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25 yo man interested in 15 year old girl.


Scarlett
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In an environment where early teens through married late 20's are routinely hanging around together, where entire families socialize together, and in which girls in their young teens are said to have completed high school (and thus, to some degree, ushered into adulthood) I do not find it surprising that a 15 year old and a 25 year old might find themselves attracted to each other.  I am not suggesting that there are not potential problems--I just think the likelihood of something like this happening is high in the situation described. 

 

Yeah, my dad used to live in a rural area where the social life was like this - there just weren't that many younger people, so the "youth were roughly 13 to 30.

 

It wasn't an especially liberal, conservative, or religious place.  But some of the friendships and romantic relationships seemed really odd to me as a city girl.  But when they all hung out all the time and enjoyed each other' company, of course all kinds of relationships happened, across those ages. 

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Yes, he is weird. No normal 25yo guy is interested in 14/15 yo girl. I totally agree with Cat. There is something wrong with him that you aren’t aware of.

 

it could be as innocuous as socially inept - (can still come across as "nice".).  that the parents are throwing them together makes me think less pervert, and more socially immature (why he'd be interested in a younger girl like his "emotional" age.)  and totally clueless.

 

that HIS parents invited her on a camping trip, is creepy.  That HER parents allowed her to go and for this to continue, is one more for the books of how they have cheated her.  (first being her education.)

 

I'm sorry, but I still believe that something has to be wrong with both him and his family.

 

What reasonable, rational, normal explanation could there possibly be for his parents to encourage this -- to the point where they took a 14yo girl on a camping trip with them so their then-24yo son would be able to spend time with her?

 

That's just plain perverted.

 

There has to be something about these two families that you don't know.

 

And I know they're saying the girl and the guy aren't spending time alone together... but they're also claiming the two of them aren't dating, which is obviously a lie, so I'm not sure the word of either set of parents is particularly credible. I find it hard to imagine that they are never alone together at all, especially when they have already been on a multi-night camping trip together. Sure, his parents were there, but how would anyone know if they let their son spend a little private time with the girl? It's not like anyone else was there to rat them out.

 

Frankly, I wouldn't put anything past parents who would encourage a romantic relationship between their adult son and what was initially a 14 year-old girl. And that's assuming it didn't start sooner than that. :eek:

 

something wrong with both sets of parents. her parents are more interested in marrying her off, than parents of a 15 year old girl should be.

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I'm pretty sure that in my state she would not be allowed to take classes at a public high school.

 

Not all states allow homeschoolers to just take a few classes in public schools (my state is one that does not -- electives that happen outside of school hours are allowed, but that's it)... you have to be enrolled full time with the PS to take classes. And I think that in my state once you've graduated from a program, you've graduated and that's it, no matter how lousy that program was.

No, I'm talking full time enrollment as a freshman in high school, not just a class here or there. It just boggles my mind that anyone could consider a 15-year-old educated enough or that a public school would turn her away.

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Ok first of all you all are cracking me up talking about her going on a camping trip. I don't have time to go back and read my posts but I thought I said a family trip. It was to NYC. No camping. He wasn't with them the majority of the trip. He was a stop on the trip. But still yes, I believe then that the mother of the man was setting things up and encouraging the relationship.

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No, I'm talking full time enrollment as a freshman in high school, not just a class here or there. It just boggles my mind that anyone could consider a 15-year-old educated enough or that a public school would turn her away.

I promise you she is more educated than the local public school could do for her.

 

It may not be up to the standards of many of you but she is educated more than many kids coming out of public school.

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I'm sorry, but I still believe that something has to be wrong with both him and his family.

 

What reasonable, rational, normal explanation could there possibly be for his parents to encourage this -- to the point where they took a 14yo girl on a camping trip with them so their then-24yo son would be able to spend time with her?

 

That's just plain perverted.

 

There has to be something about these two families that you don't know.

 

And I know they're saying the girl and the guy aren't spending time alone together... but they're also claiming the two of them aren't dating, which is obviously a lie, so I'm not sure the word of either set of parents is particularly credible. I find it hard to imagine that they are never alone together at all, especially when they have already been on a multi-night camping trip together. Sure, his parents were there, but how would anyone know if they let their son spend a little private time with the girl? It's not like anyone else was there to rat them out.

