Do we have too many outside activities this term?

[IsabelC]

Here is our list of regular commitments, I am interested in what others think, would you judge it to be 'too much'? Or is it fine, as long as the kids enjoy it?

 

 

 

Monday

Ms 12 Girl Guides (4 hrs - she is in two groups)

 

Tuesday

Ms 12 swim training sessions morning and evening

Ms 9 violin lesson, circus class, and swimming lesson

Mr 14 theatre company rehearsal

 

Wednesday

Ms 12 art lesson, vocal lesson (fortnightly, alternate weeks)

Ms 9 Girl Guides

Mr 14 & Ms 12 concert band

 

Thursday

Ms 12 swim training sessions morning and evening

Mr 14 drama class and theatre company rehearsal

Ms 9 riding lesson (fortnightly)

 

Friday

Home ed group (fortnightly, all kids)

Ms 12 swim training

Ms 9 swimming lesson

 

Saturday

Mr 14 trombone lesson (fortnightly)

Ms 12 swim training, riding lesson (fortnightly)

Ms 9 orchestra, drama class

Edited November 8, 2017 by IsabelC

[Alice]

I said other. It’s a lot but I think it’s only too much if you or the kids are feeling the stress and not happy with it. All three of my kids have different tolerance levels for scheduled activities. One needs a lot. I think in order to homeschool her I will need to have her in a lot of stuff as she gets older....she needs the social aspect. One hates anything formal and does very very little in the way of scheduled activities. And the third is kind of in the middle. If your kids all like being really busy and doing a lot and it suits you and your family and your getting schoolwork done...it’s not too much. 

[HomeAgain]

As long as the family doesn't have a problem with it, I think it's fine.  My 7yo's outside schedule goes like this:

Monday - language class & skate practice

Tuesday - p.e.

Wednesday - music lesson

Thursday - skate practice

Friday - clubs (they rotate monthly)

Saturday - skate lesson

 

Two are semester long items, one is a 6 week, 2 are drop-ins (no attendance requirement), and the last is something that is a constant in his life.  If it ever feels too much I have things we can drop one by one until we're fine.

[Ausmumof3]

It would be too much for us for sure. How badly too much would depend on whether some of the activities were in the same location or close by.

[Loesje22000]

DD schedule, 14 yo, with less social need looks like:

 

Wednesday evening: choir (2,5 hours)

Friday evening: Folk dance (1,5 hour)

Saturday morning: Art classes (3,5 hour)

Saterday afternoon: catechism (1 hour)

Sunday: Church (2 hour)

[SevenDaisies]

The fact that you are asking suggests you think you may have too many. Regular swim lessons and instruments wouldn’t bother me. The one thing that stands out to me is that your 9 YO has 7 different activities. If it works for you, it’s not a problem. My kids each have a primary activitly that practices multiple times per week plus piano so we have something nearly every day, but I personally cannot imagine keeping up with all those different activities.

[Woodland Mist Academy]

It might be helpful to have times (including travel times), but it really depends on the individual personalities involved, as well as course loads and other commitments at home.

[SKL]

If your kids are getting enough sleep, have a nice chunk of free time at least a couple times a week, keep up with school work, and enjoy friendships, then this is not too much for them.  It might be too much for you to do all that running around, but maybe not.  I enjoy the running around and would gladly do more of it if it weren't for my pesky job and my kids' need to sleep.

 

One thing I would find challenging is making time for all of the kids to practice all those instruments between lessons.  I assume you have that figured out.

 

I think that ideally, kids do at least one physical activity plus some artistic activity most days.

[almondbutterandjelly]

It would be too much for my family, but only you can decide if it's too much for you.  Currently, I have a 17yo dd.  Our activities look like this:

Wed:  My dd teaches 3rd graders for 2 hrs (church program)

Sun:  Sunday School 1 hr, Puppet Practice 2.5 hours, occasional youth group 1-2 hr

 

But, that said, my dd does do stuff with my dh in the evenings.  He is her Chemistry teacher and Drivers Ed teacher plus they play tennis at least once a week and go to the gym at least once a week to treadmill.

 

Saturdays usually something with her bff.  

 

But we are homebodies and introverts.

[Arcadia]

It’s not too much for each kid, I loved a packed schedule as a kid and even now.

