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I can't say it surprises me a ton (not being political, just practical), and I'm just wondering who is going to be next.

 

That said, I want to say I have worked with many many male bosses who never tried that kind of thing ever.  I don't like the way this is playing out as "see, everyone does it."

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I have to say I was a never a fan of him.  Shrug.  But still.  

 

How does this work exactly?  Is it only the famous and powerful that get called out now for bad behavior from years past?  It would be good if these men that are being made examples of would shake up society enough that men would stop treating women that way.  All men.  Not just the rich and powerful.  

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How does this work exactly?  Is it only the famous and powerful that get called out now for bad behavior from years past?  It would be good if these men that are being made examples of would shake up society enough that men would stop treating women that way.  All men.  Not just the rich and powerful.  

 

I think (or hope) it will trickle down. If women aren't afraid to call out the famous and powerful perhaps other women will finally not be afraid to call out the unknown boss or coworker in YourCity, USA. And from there hopefully things will change for good.

Edited by Lady Florida.
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I had a job for 12 years that I loved.  I traveled with men, I was at market for 10 days twice a year with a lot of co workers, men and women.  I had many many incidents happen to me.  I never reported a single incident to anyone other than my then husband.  I navigated.  I ignored.  I brushed off.  I made light of it.  I shrugged it off as 'we all know how he is.'  I also had numerous other professional relationships that never crossed a line. There are a lot of good men out there among the pigs.  And there are also good men who make poor decisions or have a momentary lapse in judgment that I would hate to see destroyed 25 years later.  

 

Sorry.  Just rambling.  I find it a very confusing thing that is going on right now.  The one thing I hope that comes out of this is that we convince victims to TELL NOW, not 25 years later.

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Yes, tell now.  I too have been in situations - thankfully not sexual harassment by a boss, but other things that I did not report.  I do understand why it's hard to report.  First of all there is self-blame - maybe I led him on.  Then there is concern for the innocent family members of the creep.  In a "powerful man" situation, I assume a third consideration is that you will be attacked by his many supporters in a ruthless manner.  Hopefully the present actions will help with the third and some of the first. 

 

Though honestly, I think it is more likely that this will quiet down, these folks will be back at it before long, and women will feel twice injured.

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I had a job for 12 years that I loved. I traveled with men, I was at market for 10 days twice a year with a lot of co workers, men and women. I had many many incidents happen to me. I never reported a single incident to anyone other than my then husband. I navigated. I ignored. I brushed off. I made light of it. I shrugged it off as 'we all know how he is.' I also had numerous other professional relationships that never crossed a line. There are a lot of good men out there among the pigs. And there are also good men who make poor decisions or have a momentary lapse in judgment that I would hate to see destroyed 25 years later.

 

Sorry. Just rambling. I find it a very confusing thing that is going on right now. The one thing I hope that comes out of this is that we convince victims to TELL NOW, not 25 years later.

Taking your pants off in front of a coworker is in no way a “momentary lapse of judgementâ€. It is the middle stepmin a long line of harassing behavior.

No one should have to navigate sexual harassment.

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Taking your pants off in front of a coworker is in no way a “momentary lapse of judgementâ€. It is the middle stepmin a long line of harassing behavior.

No one should have to navigate sexual harassment.

 

 

Right.  To be clear I never had THAT kind of thing happen.  

 

And that is the problem with all of this stuff coming out.  Masturbating in front of a co-worker does not equate to some of the other stuff we are hearing about.

 

But I agree no one should hav to navigate sexual harassment.  I shouldn't have.  But I won't be publically calling out things done to me 25 years ago.  

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I might be misunderstanding your comment, based on the type of comments you’ve leveled at me in the past.

 

But if I’m understanding your implication correctly, it’s not a political bias, I was commenting purely on the vibe they put out. I get the same one from others across the spectrum of public sphere. Would you like a list of names that just wouldn’t shock me if something came to light?

 

There are a few who would shock me - like Cosby did. If Mr Rogers came out post mortem as a pedophile I’d have been shocked. Mike Pence would shock me too, as would guys like Don Young. I’d actually be fairly surprised if, say, Obama was ever accused.

 

You can claim political bias, but that really doesn’t make it so. It’s not bias against Rose that made it not surprising to me - he genuinely set off my radar. Bannon does too, on multiple levels. Ick. And certain big name pastors with good reputations.

 

This is a depressing topic. But not as depressing as the non-apologies from a few of these people.

