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9 year old can't read, need cheap/free suggestions


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Here is the situation.

 

Good friend, who homeschooled her own children until they were middle/high school (her kids are now in college), has a friend/neighbor she is trying to help.

 

Her friend has a 9 year old daughter, is homeschooling, won't send her child to school, but went through a divorce and now is trying to work part time, stay afloat, etc....but isn't doing much direct instruction with her daughter.  

 

My friend has started taking her in a couple of hours a week and started tutoring (mom said whatever help she can give would be great.)

 

What my friend is noticing is that this 9 year old can't read.  She can't really write either.  She talked to me about it last night and said she is considering working with her more than a couple of hours a week but isn't sure what to use.

 

My friend can't spend a lot of money for this child and the mom of the child doesn't have money.  

 

I suggested Barton, but I know it is pricey.  

 

Any cheap or free suggestions?  Anything the library might offer?  Anything O-G online?  Anything on Khan?  

 

 

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I hate to say this, but I would seriously look into testing for this child. When my son couldn't read or write at age 8, we tested him and learned of his intellectual disability. People in the mild range (as my son is) will come across as "normal" until about that age, then it starts to peek out first in the inability to read and write. From that age onward, the discrepancy gets wider and wider.

 

For my son, we use Stevenson Reading. https://www.stevensonlearning.com/stevenson-reading/

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What does she mean by 'can't'?  Does she slowly sound out with phonics?  Have no idea what to do with print? Has been haphazardly taught and doesn't have the skills?  Mixes up basic phonetic sounds?

 

If you can get your friend to be more elaborate about the problem I'm sure the responses will be more tailored to that.

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I would start with Phonics Pathways. Our library has a copy, and if it works it's inexpensive to purchase. It sounds like the family had had a rough time, so I would start with the assumption that there is a poor foundation rather than a learning disability.

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Hoenstly, I don't know enough info to comment.  It was a brief conversation because others were around, but she said she tried a few different books, Abeka K (an old book she had from her own kids) and The Giving Tree and the girl could barely sound things out and would give up very easily.  

 

She is wondering if the girl just hasn't been taught, although I did mention a possible LD.  No way to know at the moment.

 

It doesn't sound like the girl will be tested since the mom doesn't have any money.   My friend actually did mention school to them as a possibility, but that was shot down immediately, so she didn't push it.

 

Thank you!

 

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If it isn't a full on learning disability, just lack of instruction (or even if it's a mild disability), we had a lot of success with IEW's PAL program (I think it's Primary Art of Language...). Now, my son had to still move to Barton from there, but after a couple of years of other assorted O-G programs, that was the one that helped him move from individual letter sounds to actually being able to fluently put them together into words/read them as words. 

 

 

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I find the situation disturbing. Presuming the info is accurate, the situation is that a girl needs help, but the mother can't spend much time with her and finances are difficult. Whether the girl can't read because of lack of instruction or because of a disability, the result is disturbing. It sounds as though the girl is at risk for falling further behind, despite the best efforts of your friend.

 

I understand the parent is a friend of a friend, but do you have any idea why the parent does not want to send the child to school. Is the father in the picture at all?

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Your friend could start by administering the Barton pre-test. If her student passes the pre-test, maybe check out Recipe for Reading.

 

For testing, maybe call around and discover if there is a Scottish Rite Learning Center nearby. They sometimes offer free or low cost dyslexia screening.

Edited by Heathermomster
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I agree with checking vision, at a developmental optometrist.

 

Depending on the location, testing might be accessible through the schools without putting the girl in school, so the mom should be able to pursue testing without challenging her idea of putting the child in school.

 

Sent from my ONEPLUS A5000 using Tapatalk

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I find the situation disturbing. Presuming the info is accurate, the situation is that a girl needs help, but the mother can't spend much time with her and finances are difficult. Whether the girl can't read because of lack of instruction or because of a disability, the result is disturbing. It sounds as though the girl is at risk for falling further behind, despite the best efforts of your friend.

