Hats in restaurants

[Miss Mousie]

My first attempt at a poll.  I hope I get it right!

 

Multiple answers allowed, votes not public.

[MercyA]

For a man or for a woman?

[Word Nerd]

Depends on the restaurant.

[Mergath]

It depends on the hat and the restaurant.

[Joker]

Depends on the hat and the restaurant.

 

For us, in the cold weather it's not uncommon for all four of us to end up eating out while wearing beanies. I see no reason for anyone to remove those and we're not anywhere fancy obviously.

 

If it's like a baseball cap or other hat, all of us (male and female) would remove it when in a restaurant. I can't recall any of us ever wearing a hat if going to any place we consider really nice. 

 

I also don't think anything of those who don't remove their hats. It's not something I think of as that big of a deal. 

[Miss Mousie]

For a man or for a woman?

 

Interesting question.  You can decide for yourself, and post your thoughts.  :001_smile:

[Jean in Newcastle]

In our culture, men remove hats inside (unless it is an extremely casual place) but women don’t. I did think that those cultural norms have changed.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

I don't find it rude anymore. It may look odd in a fancy place, but otherwise it doesn't bother me at all.

 

 

 

It used to be rude, but times change.

[Garga]

It was a thing in the past and is probably still a thing in a certain economic class, but for me and my middle-class friends in 2017, it wouldn't cross my mind to care in any way about any hat--church lady hat, ball cap, winter hat: it's all good to me.

Edited November 5, 2017 by Garga

[Mothersweets]

Well , I'm old school and voted yes but I only meant yes for a man. A woman can wear a hat anywhere she wants. 

 

eta - in a fast food restaurant it doesn't matter either way.

Edited November 5, 2017 by Mothersweets

[J-rap]

I see it often in a casual restaurant, but rarely in a very nice restaurant.  I'm fine with that.

[Amira]

Personally, I don’t think head coverings of any type are rude. Maybe inappropriate in some situations depending on the hat or the place, but not rude. Hats with rude words on them are different, but the words are the problem, not the hat itself.

[creekland]

I was brought up to consider it rude, but then I've experienced more life.  I've seen enough folks dealing with chemo who enjoy that others will wear hats so they aren't the only one doing so that I no longer consider it rude anywhere or with any person - even if no one in their party is on chemo.  It's a "tradition" (being considered rude) that ought to die.

 

But I don't wear hats myself, so... (I don't wear them anywhere.)

 

I rarely even notice in restaurants anymore.  In school we're supposed to stop it (except for kids undergoing chemo), but I'll admit that I don't make it a priority.  If pjs are allowed (and they are) what the heck is wrong with hats?

[Carrie12345]

If you're wearing a filthy old ball cap in a fancy restaurant, I'll silently judge you as clueless, but rude wouldn't cross my mind.
(Also, the odds of finding me in a fancy restaurant are incredibly slim, so it isn't as if I actually care, lol.)

 

[Suzanne in ABQ]

Around here, cowboy hats and baseball caps are common, also "gangster" type billed caps to a lesser degree.  You wouldn't see any of them in upscale restaurants, but you'd see all of them at a fast food place.  In between, it just depends on the restaurant.  I can't think of specific instances, probably because I don't give it much thought.  

[Rachel]

No big deal. When my husband started balding he was pretty self conscious and always wore a hat. Now he shaves his head and it's no big deal. I would not want him wearing a hat at a restaurant if we dressed up, but I wouldn't care at a fast casual or even a chain restaurant like Logans or Applebees.

 

I wouldn't notice if someone else were wearing a hat in a restaurant at all. Now at church, sitting in a pew I would notice. However, I'm not going to judge. I would much rather someone feel comfortable and welcome at our church than worry about whether they are conforming to tradition.

Edited November 5, 2017 by Rach

[marbel]

In our culture, men remove hats inside (unless it is an extremely casual place) but women don’t. I did think that those cultural norms have changed.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

This is what I first thought of.  IIRC, it was because for a woman, a hat was part of the outfit (and could mess up her hair) whereas for a man, it was not. Even when I was growing up, this was the thinking.