 

Frankly, I wouldn't put anything past parents who would encourage a romantic relationship between their adult son and what was initially a 14 year-old girl. And that's assuming it didn't start sooner than that. :eek:

 

I know exactly when it started. When he came home this spring. Until then she had her eyes on my son.

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Ok first of all you all are cracking me up talking about her going on a camping trip. I don't have time to go back and read my posts but I thought I said a family trip. It was to NYC. No camping. He wasn't with them the majority of the trip. He was a stop on the trip. But still yes, I believe then that the mother of the man was setting things up and encouraging the relationship.

:lol: Guilty as charged! I could have sworn you'd said camping trip -- you didn't, so I don't know where I got the idea, but I'm definitely the one who messed up on that! Sorry!!!

 

I still can't imagine a situation where the mother of a man in his mid-twenties would be encouraging him to have a romantic relationship with a girl who was only 14 at the time and is only 15 now. It seems like such a warped way of thinking. If anything, I would think his mom would have been trying to keep them apart, not lure the girl in! It's so bizarre.

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In an environment where early teens through married late 20's are routinely hanging around together, where entire families socialize together, and in which girls in their young teens are said to have completed high school (and thus, to some degree, ushered into adulthood) I do not find it surprising that a 15 year old and a 25 year old might find themselves attracted to each other. I am not suggesting that there are not potential problems--I just think the likelihood of something like this happening is high in the situation described.

You managed to make our life sound really weird. We are proud of the diversity of our friends....not just one age group of teens hanging out.

 

And you say it 'isn't surprising' but the kids and young adults are all very shocked and surprised. It is very outside the norm of what goes on.

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:lol: Guilty as charged! I could have sworn you'd said camping trip -- you didn't, so I don't know where I got the idea, but I'm definitely the one who messed up on that! Sorry!!!

 

I still can't imagine a situation where the mother of a man in his mid-twenties would be encouraging him to have a romantic relationship with a girl who was only 14 at the time and is only 15 now. It seems like such a warped way of thinking. If anything, I would think his mom would have been trying to keep them apart, not lure the girl in! It's so bizarre.

Yes. That is the part that is so weird to me. I have two teens...when they are 25 I would flip out if they liked a 15 year old.

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You managed to make our life sound really weird. We are proud of the diversity of our friends....not just one age group of teens hanging out.

 

And you say it 'isn't surprising' but the kids and young adults are all very shocked and surprised. It is very outside the norm of what goes on.

Personally, I figured it must be pretty far outside the norm or you wouldn't have bothered to start a thread about it. :)

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Yes. That is the part that is so weird to me. I have two teens...when they are 25 I would flip out if they liked a 15 year old.

Yes! I could understand if the 15yo had a crush on an older guy; I think that's probably pretty common. But the idea that he is not only interested in her too, but that both sets of parents are encouraging it... :eek: :eek: :eek:

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Ok first of all you all are cracking me up talking about her going on a camping trip. I don't have time to go back and read my posts but I thought I said a family trip. It was to NYC. No camping. He wasn't with them the majority of the trip. He was a stop on the trip. But still yes, I believe then that the mother of the man was setting things up and encouraging the relationship.

 

that his family invited her on any type of trip - and that her parents allowed it!  smh.

even if her parents were there, they are allowing the pushing them together.

e

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I don't think that the trip itself was weird. We have family friends who we would visit on a trip like that. And honestly it wouldn't even occur to me that my daughter would be linked with a 25 year old family friend. But she sounds like she's more "boy crazy " than my daughter who isn't interested at all in boys yet. And I can 100% tell you that if a 25 year old were to express interest in her she would say "ew". But of course many girls that age are interested in boys so this girl is not outside the norm. What does seem weird is if the mother or parents were trying to steer them together.

 

 

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I promise you she is more educated than the local public school could do for her.

It may not be up to the standards of many of you but she is educated more than many kids coming out of public school.

