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Anyone feeling Grinchy?


Alice
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Anyone else get really irritable this time of year? I have gotten so I really hate Christmas. I’m a Christian and I love the religious part....but not all the rest.

 

So many reasons ...gift-giving, family drama, all the added activities, the pressure to feel happy and cheerful. All the normal activities and work and school are still there and then all this other stuff is piled on.

 

I find myself basically just counting down until it’s all over. This isn’t really a JAWM thread. It’s ok if you like Christmas. More that I want to know I’m not the only Grinch out there.

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I wrestled with Christmas for many years after our emigration from our home country. I was frantically trying to  create the magical Christmasses of my childhood, only to fall short of my own expectations. I was terribly homesick, missed my extended family and home traditions that I could not recreate here.

A few years ago I decided to stop trying so hard and accept that it will never be like the Christmas I dreamed of. I asked the kids what was important to them, and we only did those few things and let go of all the elevated expectations. I feel much freer and more at peace with Christmas.

Edited by regentrude
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I had an awesome Christmas planned and was really looking forward to it. My kids are at such a fun age for Christmas stuff, and we were absolutely not going to travel or do family drama.

 

Now my grandma's dying. I feel strongly about going to her funeral, which means riding straight into the storm that is my family's drama. And every time I think, oh, it can't possibly be that bad. And every time I prove myself wrong and walk away weepy and shell-shocked. Even if I refuse to engage. Oh, and it's a 14 hour drive away.

 

So my in-laws, who happen to live in that area, might finally get their wish of having all their descendants under one roof for the holidays. I'm sitting here saying, "I will not be a grinch about it, I will not be a grinch about it, I will not be a grinch about it." I mean, I'm happy their dream will probably come true, that's really awesome for them, and when I'm a grandma I'm sure I'll have the same dream. But the personal cost to me is quite high, the highest of anyone who will be in that group, and frankly, I'll be treated as the lowliest of the group as well. Not on purpose. I'm just kind of...forgotten.

 

I will not be a  grinch about it. I will not be a grinch about it.

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I'm totally humbuggy this year :( It's just so much stress and every time dh and I attempt to scale things back with his family we get a huge push back. So once again we'll be buying stockings and gifts for all the nieces and nephews (we're talking about 15 yo to 20 somethings) and dh's siblings. It's expensive and stressful because they're so hard to buy for and I hate just buying gift cards. We host Christmas eve for my family so I have to plan a meal (some vegans, some dairy free, some only meat, etc.) Our house is dirty and there will be 8 staying over. And with two kids in hockey and work crazy busy for both dh and I there's no time to do anything. Calgon, take me away.

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I adore Christmas and was totally in a Christmas mood last month, where I did all my shopping and we put up the tree and started playing Christmas music a few days before Thanksgiving. But I've been sick for two weeks and it's really killing my holiday mood. I have all this stuff I need to do, and I feel totally exhausted by the thought of it all. I'm grinchy at the moment, but plan to shake myself out of it within the next few days I hope. This cold front that came in last night should help. I was in sandals yesterday for a quick run to the grocery store.

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I have that some years, then I bounce back the next year.  Right now I am not totally into the Christmas spirit, but I think it will be all right.  I am extra stressed because we are leaving the country on the 20th.  Going to try having our own Christmas the weekend before, and also somehow get all our year-end work done 11 days early.  Have to admit I have my crabby moments!

 

We're not doing the big tree this year.  We'll do presents around a mini tree that is already decorated.  We'll skip some other things also.  But we still have a few things every week that we can't / won't skip.  So, the challenge is not letting the stress eat up the spirit.

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I always feel grinchy (even have a Santa hat now that says Bah Humbug), but it's getting better as the kids get older. I cannot WAIT until they are old enough for the magic to go poof and disappear. I want to hand them their cash and video games in the morning and retreat to our various devices to spend a lazy holiday eating junk food, shooting zombies, and not having to assemble crap and dig up batteries.

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Not really grinchy, but not particularly in the mood for some reason. 

 

Same here, but I know the reasons as it's a combo of my mom's chemo and my own news (granted, that isn't as bad as my mom's stuff - it's just still in my mind adding to the more depressing feel as does the actual cold weather).

 

We're not decorating.  I might not get around to Christmas cards.  We are heading out today and getting Christmas shopping done and the actual time will be a little bit enjoyable as two of my three boys will be home for the week (well, not home, we'll be traveling between the grandparents visiting).  We will try to do a Christmas dinner for FIL.  We might get to enjoy New Year's Eve at home with the boys since they leave the 2nd.  Our schedule is up in the air at the moment pending northern winter weather and mom's chemo plans (will she agree to take that week off?).

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I am not feeling the Christmas spirit this year.  Normally I love the extra activities we do and gear down school expectations to accommodate them.  This year our extras are visiting a few of the places we really want to see before we move.  Dh has already moved. We will be visiting him for Christmas then returning to Ohio until our house sells.  I thought the house would be on the market by now.  Instead we have just received the go ahead to select an agent.  