 

I still don't like to see guys in hats in restaurants and if my husband or son were hat-wearers, would ask them to remove it.  But, it doesn't really matter and I certainly would never tell anyone else to take off his hat, shoot him dirty looks, consider him an ill-mannered boor, etc.  

[Amy in NH]

I think "no hats" rules are stupid.  Similar to "you can't wear white after Labor Day and before Memorial Day." 

As long as it is clean, who cares?  JMHO.

[Selkie]

It doesn't bother me and I have never understood why it is considered rude. I wouldn't do it, but only because I hate wearing hats. If someone else wants to, I have zero problems with it.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

This is what I first thought of.  IIRC, it was because for a woman, a hat was part of the outfit (and could mess up her hair) whereas for a man, it was not. Even when I was growing up, this was the thinking.

 

I still don't like to see guys in hats in restaurants and if my husband or son were hat-wearers, would ask them to remove it.  But, it doesn't really matter and I certainly would never tell anyone else to take off his hat, shoot him dirty looks, consider him an ill-mannered boor, etc.  

 

 

 

Guys choose hats now for this reason as well. Often it is part of an outfit, and will mess up their hair to remove it as well. 

 

Hathead. 

[TechWife]

I voted “other.†Men should remove hats inside. Women may leave them on.

[Teachaheart]

I voted that it depends on the hat and on the restaurant, but I also voted other because I think it also often depends on the reason a person is wearing a hat. I'm thinking of people going through chemo and people who cover their heads for religious reasons. I'm sure there are other reasons as well in which a person might wear a hat in a restaurant even though others might consider it inappropriate.

[Laura Corin]

I voted 'other'.  I wouldn't think one way or the other about it, unless the hat gets in the way of other diners.

[Guest]

Rude for a man; not rude for a woman.

[TechWife]

I think it depends on the had and the restaurant, and even the situation.

 

For example, I can think of situations where a dinner is being held at a restaurant to honor a particular person for service in a particular organization for which a hat is a part of a uniform. I don't think that the person being honored is obligated to remove that part of their uniform.

 

And if we talking about McDs....I don't think people are obligated to take a hat off when people frequently walk into McDs in pj pants and so on.

 

But, regular person wearing a baseball cap at Olive Garden? Yeah, probably should take it off.

Are there uniforms where hats are worn inside (other than food service)?

 

Military and Scout uniforms have hats, but they are required to remove them inside, so a member of one of those would not wear their hat inside even if they were being honored.

[teachermom2834]

I have boys that wear hats. I don't care if they wear them inside. My dad cares, so they take them off with him but I leave it to him to deal with.

 

I have made sure my boys understand that while I do not care, some people get very offended so it is up to them if they want to run that risk. Kind of like having an unusual hairstyle. I'm not going to forbid it but I will make sure my kid understands the reaction it might get and is willing to accept the consequences.

 

If I had a living grandfather I would probably make sure they took hats off out of respect. Our older neighbor man who I absolutely adore gets infuriated by hats in restaurants so I would make them take them off with him. I think this is a norm that is fading away and I don't care one way or the other. I would only care if I knew it upset an older person that I loved and respected. And if a kid of mine chooses to wear a hat inside they need to be ready for disapproving looks and even comments from older folks.

[Rachel]

Are there uniforms where hats are worn inside (other than food service)?

 

Military and Scout uniforms have hats, but they are required to remove them inside, so a member of one of those would not wear their hat inside even if they were being honored.

A friend of mine is part of an Army honor guard. There was some sort of flag ceremony yesterday and he was definitely wearing a hat inside while performing the ceremony. The other members of the honor guard were too.

[OneStepAtATime]

I was raised that men should always take their hats off when inside a restaurant but if a woman has a hat then no, she does not have to take it off.  Now that I am an adult who has experienced life I find this social construct silly, nonsensical, sexist and frankly I just don't care what people do with their hats. 