How bad ARE these local schools? Even the least ambitious kid around here who gets a diploma will spend a lot longer than a year completing the requirements. It would be physically impossible to do it in one year. It could be done in three years if you hustle. It's hard to fathom an entire school without a single teacher who could teach this girl something she missed or misunderstood during her self studies.

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That is exactly how nearly all ‘weird’ men are. How else would they get their prey?

 

Nearly every case of a ‘weird’ guy begins with, “We thought he was a good guy until/except for ___.â€

 

I think this whole situation is BS.

 

I grew up around this crap so I have little patience for normalizing it or talking about it like it’s not really a problem because he is a ‘nice’ guy. No. He isn’t.

 

Nice guys don’t hit on or outwardly show interest in 15 yr olds.

 

In my world (early 90s,) there were always older guys who would show interest in much younger girls... until they found out just how much younger they really were, when they would jump back in horror, embarrassed and disgusted by their mistake.

 

I grew up with a very tight knit group of families, and we teens "got away with" dating across what we considered a big age span, because our parents were all close, knew us well, and were around all the time.  But that span that we considered so big was actually 4 years, tops.  And NO ONE, kid or adult, was thinking about lifelong relationships. Every single girl and almost every boy was planning for and went to college.  None of us wound up together, though many of us remain close. WE WERE CHILDREN!

 

So, while I understand exceptions for close knit communities, my brain will never make the jump to pairing a child with an adult.

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I don't think that the trip itself was weird. We have family friends who we would visit on a trip like that. And honestly it wouldn't even occur to me that my daughter would be linked with a 25 year old family friend. But she sounds like she's more "boy crazy " than my daughter who isn't interested at all in boys yet. And I can 100% tell you that if a 25 year old were to express interest in her she would say "ew". But of course many girls that age are interested in boys so this girl is not outside the norm. What does seem weird is if the mother or parents were trying to steer them together.

 

 

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Right. The trip wasn't outside the norm. The niece and the girl were friends, the girl would get a chance to do a nice trip she wouldn't otherwise. And I didn't say anything to anyone....it was just a small thought in my brain. Then when they came back from the trip the mom was showing me pics she took and some of them were of the girl and she was gushing about her. That was strange. Jut her manner. Then I notice the girl flirting with him. Then I noticed the girl was always with the man's mother.....it just came more weird every day.

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How bad ARE these local schools? Even the least ambitious kid around here who gets a diploma will spend a lot longer than a year completing the requirements. It would be physically impossible to do it in one year. It could be done in three years if you hustle. It's hard to fathom an entire school without a single teacher who could teach this girl something she missed or misunderstood during her self studies.

Pretty bad. She took a couple of sciences and maths before she started the PF program. That is part of why she was able to get through it so quickly. Look it isn't my cup of tea either. I wouldn't let my son switch to it, but that part of this equation isn't the end of the world to me. She could easily go n and do something else. She really is only interested in child care. But now I don't know if she will even do that.

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that his family invited her on any type of trip - and that her parents allowed it! smh.

even if her parents were there, they are allowing the pushing them together.

e

I don't find the trip super weird. My 14 year old just traveled out of state with a friend and friend's mom. They met up with friend's aunt and cousins for a day. So...trip out of state with same gender friend and her family, met with friend's family member...that part just doesn't seem out of line.

 

It is what has happened since that is a problem.

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Wondering if the guy's mom always wanted a daughter, and that is why she is latching on to this girl?

 

 

Well, as the mom of an only child who is a male and step mom to two other males....I can say once in a while I would like to have a dd to go do something with.  I am very careful though to not latch on to a girl that might be interested in my son because I don't want to be seen as encouraging such a thing when he is too young....

 

In this woman's case I feel strongly she is working very hard to get her son settled here near her asap.  They have moved in with her mother because the mother needs help (this is questionable to me, but whatever) leaving their home for their son. It is also transparent it is just disturbing.

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I'm stunned that the man's parents are in on it. Inviting a 14 year old unrelated girl on a family vacation? Come to think of it, family vacations for the 20-something crowd seem rather rare.

 

It just makes me wonder if there's a problem with him. OR both sets of parents agree that this is a worthy marriage model.

 

I know a handful of cases with a wide age difference and youngish (but not quite child) bride, and in fully half of them, the man is now angry with the wife for having the temerity to, you know, get older. :001_rolleyes: How dare she disrespect him like that.