 

Dh bought our children’s main gift.  It isn’t in line with what we’d normally give, but this is an unusual year.  I hope the boys like it, because they won’t be getting much else.  My order for one of the items dh requested was cancelled.  I tried a few other sites, the item appears to have been removed from the market.  So now I need at least one more gift for him that can be shipped direct, bought last minute, or fit in my carry-on.  He will probably be getting an I-tunes card. Nieces and nephews will be receiving cash this year.  I have a couple of adult gifts to buy.  Gift giving feels like a chore this year.

 

 

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I'm a total Grinch this year.  We've been to the Christkindlmarket and that's the extent of the Christmas stuff we have done. No, wait...dh and I bought a new fake tree and it sits in the box. 

 

Dh is a great guy. I have nothing to complain about. However, we live 1000 miles from our families and it's on me to get gifts, send cards, and generally organize all things Christmas.  Even for birthdays he just signs the card. I do everything else. So anyway last week I was saying that I just want the season to be done, that I am tired of being the one doing all the work at Christmas. And guys, he seriously asked me what work was I talking about. He's like, oh, you bake cookies, but what else can there be? 

 

He's great about helping around the house on weekends but he is clueless about how much effort it takes to pull off Christmas every year.  

 

Also, I miss my mom. And we live way too far from the grandchildren.  So Christmas just isn't my jam this year. 

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Yes! (ETA:) And I'm a Christian girl too!

 

We have a tree up (artificial, pre-lit hand me down) for the kids...who are away at college. DH and ds put it up the day after TG. I pretty much wrap as I go, and since no one is here to snoop, I put the wrapped gifts under the tree already. I never do that. 

 

Now for the music. It's not Christmas until I see a performance of Messiah. Done. Now I play Beyonce and Maroon 5 non-stop because I just can NOT get into the Christmas music mood. Now, this might be from having musicians as children and attending a ton of Christmas concerts. (The worst year was SEVEN concerts in December. Think about that. Seven concerts in 3 weeks, since there were none after Christmas, right? And that doesn't count rehearsals, which I never sit in on, but had to provide transportation to and from.)

 

So, "Say My Name" and "Wake Up Call" are keeping me sane now. 

Edited by Angie in VA
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A little grinchy. And DD expects me to buy a tree. She thinks the tiny one I bought last year is too small, and SIL kind of reinforced that point by buying a bigger one (they were staying with us). Hers was ugly, too, and she left it up until I finally said something in March.

 

I've hired a professional organizer to help me get a handle on my craft room, which has become a junk room. I wanted her help with DD's room, but can't afford it (she estimated 4-5 hours on my craft room, 30 on DD's room!).

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Just to be clear...I liked a lot of posts but I’m not liking that you are going through a rough time. Consider it a virtual hug instead of a like. Or a thanks for commiserating with me, rather than a “Yay, you are miserable too!†:) 

 

And for Arctic Mama and Lavender’s Green and others going through really rough stuff...that’s not what I would consider Grinchy. That’s real stress and grief and totally different. Big virtual hugs to you. 

 

For me, it’s that every year I know I get grumpy and vow that I won't be and then I find myself grumpy again. And it’s all for good stuff. Like family stuff that is annoying but involves people that love us. Or things like grandparents that buy too many gifts. Or just having too much fun stuff to do. So that’s why I would characterize myself as a grinch...I’m being negative about things that are good. 

 

I have a good friend whose husband also hates the season. We go out for coffee together semi-regularly but we joke in December that I should go out with her husband so we can be grumpy and cranky together and she should go out with my husband so they can commiserate about what it’s like to live with a Grinch. :) 

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Not feeling Grinchy but I have spent many years that way. Advent and Christmas are my favorite seasons. So I work hard leading up to this time to make sure it is not too much.

 

I get all Christmas shopping done before Advent starts. I do not do any activities that I don't thoroughly enjoy, like baking cookies or participating in gift exchanges with fil's side of the family.

 

During advent I generally spend my mornings in prayer and peace, while the evenings is when we celebrate Christmas with movies, hot chocolate, and wrapping.

 

Just remember it isn't even the christmas season religiously so you don't have to start treating as such. If you've never celebrated Advent I recommend it as a nice way to get away from the Grinch.

 

From one former Grinch to a current one.

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Ish. I'm feeling grinchy including "outsiders" in my celebration, but loving it for my dh and 3 kids! It just kind of takes away when you celebrate and then celebrate again, and again and again. Kwim? I have resented extended family obligations lately and after I realized I owe no one anything, I'm feeling great.

Edited by Elizabeth86
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I have always been a rabid Christmas lover.  When we got married, my DH was a Grinch.  He haaaated Christmas.  His family is picky and I think he felt too many years of present-rejection.  He haaaaaates trying to get gifts for his family.

 

Every now and then, over the past 25 years of marriage, we've rubbed off on each other.  There have been a few years that I felt Grinchy and a few years where he had the Christmas spirit.  The past 5 years or so have been the most peaceful in our house.  I have reigned in my rabid Christmas tendencies and he has controlled his Grinchy tendencies and it's been nice.

 

On my Grinchy years, I did the bare minimum that would be required for me, which is usually just getting presents for a few family members.  

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Yeah. Christmas was one of two holidays we celebrated as a kid. My family's totally gone to pieces (drama) over the past year or two, the news upsets the heck out of me (not going into more detail than that), and ... looking at Christmas decorations just makes me feel more and more like shouting "Humbug". 

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