 

I understand the parent is a friend of a friend, but do you have any idea why the parent does not want to send the child to school. Is the father in the picture at all?

 

I got the feeling they were one of those "anti-PS" types.  I don't know though.  My friend thinks she should be in school, but feels if she pushes it too hard the mom may tell her not to spend time with her and she really wants to help.

 

I don't know about the father, it was too brief of a conversation.  

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I will also second Phonics Pathways for this young lady.  If she struggles using this, then at that point I would encourage vision screening (she may be on Medicaid if she is low income which would cover the cost).  If her testing turned out normal for vision, then I would encourage her to have the public school evaluate for learning disabilities, only so she will know the struggle she is dealing with, as that is how you will know how to properly help her. 

 

I understand the nervousness of dealing with the public school as homeschoolers, but it has been a blessing in our home for speech therapy services for my son.  I am so thankful that we had family speak up and agree that I should have him tested, as it is definitely a blessing to work with the fabulous speech therapist who really cares about our son. 

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I would not use The Giving Tree as a starting place for a child that has had no systematic instruction (which sounds like is the case here).  I realize that she might have used it as a way to see how well the child could read but it has lots of sight words etc. 

 

I was thinking the same thing but she also used her K Abeka books, which are better for phonics, etc...She only has a couple of them though.

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I will also second Phonics Pathways for this young lady.  If she struggles using this, then at that point I would encourage vision screening (she may be on Medicaid if she is low income which would cover the cost).  If her testing turned out normal for vision, then I would encourage her to have the public school evaluate for learning disabilities, only so she will know the struggle she is dealing with, as that is how you will know how to properly help her. 

 

I understand the nervousness of dealing with the public school as homeschoolers, but it has been a blessing in our home for speech therapy services for my son.  I am so thankful that we had family speak up and agree that I should have him tested, as it is definitely a blessing to work with the fabulous speech therapist who really cares about our son. 

 

Yeah, but I don't know this person and my friend feels she can't say too much about it.  My friend homeschooled until middle/high and then sent her kids to PS and was very happy with their local schools, but this woman doesn't seem to want to hear it.

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A nearby college has a Master of Education program, and students in their program offer free OG tutoring as a way to gain experience and practicum hours. We never did it (scheduling issues) but others I know highly recommended it. Are there any such programs near you?  A department chair might be able to offer advice.

 

My ds10 has had great success with Barton, which I know you mentioned would be too expensive.... but we got ours (all levels) free from a veteran homeschooler and certified Barton tutor.  It can't hurt to look into that possibility, even if you can only get/borrow the first couple of levels.  Same goes for other OG spin-offs. 

 

We've also had success with the Sound Foundations spelling program (Apples and Pears, designed for those with dyslexia, though all my kids like it). It incorporates dictation and handwriting, so it may be a gentle way to ease into both reading and writing via spelling.  Though we haven't used their reading program (Dancing Bears), you could check for reviews on the forums.  

 

Spalding, along with a set of phonogram cards, would be cheap; it would just require more teacher prep. 

 

And if she is truly not reading/blending much at all, but doesn't present with an LD, then Phonics Pathways or 100EZ are cheap and easy to implement.  

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Whatever formal programs your friend chooses to use, it is always important to provide lots of reading together, using books where the reader already knows 90-95% of the words.  If money is short and limited-vocabulary books are not easily available from the library, then teacher (and perhaps student) can write their own.  It doesn't have to be fancy - a few sheets of paper folded in half and stapled together are all that is needed.  And the books don't need to be literary masterpieces.  

Consider also using flash cards or magnetic words to mix-and-match into sentences.  Again, nothing fancy is needed - just paper and pencil, perhaps using stick-figure type pictures on some cards.  Here are some ideas about this approach.