 

WHen I was single in my mid-twenties and could get the time off work, I went on vacation with my parents some of the time. (and I was in Washington and they were in South Carolina -- so I had to travel to them). Most of our vacations were to go to see my (younger) sister's family.  But this part does not so odd to me, given he is single.

 

I didn't start doing most of my vacations on my own until I got married (at age 30) and started doing stuff with my husband instead.

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I know exactly when it started. When he came home this spring. Until then she had her eyes on my son.

 

that she jumps from one boy to another, does she think she only has value if she is connected to a boy?  

that's not quite the same as 'boy crazy', but close.

 

I didn't understand boy crazy girls when I was a teen, and my girls weren't.

I admit I did nothing to dissuade my oldest from her "if you can hold an intelligent conversation, I'll talk to you." attitude.

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Family vacations with grown children aren't that weird or rare to me. And even when they are, it's not because they are grown, it's just that working life of many grown people makes it hard to plan that much time together.

 

No yeah, I don't get the boy crazy concept. So far none of my girls do either. Thank goodness.

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that she jumps from one boy to another, does she think she only has value if she is connected to a boy?  

that's not quite the same as 'boy crazy', but close.

 

I didn't understand boy crazy girls when I was a teen, and my girls weren't.

I admit I did nothing to dissuade my oldest from her "if you can hold an intelligent conversation, I'll talk to you." attitude.

 

 

She was only 10 when we moved here and she immediately had her eyes on my ds who was 12. It was very obvious.  But of course they were children.  My son didn't really notice how much she tried to get his attention for a couple of years.  Then she suddenly liked another boy, also my son's age.  At the time I felt she was game playing but again, she isn't my kid and they were all very young.  Her mom especially is very very blind to the girls games and how much she flirts.  I don't think the dad is blind.  I think we just felt it was inside the realm of normal for the age and we just were waiting for it to pass and keeping a good eye on all of them in the meantime.  

 

And she certainly has not been raised to think she only has value if attached to a boy.  I know that might be common in some conservative religions but it is NOT how our girls or boys are raised.  I never saw that kind of attitude out of her or out of her parents.  

 

My son has always been annoyed by her games.  She is a smart girl who plays dumb and my son can't abide by that.  LOL...... 

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Pretty bad. She took a couple of sciences and maths before she started the PF program. That is part of why she was able to get through it so quickly. Look it isn't my cup of tea either. I wouldn't let my son switch to it, but that part of this equation isn't the end of the world to me. She could easily go n and do something else. She really is only interested in child care. But now I don't know if she will even do that.

She could go for a AST in ECED at a community college. She can't go for the CDA yet because she would have to meet state licensing requirements and her age would preclude it. But doing an AST would give her a gen ed core which would be higher level than the PF program plus some specialized courses in child development, psychology, family dynamics, and the like. It would honestly be a useful program for anyone planning to eventually be a parent, and if she decided to go to college down the road would give her a much better foundation than she currently has. She can probably do most coursework online if there is no local school.

 

In most states, she couldn't be licensed until age 16, if she's in an approved training program, or 18 if not, so doing such a program would allow her to get a paid job as a child care assistant/aide sooner than she could otherwise do it (and if she started as an assistant at 18, she'd have to get the CDA or AST for most jobs).

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She could go for a AST in ECED at a community college. She can't go for the CDA yet because she would have to meet state licensing requirements and her age would preclude it. But doing an AST would give her a gen ed core which would be higher level than the PF program plus some specialized courses in child development, psychology, family dynamics, and the like. It would honestly be a useful program for anyone planning to eventually be a parent, and if she decided to go to college down the road would give her a much better foundation than she currently has. She can probably do most coursework online if there is no local school.

 

In most states, she couldn't be licensed until age 16, if she's in an approved training program, or 18 if not, so doing such a program would allow her to get a paid job as a child care assistant/aide sooner than she could otherwise do it (and if she started as an assistant at 18, she'd have to get the CDA or AST for most jobs).

 

That sounds like a really smart plan, given her interests.