 

It might be too much for the kids if they have to tag along to their siblings activities. I was using public transport since I was six and most activities were walkable from home so sibling and parents stayed home. My kids tag along to each other’s activities and bring homework as public transport is not viable in terms of travel time. My younger boy gets sulky sometimes doing homework while sitting in the nice sofa at the air conditioned waiting area. He rather stay home and play on his iPad sprawled on his bed.

 

It could be too much chauffeuring for you. It would be for me since public transport while efficient would make a 30 min drive into a 2hr two transfers train and buses ride.

Edited November 8, 2017 by Arcadia

[Woodland Mist Academy]

Travel time really makes a difference! Someone with a five minute walk or ten minute bike ride would be able to do more than someone with a one hour drive or two hour bus ride. We spend more time traveling than at the activity sometimes.

Edited November 8, 2017 by Woodland Mist Academy

[Critterfixer]

That would probably kill me.  :laugh:

[GeoKitty]

I think that if you are asking if it is too much, then it probably is. Over the years we have readjusted our schedules when we felt it was too much. That being said our schedule is pretty crazy too! This is my DD12s schedule.

 

Monday - biweekly book club 1.5 hours. 4 hours Gymnastics.

Tuesday- mythology 1 hour. 4 hours Gymnastics

Wednesday- 1-2 times monthly science class 1.5-2 hours. 4 hours Gymnastics

Thursday- 3 hours co-op, 4 hours Gymnastics. 2 hours Faith Formation

Friday- 4 hours Gymnastics.

 

Add to that my son music rehearsal/ lessons four times a week, performs at assisted living facilities, has youth group and he also does co-op and mythology with DD. And now he has JV basketball practice and games daily in the evenings (he plays for a local private school).

[Critterfixer]

My outside schedule is Art on Tuesday and Thursday, and the Tuesday thing is short term. :leaving:

[8filltheheart]

I agree with Critterfixer; that would just about kill me. I could not maintain that pace. It is also contrary to what my personal goals are for my kids--less structure during their days and more time required for self-entertainment. I think boredom is a good thing to experience and overcome on their own with their imagination and self-initiative. I have always limited my kids activities. Too many of them. Even 1 per child could get overwhelming if no overlap.

 

That said, you are you and your family should do what meets your family's needs.

[Woodland Mist Academy]

I don't think asking if it's too much necessarily means it is. Many things could prompt us to ask that question. A comment from someone else, reading of someone else's schedule that is very different from ours, trying to find the root of a problem (which may not, in the end, be schedule related at all)...

 

There are people who ask the opposite: Am I doing enough? That doesn't automatically mean they aren't. Sometimes they are actually doing too much! Asking a question doesn't necessarily mean the answer is obvious.

 

It's also important to clarify "too much".  Too much time away from home? Too much money? Too much time not doing schoolwork? Too much structure? Too much social activity?

[8filltheheart]

Fwiw, I didn't vote bc it isn't a question that I can answer for another family. The answer for me would be yes (many times over), but only you can answer for you.

[Woodland Mist Academy]

I find threads like this incredibly valuable. It's important to realize that all our lives look very different, so caution is advised with comparisons. One student may have 9 or 10 credits with 1 outside activity. Another student may have fewer credits with a variety of activities. Problems can arise when the former feels they should increase activities because the other student has more. Or the latter feels they should increase credits without understanding the full picture of the the first student's life. Context matters.

 

(The above is obviously more of a high school scenario. In lower grades it's more often the parent doing the comparing. Nevertheless, I always find threads like this helpful for perspective.)

Edited November 8, 2017 by Woodland Mist Academy

[Critterfixer]

I think I would look at whether the day is feeling too crowded, if people are getting stressed trying to get ready to go, if they are tired and crabby when they get home, or if one sick kid throws the entire day into chaos.

If you've got the flexibility you need in your day, if everyone is cheerful (most of the time--everybody can have a bad day now and again), if school is getting done without straining, and if you don't feel your own time to get your work done is being threatened, it's probably just fine.

[Ellie]

It would be much too much for me, although I might be able to pull it off if those activities were in the late afternoon (i.e., after 3 p.m.) or early evening. Otherwise, oh my goodness no.