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The situation is actually fairly common among unschooling circles, so I'll play devil's advocate if nobody else feels like it.

 

If the child can't read, then OPGTR or even Bob Books might be at the library; they are at mine and I'm not in a major city.

 

If the child can't find anything she wants to read badly enough to be worth the effort, then I'd try a variety of things including comic books and graphic novels, books written for remedial and ESL reading classes, "twaddle" like Babysitter's Club or Goosebumps that you would normally want to restrict for your own nine year old, non-fiction about a personal interest such as pets or hobbies, etc.

 

Even though my own tutored child was thirteen, he still liked to curl up on the couch to read just like a six year old when we worked on reading. Your friend's tutored child isn't going to have the layers of shame and discouragement from PS that my tutored child did, but she is still learning a new skill and would appreciate the emotional support and the cozy environment.

 

Reluctant and late readers get a "free pass" from prompt bedtimes, mealtimes, or school start times in my home. A kid with a nose in a book simply doesn't get disturbed if I know they are struggling with reading or finding enjoyable reading matter.

 

There aren't any unschooling advocates these days I'm comfortable linking to other than David Albert and Wendy Prieznitz so here's a two for one:

 

http://www.lifelearningmagazine.com/1404/homeschooling-and-the-average-giraffe.htm

 

It sounds like the nine year old has a lot of stress in her life right now. Being able to read fluently could reduce that stress immensely if it does not become a source of even more stress. For perspective, my own nine year old has a "neurotypical" diagnosis and has been active on several internet communities for over a year but is just now figuring out that curling up with Harry Potter for several hours is a wonderful way to spend an afternoon.

Edited by Guest
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I wouldn't immediately jump to the conclusion that it is a learning disability (although that is certainly a possibility that shouldn't be completely ignored). It sounds like the mother is in a stressful season of life, and probably has been for quite some time. The education she has provided her child has probably suffered as a result of the stress of a divorce, financial strain, etc. So it could be that the child has simply never been taught in a systematic way how to read. I would start any lessons or tutoring with that assumption, using any phonics program. OPGTTR isn't very expensive and is easy to implement and accelerate.

 

I would encourage your friend to spend her time with the child exposing her to wonderful literature. Do a little bit of formal reading lessons but then spend lots and lots of time reading to the child. Maybe she could get permission from the parent to take a weekly trip to the library with the child. That may not be happening if the mother is in survival mode. I would introduce the child to audiobooks so that she could listen to quality books at home even if an adult isn't available to read aloud.

 

Finally, it is the parent's decision how she chooses to educate her child, and your friend needs to respect her authority as the parent, even if she disagrees with the decisions made. It sounds like she is a concerned friend, but she needs to keep in mind that her options for what she can do for the child are going to be more limited than if she were the parent. That's the reality of the situation even if it is less than ideal.

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Here is the situation.

 

Good friend, who homeschooled her own children until they were middle/high school (her kids are now in college), has a friend/neighbor she is trying to help.

 

Her friend has a 9 year old daughter, is homeschooling, won't send her child to school, but went through a divorce and now is trying to work part time, stay afloat, etc....but isn't doing much direct instruction with her daughter.  

 

My friend has started taking her in a couple of hours a week and started tutoring (mom said whatever help she can give would be great.)

 

What my friend is noticing is that this 9 year old can't read.  She can't really write either.  She talked to me about it last night and said she is considering working with her more than a couple of hours a week but isn't sure what to use.

 

My friend can't spend a lot of money for this child and the mom of the child doesn't have money.  

 

I suggested Barton, but I know it is pricey.  

 

Any cheap or free suggestions?  Anything the library might offer?  Anything O-G online?  Anything on Khan?  

 

 

1) suggest you also post on learning challenges if you have not

 

2) a poster on here named, I think, ElizabethB, has some free online reading materials

 

3) figuring out if the child has dyslexia or another challenge versus having not learned due to lack of instructions could be important

 

4) if she has dyslexia than a program suited to that such as High Noon that we used (and is less costly than Barton, but still a lot more pricey than free), or Barton that many others here use, or some other such, is almost certainly going to be needed.  