 

Now if only the WTM aunties could take over her education, she'd be on the right path in no time! 😄😄😄

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You managed to make our life sound really weird. We are proud of the diversity of our friends....not just one age group of teens hanging out.

 

And you say it 'isn't surprising' but the kids and young adults are all very shocked and surprised. It is very outside the norm of what goes on.

I am sorry if I made your life sound weird--that was not my intent.  I do not necessarily think have a wide age range of friends is weird or unusual; in fact, I think it can often be healthy and I think we tend to age segment young people in our society more than what is healthy.  

 

Maybe the words "isn't surprising" wasn't the best choice--I don't think it would be norm that a 15 year old and a 25 year old would get involved in a romantic relationship, but I think it is well within the range of possibility for this to happen given the environment.  It is still an outlier, shocking, surprising event.  I think there is a difference when interest is sparked in this type of situation rather than a man seeing a 15 year old in a Starbucks coffee shop and starting to flirt with her.  

 

I also think if a 15-year old girl is graduated from high school, not enrolled in college, and not on the way to some specific job or trade training situations like this are more likely to occur.  Is she a child?  Is she grown up?  What is she supposed to be doing with her time and energy?  

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You say her parents support her doing other things besides having babies, but the time for that is NOW and it doesn't sound like they are really living that out. They should be helping to facilitate internships, volunteer opportunities, community college courses, etc. Something is going on with this girl. If she is truly "bright" (as you say), she will have a handful of interests and a desire to learn/grow in them. But it sounds like she is obsessed with marriage/motherhood only.

 

I was a hopeless romantic growing up, extremely obsessed with being a wife and mom some day. I was an "old soul" and certainly was far more objectively ready than my peers (responsible, seemingly mature, etc). However, my boyfriend lived several states away and I had friends, clubs I was a part of, skills I was mastering, etc. If all I had in my life was a boy, I could easily have wanted to marry at 16, and it would have been disastrous, not because he was a poor choice but because I was UNFORMED.I seemed mature but I had SO far to go in terms of becoming who I am. I have struggled enough with identity as it is, having married and become a mom in my early 20's. I can't imagine giving up the teen years and all the self-discovery/formation that happens then.

 

The situation is whack. I don't know if you are close to the parents but if you are, I'd appeal that she get some space from this guy. Go on a short-term mission trip (with no contact). Go stay with Grandma and work at XYZ for 6 months. Go get some freakin life experience and hope that her horizons are broadened enough to realize there is no rush. I am almost 100% sure she will regret this if she marries soon...

 

(And yes, I agree with those who feel something is "off" for a 25yo to be interested in a 15yo. That would actually raise alarms for me long-term... i.e., is he attracted to women or just adolescent girls?)

 

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She could go for a AST in ECED at a community college. She can't go for the CDA yet because she would have to meet state licensing requirements and her age would preclude it. But doing an AST would give her a gen ed core which would be higher level than the PF program plus some specialized courses in child development, psychology, family dynamics, and the like. It would honestly be a useful program for anyone planning to eventually be a parent, and if she decided to go to college down the road would give her a much better foundation than she currently has. She can probably do most coursework online if there is no local school.

 

In most states, she couldn't be licensed until age 16, if she's in an approved training program, or 18 if not, so doing such a program would allow her to get a paid job as a child care assistant/aide sooner than she could otherwise do it (and if she started as an assistant at 18, she'd have to get the CDA or AST for most jobs).

 

 

Those are good ideas.  But I am not going to be suggesting anything to them.  Her mother and I have a very strained relationship at the moment because of me speaking up back in the summer about the situation.  She strongly denied they were dating.  I don't know how to proceed in a relationship with someone who is either blind or untruthful. 

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You say her parents support her doing other things besides having babies, but the time for that is NOW and it doesn't sound like they are really living that out. They should be helping to facilitate internships, volunteer opportunities, community college courses, etc. Something is going on with this girl. If she is truly "bright" (as you say), she will have a handful of interests and a desire to learn/grow in them. But it sounds like she is obsessed with marriage/motherhood only.