 

 

Right.  I have zero political bias and what does politics have to do with Charlie Rose?  But he did always unnerve me for some reason.  And as you say  Cosby was a total shocker.  So it isn't always good to trust our gut.  What I have decided is that no one is 100% trustworthy.  And yes it is depressing.

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I hope you are right, but I very much doubt it. Women lower down the totem pole have a set of pressures on them that the famous and powerful don't even need to think about. And tend to be taken less seriously than higher 'status' women.

I totally agree with this. I have had three jobs in my lifetime—working in a movie theater, as a scientist in a national lab, and a high school teacher. Let’s just say I had a much bigger voice when I was a scientist with a PhD working on a multimillion dollar research project than I do as a high school teacher. And as a teacher, a bigger voice than when I was working the concession stand.

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Cosby was shocking to people who knew him mainly as Cliff Huxtable and the Jello Pudding guy. His standup routines had some creepy/questionable stuff and he hung out with Hugh Hefner at the Playboy Frathouse. Sad, but not shocking.

 

Yeah, I remember hearing way back in the 90s about Cosby drugging and raping women. I think there was a story about it in one of the tabloids back then (National Enquirer, maybe?). So it's not like it was a big secret, it just took years and years for the mainstream media to print anything about it.

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DH and I were talking about this today and then the Wash Post had an article about it. John Oliver has had bits on Charlie Rose and his creepiness for a while now. 

 

 

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/arts-and-entertainment/wp/2017/11/21/john-olivers-clips-about-the-awkward-sex-talk-on-charlie-roses-cbs-show-are-extra-creepy-now/?tid=sm_tw&utm_term=.5d47437b33c5

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I can't say it surprises me a ton (not being political, just practical), and I'm just wondering who is going to be next.

 

That said, I want to say I have worked with many many male bosses who never tried that kind of thing ever.  I don't like the way this is playing out as "see, everyone does it."

 

:iagree: 

 

The vast, vast majority of male bosses I've had have been properly respectful.  The very few who have been inappropriate really stand out, though.  It's easier to remember the jerks, but that doesn't mean I have forgotten the decent men.  I think that we should be shocked at the jerks, precisely because they AREN'T the norm.  Everyone is NOT doing it. 

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Did y’all see where Jeremy Piven took lie detector tests in regards to his accusations? I thought it was an interesting response and I wonder if others may follow him in doing that. I admit I was surprised he passed.

 

I kinda go back and forth between being nervous about who else may make waves (oh lord, please not Tom Hanks, Denzel, etc) to thinking, “no way! Him??â€, to “hahaha, you got caught!†I’ve definitely run the gamut of emotions.

Lie detector tests are not particularly reliable.

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I had a job for 12 years that I loved. I traveled with men, I was at market for 10 days twice a year with a lot of co workers, men and women. I had many many incidents happen to me. I never reported a single incident to anyone other than my then husband. I navigated. I ignored. I brushed off. I made light of it. I shrugged it off as 'we all know how he is.' I also had numerous other professional relationships that never crossed a line. There are a lot of good men out there among the pigs. And there are also good men who make poor decisions or have a momentary lapse in judgment that I would hate to see destroyed 25 years later.

 

Sorry. Just rambling. I find it a very confusing thing that is going on right now. The one thing I hope that comes out of this is that we convince victims to TELL NOW, not 25 years later.

The problem with TELLING NOW is that the victims are often young women just starting their careers with little or no power or connections. I'm sure most wonder, and rightfully so, if they will even believed. And even if they are, will it ruin their chances at the career dreams they are pursuing.

 

There is a case right now going on in our state legislature. A male senator has been acting inappropriately towards women for many,many years, but only recently has a senior female Senator come forward as a public accuser. Several other much younger women who have been aids and interns through the years have now made reports and asked for anonymity, others have only told the senior Senator, and are not willing to file official complaints, because they still fear repercussions.

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The problem with TELLING NOW is that the victims are often young women just starting their careers with little or no power or connections. I'm sure most wonder, and rightfully so, if they will even believed. And even if they are, will it ruin their chances at the career dreams they are pursuing.

 

There is a case right now going on in our state legislature. A male senator has been acting inappropriately towards women for many,many years, but only recently has a senior female Senator come forward as a public accuser. Several other much younger women who have been aids and interns through the years have now made reports and asked for anonymity, others have only told the senior Senator, and are not willing to file official complaints, because they still fear repercussions.

I guess I am jaded enough that I would encourage a young woman to quit rather than expect certain men to really change.

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