Do your kids exchange gifts? Help!

[Meadowlark]

So, when I was in elementary school...they had a "santa's village" where they set up a store and kids could bring their penny money and buy gifts for their family. It is one of my favorite memories because I LOVED secretly buying things for my parents and siblings. Then I thought, my kids don't have the opportunity to do that.

 

Moneysaving mom ironically posted this morning about how she gives her kids $6 to buy stocking stuffers for each other from the Dollar Tree.  They sneak around the store and choose something for each other. How fun! But, then I thought-do I really want 36 Dollar Tree things in my house? Ugh...not sure about that. I can't stand clutter and junk.

 

But, I still really want my kids to experience the joy of shopping and spending money, and wrapping...

 

Any ideas?

 

Do you do stocking stuffers? (we do Santa here so now sure how that'd work) Do the kids wrap? When do they give them? 

Edited December 5, 2017 by Meadowlark

[SKL]

My kids still get stuff at the "candy cane shop" that their school puts together every year.  If they didn't, I'd give them a little money (or let them use their own money) to go around some store that had cheap stuff.  Pat Catan's has been a good option for us - they have a nice variety at many price points.

 

 

They wrap the gifts and put them under the tree to be opened on Christmas morning.

 

Yes, you will end up with silly stuff you don't need.  Hopefully it ends up being consumable or at least small stuff.  :)

Edited December 5, 2017 by SKL

[Aura]

First, we have a sibling swap. (I have six kids, too.) Every year, on Thanksgiving weekend, we put up Christmas decorations. When that's done, all the kids' names go into a hat, and they draw a name. They get the sibling they drew a present in a prescribed budget. We typically do shopping online now, but dh and I have carted up the kids, split into two groups, and gone shopping. 

 

We started this when I had just two kids and they'd each get the other a present. With the tiny littles, I'm really the one who picked out the present, but I'd involve the child as much as they were capable.

 

Second, the kids get together and "buy" something for a parent, with the help of the opposite parent. So I help them pick a collective gift for dh, and dh helps them get a collective gift for me.

 

Third, the pets have stockings. The kids get to help pick inexpensive gifts for them. LOL

 

Fourth, this year, we're doing baskets for their neighborhood friends' families. We're planning on leaving the baskets in an "elfed" style on Christmas eve. 

[Tap]

Yes, but we buy regular gifts (about $20-40) per person. I have 3 kids and I fund the gift exchange, except ds23 buys his own for the girls.  

 

Our tradition is that the kids open the gifts to/from  each other on Christmas eve before we travel to the in-laws.  Gifts are often something they can to do while they travel.  Nintendo DS game, toy etc.  We open the rest on Christmas day. 

Edited December 5, 2017 by Tap

[ashfern]

I take mine to the store 5 Below. They can usually find something for each other there and nothing is more than $5. They really like picking things out for each other.

[ScoutTN]

Of course! My kids love to shop for each other and for us. We just budget this as part of Christmas. My kids are old enough to have earned money and they usually spend their own money on each other's gifts. Not all gifts come from Santa!

In our family, Santa's gifts are not wrapped. They are in and under kids' stockings. Gifts from family members are wrapped and under the tree.
Kids get into the Santa gifts immediately upon waking. Wrapped gifts are for after breakfast and opened one at a time. Gifts from Santa are usually all fun, while ones from us are often more practical.

My kids are 10 and 12, so Santa is suspension of disbelief at this point, but still fun.

In my family of origin, once everyone was teen or older, we moved to each person putting one item (wrapped) into each person's stocking when no one was looking. Very fun to see the stockings fill day by day. Not junk, but usually not expensive gifts.

 

 

eta: We only do gifts for our family and my mom, so not many gifts to buy. We do baked goods for teacher gifts and ILs and extended family. 

Edited December 5, 2017 by ScoutTN

[Jaybee]

We, too, have six kids. So several years ago, we went to drawing names between them (and now there are two in-laws, as well, so it keeps getting bigger). It has kept things from getting too out of hand.

[Rosika]

My kids exchange gifts, but they're required to be handmade/homemade. They've been doing this their entire lives, since being toddlers. ETA: I have six kids, too. 

