Losing a dearly loved one -- first year roll call

[Halftime Hope]

I wasn't sure what to title this thread, so no flames, please.

 

In the spring of last year, I lost my dad, and when the holidays came around it was really rough. This year, I'm doing much better but still missing Dad and Mom.

 

If you've lost a loved one recently and would like to pay tribute to them, perhaps even share what made them so special to you, please feel free to add to this thread.

 

Wishing each poster all the best--may you be comforted and have memories that bring you peace and laughter.

 

Hope

 

ETA: please feel free to share, even if this isn't your very first year without a loved one.  Celebrating their lives is a joy!

 

Edited November 23, 2017 by Halftime Hope

[happi duck]

My sister died last December.

 

It's been really hard.

 

Thanks for starting this thread.

 

Many (hugs) all around

[Liz CA]

We will be celebrating Thanksgiving tomorrow at BIL's house except he is not there anymore - his wife and sons & daughters are. The holidays were his favorite time of year.

[Sandwalker]

Lost my mom in May. She's now with Dad.

Edited November 23, 2017 by Sandwalker

[Teresa in MO]

This is not the first year since by dh passed away in September 2016, but it is still very painful and we miss him very much, especially around the holidays.

 

[Melissa in Australia]

Hugs Teresa

[Melissa in Australia]

Hugs Teresa

[happypamama]

Hugs to all of you.

[TechWife]

This is our first Thanksgiving without my mom. She died on Dec. 4 last year, just seven weeks after my father died. I’ve been thinking about her so much. Thanksgiving was the last holiday we had with her and it was such a hard one without my dad there.

[Rachel]

Thinking of and praying for each of you and for the ones who will comment later.

[Guest]

Sending out love to all who are missing someone. May you be comforted by memories.

[Peaceseeker]

My step-dad died last October and the holidays sucked last year. So far it's not much better this year. Not sure when or if it gets better. I miss him so much. He never liked Thanksgiving food anyways though. He would just eat the sides and veggies as he hated turkey and ham.

 

What made him special? He made a friend everywhere he went and never knew a stranger. He was the kindest and most humble man I have ever met. He was one of the few Christians I saw walk it out every day and so now I know what that looks like. He was my rock for my whole life. He died quite suddenly and without much warning far too young. I miss him every day.

[East Coast Sue]

I'm missing my mom. She had an amazing ability to put on elaborate dinners and celebrations in a way I could never match. I feel her absence most especially on the holidays and my kids' birthdays. I wish I could have just one more chance to give her a hug and tell her how much I loved her.

 

Hugs to all who are missing loved ones.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[mlktwins]

 

I'm missing my mom. She had an amazing ability to put on elaborate dinners and celebrations in a way I could never match. I feel her absence most especially on the holidays and my kids' birthdays. I wish I could have just one more chance to give her a hug and tell her how much I loved her.

 

Hugs to all who are missing loved ones.

 

 

This could have been my post too. I lost my mom in 2001, but still miss her everyday.

[fraidycat]

:grouphug: to all of you.

[Minerva]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[mom31257]

We lost a very special family member in February of this year. My nephew, Seth, was almost 23. He was mentally about 4 due to developmental delays from severe epilepsy and mitochondrial disorder. He was a joy in so many ways and loved others completely. He wanted to give away what he had to make others smile. 

 

I helped care for him about one week a month since his dad had died a little over 2 years before, and he became more like a son to me then than just a nephew. I miss him and his sweet smile and laugh so much! 

 

 

[mom31257]

Hugs to all the others who are missing those they have lost!

[maize]

MiL passed away in September. I keep finding things around the house that remind me of her--cards she sent, gifts for the children, photos.

She was the most selfless, generous, positive, loving person I have ever met. I want to grow up to be like her.

Edited November 23, 2017 by maize

[JFSinIL]

Dad passed on the Fourth of July and today I remember how he'd get up at the crack of dawn to get the huge turkey going in the electric oven (we ate at noon). He was also in charge of desserts, since he was a better baker than Mom ;-). I dedicate today's pumpkin pie (I cooked down real pie pumpkins for the filling, Dad!) to him.

