SKL Posted December 18, 2017 Author Share Posted December 18, 2017 Oh yeah, and a pinch to grow an inch ... and a shake for a piece of cake ... I agree it's not so nice when other kids do it. Sometimes my sibs would whack me - not fun. But the parent(s) on a little one, just cute. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elizabeth86 Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 (edited) We do. The kids decided they would start doing it to us too. I don't guess I really need to say this, but it is extremely gentle. If our kids didn't like it we wouldn't do it, but for whatever reason they really think it's funny. I wanted to add, I can totally imagine what a horrible thing this sounds like if you didn't do this as a kid. My dad did birthday spankings, they were just funny. As a side note, neither one of my parents ever 1 time used spanking as a punishment. Edited December 18, 2017 by Elizabeth86 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomeAgain Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 We don't, but my 7yo has recently latched onto a phrase he read in a castle book: 'vae nabitus' (woe to the buttocks! and I'm probably spelling it wrong). And he goes around the house saying it as we swat him playfully. I think that might be incorporated into his birthday celebration this year. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 This thread made me think of that recent study about how a certain amount of rough play/ wrestling with adults and being pushed a bit too high on the swing helped reduced anxiety in preschoolers... I guess in a healthy functional family it might be just like that. I think the connotations of play spanking are too weird now though for it to be a thing. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 We did as I was growing up but all in fun, no one was hurt. We have occasionally done it with dd, and like other posters it ends with everyone laughing. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 So many things I thought were normal turned out to be random, obscure Appalachian things, so I admit to nothing anymore. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavender's green Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 Ha! I had forgotten all about that. Yes, we did birthday spankings, plus "a pinch to grow an inch" at the end. Usually parents and grandparents with aunts and uncles cheering them on, but I also vaguely recall having to crawl through everyone's legs and getting a whack or multiple slaps from each cousin, and I had a lot of them. It was all meant to be light and in good fun. I loathed it. I just don't "get" styles of teasing that are physical or mean on the surface, but underneath it's supposed to be "Haha, this is fun." It's right up there with cake smashing at a wedding, IMO. Plus I don't get why it goes from a private space to a fair game for everybody space. I think that sends weird signals and was a big part of why I hated it. However, much as I hated it, happy as I am to let the tradition die with me, weird as it was to have people slapping my personal space and calling it fun, I carry no grudges about it. Just one of those annoying family rites of passage that can be left behind when you fly the nest. So, no, we don't do that with our kids. I'm gonna tell them all about what they're missing out on when we have our next round of birthdays, though! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 My sister was fond of giving me a good pinch to grow an inch. I had buried that memory. Pinching might be cultural too. I remember the man who owned the corner store where I grew up would pinch all kids' cheeks, he was Lebanese. I've since found from a friend living in Turkey that ladies there always pinch cheeks, and my cousin's family from Bethlehem also does it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenade Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 I don't think my parents ever did it, but we kids always joked around about it. It was more a kid/friend/sibling thing than a parent thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 Never heard of it was my answer though I guess I have and just don't remember since I read Little House in the Big Woods and I think I may have even read it aloud (but not sure since the kid that I know did read it was reading by then). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 Birthday spankings? Ha, this was more of a thing when I was growing up. It was never a family custom though. I don't see it happening anymore. It seems kind of funny now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbecueMom Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 We don't do them, but I've heard of it, and our kids would LOOOOOOOVE it if we did. So no one tell them. They think the whole concept of spanking is absolutely hilarious. I'm not sure if they understand it's often meant as a punishment. They heard it a couple times in books, and now they run around on the playground, chasing each other and yelling, "Get back here so I can spank you!" in their best cranky old lady voice. Of course, this probably horrifies everyone in the crunchy secular homeschool park day group, and they're all clutching their hippy, gentle mothering pearls while I'm sneaking off and no longer wondering why I don't fit in. Kids are weird. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amber in SJ Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 We would get birthday kisses & hugs plus a "pinch to grow an inch & a smile to grow a mile," without any actual pinches. I was the kid who didn't appreciate being touched so I was not the biggest fan of the all kisses & hugs either :) If there had been a spanking tradition at school I would have flat out refused, which I am sure would have increased my popularity exponentially. :001_rolleyes: Amber in SJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 Wow, I'm another person in the camp of "buried childhood memories." We always did in in elementary school (paddywhack machine) and some teachers would do it too (along with the pinch to grow an inch). However, even more embarrassing was the 7th grade English teacher who would have the class sing Happy Birthday and then he'd say "13 years old and never been kissed!" to which the class would respond based on their knowledge of the birthday person's kissing experience (or lack thereof). As I type this out, I am in disbelief that this happened, but I swear it did!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 1. Yes I have heard of it and seen it but had forgotten since that was not the custom for my immediate family and had not seen it for years (here locally the tradition is to shove the child's face into their cake). 2. Yes, at one of my schools it was done for birthdays. 3. Yes, it was supposed to be a fun thing, not a true spanking. 