Jump to content

Menu

Do you personally know a "millenial snowflake"?


Garga
 Share

Recommended Posts

A lot of people on my FB page will post articles about how millenials are all entitled cry babies who expect everything handed to them.

 

I don't believe those articles. But then again...maybe I just don't know everything and maybe they're right?

 

So...do you personally know a snowflake? Or is it always just some story you heard about snowflakes somewhere else? (Note, I hate the term snowflake, but I know a lot of people like to use it.) Millenials are people born in the early 80s to the late 90s or early 2000s, so they're roughly 15-35 years old.

 

I personally, do not know a snowflake. Am I the only person in America who doesn't personally know one of these "millenial snowflakes"? Or are there actually very few of them out there?

 

Note: I also recently read that when WWII started that lots and lots of young men in the US signed up for the military. And they were all a bunch of whiners. The military people had an influx of tens of thousands of young people who whined about the food and wouldn't obey the officers. They had to call in psychologists to figure out how to turn these snowflakes into fighting teams. So....I am very skeptical of articles that make it out to be that only young people nowadays are snowflakes. If the "greatest generation" were a bunch of whiners...then we're *all* a bunch of whiners.

Edited by Garga
  • Like 11
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, I know a few millennials.  I don't know that I'd call them snowflakes, necessarily, but they do overall seem to share some characteristics.  The main one that strikes me is aversion to being really alone/bored.  Not all, but it seems different than my generation.  Many also seem flakey, but I think that's more about age.  It's not a huge sample though.

 

I do have a lot of university people in my social circle, and they do seem to think the millennials are very anxious, inclined to depression, and upset by encountering views they disagree with.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm a millennial. ALL of my age mates that live near me are... Fine (for lack of a better word). They all have steady jobs, spouses, families, responsible citizens.

 

All my age mates from the city I grew up in, that I maintain contact with? Yup, snowflakes. I love them. But I did not understand, nor pretend to understand, their life choices.

 

For me, location matters. In my rural community, I think it is very hard to have that mentality (as an adult, kids however can have it... But they seem to grow out of it OR move to a city)

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I know at least one who has been very sheltered from "real life" and is now finally graduated from college and trying out life.  (She is 25.)  So she is now going through things that I would have experienced at a much younger age and chalked up to experience after "getting over myself."  I don't think she's that much different from me other than the delay.  She probably won't be a "snowflake" for long as she deals with the school of hard knocks for a while.  :)

 

I have seen entitled though.  Like teen boys coming to my door fundraising so they can participate in this or that.  I should want to give them money so they have something productive to do.  At their age I had had a number of jobs and kept busy by attending college among other things.  No young people ever come by asking if they can do some work for me.  It's always what I can do for them.  And I've heard "I deserve it" in contexts where it doesn't make sense at all.

 

But mostly, I don't think young people are the disaster some people make them out to be.  They are silly about things they haven't experienced yet, but so are younger and older people.  They'll learn.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

No. Categorization of generations bothers me anyhow. I do know people who have been quite cushioned by their parents. Those cushioned young people do seem to suffer a bit when they begin independant life. I also do see a lot of parents who go to great lengths to sweep away every obstacle their child might have. But so far, their kids seem to work out their issues in early adulthood. My nine young adult nieces and nephews are all millenials and none are snowflakey. Those who are married have non-snowflaky mates. There is one nephew who is sort of an aimless space cadet, but it doesn’t equate to snowflake behaviot; he’s just a dreamer kind of airy-fairy guy.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, there definitely seems to be a lot more entitlement attitude issues among my youngest brother (born ‘85) and brother-in-law’s (born ‘87) Millennial peers than among those slightly older like my middle brother (born ‘81), sister-in-law’s (born ‘79), and the Gen Xers like DH and me.

 

The idea that simply graduating from college should result in someone handing a person a cushy job right off the bat rather than starting at the bottom and working one’s way up.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was under the impression that the term snowflake was specifically referring to the cohort of young people who think that words are violence, need "safe spaces" away from ideas that challenge them or are outside their ideological bubble, and feel that things like exams shouldn't exist because they're stressful. My husband's workplace installed a relaxation area with fake grass and lawn chairs to appease some new hires with these ideas (and they ended up taking it out recently because the only people that used it, all under 30 incidentally, were also not getting their work done.