Edited November 23, 2017 by JFSinIL

[happi duck]

More (hugs)

[Annie G]

MIL passed in August from dementia and two kinds of cancer. We were never close, but also never had tension between us. But in her last 18 months she allowed me to care for her and we grew quite close. It's a shame it took decades to become close but I'm grateful that we did. 

 

Mom passed away five years ago but for some reason this week I had a dream about her and it upset me the whole day. I really miss her. 

 

Dh's lifelong best friend lost his wife earlier this year and dh is feeling pretty helpless while his friend copes with his loss. 

 

Thanks to all of you sharing stories. Makes me feel less alone amidst all the Facebook pics of huge family gatherings where everyone is #blessed.  I'm still very blessed even though we are hurting. 

[Selkie]

Hugs to all of you.

 

My brother died from alcoholism two years ago. He was 51 years old. I thought I was doing okay with it, but the other night I heard a Christmas song that reminds me of him and just broke down crying. I miss him and am sad about how his life turned out.

[J-rap]

Thinking of you all.  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[maize]

I think the pain of loss may dull over time but never dies, and can resurface full strength at unexpected times.

 

I called my 90 year old grandmother this week and she talked about losing her mother when she was 13. Her mother died when she was the age I am now.

[BigMamaBird]

I haven't lost anyone close, but I will be thinking of all of you today and praying that you can find some peace and comfort this holiday season.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

My dad died Halloween 2016, and my mother died August 2017.

 

This is my first holiday without both of them.

 

It was a complicated relationship but I miss them.

Edited November 23, 2017 by PinkyandtheBrains.

[Element]

Hugs to all of you. This is our fourth holiday season without MIL & FIL (passed away suddenly in their early 50's in Fall 2014) but really only the second one we've really processed. The first one was a bit of a blur/black hole. I don't even remember it. The second year, we were still keeping busy with Probate and I don't think we thought about holidays much. The third year (last year) was the first year dh was really grieving. It was... manageable. We really enjoyed each other as a family during the holidays and didn't worry too much about "getting it right." I think this is going to be the year he has moved forward. We're finding our holiday groove in a different way and making our own traditions. 

[GoVanGogh]

My FIL was diagnosed with terminal cancer on Thanksgving of last year. We moved him into my SIL's house at Christmas. He went on hospice on my birthday in January and passed away in February. Seems like he hit every holiday. It will be a hard season for us.

[mominco]

:grouphug: to everyone!

[MeaganS]

My dad died 3 weeks ago. He was fairly young (only 54) and died of colon cancer. I have nonspecific Thanksgiving memories of him, but Christmas will be harder.

[happi duck]

More (hugs)

 

I am keeping up with this thread and thinking of all of you.

[Halftime Hope]

My mom passed away in Feb of 2014, and much to our astonishment, my dad survived her by 2 years.  They were married 59 years and were joined at the hip, with Mom being the firebrand, the people person, and always the leader of the shenanigan du jour.   I have a 45 year-old photo of my older cousin as a young married woman--the shy cousin!--with she and Mom wearing inch-long, bright blue "falsie" eyelashes and curly wigs! How Mom ever talked J___ into wearing and posing in wigs, I'll never know!

 

My dad could be stubborn, but he was kind, gentle, and to the end of his days, he exemplified gratefulness.  After my mother passed away and dad began declining, my brother and SIL got in-home caregivers to come help when they could not be home.  Caregivers loved him because of his sincere appreciation of them and their kindness to him.

 

Today is a grand day to remember them and give thanks for the many things they did well in their lives.

Edited November 23, 2017 by Halftime Hope

[Halftime Hope]

Thank you to all who have posted.  I'm grateful that you've shared and for the outpouring of love.  I'm grateful for that encouragement when the world seems such a fractious place.

[MeaganS]

My sister's family has a tradition of buying an ugly tablecloth for Thanksgiving every year and having their guests write what they're thankful for on it. Here's what my dad said last year. He died on Oct. 28.

Edited November 23, 2017 by Meagan S

[Cindy in FL.]

My dad died in July, and he was the last of my family of origin. My mom died in 2008 and my only sibling in 1995.

Edited November 24, 2017 by Cindy in FL.