 

 There are exceptions. If your hat says something offensive to me I may get irritated.  If your hat stinks to high heaven I will be grossed out.  If your hat is large and obstructs my vision but I cannot shift my location and you refuse to remove it after being politely asked I will be annoyed. 

 

But otherwise, I don't care.  I really, really don't.  I think hats can be really nice and they can definitely be needed (cancer survivor here and there were times I absolutely needed my hat/head covering). 

 

Wear your (general "you") hat.  Enjoy your hat.  Were it Inside/outside/upside down.  Fast food, casual family restaurant, fancy, whatever.  I seriously have no issues with your non-smelly, non-vision obstructing hat.   :lol:

 

 

ETA:  But in some circles of the society I live in, it very definitely is still considered rude for men to wear hats in restaurants.  My son loves hats.  He wears really nice ones, like fedoras and bowler hats and other more old fashioned styles.  I have made it clear I support his choice to keep on or take off his hat in a restaurant but that there are still those that will consider it rude if he keeps his hat on.  I feel it is important for me to teach him about the norms of our culture while still giving him the freedom of choice now that he is old enough to better understand the potential consequences of that choice.

Edited November 5, 2017 by OneStepAtATime

[creekland]

I got curious about the history of this tradition.  According to this site:

 

"The gesture of removing ones hat, headdress or helmet dates back to ancient times -- however, the exact date of origin is not known. Knights removed helmets in the presence of a king as a display of vulnerability and trust that the king would not kill them. Knights also removed helmets in church as an expression of security in one's sanctuary. Knights displayed chivalry by removing headpieces in the presence of a lady. The practice of removing ones headdress evolved to represent a show of respect and courtesy in various situations -- including the removal of the hat when entering a home, courtroom, restaurant or church."

 

https://oureverydaylife.com/how-did-the-practice-of-men-taking-their-hats-off-inside-start-12580056.html

 

I'm pretty sure guys shouldn't have to worry about getting killed when they go places most of the time now (at least, not in a way that a hat would save them), so no need to show vulnerability, and no real need for the tradition any longer. 

 

Like all traditions, it continues because "the way we grew up is the 'right' way," no other reason needed.   :lol:   Personally, I can get over that.

[foxbridgeacademy]

Not really but more importantly I don't think I get to decide if someone should or shouldn't wear a hat, it's not hurting/effecting me in anyway so why would I care what they wear?

[OneStepAtATime]

I got curious about the history of this tradition.  According to this site:

 

"The gesture of removing ones hat, headdress or helmet dates back to ancient times -- however, the exact date of origin is not known. Knights removed helmets in the presence of a king as a display of vulnerability and trust that the king would not kill them. Knights also removed helmets in church as an expression of security in one's sanctuary. Knights displayed chivalry by removing headpieces in the presence of a lady. The practice of removing ones headdress evolved to represent a show of respect and courtesy in various situations -- including the removal of the hat when entering a home, courtroom, restaurant or church."

 

https://oureverydaylife.com/how-did-the-practice-of-men-taking-their-hats-off-inside-start-12580056.html

 

I'm pretty sure guys shouldn't have to worry about getting killed when they go places most of the time now (at least, not in a way that a hat would save them), so no need to show vulnerability, and no real need for the tradition any longer. 

 

Like all traditions, it continues because "the way we grew up is the 'right' way," no other reason needed.   :lol:   Personally, I can get over that.

LOL.  We humans really are creatures of habit/tradition, aren't we?

[creekland]

LOL.  We humans really are creatures of habit/tradition, aren't we?

 

Oh it makes sense in many cases - those who survived were the folks one wanted to copy.  This helped us know what foods to eat, what animals to avoid, how to go to high ground after an earthquake, when and how to plant/harvest/hunt, have weather appropriate shelter, etc.