 

That can get expensive, like the year my daughter made every one of her brothers a leather belt (which also required the purchase of punching tools.) Or it can be super cheap, like the following year when she wrote every brother a personalized haiku and framed it in re-painted Dollar Tree frames. This year she's making the baby a felt book, and her older brothers two things: beef jerky and flavored tooth picks. 

 

It's always a secret, sometimes done "in pairs" (together) although I encourage them to do it individually. This year the older four are building my daughter a playhouse, and my baby a play kitchen. These are always the best gifts under the tree!! And it requires them to pay attention to each other's likes, dislikes, and to be gracious about receiving gifts - and about doing our best effort in giving them, too (nobody wants a half-assed gift. It's happened.)

 

My baby is newly 1 year old so there's not much he can do this year. Each of the older kids has a favorite sports team, for which they bought him a onesie when he was born. Now that he's outgrown the onesies, "his" gift to them will be me re-purposing those onesies into little decorative pillows. Starting next year he'll be able to help bake for them, etc. 

Edited December 5, 2017 by Rosika

[cjzimmer1]

Yep, we do the dollar store run.  Although we usually have multiple runs because I won't take more than 2 at a time (individual is best but some years I don't have time to make 5 separate trips - my 4 year old doesn't shop yet).  These have always been funded by us.  Yes we do get a bunch of little junk but for the most part they end up picking up consumable items so at least they aren't around long term.  

 

As the kids have gotten older and have some of their own money, they have branched out and bought nicer things.  I think the only one I'm funding this year is the 9 year old.  Everyone else has earned some money and has chosen to set it aside for Christmas gifts rather than spending it on themselves.

[mamaraby]

I have three kids and budget per kid. What typically happens is we all head out to the store and one parent hangs out with the one kid while the other parent takes the other two to buy a joint present for the one sibling. Then we switch. Since it’s a joint present, we only buy a total of three extra presents and they aren’t generally dollar store type things (not that there is anything wrong with that if that’s what fits the budget).

 

I have not budgeted for gifts from kids to parents.

[Night Elf]

I never took my kids to buy gifts for siblings or their dad and I regret that. My oldest dd does give gifts to my other two because her stepmom impressed upon her that she buy a gift for everyone. Oldest dd also has a good job so it's no hardship to spend $15 for each sibling. She buys for me and my DH too but I try to give her ideas that will be less than $15. My youngest two kids don't buy gifts for any of us, not even the parents. They're young adults now and not close at all. My dd's are friends but it's like they don't know their brother at all and he certainly doesn't know them. If I took them to go buy gifts for each other, I'd have to make the suggestion on what to buy. They'd be clueless. And I'd have to pay for youngest dd's gifts because she has very little money being in college full time. Ds has a big savings that he earned from working for a year so he could afford it but wouldn't it be weird for me to say for the first time, you need to go buy a gift for both siblings and DH?

[amy g.]

My kids make presents for each other. My 8 year old has been having a blast making a comic for her 23 year old sister. I know my 11 year old is doing watercolors for sibling gifts.

 

We had so much fun putting up the tree and looking at ornaments they made each other in years past. They also make gifts for any aunts and uncles who will be with us on Christmas.

[hepatica]

My kids have always gotten gifts for each other, ever since about age 2. There are 5 of us so that is the bulk of our Christmas. We each all get a gift for one another. They also get one Santa gift and gifts from grandparents. That ends up being plenty of gifts and I love how hard they work to pick out meaningful gifts for each sibling, and for DH and I. I funded this when they were small. I took them each out to buy gifts and paid for them. Now, they all have pet sitting clients and often have more disposable cash than I do, so they buy their own.  They all wrap their own gifts. DS9 already has his under the tree. I think he likes giving gifts even more than receiving them.

 

We also do a Secret Santa amongst the five of us for the month of December.  These are just little random gifts like a chapstick or a candy cane left randomly about a few times a week. It's fun finding places to hide these where the recipient will find them. 

 

I love that they all give each other gifts. I think it is a practice well worth cultivating. 

[Alice]

We only have three kids so it’s easier than if we had a lot. They each buy their subs presents. They do it online, with my help. They get an allowance so they use that. We do the same for birthdays.

 

Two are very into giving gifts and typically make something for me and dh.