 

Not all millenials are in that group, and not all "snowflakes" are millenials. All of the factors shaping the millennial generation (like smart phones and social media) are changing all of us, but I think it can be useful to see the differences in values, attitudes, and beliefs between people of different generations when the data compares them at the same age. For example, there are fewer teen pregnancies now than when my generation was that age but suicides are higher. Depression and anxiety are higher and kids are becoming independent later. Trends like that don't describe individuals, but are still useful. And of course some of the differences in generations will be positive, but it's only the negative or concerning things that warrant headlines.

  • Like 9
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My kids are about to turn 20 and 22 so they're on the young end, but yes, we do know 1 snowflake in that age range.  Her mother has always been extremely child-centered.  I knew her mother from the time our kids were toddlers. When the daughter was 7 she and her mother were in a car accident where the other driver was at fault.  The mother had a brain injury causing her to have to quit her teaching job and becoming a tutor because she can't multi-task anymore.  The daughter was fine.  The insurance paid out handsomely. 

That daughter, very academically gifted,  was homeschooled from middle school and ended up at an Ivy League college which her mother is paying for 100%. The mother has always been indulgent, but is extremely so because she has the funds.  Those funds were meant to support the mother long term, but she can't seem to say no.  The daughter's group of friends have all noticed that the daughter isn't going through young adult changes at the rate the rest of them are. Several commented basically the same way-there's been little emotional growth since the high school years and all have noticed a distinct entitlement attitude in the daughter. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The idea that simply graduating from college should result in someone handing a person a cushy job right off the bat rather than starting at the bottom and working one’s way up.

 

They'd like a chance to start at the bottom and work their way up! Instead, they graduate from college and are shunted into retail, temp work, and unpaid internships - all that with a huge load of debt as well, and more expenses than their parents and grandparents. It's not "entitlement" to think you ought to be given a chance to succeed in the same way previous generations were.

  • Like 22
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't like calling people snowflakes or even entitled because I think both are used as derogatory terms without a full understanding of the actual person they're complaining about. I do know people from different generations who have a hard time accepting responsibility for their actions. I also know some people from different generations who have a hard time living in the real world. 

 

 

 

I meet a lot of young people and for the most part I find them enormously impressive.  They truly give me hope for the future.  

 

That's how I feel. I have a milennial and if he and his friends are any indication of what the future will be like when they're in charge, I feel good about that future.

 

The older generation never gets tired of complaining about the younger. By the time the younger generation becomes the older one, they forget how annoying that pastime was.

 

 

My milennial (20yo) actually complained about "kids today".  :lol:  :lol:

  • Like 11
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, there definitely seems to be a lot more entitlement attitude issues among my youngest brother (born ‘85) and brother-in-law’s (born ‘87) Millennial peers than among those slightly older like my middle brother (born ‘81), sister-in-law’s (born ‘79), and the Gen Xers like DH and me.

 

The idea that simply graduating from college should result in someone handing a person a cushy job right off the bat rather than starting at the bottom and working one’s way up.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

You didn't watch the video :)

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My kids are about to turn 20 and 22 so they're on the young end, but yes, we do know 1 snowflake in that age range.  Her mother has always been extremely child-centered.  I knew her mother from the time our kids were toddlers. When the daughter was 7 she and her mother were in a car accident where the other driver was at fault.  The mother had a brain injury causing her to have to quit her teaching job and becoming a tutor because she can't multi-task anymore.  The daughter was fine.  The insurance paid out handsomely. 

 

That daughter, very academically gifted,  was homeschooled from middle school and ended up at an Ivy League college which her mother is paying for 100%. The mother has always been indulgent, but is extremely so because she has the funds.  Those funds were meant to support the mother long term, but she can't seem to say no.  The daughter's group of friends have all noticed that the daughter isn't going through young adult changes at the rate the rest of them are. Several commented basically the same way-there's been little emotional growth since the high school years and all have noticed a distinct entitlement attitude in the daughter. 

 

I don't know this girl and you do, so I'm not really talking directly about her, but if the idea is that paying full-ride for an Ivy League education for an academically gifted kid is an indulgent waste of money (money that should have been saved for retirement), I disagree.  If the major is women's studies from podunk state, okay.  If it's a useful degree from an Ivy, the investment is probably worth it monetarily, honestly, and the daughter will have more $ to support the mother in old age (at least that is how it should work, imo).