[RootAnn]

Thanks to the OP for starting this thread.

 

It has been several years since my father died, but I still miss him way too much. He was always in his element on Thanksgiving because he was the one who did turkey & all the fixin's. He'd make several types of stuffing (wet, dry, & StoveTop) and two types of gravy. He was a gentle giant. No kid was scared of him even though he was tall with a barrel chest because he just exuded calm.  There will never be another like him.

 

This year, my oldest brother died unexpectedly. My thoughts are with his five children who have to get through the rest of their lives with only the memories of him that they already have. No family gathering will ever be the same.

[Retired]

My dad died dec 31 2017, so this is the first holiday season.   My mom cried a few times today.   For me he is finally out of pain and in a better place.  We all deal with death differetnly

 

I hope all of you grieving  will find peace and some joy this holiday season

 

Blessings 

[nixpix5]

I lost my dad on his birthday in November of 2012 unexpectedly. It is still so hard to deal with this time of the year. He was such an amazing man and my best friend.

[Halftime Hope]

My dad died in July, and he was the last of my family of origin. My mom died in 2008 and my only sibling in 1995.

 

I'm sorry, Cindy.  That's really tough!!

 

[Halftime Hope]

Thanks to the OP for starting this thread.

 

It has been several years since my father died, but I still miss him way too much. He was always in his element on Thanksgiving because he was the one who did turkey & all the fixin's. He'd make several types of stuffing (wet, dry, & StoveTop) and two types of gravy. He was a gentle giant. No kid was scared of him even though he was tall with a barrel chest because he just exuded calm.  There will never be another like him.

 

This year, my oldest brother died unexpectedly. My thoughts are with his five children who have to get through the rest of their lives with only the memories of him that they already have. No family gathering will ever be the same.

 

Thank you for sharing them with us...prayers for your family!

 

[EMS83]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  to all.

[gaillardia]

So sorry to you all for your losses. My mom passed away in early December quite a few years ago. The pain of her absence is gone. 

 

I'm thinking of two individuals who have not posted who lost family members last year. Maybe it just hurts too much.

 

Our hearts go out to all who just can't post for whatever reason, but who have lost someone ever.  Please know that others haven't forgotten.

[Negin]

:grouphug:   :grouphug:   :grouphug:  to everyone. 

[littlebug42]

I am so sorry for everyone feeling loss at this time.   One of my cousin's three year old twins passed away last weekend.  My heart hurts so much I can barely face normal days much less the holidays.  He was just the sweetest little boy. 

[LinRTX]

My son died 6 months ago. He was 31. Yesterday was so hard, but Christmas will be even harder, as he could only come home for Christmas each year. It is so hard to celebrate anything right now, but my first grandbaby was born 3 weeks after he died (not his), my youngest is in her senior year and graduation is coming up as well as college, and my oldest daughter is getting engaged and wedding plans have begun.

 

He would have loved all this, he adored his sisters. He was the oldest and their caretaker. He even flew in for the youngest 16th birthday just to surprise. her. 

[DawnM]

My son died 6 months ago. He was 31. Yesterday was so hard, but Christmas will be even harder, as he could only come home for Christmas each year. It is so hard to celebrate anything right now, but my first grandbaby was born 3 weeks after he died (not his), my youngest is in her senior year and graduation is coming up as well as college, and my oldest daughter is getting engaged and wedding plans have begun.

 

He would have loved all this, he adored his sisters. He was the oldest and their caretaker. He even flew in for the youngest 16th birthday just to surprise. her. 

 

So sorry.  I can't imagine the pain.

[DawnM]

I thought I replied to this topic.  I think I started to but then got called in to help with Thanksgiving stuff.

 

My uncle died on Monday.  He was my favorite uncle and the closest to a 2nd father figure I could have.  I spent every holiday with them through college while my own parents were overseas.  His wife was my favorite aunt and we were close.  She died 3 years ago.  

[Lizzie in Ma]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[Angie in VA]

The Year of Firsts (as I call it) is really hard. 

 

I lost my mother on TG Day 15 years ago. Some years are harder than others. I got through last night fine, but today I've teared up a few times. 

 

:grouphug:  to all of us with holes in our hearts.