 

But there are times one needs to look at how/why something evolved into a tradition and go, "Is this really necessary now?" and come to their own conclusion.  For many humans, the "old way" truly is the only "right" way (whether it's how to cook lasagna or when to wear a hat).  It can take a lot of thinking to overcome that and realize, "it's still ok."

[OneStepAtATime]

Oh it makes sense in many cases - those who survived were the folks one wanted to copy.  This helped us know what foods to eat, what animals to avoid, how to go to high ground after an earthquake, when and how to plant/harvest/hunt, have weather appropriate shelter, etc.

 

But there are times one needs to look at how/why something evolved into a tradition and go, "Is this really necessary now?" and come to their own conclusion.  For many humans, the "old way" truly is the only "right" way (whether it's how to cook lasagna or when to wear a hat).  It can take a lot of thinking to overcome that and realize, "it's still ok."

:iagree:

[SKL]

I voted "other."  In the tradition I was raised in, ladies were allowed to wear hats but men were supposed to remove them.  However, this old tradition relates to hats that go with the outfit - not just any hat.  In my view, it applies to "old lady hats," the kind that are pinned on and designed for fashion, not weather.

 

I know there are recent styles for young people that involve wearing hats indoors.  Not a fan.  I would discourage it in my kids at a restaurant or in school / church.
 

[Daria]

It depends on the hat, the restaurant, and the person.

 

Gender has a role.  I don't consider the "church lady" type hats worn by the red hat society to be rude, for example, whereas a similarly large brimmed hat (say a cowboy hat) would be out of place.  

 

Type of hat has a role.  A soft hat, like a toque, or the soft caps that women with cancer sometimes wear, aren't rude.  

 

Religion plays a role.  I wouldn't consider a mennonite woman's cap/bonnet to be rude, or a Jewish man's kippah. 

 

The restaurant plays a role.  Anything goes at Macdonald's!

[Crimson Wife]

 people who cover their heads for religious reasons

 

That is a completely different situation than a fashion hat. I wouldn't think twice about seeing a religious headcovering in a fancy restaurant but a baseball cap or trucker hat I'd raise my eyebrows at.

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

I rarely see anyone wearing hats. 

[Baseball mom]

With my stepdad, caps come off when you sit at the table, whether it is a restaurant or him. So when with him hats come off.

 

With me it depends on how nice a place we are at (we never eat anywhere really fancy). And at home I don't care.

 

Caps must be off for prayer.

[RootAnn]

I have a DD who wears a baseball cap & sunglasses just about everywhere. (IMO, it is a comfort thing. She wore her cap with her sunglasses on top when she did her book signing. The little kids in town recognize her in her cap & sunglasses. She had a little kid pointing her out to his dad & waving to her at the movies the other night. It was so cute. Without them, especially with her hair down, she has a completely different look.)

 

While I would have her remove it at a fancy restaurant, at just a normal eat out place, I'm fine with her wearing it. (And, yes, I'm sexist because I'd make my sons remove their caps inside.)

[Bluegoat]

Well, traditionally in European-influenced places, I'd say men's hats are taken off, but women's hats aren't.  There is some wiggle room there though, for things like a cafe outside, or another place where there is not anywhere to put the hat.

 

When I've seen women wearing men's hats (like in the army) they follow the rules for men, and vice versa I assume though I haven't seen that actually ever done.

 

I think these days, most women's hats are weather related, though, so they tend to take them off.

[Sandwalker]

I think in my area, schools don't allow hats because certain color ones can signify gang membership.

[HS Mom in NC]

I don't understand the question.  Are you asking if each individual poster considers it rude to wear a hat in a restaurant or are you asking what each poster's cultural norm is regarding hats in restaurants?

I've never really thought much about it because I can only think of one time it ever came up and it was someone born in 1922 in The South who was shocked a man showed up at church and kept his hat on.  Everyone around her pointed out that what mattered is that he was in church and people were nice to him; the hat and its location were irrelevant. The West is pretty flexible on things like that.