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am related to 2 of them. They are in their 20's and live with their parents because salaries are too less to be worth spending 8-10 hours a day plus commute on a real job, in their opinion. Their plan is to study for a master's degree instead of getting a job, but, they did not get into the top tier colleges of their choice (these snowflakes believe that they are so special that the Ivies will come knocking, but, they have not, for 3 years). Mom and dad are loaded and send them on vacations with their employed friends to exotic places so that their snowflakes can have a social life. Parents also foot their shopping bills and pay for their cars and fuel. Once, the female snowflake went to a 2 week test prep camp in Chicago and was too lazy to eat out for dinner, so the mother cooked a lot of food and mailed it by next day UPS from the opposite coast. They will have a rude awakening, a little later in their lives because the parents are rich and protect them from consequences.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I know quite a few but also some really great ones too. Overall, as a cohort though, I do see less grit and perseverance. My sons, who are millenials themselves but have a Gen x attitude, complain constantly about their millenial subordinates at work. It wasn't something they saw until they had to supervise them and manage them on a team. They gripe about it alot. They both much prefer their Gen X and Boomer team members in general. Their complaints have been not working very hard, not showing up for shifts, not calling in, showing up late, not wanting to do certain aspects of their job, crying at work when things don't go their way or if they receive constructive feedback, quitting without notice often times after getting constructive feedback, and so forth. However, they have both said when they do find a golden millenial in their recruits that person is hands down the best with innovation, creativity, willingness to learn new things and so forth.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, I’m a Millenial as are most of my friends and I wouldn’t say I know any snowflakes. I do know most of our Boomer parents don’t understand us and think we are whiney. Just had a convo with mine about how my generation thinks it’s entitled to healthcare. Well, if that makes us snowflakes I guess we are. But our Boomer parents don’t see how jobs and cost of living have changed. They just see us as entitled when we are upset that a college education and a 40 hour job doesn’t always land you a house and stable life anymore. That’s my experience anyway.

Edited by Btervet
  • Like 7
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, I’m a Millenial as are most of my friends and I wouldn’t say I know any snowflakes. I do know most of our Boomer parents don’t understand us and think we are whiney. Just had a convo with mine about how my generation thinks it’s entitled to healthcare. Well, if that makes us snowflakes I guess we are. But our Boomer parents don’t see how jobs and cost of living have changed. They just see us as entitled when we are upset that a college education and a 40 hour job doesn’t always land you a house and stable life anymore. That’s my experience anyway.

A college education and a 40 hour job has never been a 100% guarantee of a house and a stable life. And there is the rub- the idea that people are guaranteed certain things.

 

(None of the Millenials I know well feel like they are guaranteed certain outcomes. But they work hard anyway. )

  • Like 7
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I personally don't, no. And I assume the millenials, as individuals, run the gamut from saint to sinner and everything in between. 

 

I DO think there is a very different (and toxic) culture on campus, particularly in urban, liberal areas, that takes a po-mo attitude to almost everything (and honestly, po-mo was a Gen X thing, but we kept it confined to literature, lol). It mainifests in no-platforming, and a desire to strongly censor ideas and speech. 

 

I assume that the culture represents merely a subset of students - unfortunately, it's a loud subset. 

 

As a Gen X student, I would not have dreamed of no-platforming. Protesting ? Sure. But acutally shutting down people's voices in the academy ? No way. 

 

I wouldn't use 'snowflake' to describe that subset. I'd say they are immature people holding some quite dangerous ideas. 

 

 

I don't think this is confined to students on campus, though - many professors seem to have the same inclinations.

 

One of the most influential sites on the internet in terms of ideas, memes, the zeitgeist, is 4chan; what do you think got Donald Trump elected here in the US?  And that site is defined by free speech - not just incidentally but foundationally (in a way that other sites, like reddit, are not).  