[scholastica]

We draw names. We have four kids and they don't each need three more gifts. We have enough stuff. One sibling gift is sufficient. We draw names in early Advent and they try to do kind things for one another during Advent.

 

There are 12 grandkids on dh's side and we draw names for one cousin gift too. It really cuts down on the accumulation.

[Beaniemom]

I take mine to the store 5 Below. They can usually find something for each other there and nothing is more than $5. They really like picking things out for each other.

We do the same thing. I only have 3 kids so they eachget $11 (allowing for tax) and get to shop and pay on their own. They have a tote bag to hide purchases and I wait for them at the front of the store.

[carriede]

Right now, we all go shopping together, DH included. Usually we end up at Barnes and Noble because they have games, books, and toys.

 

DH and I will split up and trade off children until each one has a small present for each sibling and each parent. The kids books help spread the average cost out, but I can see this becoming a problem soon.

 

I really like the idea someone else mentioned about a name exchange among the children.

 

Giving the opportunity for the children to GIVE gifts is important to us. We also purchase several gifts for our church's angel tree every year.

Edited December 5, 2017 by carriede

[wendyroo]

My kids "buy" each sibling a gift, though I provide the funds.

 

I take each child out individually for a couple hours and we hit a few stores.  We have, like, 6 Goodwills within 20 minutes of us, and I find those to be a great option.  The kiddos can browse books, clothes, toys (normally much better quality than the Dollar Store for not much more money), games and puzzles, sporting goods, etc.  Since thrift stores are very hit and miss, I do stash away some good stuff that I have found over the course of the year, so that I can pull it out to give them more options if necessary.  If they still can't find any good options, I'll take them to Bargain Books and let them choose something there.

 

So far, Peter found an ADORABLE zoo animal raincoat for Audrey ($1.99), a Thomas the Train sheet set for Spencer ($2.99), and a motorized Matchbox car track which came with a bag of cars for Elliot ($4.99).

 

Audrey is giving all the boys Star Wars pajamas that I've found at the Goodwill over the last few months.

 

I'm taking Elliot and Spencer shopping (individually) this coming weekend.

 

Wendy

[OrganicJen]

We strictly do handmade gifts if it comes from a kid. I want them to learn about giving of their time and talents to others instead of spending money on them. So even if it's just a hand scribbled and decorated card or picture or a painted rock, they have been taught that they should never buy gifts for us or each other and that something they made is far more valuable.

[SKL]

I was going to suggest making gifts, but then I remembered how hard it is to have to organize (i.e. mostly get rid of) the many many many handmade gifts our kids give us.  My kids give me homemade stuff all year long (even now as 6th graders) and I can't possibly keep them all, let alone display or otherwise use them.  Maybe if my kids did needlecraft or similar ....

 

Now that they are older, maybe I should encourage them to make each person one really useful or consumable item, putting quality over quantity.  They could work together to further reduce the excess and increase the meaningfulness.  I remember when I was their age and we 4 siblings worked together to make a light-up ceramic Christmas tree for our mom.  This was not a family tradition, but something we came up with ourselves.  Mom was truly surprised and pleased.  That said, we lived where we could all walk to the ceramic shop every day and accomplish this over time without our parents' help.  It would be hard for my kids to duplicate that....

Edited December 5, 2017 by SKL

[OrganicJen]

I was going to suggest making gifts, but then I remembered how hard it is to have to organize (i.e. mostly get rid of) the many many many handmade gifts our kids give us. My kids give me homemade stuff all year long (even now as 6th graders) and I can't possibly keep them all, let alone display or otherwise use them. Maybe if my kids did needlecraft or similar ....

 

Now that they are older, maybe I should encourage them to make each person one really useful or consumable item, putting quality over quantity. They could work together to further reduce the excess and increase the meaningfulness. I remember when I was their age and we 4 siblings worked together to make a light-up ceramic Christmas tree for our mom. This was not a family tradition, but something we came up with ourselves. Mom was truly surprised and pleased. That said, we lived where we could all walk to the ceramic shop every day and accomplish this over time without our parents' help. It would be hard for my kids to duplicate that....

For us making something consumable counts just as much as a card or picture. So my older son has made muffins for his little brother as his gift before. I've just taught them that the idea is do or make something that you think the other person will enjoy. So when my son was little he made toast for his dad because that's what he could cook on his own lol.