 

5) some places may have some free programs via Scottish Rite or a University or accessible via a public school even if the child is not there full time.

 

6) possibly some things could be found via interlibrary loans.

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The situation is actually fairly common among unschooling circles, so I'll play devil's advocate if nobody else feels like it.

 

If the child can't read, then OPGTR or even Bob Books might be at the library; they are at mine and I'm not in a major city.

 

If the child can't find anything she wants to read badly enough to be worth the effort, then I'd try a variety of things including comic books and graphic novels, books written for remedial and ESL reading classes, "twaddle" like Babysitter's Club or Goosebumps that you would normally want to restrict for your own nine year old, non-fiction about a personal interest such as pets or hobbies, etc.

 

Even though my own tutored child was thirteen, he still liked to curl up on the couch to read just like a six year old when we worked on reading. Your friend's tutored child isn't going to have the layers of shame and discouragement from PS that my tutored child did, but she is still learning a new skill and would appreciate the emotional support and the cozy environment.

 

Reluctant and late readers get a "free pass" from prompt bedtimes, mealtimes, or school start times in my home. A kid with a nose in a book simply doesn't get disturbed if I know they are struggling with reading or finding enjoyable reading matter.

 

There aren't any unschooling advocates these days I'm comfortable linking to other than David Albert and Wendy Prieznitz so here's a two for one:

 

http://www.lifelearningmagazine.com/1404/homeschooling-and-the-average-giraffe.htm

 

It sounds like the nine year old has a lot of stress in her life right now. Being able to read fluently could reduce that stress immensely if it does not become a source of even more stress. For perspective, my own nine year old has a "neurotypical" diagnosis and has been active on several internet communities for over a year but is just now figuring out that curling up with Harry Potter for several hours is a wonderful way to spend an afternoon.

 

Oh!  You know, I may have some Bob Books in the basement.  I need to go look.  Thanks for mentioning them.

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I wouldn't immediately jump to the conclusion that it is a learning disability (although that is certainly a possibility that shouldn't be completely ignored). It sounds like the mother is in a stressful season of life, and probably has been for quite some time. The education she has provided her child has probably suffered as a result of the stress of a divorce, financial strain, etc. So it could be that the child has simply never been taught in a systematic way how to read. I would start any lessons or tutoring with that assumption, using any phonics program. OPGTTR isn't very expensive and is easy to implement and accelerate.

 

I would encourage your friend to spend her time with the child exposing her to wonderful literature. Do a little bit of formal reading lessons but then spend lots and lots of time reading to the child. Maybe she could get permission from the parent to take a weekly trip to the library with the child. That may not be happening if the mother is in survival mode. I would introduce the child to audiobooks so that she could listen to quality books at home even if an adult isn't available to read aloud.

 

Finally, it is the parent's decision how she chooses to educate her child, and your friend needs to respect her authority as the parent, even if she disagrees with the decisions made. It sounds like she is a concerned friend, but she needs to keep in mind that her options for what she can do for the child are going to be more limited than if she were the parent. That's the reality of the situation even if it is less than ideal.

 

 

The parent DID say she was open to whatever help my friend was willing to give.  I didn't ask what the mother's opinion of the situation was overall, but my friend is respectful and I can't imagine her stepping on toes or forcing things.  

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On her own she can watch my online phonics lessons, 1/2 at a time for any over 20 minutes.  These are just watch and learn.