 

I was a hopeless romantic growing up, extremely obsessed with being a wife and mom some day. I was an "old soul" and certainly was far more objectively ready than my peers (responsible, seemingly mature, etc). However, my boyfriend lived several states away and I had friends, clubs I was a part of, skills I was mastering, etc. If all I had in my life was a boy, I could easily have wanted to marry at 16, and it would have been disastrous, not because he was a poor choice but because I was UNFORMED.I seemed mature but I had SO far to go in terms of becoming who I am. I have struggled enough with identity as it is, having married and become a mom in my early 20's. I can't imagine giving up the teen years and all the self-discovery/formation that happens then.

 

The situation is whack. I don't know if you are close to the parents but if you are, I'd appeal that she get some space from this guy. Go on a short-term mission trip (with no contact). Go stay with Grandma and work at XYZ for 6 months. Go get some freakin life experience and hope that her horizons are broadened enough to realize there is no rush. I am almost 100% sure she will regret this if she marries soon...

 

(And yes, I agree with those who feel something is "off" for a 25yo to be interested in a 15yo. That would actually raise alarms for me long-term... i.e., is he attracted to women or just adolescent girls?)

 

 

She is quite busy.  She does a lot of volunteering.  And I found out last night she is working in the same office where her dad works. 

 

And for all I know they are setting up some more schooling for her.  A lot of programs won't accept her until she is 18.  I am not really on good terms with them currently so who knows what is going on behind the scenes.  

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We are living in a rural area right now and I have a 7th grader attending public school.

 

I can agree that based on what we are seeing with 7th grade classmates, there are going to be some classmates who don't graduate with much.  Some classmates are very, very behind in 7th grade. 

 

But I think, with seeing a range of kids, even though YES there are some students I agree 100% I don't think they are going to have an adequately "high school" education just looking at where they are in 7th grade and what the response is (aka -- they are just falling further behind)....

 

Well, what about the better students locally?  I can see there being some places where really they just didn't have anything adequate.  I can see that is possible.

 

But I think there are a lot more places where the motivated students can do much, much better than the behind, unmotivated students, and I think it is pretty cheap to compare to the worst of the high school graduates, if there are some who do much better. 

 

I am appalled, and my son is appalled, at how behind some of his classmates are here.  We moved from another state, and no kids were this far behind -- or, if a few kids were this behind, they were definitely receiving extra help! 

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Perhaps this is why she's not proceeding to higher level studies. Doesn't sound like her diploma would be recognized as legit by a state school, she's too young to register for CC as an independent adult, and since she's graduated, she doesn't qualify as a dual enrollment student.

 

Not sending this guy packing isn't the first mistake of these parents. That is preceeded by shortchanging their daughter's education. I am sad for her.

She can register for CC as an independent adult. With a high school diploma, she could walk in with the diploma, take the COMPASS, and be fine. She could apply for financial aid since she's a high school graduate. The barrier would be paying for whatever is not covered by financial aid (or paying for it completely if the parents would not cooperate in getting financial aid). If the local high schools are really poor, she probably won't be the only 15-16 yr old there-it's a pretty common way to get some "high school plus" coursework for kids who are running out of other options but aren't ready to go away to college or enter the workforce yet.

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I'm glad you mentioned your concern to the mom!  I think it DOES matter. 

 

We have a situation in my family where my FIL was totally fine with my little BIL getting a GED instead of a high school diploma. 

 

But my little BIL was not headed for community college or college, and so he was unlikely to get another higher-level diploma.... and he was interested in the military, which does prefer a high school diploma to a GED (I think this would be very different for homeschoolers ----- I am talking about a situation where someone was going to just drop out of high school and complete a GED). 

 

Anyway -- it was very strained for a few months, because my FIL was very offended, but he ended up taking it into consideration, and my little BIL did get a high school diploma and he has joined the military now. 

 

So anyway -- I think it is worth saying something. 

 

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She can register for CC as an independent adult. With a high school diploma, she could walk in with the diploma, take the COMPASS, and be fine. She could apply for financial aid since she's a high school graduate. The barrier would be paying for whatever is not covered by financial aid (or paying for it completely if the parents would not cooperate in getting financial aid). If the local high schools are really poor, she probably won't be the only 15-16 yr old there-it's a pretty common way to get some "high school plus" coursework for kids who are running out of other options but aren't ready to go away to college or enter the workforce yet.

