exercising some, resting plenty and not getting overwhelmed with all I have to do in a week.

Ironically, all of those issues are important for my boys, too, and when I make sure they get the time they need for what is important for them, we all get along a lot better.

[Elizabeth86]

No I'm excited. This is the time of year I get going. Talk to me at the beginning and August and September and I'm ready to put him on the big yellow bus. I'm a terrible starter of new, but great at finishing once we get rolling and I see how much progress we made.

[Ellie]

One year when my dc were 9 and 12, we were feeling pretty much the same way. And so I didn't start things up the middle of January as I normally did. In fact, we didn't do Official School Stuff again until the next August. We went to the library, and park day, and field trips, and homeschool choir and we were fine. Older dd began taking classes the *following* January at the community college (yes, she was 13), so those several months off didn't seem to hurt anything.

[Another Lynn]

We're switching things a bit for spring semester for my current 9th grader and I need to finish figuring out what that will look like.  I'm glad we're making some changes, but that doesn't mean we're both going to jump into the chorus in the same key.   :laugh:   I'm not dreading it, but a little apprehensive for sure!  

[wendyroo]

Dreading the end of break now would be like shutting the stable door after the horse has already bolted.

 

Today was day 3 of our new semester.  My kids just can't cope with extended breaks and being off routine, so we worked up through the 21st, and started back on the 27th.

 

The kids weren't over the moon thrilled about starting school again, but they didn't protest.  They were annoyed that CNN10 won't start up again for almost a week, but they were super excited to be starting SOTW 3 this semester.  Overall it was a painless transition back to school.

 

Wendy

[MerryAtHope]

Time for brutal honesty here. Is anyone else absolutely dreading the end of break? I love having my kids home, but I’m tired of the schoolwork battles. My two youngest hate reading, they hate math, they hate writing. Basically if it doesn’t involve playing outside or Legos or screens, they hate it. We’ve done private school before and I may be forced into it again just so they’ll get an education, but it would make me really sad to give up the homeschool lifestyle. And no, they don’t have any learning disabilities. They are extremely bright 8- and 10-year-olds who can do the work when they set their mind to it.

 

The only thing they will submit to willingly is being read to. Put a book in front of them or a pencil in their hands and they balk.

 

Maybe complaining has become a habit for them and they need some help changing that? 

 

I did find some things that helped with this over the years:

 

1, Having a regular routine. Not necessarily a "clock-oriented" day, but just a regular pattern. Then I wasn't saying "no" to requests to play or watch videos--it was a scheduled, expected time of the day when they got to do those things. Having a routine that accounted for their desires as well as their needs helped them to see they could have time for both.

 

2, Workboxes--when my kids knew what to expect, how many subjects were left, and everything was very concrete and visual, it helped them relax. It also made the workboxes the one telling them what to do rather than me directly. I know that sounds funny, but it really changed up the dynamic in a helpful way.

 

3, we had some one-on-one talks where I mainly listened. What did they like, what didn't they like--why didn't they like it? If they could change one thing about the way we do school, what would it be? And so on. If they said "I don't know" or "not do math" or some other similarly unhelpful response, I asked them to think about it some more and said I was truly interested in their input. I also said things like, "Well, we can't not do math, but we can change how we do it or even what curriculum we use." They knew I was serious about working with them on making things better.

 

4, we also had some one-on-one talks about working w/o complaining. I don't always love every task I have to do. Would they like to live in a home where mom complained about cooking or cleaning or driving kids places? Or would they rather live in a home that's peaceful and enjoyable? What makes a home that way? This was not a one-time talk, but one that came up a few times over the years and at times made  an obvious difference. (Not a night and day kind of difference--of course kids will be kids!, but you could tell that there were definite times when the kids were working on their attitudes.)

 

5, I changed my expectations. I knew my son almost always hated math. Big deal. I hated some subjects in school and loved others. Some kids really don't love many academic subjects but love to do other things like holding doors open for people or making things with their hands etc... Sometimes homeschool curriculum companies or even general homeschool perceptions that are out there make it seem like your kids should love everything about school, and that's just an unrealistic expectation. Smile and walk away if they start to grumble. Once I stopped feeling that it was my job to make my kids "love" everything, it didn't bother me as much--it no longer felt like some kind of reflection on me or the job I was doing (or at least less so--I had my moments!). 

 

Hang in there!

[Lori D.]

Love, love, LOVE MerryAtHope's post, and I was hoping she would chime in. She says it so much more eloquently than I can. ;)

 

But that was really my thought, too, MusicMom -- that this sounds like an attitude issue, and that a 10yo and 8yo are old enough to work on attitude, but probably will need some help in doing so. My suggestion would be to start slow on academics (just do a few subjects the first week back, then add a few more the second week back, and get up to full speed in week 3 of the spring semester), and use that extra time not being spent on academics to working on attitudes and implementing some of MerryAtHope's ideas.

 

Wishing you a smooth and peaceful spring semester! Warmest regards, Lori D.

Edited December 29, 2017 by Lori D.

[fralala]

Because I have a compulsion to (sometimes obnoxiously, and I apologize if this is the case here) reframe things in a positive light, your kids enjoy being read to, playing outside, and playing with Legos. Those are pretty cool. And it's awesome that they have plenty of time for those things!

 

What do your kids say when you tell them that you're dreading going back to school because of their response to you/attitude about reading, math, writing? Or when you tell them you're thinking about sending them to school, even though it saddens you a lot, because of the stress their reactions are causing you? (You don't actually have to answer these questions here, but I wonder if you've been able to talk to them about it at a relaxed time, like vacation, rather than just in the heat of the moment, when it's hard to be willing to listen to what each other have to say. It has been valuable to me to get some suggestions from my kids on how we might solve that problem here.)

 

If this was more of a JAWM/vent, I'm there with you, all the way. As a kid, I loved reading. I asked for more math homework because I so enjoyed it. I homeschool in part because I thought I could do an even better job of supporting my kids' love of learning than the schools. But they seldom want to read (to themselves) until it's bedtime and the only other option is sleep. They will willingly work on math-- for about 5 minutes daily before beginning to gripe, "Can I stop now?" My sister, whose public schooled kids love reading and math, reframed this for me (we are related) by pointing out that for my kids, spending time together playing and having access to our home and backyard is so much fun that they are able to create and imagine lots of possibilities for their daily activities that just might not even be an option for her kids at school. (Thanks, sis.) So rather than thinking of the "Awww, do I have to?" as reflecting sloth and a bad attitude toward learning in general, I try to think of it as a positive reflection of Everything Else we have going on at home. (And sometimes, as a hint that I need to temporarily get rid of the most tempting, but least beneficial, things that tempt my kids around here. Those wouldn't be the Legos, or the backyard, but for us, the screens. Ymmv; they can also be wonderful tools for learning; it all depends on how they're used.)

[RootAnn]

I'm not looking forward to the math facts that have fallen out of some heads or reteaching certain topics they've forgotten, but it will be nice to be back in a routine.

 

Most of the kids have something new to look forward to (boys switch from science to history), oldest starts dual enrollment, dd#2 will start an author-fiction-writing class (recorded).

 

New online class offerings will be out in Feb or Mar, so I have something to look forward to, also.