[lllll]

nm

Edited November 15, 2017 by _______

[Woodland Mist Academy]

Regarding boredom...  Although I agree with downtime, time to contemplate, be alone with one's thoughts etc. There is also value in pursuits that can't be done in the sphere of one's home. Is it just a matter of location? If the child was able to go into the backyard and do the activity, would that be acceptable? Is it just the inconvenience? Sometimes a hobby or passion is found at home -- sometimes it's found elsewhere. Coping with boredom often means finding a productive way to spend one's time. Not all productive ways to spend one's time are found at home. 

 

What do you say when a child says they want to take up a sport or hobby that requires them to be out of the home? Do you dismiss it as an *activity* and tell them they need to stay home and learn to overcome boredom? Isn't that what they're doing? Many *activities* require dedication, hard work, imagination, cooperation, etc. It's important to look at what the activity gives, as well has what it costs. A random time filler is far different from an activity that fulfills many important aspects of life.

 

Looking at OP's list, I'm seeing swimming (double points for exercise and safety), music lessons/practice/perfomance, riding (exercise and so much more), and fine arts. All of these offer myriad benefits.

 

Staying home doesn't always equal a wise use or best use of time.

Edited November 8, 2017 by Woodland Mist Academy

[8filltheheart]

Regarding boredom... Although I agree with downtime, time to contemplate, be alone with one's thoughts etc. There is also value in pursuits that can't be done in the sphere of one's home. Is it just a matter of location? If the child was able to go into the backyard and do the activity, would that be acceptable? Is it just the inconvenience? Sometimes a hobby or passion is found at home -- sometimes it's found elsewhere. Coping with boredom often means finding a productive way to spend one's time. Not all productive ways to spend one's time are found at home.

 

What do you say when a child says they want to take up a sport or hobby that requires them to be out of the home? Do you dismiss it as an *activity* and tell them they need to stay home and learn to overcome boredom? Isn't that what they're doing? Many *activities* require dedication, hard work, imagination, cooperation, etc. It's important to look at what the activity gives, as well has what it costs. A random time filler is far different from an activity that fulfills many important aspects of life.

 

 

Staying home doesn't always equal a wise use or best use of time.

I think there is a difference if the conversation is with a 9 yr old or a 16 yr old. It also matters just what activities they are already involved in. No, I would not have my 9 yr old involved in 7 different activities simultaneously. 2, probably. Different ones spread out over different times? (Like swimming lessons in the summer and drama in the fall, etc) Sure. If my 16 yr old wants to be involved in numerous outside of the home activities and it isn't impacting their academics, they can go for it.

 

Developmentally, I see a huge difference. My older kids have mastered self-entertainment. They have moved on to making decisions about their own futures. Also, my involvement is significantly different. I am not willing to have my kids' activities impact our homeschool or our family life. We have different priorities. I could never be the parent of a competitive athlete. My personality is just not there.

 

Doesn't mean that that lifestyle isn't fine for other families. Just not ours.

Edited November 8, 2017 by 8FillTheHeart

[Woodland Mist Academy]

Ah, that may be the difference. We view many of the activities as family life and part of our homeschool --not as something separate.  Perspective matters!

[Hobbes]

I said yes - that schedule would quickly reduce me and a few of my kids to a little puddle on the floor. But you are not me. ☺ï¸

 

I know others will can handle a lot more, but I'd say this is on the hefty end of what I've seen. We aim for minimal extracurricular activities, because family evening time is a big priority for us.

 

We do:

 

Mon - piano (teacher comes here ðŸ˜)

 

Tues - afternoon and evening are spent at grandma and grandpa's house - mama does errands and then we have date night

 

Weds - Morning is out at a combo women's Bible study/homeschool class

 

Sunday - church all morning

 

Some semesters there are swimming lessons or gymnastics in there. We try to be hospitable frequently. We have play dates once or twice a month.

