Scarlett Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 I guess the article really really upset a few people. I didn't mention the girl or the man.....but apparently it was obvious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 I guess the article really really upset a few people. I didn't mention the girl or the man.....but apparently it was obvious. Too bad. Not sad. If it upsets them in any manner other than outrage that it happened, then they need to fix their moral compass. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 I posted that nor article on my FB. It did not go well. Things are blowing up. sounds like they didn't like being dragged out of their denial. if they were as comfortable with the situation as they claim, they wouldn't have even recognized themselves. shakespeare said something about "protesting too much" . . . . . 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 You didn’t do anything wrong. In fact, you showed courage by showing them where you stand. I hope the ones upset are the parents involved. And I hope your friends who were also bothered by all this will stand behind you. I agree! I think it was very courageous to have posted the article, and I believe you did the right thing. You didn't just stand by and do nothing. You are the only person who has taken any public action, and you did it without calling anyone out by name. Someone needed to take a stand for this girl. She could very easily be Heather from that article. If people get upset, tell them to direct their anger where it belongs -- at people who are grooming a child to marry a 25 year-old man. There is nothing normal about that. It is 100% wrong, and if anyone you know believes otherwise, it's probably good for you to know what kind of people they really are. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 It was his aunt who flipped out on me. And took it out on my son. Her sister is the man's mother..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 She took it out on your son?? How? Good grief, is the whole flipping family nuts? Yep. I think so. Her dd and my son are very good friends. So she says her dd can no longer hang around my boys. So stupid. Her dd will be 18 in a few weeks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 (((Scarlet))) I'm sorry. The snarky side of me wants to say that she must want her daughter hanging out with 28 year old men. The nice side of me hopes that your son and her daughter can remain friends. The daughter will be an adult in a few weeks and should be old enough to choose her own friends then. *Sigh* Sorry, I think the snark just snuck its way back in. :grouphug: 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 OP, I think the aunt needs to get the pole out of her keister. I feel bad for your sons, but maybe it will turn out to be for the best because that kind of drama can run in families. It is kind of laughable that she is trying to control each near eighteen year old to such a degree. The girl can talk to them if she wants here very soon. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 (edited) I think, perhaps, there is a perception of an insult -- if people believe you implied the situations are substantively similar. Indeed they are similar: but your real situation does not include (to anyone's knowledge) the man being a rapist, the teen being intoxicated and victimized, the teen being pregnant, or anyone arranging a coercive hasty out-of-state marriage at these ages in a bid to avoid criminal consiquences for the rapist. Your situation involves some attraction, some flirting, the beginnings of a relationship that the parents may approve of, but are definitely trying to put on hold until it approaches something more appropriate in future years. I can see the points of similarity as well as anyone... but the points of differentiation are fairly significant as well. I get why the comparison might be offensive. Edited October 20, 2017 by bolt. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 I think, perhaps, there is a perception of an insult -- if people believe you implied the situations are substantively similar. Indeed they are similar: but your real situation does not include (to anyone's knowledge) the man being a rapist, the teen being intoxicated and victimized, the teen being pregnant, or anyone arranging a coercive hasty out-of-state marriage at these ages in a bid to avoid criminal consiquences for the rapist. Your situation involves some attraction, some flirting, the beginnings of a relationship that the parents may approve of, but are definitely trying to put on hold until it approaches something more appropriate in future years. I can see the points of similarity as well as anyone... but the points of differentiation are fairly significant as well. I get why the comparison might be offensive. What do you see the parents doing that would imply that they're trying to put the relationship on hold for "future years?" It appears to me that the parents are not only actively encouraging this relationship, but that this "couple" may very well end up getting married as soon as the girl turns 16, with the blessing of both sets of parents. Sorry, but this kind of relationship is entirely inappropriate and I think it was a good idea to have posted that article. Honestly, if people are offended by the content of the article, perhaps it's because it's hitting them a little too close to home, because there are definite similarities between the couple in the article and this particular 25yo man and 15yo girl. I am disgusted by the aunt's attitude. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Yep. I think so. Her dd and my son are very good friends. So she says her dd can no longer hang around my boys. So stupid. Her dd will be 18 in a few weeks. Her dd is almost 18 and her mother is still telling her who she can be friends with??? :svengo: It sounds like that whole family is all kinds of crazy! I hope the aunt's dd remains friends with your son. I would hate to see your son lose a friend over this -- and I would be very sad for the aunt's dd because her mom shouldn't be so controlling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Yep. I think so. Her dd and my son are very good friends. So she says her dd can no longer hang around my boys. So stupid. Her dd will be 18 in a few weeks. So...because you posted an article bringing up the problems with child brides, her daughter can't hang out with your sons? How incredibly messed up is that? She only wants her daughter around boys that see her as potential child bride material??? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 I think, perhaps, there is a perception of an insult -- if people believe you implied the situations are substantively similar. Indeed they are similar: but your real situation does not include (to anyone's knowledge) the man being a rapist, the teen being intoxicated and victimized, the teen being pregnant, or anyone arranging a coercive hasty out-of-state marriage at these ages in a bid to avoid criminal consiquences for the rapist. Your situation involves some attraction, some flirting, the beginnings of a relationship that the parents may approve of, but are definitely trying to put on hold until it approaches something more appropriate in future years. I can see the points of similarity as well as anyone... but the points of differentiation are fairly significant as well. I get why the comparison might be offensive. Sure. But the piece wasn't just about that couple. It was about child marriage in America. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 I might disagree a bit about the article - while it seems like that should be ok, to post something like that generally I think that kind of approach doesn't work. People tend to see it as being accusatory, usually in the worst way it possibly could be. And it can seem kind of passive-egressive, as if you are pretending not to compare, but really you are. People don't seem to be able to read an article like that, which someone seems to be comparing to their situation, and just take away the points that might actually apply to them and leave those that don't. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 I might disagree a bit about the article - while it seems like that should be ok, to post something like that generally I think that kind of approach doesn't work. People tend to see it as being accusatory, usually in the worst way it possibly could be. And it can seem kind of passive-egressive, as if you are pretending not to compare, but really you are. People don't seem to be able to read an article like that, which someone seems to be comparing to their situation, and just take away the points that might actually apply to them and leave those that don't. Ok, I will give you that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 So apparently my son's friend had a huge fight with her mom over the power play of banning her from being around my boys. And the friend of my son said her aunt (the 25 year olds mother) was behind the whole mess of the text I and my son got. Her mom totally backed down. So I guess she can be around my son after all. But he wont be going to that house. I guess that was the 25 year olds moms passive aggressive answer to my passive aggressive post. Lol See I would prefer to be able to be direct with the 25 year old and with both sets of parents. But it seems like not my place or none of my business. So if that is true ( and I am not sure it is) I should just let it go. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Her dd is almost 18 and her mother is still telling her who she can be friends with??? :svengo: It sounds like that whole family is all kinds of crazy! I hope the aunt's dd remains friends with your son. I would hate to see your son lose a friend over this -- and I would be very sad for the aunt's dd because her mom shouldn't be so controlling. My niece is 29 - my brother still tries to tell he who she can and can't be friends with. that didn't work when she was 16, so I can't imagine why he thinks it will work now. she put him on block again. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 My niece is 29 - my brother still tries to tell he who she can and can't be friends with. that didn't work when she was 16, so I can't imagine why he thinks it will work now. she put him on block again. It was a total angry power play of 'I am so mad and this is all I can think I can actually do!' She also had a lot of bossy language such as 'I no longer want to hear ANY innuendos about the age difference'. As if she is my mother. Or my sons. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 It was a total angry power play of 'I am so mad and this is all I can think I can actually do!' She also had a lot of bossy language such as 'I no longer want to hear ANY innuendos about the age difference'. As if she is my mother. Or my sons. The fact that they don't want to hear about the age difference means they are serious about having that 25yo marry that girl. :ack2: I really think there must be some reason why his parents want to marry him off to a girl who's too young to see what's wrong with him. I still feel like there's something going on with that guy that no one knows about except for his parents. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 The fact that they don't want to hear about the age difference means they are serious about having that 25yo marry that girl. :ack2: I really think there must be some reason why his parents want to marry him off to a girl who's too young to see what's wrong with him. I still feel like there's something going on with that guy that no one knows about except for his parents. His dad is not well. And he is an only child. And his mom wants him married off before the dad dies. That is my theory. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 The fact that they don't want to hear about the age difference means they are serious about having that 25yo marry that girl. :ack2: I really think there must be some reason why his parents want to marry him off to a girl who's too young to see what's wrong with him. I still feel like there's something going on with that guy that no one knows about except for his parents. I kind of wonder now based on the aunt's reaction, if the 25 yr old may have had issues with an underage relationship before. Maybe he got too close with a teen on a mission trip and her parents reacted the way most of us on here would. It was kept very hush-hush and maybe no one knows but them. There is something more here than just wanting him married before his dad passes. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 (edited) It was a total angry power play of 'I am so mad and this is all I can think I can actually do!' She also had a lot of bossy language such as 'I no longer want to hear ANY innuendos about the age difference'. As if she is my mother. Or my sons. "Dear mother of an adult man: if you do not want to hear criticism of your son, tell him that underage children are not appropriate romantic interests." Edited October 20, 2017 by maize 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 I kind of wonder now based on the aunt's reaction, if the 25 yr old may have had issues with an underage relationship before. Maybe he got too close with a teen on a mission trip and her parents reacted the way most of us on here would. It was kept very hush-hush and maybe no one knows but them. There is something more here than just wanting him married before his dad passes. I don't think so. He was gone for 3 years and the parents were terrified he would marry someone far away. I know of one relationship they actively discouraged because they felt the girls parents were too controlling. I guess they want to be the ones in control. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 "Dear mother of an adult man: if you do not want to hear criticism of your son, tell him that underage children are not appropriate romantic interests." Ha. I would love to be able to say that to her. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 I don't think so. He was gone for 3 years and the parents were terrified he would marry someone far away. I know of one relationship they actively discouraged because they felt the girls parents were too controlling. I guess they want to be the ones in control. A lot can happen in three years especially when his parents were not there. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 A lot can happen in three years especially when his parents were not there. Well she wasn't underage. So not sure what you are saying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Her reaction really gives the lie to the assertions that they are not dating. Why respond defensively to an article about child marriage if you were not planning for and encouraging a child marriage? 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Well she wasn't underage. So not sure what you are saying. Not the relationship he told his parents about. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 I have a 14 year old daughter. I want to vomit at the thought of a man in his twenties making plans to marry her. Yes she is woman height. And she is still a child. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 Not the relationship he told his parents about. Oh. Well I have no reason to think that. He was working and living with other adult volunteers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 I don't think so. He was gone for 3 years and the parents were terrified he would marry someone far away. I know of one relationship they actively discouraged because they felt the girls parents were too controlling. I guess they want to be the ones in control. This actually explains a lot. Taking rape totally out of it, the article still highlighted how easy it is to control young girls who are powerless and easy to manipulate. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 (edited) It was a total angry power play of 'I am so mad and this is all I can think I can actually do!' She also had a lot of bossy language such as 'I no longer want to hear ANY innuendos about the age difference'. As if she is my mother. Or my sons. Dear crazy lady,If he is supposed to be a 25 yr old man, maybe he shouldn’t be interested in jailbait if he is worried about his reputation. Edited October 20, 2017 by Murphy101 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 His dad is not well. And he is an only child. And his mom wants him married off before the dad dies. That is my theory. These people are just stupid and selfish. If I knew my GROWN child was in love with another GROWN person, sure I’d love to see their wedding day before I die, but that’s not really up to me. If hey haven’t even met someone appropriate yet, then there’s nothing for me to see yet. The point of seeing the wedding is seeing them in love with what I hope will be a forever long term healthy sacred relationship. Ugh. It’s not like the guy has to beget an heir pronto from a wealthy bride to save the family estate from ruin. Good grief. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 The fact that they don't want to hear about the age difference means they are serious about having that 25yo marry that girl. :ack2: I really think there must be some reason why his parents want to marry him off to a girl who's too young to see what's wrong with him. I still feel like there's something going on with that guy that no one knows about except for his parents. bingo. His dad is not well. And he is an only child. And his mom wants him married off before the dad dies. That is my theory. then why push for him to marry A CHILD? why not find some nice girl closer to his age? This actually explains a lot. Taking rape totally out of it, the article still highlighted how easy it is to control young girls who are powerless and easy to manipulate. the parents certainly sound controlling. and I agree most teens (boys too) are easily manipulated. and if this 25 year old man is being pushed by his parents towards a 15 year old girl - he needs to learn to stand up to his parents. I married young (I was legal.) with a big gap. 2sil thought that was why dh married me. (she reminds me of my grandmother in some ways.) she tried it once. . . let's just say, it didn't work they way she thought it would and blew up in her face. because I wasn't a pushover. My grandmother was a bully, and I had learned to stand up to her before dh and I even met. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 What do you see the parents doing that would imply that they're trying to put the relationship on hold for "future years?" It appears to me that the parents are not only actively encouraging this relationship, but that this "couple" may very well end up getting married as soon as the girl turns 16, with the blessing of both sets of parents. Sorry, but this kind of relationship is entirely inappropriate and I think it was a good idea to have posted that article. Honestly, if people are offended by the content of the article, perhaps it's because it's hitting them a little too close to home, because there are definite similarities between the couple in the article and this particular 25yo man and 15yo girl. I am disgusted by the aunt's attitude. I want to say first -- like everyone else here -- I completely disapprove of this relationship, and I think that there will probably be hell to pay. To answer the question, what I see the parents doing, that I interpreted to be a form of putting the brakes on the relationship, is denying that they are dating and facilitating supervised contact instead of clandestine contact. Family events, with family present, where they act as if they are merely good friends (and their desire to be 'more than that' goes unspoken) is a relationship phase. The family seems very focused on firmly keeping it at that phase: probably until she turns 16. At 16, maybe they will go from 'pretending it's friendship' to 'just kidding, married now' at the drop of a hat. Or, maybe, at 16 they will give permission for chaperoned dates and proceed to oversee and stretch out each phase until she reaches a less childlike status in a couple of years. I don't know which one they will do, and neither does anyone. Both possible futures fit their current "encouraging" actions. -- Again, I very much think this relationship is a huge problem as it is. I'm just thinking about how these things happen in the abstract. -- I think, maybe, I've got some sympathy here because I have honestly asked myself what I would do. My DD is 12, and I work at a college where there are 22-25 year olds. If a young college man expressed an interest in my daughter in a few years when she is 15. I would hell-no it in a flash, but if they had mutual interest and traveled in the same circles, and I generally (formerly) had a high opinion of the guy... I might, conceivably, possibly consider a "try being good friends for a couple of years, then we'll talk" approach. If I went that way, I might have the appearance of encouraging the faux-friendship (because it would have no alone time and plenty of time with me). My strategy (and the begrudging nature of that strategy) might not be obvious. I'm not sure the setup was intentional, even if the parents facillitated it. They possibly had no idea about the possible attraction due to the age difference. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 Yes it just gets more crazy and more crazy. I responded to the aunt and tried to pin down what she was so upset about. She responded and switched tactics to now she is upset about her daughter and my son texting so much. And then the big long text about how she is so concerned about her daughter and how she has to be drastic and stopping them from texting each other. With lots of all caps and BLAH blah blah and telling me to not tell her dd anything about what she had texted to me. So last night she told her daughter she could text my son. This morning she tells me no but don't tell my daughter I said that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Yes it just gets more crazy and more crazy. I responded to the aunt and tried to pin down what she was so upset about. She responded and switched tactics to now she is upset about her daughter and my son texting so much. And then the big long text about how she is so concerned about her daughter and how she has to be drastic and stopping them from texting each other. With lots of all caps and BLAH blah blah and telling me to not tell her dd anything about what she had texted to me. So last night she told her daughter she could text my son. This morning she tells me no but don't tell my daughter I said that. This girl is 18 in a few weeks? Uhm, I just have to say, that I would be really inclined to save all the texts of the mother's crazy, and then send them to her when she reaches the age of majority. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 My son already sent them to her 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 So apparently my son's friend had a huge fight with her mom over the power play of banning her from being around my boys. And the friend of my son said her aunt (the 25 year olds mother) was behind the whole mess of the text I and my son got. Her mom totally backed down. So I guess she can be around my son after all. But he wont be going to that house. I guess that was the 25 year olds moms passive aggressive answer to my passive aggressive post. Lol See I would prefer to be able to be direct with the 25 year old and with both sets of parents. But it seems like not my place or none of my business. So if that is true ( and I am not sure it is) I should just let it go. Well, I would say your arrow hit its mark. I frankly wouldn't worry about it one bit. There are probably a lot of folks silently relieved that someone actually spoke up. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 I don't think so. He was gone for 3 years and the parents were terrified he would marry someone far away. I know of one relationship they actively discouraged because they felt the girls parents were too controlling. I guess they want to be the ones in control. Ok I admit, this made me LOL. And now I feel guilty because the whole thing is so wrong. I am actually starting to feel a bit of sympathy for the 25yo guy. Dollars to donuts she will offer the couple a place to live, with her. (Now y'all can jump over to the "plans for elder care" threads if you haven't already.) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Yes it just gets more crazy and more crazy. I responded to the aunt and tried to pin down what she was so upset about. She responded and switched tactics to now she is upset about her daughter and my son texting so much. And then the big long text about how she is so concerned about her daughter and how she has to be drastic and stopping them from texting each other. With lots of all caps and BLAH blah blah and telling me to not tell her dd anything about what she had texted to me. So last night she told her daughter she could text my son. This morning she tells me no but don't tell my daughter I said that. Uh. What the hecken. Who does that?! I don't do secrets or play these stupid games. I'd tell her daughter and my son, this behavior is not acceptable to me. There will be no drama middle school mean girl nonsense around here. If you can't do that, then maybe it would be best to give everyone some distance while all these young people focus on their education and personal goals for the next several months. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Uh. What the hecken. Who does that?! I don't do secrets or play these stupid games. I'd tell her daughter and my son, this behavior is not acceptable to me. There will be no drama middle school mean girl nonsense around here. If you can't do that, then maybe it would be best to give everyone some distance while all these young people focus on their education and personal goals for the next several months. You and I think a like. I simply have no patience threshold for middle school behavior. Maybe I should. But there it is. It's like these people never got out of 7th grade! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 Ok I admit, this made me LOL. And now I feel guilty because the whole thing is so wrong. I am actually starting to feel a bit of sympathy for the 25yo guy. Dollars to donuts she will offer the couple a place to live, with her. (Now y'all can jump over to the "plans for elder care" threads if you haven't already.) You might have missed the post where I mentioned that his parents have moved in with his grandparents and they have left him in their home. So yes it is already set up 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 What about the people outside the family? Have they voiced support of you? None of this was public. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 Uh. What the hecken. Who does that?! I don't do secrets or play these stupid games. I'd tell her daughter and my son, this behavior is not acceptable to me. There will be no drama middle school mean girl nonsense around here. If you can't do that, then maybe it would be best to give everyone some distance while all these young people focus on their education and personal goals for the next several months. Well. I'm not playing a game. I forwarded the message to my son and he forwarded it to his friend. I doubt seriously they will quit texting or being friends and I just have no inclination to attempt to force them to stop. It is just stupid at this point. I did reply to the aunts long stupid text to me and told her she is all over the map and that tyring to keep almost 18-year-olds from being friends is ridiculous. I then texted my sons friend and told her my son would not be back over to her house but that she is welcome here anytime and my husband and I are here. I just want it out there and not bunch of manipulation and crap where everybody knows half of what's going on . 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Well. I'm not playing a game. I forwarded the message to my son and he forwarded it to his friend. I doubt seriously they will quit texting or being friends and I just have no inclination to attempt to force them to stop. It is just stupid at this point. I did reply to the aunts long stupid text to me and told her she is all over the map and that tyring to keep almost 18-year-olds from being friends is ridiculous. I then texted my sons friend and told her my son would not be back over to her house but that she is welcome here anytime and my husband and I are here. I just want it out there and not bunch of manipulation and crap where everybody knows half of what's going on . No kidding. Those people are wackados. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 The only parallel situation I've seen, where the parents pushed the relationship so strongly, the man was eventually diagnosed with a mental illness that was getting worse with age. The age gap wasn't so big. I think the parents were controlling because the man needed someone in control and because they come from a religious culture where mental illness is often not acknowledged or treated they probably didn't realise or were in denial about what was going on. I do feel pretty sorry for them because I can see how hard it must have been but I'm very thankful the girl eventually woke up to what was going on and got the heck out of there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 OP, have you run this guy through the registered sex offender database? I hate to think this way, but honestly if he is predatory and prefers "young", they may think that marriage to a child might keep him out of trouble. I know that sounds disgusting, but there are whackaloons out there that think pervs can be fixed by a fast marriage to a youthful bride. After the Doug Wilson debacle of arranging a young, immature, sheltered girl to a recently out of prison child molester to help him master his temptation, I am getting to where I do not put it past some people to think this way. About the time you think you have heard it all... Hope it isn't so, but I think there is a chance. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 OP, have you run this guy through the registered sex offender database? I hate to think this way, but honestly if he is predatory and prefers "young", they may think that marriage to a child might keep him out of trouble. I know that sounds disgusting, but there are whackaloons out there that think pervs can be fixed by a fast marriage to a youthful bride. After the Doug Wilson debacle of arranging a young, immature, sheltered girl to a recently out of prison child molester to help him master his temptation, I am getting to where I do not put it past some people to think this way. About the time you think you have heard it all... Hope it isn't so, but I think there is a chance. No there is no chance. He has been in this small town his entire life except for 3 years volunteer work in another state. We know many people who were there with him and he came home right on schedule. I would not say he 'likes them young'. Never saw any indication of hat at all until now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 No kidding. Those people are wackados. Yep. She packed her daughter up tonight and left town. The level of insanity would be comical if her poor dd didn't have to suffer. She turns 18 in a few months. Less than 3. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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