 

So I guess there are competing tendencies in Millennials.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oooh yeah I know a few. I'm right on the upper crust of millennial. When I was a young adult, I had to teach some friends how to make mashed potatoes. They lived on 2 min noodles when the parents were away. One didn't want to work full time, so his newly post-partum wife had to go back to work sooner than planned (and no, he didn't cook/clean)

There's a few in my in laws family, that's a cultural thing that has good aspects about it, but when adults are earning as much as their parents, pay no rent and the parents buy a house for them, but they can't afford to move out - yeah I roll my eyes.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It seems to me, from reading all of these answers, that it is mainly the parents fault that these millennials feel entitled? If the parents are paying their way, enabling their behavior and immaturity to continue? Or am I wrong? Note: I said "mainly", and I'm not stating this as a fact - just an observation/question. All of the examples have the parents as the enabler.

 

I'm a millennial, and I am not a snowflake. I have never felt entitled. Nothing has ever been given to me. My parents weren't poor, but they had no extra money. My husband and I made very little money when we first married. We barely scraped by, but we were happy. Now that he has a wonderful paying job, we are still happy.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, there definitely seems to be a lot more entitlement attitude issues among my youngest brother (born ‘85) and brother-in-law’s (born ‘87) Millennial peers than among those slightly older like my middle brother (born ‘81), sister-in-law’s (born ‘79), and the Gen Xers like DH and me.

 

The idea that simply graduating from college should result in someone handing a person a cushy job right off the bat rather than starting at the bottom and working one’s way up.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

You can't blame us for thinking that a college degree and six figures of debt should land us a job that will pay for at least basic housing and food, given that it's what we've all been told our entire lives. Everything for Millennials has been about getting into college in order to get a good job. We were told from preschool that with a bachelor's degree, the world would be our oyster. With a college education, you can do anything! Then the financial collapse happened, everything went to hell in a handbasket, and now we have Ivy-educated lawyers working as barristas. I don't think it means that a person has "entitlement attitude issues" for them to be upset to find out that everything they've been promised, everything they worked for, and everything previous generations had is essentially gone.

  • Like 14
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Aside from my own children, I have fairly close contact with a lot of millennials and I have been amazed by their passion and resilience.   As I look at the challenges they are facing, I have realized how much steeper a path they have to climb than I did at similar ages... and how much harder they are working.  (Not that my husband or I were slackers, but we didn't have to push so hard just to meet our survival needs.)

 

They are often more outspoken than my generation tended to be, and not just for themselves, and I value that enormously.

 

I have encountered a lot of fragile, entitled middle-aged folks who are afraid of losing the world they know and are kicking down at those trying to climb up to some measure of stability... but I have yet to see the stereotype you're describing.

 

ETA: just to be clear, my millennial children are also resilient & hard working!

:iagree: I think they are more demanding of what is right and fair (whether it truly is or not is beside the point).  So previous generations who kept their heads down and their mouths shut see the demand to be treated fairly and with respect as being a "snowflake".  What drives me (a young Gen X) crazy is the previous generations spouting off about how they did it on their own, bought the American dream.... yeah and then the price went up but they expect my children's generation to buckle down and work for peanuts... so no, I don't know any snowflakes, I do know some kids who look at the future and can't see how they fit or how they'll achieve all the things that are required from them so they give up early in life and just check out.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

And why did the price go up?  Because the Boomers agreed with themselves to pay themselves more (and to spend more of the nation's money - except the money isn't there, because they didn't agree to pay more taxes to fund the spending.  So actually they agreed for future generations (ahem, us, the Millenials, to start) to spend more money on things they wanted 10, 20, 30 years ago).

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I haven't read the whole thread.

 

I don't really know what age range constitutes millenials. I don't care.

 

I've found there's a lot of ignorance about what age range constitutes the boomers. Too many people think boomers are all retired folks now, living the good life. They're clueless that the younger boomers are still in the trenches, raising kids or trying to help them with college expenses, taking care of elderly parents (and sometimes their grandkids, too!) and were hurt more--because they're much closer to retirement--by the last economic crisis than younger people.

 

I do not like stereotyping or generalizing about huge numbers of people. It's rarely/never accurate on the whole. That said, cultural norms do change over time. On the whole they're usually not good or bad. Just different.

Edited by Pawz4me
  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, I’m a Millenial as are most of my friends and I wouldn’t say I know any snowflakes. I do know most of our Boomer parents don’t understand us and think we are whiney. Just had a convo with mine about how my generation thinks it’s entitled to healthcare. Well, if that makes us snowflakes I guess we are. But our Boomer parents don’t see how jobs and cost of living have changed. They just see us as entitled when we are upset that a college education and a 40 hour job doesn’t always land you a house and stable life anymore. That’s my experience anyway.