[Zinnia]

I would love that schedule. Two of my kids would, too. And two of my kids would be just got messes because of it. So we try to balance the whole family

[MerryAtHope]

Yes, it would have been too much here. That doesn't mean you can't make it work, but I would use more criteria besides whether the kids enjoy it to decide. Definitely start with that, but other things I'd consider:

• Are school goals being met
• Is mom exhausted or energized by all that activity
• Is there daily family time (reinforcing the family structure), or do the activities tend to encourage pulling away from the family (because that only increases as they grow and become even more independent--think about the family culture long-term)
• Does everyone have down time to "just be"--to think, create, let the mind wander? It's possible to enjoy something and yet still find it overall detrimental, so just think through those dynamics in your family

Some people are comfortable being much busier than others, so I don't think it really matters what others would think. I do think it's important to think through the whole health (spiritual, mental, physical, emotional...) of both the individuals and of the family when considering outside activities.

[fralala]

I said 'other' because, well, many would probably judge what we do as 'not enough', so who am I to say?

 

AND you manage to get in everything in your siggie, too? Did I miss the memo about a day having 48 hours in Australia? I think you need to come whip my kids into shape. I can barely get them to practice one instrument.

[kiwik]

Do you have to take them to anything and wait around? Right now we do Mon ds8 gym across the road from our house, tues ds8 swimming at 1 and ds10 soccer at 5, wed ds10 tennis lesson (he attends school then takes the school bus to tennis), saturday ds10 tennis interclub. As well as that I work about 8 to 15 hours outside the home and 16 to 20 from home. Ds10 would happily add another sport though.

[Bluegoat]

I haven't read through yet.  I said yes though I perhaps also could have set other - there is a lot of subjective in that kind of assessment.

 

So - for example depending on how far a way things are, is there driving, what the times are.  Do all the kids have to come, or can some stay home when the others are out?  Are they in school in the day or homeschooled?

 

But a few things struck me - it looks like there is very little downtime.  Time for just being together as a family, hanging out with friends or being alone, working on projects.  Not much time for suppers.  Potentially a lot of time stuck in the car.  Very little time for mom to do her thing.  I wonder about time for homework.  ETA: also morning stuff really makes for a very long day, if there is evening stuff the night before or the same night.

 

I notice there is nothing on Sunday though, so that seems good.

 

I think it is important to include time for these other things in the schedule, if over-scedualing is a tendency.

Edited November 9, 2017 by Bluegoat

[Bluegoat]

For us, I felt like last year we had too much - also, it was expensive!  This year we have:

 

Monday - nothing (I go to a book group but that is six weeks only.)

 

Tuesday - dd9 and ds7 have piano at the same place, and then choir at the same place.  Dd12 has orchestra, but she walks herself there though we pick her up in winter when it is dark.  

 

Wednesday - dd9 and ds7 go to skating with friends for 8 weeks.  They get picked up and dropped off.  After xmas I will do a ukulele class.

 

Thursday - dd12 has a busy night with violin lesson (she walks) immediately followed by choir for 2 hours.

 

Friday - dd12 has piano/voice lesson.

 

Saturday: ds7 has ballet and jazz class. This is walking distance and I can shop while he has class.

 

Sunday - church, sometimes dd12 has youth group.

 

I find this ok, except Tuesday night is quite a rush.  But having Friday evening quiet, and my own activity makes a big difference.

 

 

[Mimm]

I'm intrigued. What is circus class? Sounds fun. :)

 

No one can answer if that's too much. If it's too much for you, too much for any of your kids, then it's too much.

 

I think you probably need to be an expert in carschooling. :) I did that for a while. We could sign up for a particular thing if they agreed they would bring something to do in the car. This activity landed on a particularly busy day and I felt like we needed the driving time to be productive.

[Bluegoat]

I'm intrigued. What is circus class? Sounds fun. :)

 

No one can answer if that's too much. If it's too much for you, too much for any of your kids, then it's too much.

 

I think you probably need to be an expert in carschooling. :) I did that for a while. We could sign up for a particular thing if they agreed they would bring something to do in the car. This activity landed on a particularly busy day and I felt like we needed the driving time to be productive.

 

My kids loved circus - we dropped it due to over-scedualing though.

 

They do juggling, acrobatics, trapeze and tightrope, and all the other circus skills.

[HS Mom in NC]

It wouldn't kill me, but I'm sure I'd kill someone if we had that schedule. My kids would hate it too.

[Rush]

If your kids are getting enough sleep, have a nice chunk of free time at least a couple times a week, keep up with school work, and enjoy friendships, then this is not too much for them.  It might be too much for you to do all that running around, but maybe not. 

