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Gift Equity


sassenach
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Gift equity  

120 members have voted

  1. 1. What's more important?

    • Same number of gifts
      55
    • Same dollar value of gifts
      44
    • I don't think gift equity is important at all
      21


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I've always done the same number of gifts. We all take turns opening gifts Christmas morning so it would seem weird to me if one dc had more to open.

 

I've never really kept the money equal and sometimes it's way off. They've each had years where something they really wanted or needed was more expensive than anything the other wanted. Oldest doesn't really want anything this year and knows he will have an expensive year next year since he's going off to college. Youngest really wanted a nice art portfolio this year and she needs it so I spent quite a bit more on her this Christmas.

We take turns too. Ds10 is getting way more money spent on him this year because he needs a decent quality tennis racquet. Ds8 doesn't need anything like that so his presents cost less.

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I guess we're grouping by age at my house.

 

My 19yo ds is difficult to buy for.  He's getting a few reasonably priced things he needs, a couple of inexpensive but neat things for fun, and a nice sized Visa gift card.

 

My teen dds have more items than ds, but the same as each other, I think.  Two fairly expensive things, and some inexpensive stuff like t-shirts and paperback books. 

 

My younger two boys have equal number (to each other, more than the big kids), and the value is close to equal, but not per-gift.  I think their "big gifts" are probably around $40 apart.  But one's smaller gifts run a little higher, total, than the other's.

 

One thing that kinda chapped my hide this year is that the little boys asked for slippers.  Which is just weird, because they're constantly peeling off their socks and leaving them all over the place.  :glare:   But I couldn't find "matching" pairs anywhere in their sizes.  I got one's pair for $5 at Target, and had to shell out $19.99 on Amazon for the other's.  :001_rolleyes:

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Between all four kids, we aim to have the same number of "big" gifts and roughly the same number of gifts overall.

 

How much we spend on each kid depends on what they want/need that particular year, but it does tend to increase as they get older. 

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We do three gifts, but not because we want to keep things equal (that’s not an issue for our small family). We give to the children in the extended family, though. I spend a lot of effort trying to match gifts with interest and ability. That is more important to me than quantity or cost, as long as I stay within my overall budget.

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The options are pretty black and white, but I chose # of gifts for my situation, because my kids are close in age and too young to realize some of the differences in cost.  For example, if I get them both pajamas in a theme, style, and color each of them likes, they will not be cognizant of the fact that one pajama cost 2x what the other one cost.  That said, I do generally target a relatively reasonable balance in terms of value.

 

When kids are significantly different ages, I think you go with what the kids will value.  A 15yo may value an expensive jewelry item or a valuable keepsake Bible, while a 5yo would be delighted with 2 or 3 bulky plastic toys costing a lot less.  I would expect the 15yo to not be concerned if the 5yo "got more" in any case.

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I should note that I have one kid who cares about "gift equity" or, more bluntly, making sure her sister doesn't get more.  Personally I view this as a character flaw or room for improvement (depending on whether she grows out of it).  I believe Christmas is about making both kids happy, so I'm not going to use that day to prove a point.  If seeing sister get "more" is going to hurt, I'm going to try to avoid that on Christmas - I can work on it at other times of the year.

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I get close on number of gifts but don't pay attention to the money too much.  Like there have been years one needs a laptop for school, but might like it for gaming.  Or once one kid got a musical instrument. I consider both of those homeschool related expenses. And the other might have a smaller year.  They almost 4 years apart so they have been at fairly different places at many ages, though they are both teens now.  95% of the gifts I wrap and put under the tree lean toward stuff I would buy anyway, even when they were smaller.  Educational toys, science kits, books, clothes maybe a step nicer than I would normally buy, pajamas, wool socks, etc.   I don't really do much trinket stuff.  They get candy and maybe a few novelty item/collectible kind of things.

 

My mom used to keep a spread sheet to keep my brother and I within pennies.  I think that is weird.  LOL.  Especially weird since my parents (and now my mom) have thrown money at my brother hand over fist since he graduated high school.

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Number equity and "perceived value" equity, over money equity. 

 

We do three gifts for each kid, and like a pp, I juggle what gets wrapped together or separately to end up with three gifts.  This year my youngest is getting three things, each wrapped separately.  My middle is getting three groups of things (each group is made up of related things and are wrapped together), and my oldest is getting two groups and a single.  I start with the same amount of money budgeted for each kid, but if I score a great deal for one, and don't need the extra money for that one's other presents, I put the extra wherever it would be helpful.  This year I was able to get some wow-factor gifts for my middle for a great deal - honestly, the non-deal price is well over budget - so she is simultaneously getting the most "money value" presents and having the least actual money spent on her.

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