Not a lot of hat wearing around here, expect in outdoorsy situations-camping, hiking, yard work, at the public pool. Farther out people wear them at rodeos. When we eat in a fast food restaurant coming back from  camping we all leave out hats on because we haven't groomed in days. None of us wears a hat for fashion-just to avoid sunburns when we're outside all day.

I can't think of situations where I've seen moderate or higher end restaurants with customers in hats, but people usually dress up a bit more, leaving the ball caps and cowboy hats at home, so that's just a dressing custom, not a wear into the building and take it off thing. I've never seen anyone IRL in a hat other than a ball cap or cowboy hat unless it was the red hat ladies out and about or customers at a tea house. Red hat ladies wear them indoors.

Let's be honest, isn't it kind of weird to have a strong opinion about someone wearing a hat indoors? It's like being bothered about people scooping their soup toward them vs. away from them or using the "wrong" fork.  Uh, when you're making rules like that, it's for no good reason. It doesn't affect anyone or anything negatively and any perceived symbolism about respect is just traditionalism for it's own sake-not a tradition that matters. Emily Post may have something to say about it, but honestly, who cares what Emily Post says?  She's just one opinion on customs that were norms at a particular point in time with a particular set of people.  Shrug.

Religious issues are completely different with each religion having their own criteria for hat wearing. I'm evangelical Protestant-we don't have criteria for headcoverings of any kind.
 

Edited November 6, 2017 by Homeschool Mom in AZ

[ktgrok]

Men's hat, yes.

 

Women's hats, no. 

 

Them's the breaks. 

 

That said, I won't say anything or sit silently judging. But I will expect (or at least hope) that my own family would abide by the rule that men don't wear hats indoors. 

[Closeacademy]

It really depends. 

 

Is it a fancy restaurant or fast food or something in-between? Fancy restaurant, probably rude unless the person is wearing a hat because of some sort of social anxiety or other problem that might be going on. My daughter used hats for years to help her cope with social anxiety. I can see children on the spectrum needing a hat for reasons. Lots of reasons out there for why someone would need or want to wear a hat. 

[Lady Florida.]

I don't find it rude anymore. It may look odd in a fancy place, but otherwise it doesn't bother me at all.

 

 

 

It used to be rude, but times change.

This. It goes along with what some are pointing out in a few other threads currently. People who stomp their feet and refuse to change often end up bitter at being left behind.

[Ellie]

It is rude for men to wear hats in restaurants. I don't care if they have hat hair because they always wear baseball caps. It is rude.

 

It is never rude for women to wear hats anywhere. It isn't fair, but such is life. :hat:

[Bluegoat]

A friend of mine is part of an Army honor guard. There was some sort of flag ceremony yesterday and he was definitely wearing a hat inside while performing the ceremony. The other members of the honor guard were too.

 

In the kind of place you have a flag ceremony, you will still follow the hat rules for outside.  But if you go into a church, a mess, or sit down to eat ,you would have to take of your hat.  Even in a fast food place.

 

Military people in many cases aren't supposed to eat out on the street at all in the kind of place you could not take off your cap, like at a food truck where you had to stand to eat.

[Loowit]

I grew up being told was was rude. I don't really care if men want too wear their hats when eating. I never pay attention really.

 

It was pointed out to me by my MIL a couple years ago that my DH's grandfather found it rude. I hadn't really thought about my son's habit of wearing his hat all the time even at the table until she said something. Dh's grandfather was elderly and I felt out was important to respect his wishes so I had a talk with my son and he was very understanding.

[poppy]

Who on earth is silently judging a guy for wearing a ball cap in, like, a diner?  What is the point of that judgement? Does it make you feel good about yourself?  I don't get it.

 

[historically accurate]

I have a family member who wears a hat non-stop. He's a melanoma survivor who has gone bald. He worries about his scalp being exposed to sunlight, so he always wears a hat. I don't care if he wears it in the house/restaurant. In fact, thinking about it, I can't really remember if he removes it to go inside. 

 

I know about the rule, but I don't really see a reason for it, so wear a hat with pride indoor or out.