 

http://www.thephonicspage.org/Phonics%20Lsns/phonicslsnslinks.html

 

Interactive, fastest way to catch up a student, my syllables program, watch the videos and do the readings and exercises:

 

http://www.thephonicspage.org/On%20Reading/syllablesspellsu.html

 

If it is ABT (Ain't Been Taught) and there is no underlying disability, that is what I would recommend.  If there is a phonemic awareness or vision problem, there are other things to do first.  Easy test to rule out phonemic awareness:

 

https://www.spelfabet.com.au/2013/02/free-phonological-awareness-test/

 

If she is dyslexic, she will need an OG reading program, cheapest OG method is to use Recipe for Reading from the white board, all you need is the manual, the price fluctuates between $20 and $30 and is currently around $20:

 

https://www.amazon.com/Recipe-Reading-Revised-Expanded-Traub/dp/0838805051/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1506897281&sr=8-1&keywords=recipe+for+reading

 

Both my links use syllables which are helpful for students with dyslexia, all my students with dyslexia have made some progress with the help of syllables and nonsense words but needed to complete an OG phonics program in addition to my lessons.

 

Basic phonics to watch on her own once she has done the firehose method of learning it all with my online lessons:

 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHnIVm9OG9zIdtOtUHAtoUw

 

 

 

Edited by ElizabethB
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My blending page and blending video explain why blending is hard. You are changing your brain as you learn to read and learn to blend, I would offer that as explanation and encouragement. There was in interesting study where they saw the same types of changes in adult illiterates and children learning to read doing before and after brain scans, I will look for it and add the study.

 

http://www.thephonicspage.org/On%20Reading/blendingwords.html

 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6Q4KTyqpg5o

 

http://www.unicog.org/publications/Dehaene_Cohen_Morais_Kolinsky_IlliteratetoliterateChangesinducedbyreadingacquisitionNa%20ReviewsNeuroscience2015.pdf

 

If she struggles with blending, Word Mastery, free to print from Don Potter, is laid out in the order of easiest sounds to blend.

 

Otherwise I use Phonics Pathways and Webster’s Speller and Blend Phonics with my remedial students.

 

Stevenson Language is OG based and designed for a lower IQ student or someone who needs a lot of memory aids to remember sounds and words.

Edited by ElizabethB
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On her own she can watch my online phonics lessons, 1/2 at a time for any over 20 minutes.  These are just watch and learn.

 

http://www.thephonicspage.org/Phonics%20Lsns/phonicslsnslinks.html

 

Interactive, fastest way to catch up a student, my syllables program, watch the videos and do the readings and exercises:

 

http://www.thephonicspage.org/On%20Reading/syllablesspellsu.html

 

If it is ABT (Ain't Been Taught) and there is no underlying disability, that is what I would recommend.  If there is a phonemic awareness or vision problem, there are other things to do first.  Easy test to rule out phonemic awareness:

 

https://www.spelfabet.com.au/2013/02/free-phonological-awareness-test/

 

If she is dyslexic, she will need an OG reading program, cheapest OG method is to use Recipe for Reading from the white board, all you need is the manual, the price fluctuates between $20 and $30 and is currently around $20:

 

https://www.amazon.com/Recipe-Reading-Revised-Expanded-Traub/dp/0838805051/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1506897281&sr=8-1&keywords=recipe+for+reading

 

Both my links use syllables which are helpful for students with dyslexia, all my students with dyslexia have made some progress with the help of syllables and nonsense words but needed to complete an OG phonics program in addition to my lessons.

 

Basic phonics to watch on her own once she has done the firehose method of learning it all with my online lessons:

 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHnIVm9OG9zIdtOtUHAtoUw

 

Great.  She can start here since she doesn't have to order or go anywhere to find anything.

 

Did you create them?

 

THANK YOU!,

 

Dawn

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Yeah, but I don't know this person and my friend feels she can't say too much about it.  My friend homeschooled until middle/high and then sent her kids to PS and was very happy with their local schools, but this woman doesn't seem to want to hear it.