 

I agree with the above. 

 

And, of course, everything is individually. I have two energizers and they do lots of different activities and would take even more if we were homeschooling :) but unfortunately we cannot.

Beside personally we do believe in cross-training at a very young age and a specialization after 13-14yo, so we let our kids take whatever they want and can do as longer as they sleep & play enough, have time to read and go outside at least 2 times per week. I also want to mention that my kids are under a strict medical supervision and this amount of physical activities was basically prescribed by their doctors :)

 

Our busy schedule looks like this:

 

Mon - Gymnastics(DS9), Chess (DS7)

Tue - Tennis (DS9), Athletics (both)

Wed - Maths Club(DS9),Gymnastics (DS9), Swimming (DS7), Guitar, till yesterday was ukulele (DS7)

Thu - Tennis (DS9), Swimming (DS9), Speed and Agility Training (both)

Fri - Tennis (DS9), Gymnastics (DS7), Swimming (DS7)

Sat - Music school (both), 2 hours of playing football with friends, Gymnastics (both), Piano (DS9)

Sun - Athletics (both)

 

It's very stressful for me to do all these schedules and drive them around, we also have a negative effect on our budget too, but kids are so happy and we keep everything for now. Sooner or later there will be time when you have to prioritise one activity over another, and they know that, but most probably it will be just a redistribution of the time from all activities to the prefered two-three ones.

Edited November 10, 2017 by rushhush08

[sweet2ndchance]

Since these are older kids, you don't have any littles to tote around with you and it looks like many of these activities occur in the same geographical area (ie you aren't driving over an hour to get to one lesson and then 2 hours in the other direction to get to the next, there is no way you could), I'd say as long as you are all happy with the arrangement, then you are fine. If anyone is asking to drop something, I would let them since they already have so many other outside activities. When you list it out like you did, it certainly looks like a lot, possibly more than it is since you have 3 teen/preteen children. But when you list it as activities per child, I think it looks a little different:

 

 

Mr. 14

(T) theatre company rehearsal

(W) concert band

(Th) drama class and theatre company rehearsal

(S) trombone lesson (fortnightly)

 

Ms. 12
(M) Girl Guides

(T,Th, F,S) swim training sessions

(W) art lesson, vocal lesson (fortnightly, alternate weeks), concert band

(S) riding lesson (fortnightly)

Ms. 9
(T) violin lesson, circus class, and swimming lesson

(W) Girl Guides

(Th) riding lesson (fortnightly)

(F) swimming lesson

(S) orchestra, drama class 
 

Friday
Home ed group (fortnightly, all kids)

 

Your son is in band and theater, your older daughter has Girl Guides, intensive swim training, fine arts lessons and riding lessons and your younger daughter has Girl Guides, music, drama, swimming, riding and circus classes. Your son has fewer outside activities than your daughters, but I bet that is his personality. Your 12 year old has many activities but I bet she is more extroverted than your other kids. Your younger daughter has lots of activities too but it looks like she trying out all the different things she has watched her siblings participate in and is trying to decide which ones she enjoys most. I bet in a year or two she will find where she fits in and will drop the classes that are less interesting to her.

 

When I was homeschooling my older children at those ages, I had a similar schedule but it was just for a season in life. Soon my older children were able to drive themselves to their activities and take their siblings along to their activities if needed and life seemed to calm down a bit. Plus, even during that season in life, there were times where certain activities took a break for a few weeks giving us time to catch our breath a little and catch up on anything that had been pushed to the side during busier times.

 

If everyone is happy, including you and your husband, with all these activities, then as I said before, you are fine. This is just a season in life and while it seems never ending when you are in the trenches, it really will pass by in the blink of an eye.
 

Edited November 10, 2017 by sweet2ndchance

[SKL]

Just think, if you weren't asking whether your kids have too much activity, you might be asking if they had too much screen time instead.  :P  I prefer the former.  :)

[Soror]

Just think, if you weren't asking whether your kids have too much activity, you might be asking if they had too much screen time instead.  :p  I prefer the former.  :)

It is not like those are the only options.

[Critterfixer]

It is not like those are the only options.