 

 

The closest CC is about 45 minutes away.  No way that is going to happen until she can drive.  Which will be when she turns 16 next year. 

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The closest CC is about 45 minutes away. No way that is going to happen until she can drive. Which will be when she turns 16 next year.

Most CC's have online classes, or she could do courses somewhere like Clovis Community College (which doesn't charge out of state tuition for online) this year. The bottom line is that she doesn't have to spin her wheels this year-she could easily start classes in January.

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Most CC's have online classes, or she could do courses somewhere like Clovis Community College (which doesn't charge out of state tuition for online) this year. The bottom line is that she doesn't have to spin her wheels this year-she could easily start classes in January.

 

 

I know they were talking about that.  Who knows though.  I suspect the focus for her is all about the 25 year old.

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Some girls are just interested in boys.

 

I don't think that's something to be ashamed of, or makes them shallow or silly.  They're just different.

 

 

Right.  I always expected she would marry young.  I was thinking 18 though.  Never dreamed before that and to an adult while she is still a child.  

Edited by A Red Color
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For those viewing him as a pedophile of some sort that doesn't compute; I was regularly mistaken for an adult at age 14, even for the mother of my 5 year old sister. People frequently assumed I was older than my 16 year old brother.

 

A fifteen year old girl can look physically like an adult, and men who are attracted only to physically adult looking women are by definition not pedophiles.

 

 

Doesn't mean the dude doesn't have poor judgment and need to have the real adults in his life (seemingly not his parents or hers) set him straight about appropriate and inappropriate relationships.

Edited by maize
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For those viewing him as a pedophile of some sort that doesn't compute; I was regularly mistaken for an adult at age 14, even for the mother of my 5 year old sister. People frequently assumed I was older than my 16 year old brother.

 

A fifteen year old girl can look physically like an adult, and men who are attracted only to physically adult looking women are by definition not pedophiles.

 

 

Doesn't mean the dude doesn't have poor judgment and needs to have the real adults in his life (seemingly not his parents or hers) set him straight about appropriate and inappropriate relationships.

 

 

His cousin was calling him one to his face.  It apparently really upset him to be called that.  The cousin was trying to make a point that 'HEY DUDE! She is too young for you!'   The cousin and all of us do recognize that he doesn't fit the definition of a pedophile.  

 

I am not in the camp of 'there is something bad wrong with him.'  I am more with you that he has poor judgment, he is listening to his parents, the girls parents are not telling him to back away.....just a perfect storm of 6 people making poor choices.

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For those viewing him as a pedophile of some sort that doesn't compute; I was regularly mistaken for an adult at age 14, even for the mother of my 5 year old sister. People frequently assumed I was older than my 16 year old brother.

 

A fifteen year old girl can look physically like an adult, and men who are attracted only to physically adult looking women are by definition not pedophiles.

 

 

Doesn't mean the dude doesn't have poor judgment and needs to have the real adults in his life (seemingly not his parents or hers) set him straight about appropriate and inappropriate relationships.

 

Yeah, I'm not sure I quite get this aspect of peoples objections.

 

Being physically attracted to a fertile female is not odd, in terms of nature - really pretty much the opposite.  It's what you would expect.  A lot of 15 year olds are at their adult height, and look pretty much the same way they will at 20.

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Yeah, I'm not sure I quite get this aspect of peoples objections.

 

Being physically attracted to a fertile female is not odd, in terms of nature - really pretty much the opposite.  It's what you would expect.  A lot of 15 year olds are at their adult height, and look pretty much the same way they will at 20.

 

 

She has looked fully grown since she was 12.  Seriously.  

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Yeah, I'm not sure I quite get this aspect of peoples objections.

 

Being physically attracted to a fertile female is not odd, in terms of nature - really pretty much the opposite.  It's what you would expect.  A lot of 15 year olds are at their adult height, and look pretty much the same way they will at 20.

 

I know that I'm preaching to the choir here, but her physical maturity isn't the issue.  It's her emotional maturity.  But I know that you know that.  I'm just piggy backing on what you said to make an additional point. 

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