 

I was thinking that nothing would be said about testing until she had gained a rapport with her, by working with her daughter for a length of time.  Hopefully Phonics Pathways with some early readers is all she would need and nothing further would need to be done-KWIM, but if she did show signs of a disability she would at that point have a place in the discussion, as her personal tutor.  The mom may even become less defensive about the public school if she knew that what she could do for her daughter she did (allowing her to be tutored), and that the public school wouldn't be looking down on her-KWIM.  If she is on Medicaid she may not even need to use the public school, but could go through her pediatrician for referrals to appropriate testing.  May God bless this situation.

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Great. She can start here since she doesn't have to order or go anywhere to find anything.

 

Did you create them?

 

THANK YOU!,

 

Dawn

Yes, I created the lessons. I have tutored hundreds of remedial students over the last 23 years and eventually designed my own lessons. Older remedial students are capable of working on 2+ syllable words from day one, so you can be working multi syllable words while covering basic phonics gaps. I also found that progress goes a lot faster with nonsense words for my students coming out of public schools, they help them overcome the guessing habit.

 

Working on several levels of things at once makes the remediation process much faster.

 

You’re welcome! I hope your friend finds something that will work.

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We are using ProgressivePhonics.com , which is free, and has both reading and handwriting.  

 

My 9 year old struggles with reading too.  Turns out he needed reading glasses (something to look into with your friend's daughter...though I know that's a problem affording that too, but if she has insurance it might not be).   My son also shows some signs of dyslexia too...and if testing shows he has it I will get him a reading program specifically designed for that.  I looked into Barton but it is so expensive.  I may try All About Reading, which also uses Orton Gillingham and which some with dyslexia find useful, but it is not as expensive as Barton.

 

He is actually doing fairly well with the Progressive Phonics, though...so much better now that we've gotten the glasses.  Someone suggested practicing the phonics with nonsense words as well so I have added that with good results.    With the reading glasses he doesn't tire out so quickly.  

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Rod and staff phonics workbooks are cheep, and you can use them as review of phonics learned with another program.

 

 

For a free suppliment I recommend studyladder. It is online, but has printables to work through. In the The free version you can only do I think 3 pages a day, the paid version gives full access. It is something that the child could possibly do on her own.

 

You can get free copies of all the I see Sam books online, but you have to print them out straight away as the free access is only for a few weeks.

 

The absolutely biggest help for my slow to read children was them having to communicate online with others , for ds13 this is through playing a online game with another homeschoolers. All of a sudden he had a meaningful to himreason to read and write.

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http://marriottmd.com/sam/

 

Here are PDF files of the I see Sam books. Look at the other websites above on how to use the books to teach reading. Basically you introduce the sounds in the book (I as the word, /s/, /ee/ (long sound...keep the 2 ee together) and /m/) and you are ready for book 1.

 

I just put the sounds on small letter tiles and we blended the words. S + ee made see, s a m made Sam and the word I.

 

The websites also have directions on using a notched 3*5 card to help with eye tracking and blending left to right.

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Free, and very good, but somewhat time-consuming to sift through because they are intended for classroom use: the Core Knowledge Skills materials contain readers, worksheets, and lesson plans.

 

It is good of your friend to help. From the limited information we have, I'd imagine she is giving that girl more than just tutoring, but also another warm, caring adult presence at a time when it really makes a difference.

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I use John Arena's Word Identification Scale, but I don't see a free copy online and there might be copyright issues if I scanned it for you.

 

Anything quick and informal would probably do the trick. In a pinch, I've used poetry to figure out if I have a reluctant reader or a kid who needs more phonics instruction.

 

If she can read, she can escape into the world of fiction when she needs a break from real life and use poetry and metaphor to understand her world as well as being able to self-teach. I would strongly advise your friend to teach reading as a life skill and a source of enjoyment rather than merely as an academic deficiency.

 

ElizabethB, I'll check out your work and get back to you if I wind up using it with an adult student later on in the year. Thank you for making this resource available for free.