True. Yesterday my son was wailing because we had a long day out (two trips to town) and he felt that between school, chores and the trips to town, he hadn't had the time he needed for his NaNoWriMo project. My other son routinely fusses that he needs to get through schoolwork so that he'll have time to go work on his chipping and short drives down in the front yard.

 

There's never enough time. :laugh:

Edited November 10, 2017 by Critterfixer

[Woodland Mist Academy]

I think that was said tongue-in-cheek. At least that's how I read it. Although for some it's not far from the truth...

[SKL]

It depends on the child, of course, but if you ask my 11yo, "free time" usually means screen time.  And screen time does not make her a better person, while exercise does.  Thankfully, she loves sports.

 

And if you ask my 10yo, "free time" means pull out another pile of mess and leave it there.  :P  However, she has happily traded much of her free time at home for riding lessons, which, while costly, at least means there is usually a path from her bed to her door.

 

Perhaps as they get older and more focused on specific interests, this will change.

[SKL]

I think that was said tongue-in-cheek. At least that's how I read it. Although for some it's not far from the truth...

 

Yes, thank you.  It's Friday.  :)

[SKL]

Yesterday my kids had a surprisingly light homework load, so I told them that if they got their work done before scouts, they could watch a DVD after scouts until 9pm.  So after scouts, my eldest was extremely focused on getting home, becoming annoyed with her sister because she wanted to play around a little in the gym before leaving.  On the way home she was commenting on every momentary delay as it was eating into her movie time.  Then here comes 9pm and nobody wants to leave the TV to go to bed.  Honestly, I would have rather had more homework or structured activities than "free time" for screens on a school night.  I do realize that not all kids are like that.  :)

[Woodland Mist Academy]

 

There's never enough time. :laugh:

 

 

I think this pretty much sums it up. There is not enough time to do every possible worthy, nurturing pursuit --  whether at home or elsewhere. Each time we say yes to something, we are saying no to a world of other opportunities. It's no surprise we all say yes to different things.

[Elizabeth86]

No. We are doing nothing. None of us were having fun at soccer this fall and I vowed to do no sports until the kids were a bit older. I'm thinking until past 2nd grade we will do not team anything as I think our time will be spent best as a family just playing and enjoying each other while everyone is small.

[LMD]

I would die with that schedule. Wither away and die.

 

If my kid wanted to do it and could organise some of their own transport - maybe.

 

But, I am an unabashed homebody and making time to just be at home is high priority for us, so I assume ymmv and I didn't vote. ☺

[Meriwether]

One or more of the kids do the following:

Monday - band at the school, Spanish class (taught by me in our home but with outside student), TKD, and CAP
Tuesday- band at the school, volunteering at a local school, Latin class, FLL, choir
Wednesday - band at the school, AWANAS, TKD
Thursday - piano lesson, tumbling, Spanish class
Friday - TKD, occasional homeschool group activity
Saturday - TKD
Sunday - TKD

Based on my own experience, I would say you are doing too much. Mostly because I think I am doing too much and it seems we have a similar activity load.

[Woodland Mist Academy]

Another factor to consider is support. Many families I know -- especially ones with several children -- have extensive support networks. The parents aren't doing all the driving. Older siblings, other family members (such as grandparents), friends, nannies, neighbors, carpools, etc help make things happen.  Sharing the time commitment makes a big difference in making multiple activities feel doable.

 

There are many factors that go into deciding what is too much for a given family -- a list of activities alone doesn't tell the whole story.

Edited November 12, 2017 by Woodland Mist Academy

[deerforest]

I'm still stuck on the one circus class.. my DD spends most of her life doing circus! So, how's that for comparison? LOL (she does chorus, volunteering, and a couple of outdoor programs too otherwise her outsides classes are all circus focused: group classes, private lessons, local and traveling workshops, working as a teaching assistant, or performing at a show or gig a billion hours a week!)

Edited November 12, 2017 by deerforest

[Davysmom]

I put other because it depends on the schedule.

The activities aren’t a lot of the timing of them works well. Things like: Are they at the same time and locations or are you all running all day?

Do you have time to get school done?

Do the kids feel overwhelmed?

Etc

(you don’t have to actually answer but for us it would depend on those questions if it was too much!)