[Tanaqui]

But, I still really want my kids to experience the joy of shopping and spending money, and wrapping...

 

How about they experience the joy of making their own presents? There are lots of presents even small children can make - cookies in decorated paper bags, cocoa mix in jars, coupons for free hugs and doing each other's chores, cards... just keep them small and preferably consumable!

 

But if you have many children, even if you do this it's probably best to Secret Santa it.

 

 

Edited December 5, 2017 by Tanaqui

[Meadowlark]

Nope.  We might start in the future but it will not be this year.

 

I am the manager of ALL things gifts in this house.  The only exceptions mother's day, and if DH happens to think to get something for me for valentines day or our anniversary and then on my birthday.  If I am lucky, he remembers to take the kids shopping when Mother's Day comes. 

 

And as the manager of all things gifts......making sure each of my 3 younger kids gets something for each of their siblings, including DD21, who DOES choose, on her own to get a gift for each of the younger kids.....I simply cannot manage all that ALSO.  I have 6 nieces and nephews, my parents, DH's sister and her DH (and when they were with us, his parents, but they have both passed now.) Plus there's my grandparents (we were at 4, now down to 2) and then my grandfather's birthday is also in December, day after mine.  Oh, and the angle tree we do.   Not to mention, my kids birthdays are all September, October, November and December.  So I am managing a whole slew of gifts and celebrations from Labor Day through New Year's day. 

 

I just do not have it in me to manage another NINE gifts (which is what it would be to ensure that each kid gets for each sibling.)  Now that they are older we might start doing it next year, but man, the prospect is daunting to me. 

 

I totally hear you. That's how it is here too. So...the idea of buying MORE "stuff" doesn't exactly appeal to me. But...I DO want them to experience the joy of thinking about their siblings and giving.

 

The idea of making things makes me cringe a little too. Idk what I'm asking. I think as it is, I may institute some kind of secret santa thing and have all 8 of us exchange names. Then they can do nice things or leave small treats for that person. Maybe buy 1 bigger gift at the end. It's a whole other dimension when you have a bunch of kids!

[Julie Smith]

My boys give each other money, or things made out of pipe cleaners, duct tape, scrap fabric, toilet paper rolls. .... Coupons for computer time (You have to earn it here)...

[Megbo]

Our kids buy gifts for each other and for us. Dh's brother takes each child out individually to shop for the rest of the family, then back to his house to wrap the gifts before coming home. He started the tradition when Dss15 was 3 or 4, and will be taking Ds3 for the first time this week. My grandparents did the same thing with my siblings and me when we were kids, so it is important and special to me that they give gifts to each other and to us. 

 

Having twenty very cheap gifts would bother me to no end, so Dh gives the kids enough money to buy a good gift for each family member. We account for the gifts coming from siblings when doing our own shopping, so it all balances out. 

 

[Carrie12345]

My sisters and I grew up doing the whole dollar store type thing. (Though it was actually the time period between "five and dime" and "dollar store", lol.)  We did not continue that tradition with our kids.  It just wasn't something I wanted to add to the chaos.

 

Both of our co-ops this year have done small "Santa shops".  Maybe I'm a horrible grinch, but I've just let my kids go buy themselves their own little trinkets, lol.  They seem happy enough with that!

 

My oldest (19) does get little gifts for his siblings.  I think it's incredibly sweet, since he does have 7 siblings all together!

[Sneezyone]

I give each of my children a budget and help them select gifts and allocate their shopping money. They love gifting for each other and our family members.

[Rosie_0801]

I used to have dd do craft workshops locally to make presents for all her relatives. If I was going to pay, she was certainly going to put in time and effort.

 

Mum started me off decorating biscuits for all the relatives when I was 3. When we were bigger, it was school art works and whatever money we'd managed to acquire that year.

[Pink and Green Mom]

We started about 3 years ago (so it's never too late).  The kids buy for each other, and DH and I, a gift in the $10 range.  The oldest is a saver so he has money, the younger is a spender so he starts socking away a dollar or two here and there in August.  By way of example, they often get each other iTunes or Starbucks gift cards. Last year one got me a pair of aloe socks (that I specifically showed him) and the other a really nice bracelet (shocked when I opened it, I think a girl helped him pick it out, LOL).