4. No, I do not do this with my own family. Frankly, I hate the idea. Really hate the idea. And the time I experienced it in school it was HORRIBLE. Everyone was supposed to have a turn. I felt helpless and attacked and some of the kids hit hard. I find it confusing and potentially emotionally harmful to tell a child that you are hitting them (however lightly) as a celebration of their being born and especially if THEY HAVE NO CHOICE. But I recognize that for others this is a fond funny thing that works for their family. More power to you if that works for your family. I am not condemning others if it works for them. I just hate the idea for me and mine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 Oh my goodness! My SIL does this and she is a public school teacher. Once she was doing it to one of her students when the principal walked in . . . LOL!! She was like "birthday spankings!!" Oh, and yes, definitely, not a real hit--very light. I still crack up and her story about the principal walking in on her doing it. I had never heard of it before her. If this had ever happened to one of my kids, you can bet there'd be hell to pay in that school. I see nothing funny or nostalgic in this custom. This thread made me think of that recent study about how a certain amount of rough play/ wrestling with adults and being pushed a bit too high on the swing helped reduced anxiety in preschoolers... I guess in a healthy functional family it might be just like that. I think the connotations of play spanking are too weird now though for it to be a thing. My family is very healthy and functioning. My kids still don't have anxiety and didn't when they went to school either. We skipped pre-school. We've brought up our kids as working parts of the family and not "kids." Personally, I think that helps more than anything else. Skip the baby talk and hush hush "kid" talk. One doesn't need pretend spanking just for being born to ease anxiety. It's a horrible memory from my childhood that's been brought back to the surface. NOT all kids like it - even IF the parents do for some unexplainable to me reason. (Obviously some do like it - including my parents, but I'll never "get/understand" the reason for it.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbecueMom Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 To be fair, birthdays are kind of creepy celebrations if you think too deeply about it. I mean, it's a public recognition of two people getting it on. And if you want to get fatalistic, congratulating a human being on an existence they never consented to, one that will at some point be marred with pain and eventual death. Cheers! :D 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 To be fair, birthdays are kind of creepy celebrations if you think too deeply about it. I mean, it's a public recognition of two people getting it on. And if you want to get fatalistic, congratulating a human being on an existence they never consented to, one that will at some point be marred with pain and eventual death. Cheers! :D Hmm, shouldn't the celebration of two people getting it on occur 9 months earlier more or less? :lol: We celebrate that a new family member joined us. To us, there's a lot to celebrate about that - absolutely none of which involves pretend spanking or pinching. We're happy, not upset nor worried about infractions they might cause or whatever the spankings are supposedly for. Spankings are for gross violations of what should have been done - often dangerous things - at least,in our family that was their purpose - to help their mind remember that "wow, I really shouldn't have done that" if they were to think about repeating something. Being born is not one of those things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 I've heard of it, but always as soft pats, not actual smacks. It's never been a tradition in my family or my husband's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted December 18, 2017 Author Share Posted December 18, 2017 True, birthdays are kind of weird to begin with. And I have at least 1 kid who would rather have a whack on the butt than a piece of cake. :P Does anyone here like Stevie Wonder's song Isn't she Lovely? In it a little tot (his own daughter?) says "beat me" and he laughs and gives her some pretend beats. To me it's sweet - it is an aspect of trust between child and parent. I'm like that with my kids - fake beats and wrestling and playing monster and all sorts of things that are fun for us, however strange they might seem in writing on the internet. :P I get that it isn't everyone's cup of tea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted December 18, 2017 Author Share Posted December 18, 2017 This thread made me think of that recent study about how a certain amount of rough play/ wrestling with adults and being pushed a bit too high on the swing helped reduced anxiety in preschoolers... I guess in a healthy functional family it might be just like that. I think the connotations of play spanking are too weird now though for it to be a thing. There's probably something to that. I get that it isn't for everyone, but I can see how it could be true for many. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 We had to go through the spanking machine ... crawl through a bunch of people's legs and get spanked as you passed. The last person got to count out swats for the birthday. I hated it. 4 of my siblings were significantly older than me and one brother liked to hit hard. He had a mean streak in him. My parents laughed. I never found it fun or funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne in ABQ Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 I said "parents did it, we don't" but I think it was really my older brothers who did it to the three of younger kids (there was a wide age gap between the two groups of kids). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted December 19, 2017 Share Posted December 19, 2017 If this had ever happened to one of my kids, you can bet there'd be hell to pay in that school. I see nothing funny or nostalgic in this custom. My family is very healthy and functioning. My kids still don't have anxiety and didn't when they went to school either. We skipped pre-school. We've brought up our kids as working parts of the family and not "kids." Personally, I think that helps more than anything else. Skip the baby talk and hush hush "kid" talk. One doesn't need pretend spanking just for being born to ease anxiety. It's a horrible memory from my childhood that's been brought back to the surface. NOT all kids like it - even IF the parents do for some unexplainable to me reason. (Obviously some do like it - including my parents, but I'll never "get/understand" the reason for it.) No I don't think so either. But then I'm not really a fan of any of the rough play or wrestling or any of it really. I'm sorry that's how it was for you as a child. I can imagine that being traumatic. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted December 19, 2017 Share Posted December 19, 2017 No I don't think so either. But then I'm not really a fan of any of the rough play or wrestling or any of it really. We never did rough play or wrestling in our family. The only sport the lads did was soccer (hubby coached many of their years). They did chess too, but that's a different sort of sport. ;) My kids were outside enjoying life though, not holed up inside. On playgrounds my kids might have been some others worried about (hurting themselves). Youngest still climbs very high in trees... They rode ponies - and helped care for them. They were all scuba certified pretty young, youngest at age 10 (the youngest possible). They were good at snorkeling before that. That might have made a difference? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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