 

"Anymore"?

 

It never has. Ever.

  • Like 8
Link to comment
Share on other sites

No, I don't know any snowflakes. I do know people who are making different life choices from my generation. Which is more of a generation gap than snowflake status. Snowflake is the current term to describe young people in a derogatory way so the older generation does not have to examine themselves.

It is so much easier to criticize the current crop of young people as not being responsible, in need of safe spaces so there feelings don't get hurt, etc., then to look at your own life choices and maybe admit that you didn't make the right ones or think you wish you were brave enough to follow your bliss and travel the world instead of marrying and settling down to your 40+ work week. Our kids looked at our choices and wanted something else for themselves. Just like we made different choices than our parents. Thanks to technology they have different opportunities to make different choices and that is terrifying to those of us who cling to our old ways.

The people I know who qualify as millennials work hard, don't feel like life owes them something,are accepting of different cultures, genders, and sexual orientation. What I have noticed with the youth that I know is that they don't seem to have any interest in getting married and having children. They want to travel, they want to experience the world. They want to pay off their student loans before they settle down. Quite a few have told me the world is too messed up to bring children into it and they won't do that. But they do want to be in a meaningful relationship. Or at least have a fun date to do things together.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Too many people think boomers are all retired folks now, living the good life. They're clueless that the younger boomers are still in the trenches, raising kids or trying to help them with college expenses, taking care of elderly parents (and sometimes their grandkids, too!) and were hurt more--because they're much closer to retirement--by the last economic crisis than younger people.

 

This is definitely true.  My mom is working, after several lay-offs and taking pay cuts with each new job.  My step-father is partially retired, mostly due to health issues.  While their own kids are all mid-30s to over 40, my mom's co-parenting a grandchild while POAing a parent with dementia.  They've lucked out with some small pensions that are still waiting for them, but they lost a lot of retirement savings when everything went nuts.

 

My husband and I have other struggles that are strongly tied to health care and a regionally dead real estate market, trying to secure our future retirement, with a kid in college, two on his heels, two behind those, and four parents in or nearing their 70s.  (One pair with zero savings, two individuals in poor health, and no stable siblings for us to look to.)  I've literally ruined my day by writing that out!

 

My youngest sister has her own troubles revolving around health care, student loans, and a masters degree that can't cover daycare.

 

It's tradition for each generation to criticize the others.  Every one has thought the next was going to hell in a handbasket.

  • Like 7
Link to comment
Share on other sites

First, lumping the 15-35 year olds into one category strikes me as not very useful.

 

As a university professor who teaches over one thousand students per year, I encounter quite a few "snowflakes". But not enough to draw conclusions about an entire generation. Most of my students are hardworking and driven.

In every generation you have entitled whiners. Holden Caufield, anybody?

 

ETA: One thing, however, is backed by data: young people seem to be more prone to depression than in the past. The percentage of college students who admit to suicidal thoughts is much higher than it used to be, as my counselor colleagues tell me with concern. This is likely a combination of high perceived pressure and possibly less resilience because difficulties have been kept away from these kids, but nobody has clear answers. It's also not exactly what the op asked about.

Edited by regentrude
  • Like 15
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oooh yeah I know a few. I'm right on the upper crust of millennial. When I was a young adult, I had to teach some friends how to make mashed potatoes. They lived on 2 min noodles when the parents were away. One didn't want to work full time, so his newly post-partum wife had to go back to work sooner than planned (and no, he didn't cook/clean)

There's a few in my in laws family, that's a cultural thing that has good aspects about it, but when adults are earning as much as their parents, pay no rent and the parents buy a house for them, but they can't afford to move out - yeah I roll my eyes.

The bolded, though, is far from a millenial attitude. It was practically standard for most men of my father’s generation, who posited that they had no obligation to do any “women’s workâ€.

  • Like 8
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The bolded, though, is far from a millenial attitude. It was practically standard for most men of my father’s generation, who posited that they had no obligation to do any “women’s workâ€.

 

Yep

 

My dad wouldn't lift a finger. The only improvement from his father is at least he didn't say stuff like "that's women's work" like my grandfather did. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...