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If she is, or when she gets to, a point where she can read easy books, a good children's librarian may be helpful in finding books and series  of books that are at the right level for her and will engage her to keep her reading.  Also a library may have audio books and documentaries that she can check out and learn from.

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Ooh, does your library have those playaways? My kids love listening to a book that's above their reading level (but that they're motivated to read for content) while reading it. The nice thing is that we don't have to spend our own money on it, like if we did Amazon's whispersync, but we just get matching books and audio (often via hoopla) from the library, and they listen to it.

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I don't think this mother has the right to ruin her daughter's life. If the mother isn't providing adequate instruction, then her daughter has the fundamental right to an education. I'm sure your friend means well, but she needs to report this. If she doesn't then she is part of the problem. Someone needs to stand up for the child.

Edited by Faithful_Steward
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If there is a university speech & language clinic nearby, they typically offer sliding scale fees. Graduate students would do the evaluation but under the supervision of their professor. I would want to see a comprehensive language test like the CELF (with the reading comprehension subtest), the CTOPP, and the OWLS.

 

Maybe it's just mediocre instruction but a 9 y.o. non-reader really ought to be evaluated for language-based LD's.

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For testing, maybe call around and discover if there is a Scottish Rite Learning Center nearby. They sometimes offer free or low cost dyslexia screening.

 

Our local Scottish Rite requires a copy of the child's current IEP and will only serve those who have a primary disability of Specific Language Impairment or Specific Learning Disability-Reading listed on that IEP. They turned down my child despite her documented speech & language disorder and being 2 grades behind in reading.

 

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I don't think this mother has the right to ruin her daughter's life. If the mother isn't providing adequate instruction, then her daughter has the fundamental right to an education. I'm sure your friend means well, but she needs to report this. If she doesn't then she is part of the problem. Someone needs to stand up for the child.

 

There is something we are missing.  The girl is signed up for online schooling through the state and is doing something......but we seem to not have the full story.  So, there is an actual teacher involved on the other end of the computer, and maybe that teacher has said something, I am not sure.

 

They are in SC, I am in NC, so I know the rules are a bit different.  

 

But like I said, the conversation was quite brief and I was asked for suggestions, but I am sure I will find out more as time goes on.

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There is something we are missing. The girl is signed up for online schooling through the state and is doing something......but we seem to not have the full story. So, there is an actual teacher involved on the other end of the computer, and maybe that teacher has said something, I am not sure.

 

They are in SC, I am in NC, so I know the rules are a bit different.

 

But like I said, the conversation was quite brief and I was asked for suggestions, but I am sure I will find out more as time goes on.

Good! That is a completely different situation! It will be much easier for her to get testing if she has a paper trail and RTI data. I do think she needs testing and help, though. It is time to start jumping through hoops.

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Our local Scottish Rite requires a copy of the child's current IEP and will only serve those who have a primary disability of Specific Language Impairment or Specific Learning Disability-Reading listed on that IEP. They turned down my child despite her documented speech & language disorder and being 2 grades behind in reading.

 

That's too bad. My local Scottish Rite tested DS for free, and he attended a private school with no prior documented issues. The testing saved us $300.

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I don't think this mother has the right to ruin her daughter's life. If the mother isn't providing adequate instruction, then her daughter has the fundamental right to an education. I'm sure your friend means well, but she needs to report this. If she doesn't then she is part of the problem. Someone needs to stand up for the child.

 

We are dealing with a very small amount of third hand information. This mother seems to understand she is not providing enough and is asking for help. You would dump more on her already full plate by reporting her?

 

We don't know anything about the situation except that this mom has just been through a divorce and is now asking for help. It is possible the reason she divorced her ex-husband has something to do with the reason why adequate instruction wasn't provided before and now that she isn't under his control anymore, she is reaching out for help, but the answer she should be given is to make her send her child to school against her will because her daughter can't read? That sounds to me like a good way to make her not ever reach out and ask for help again.

 

If the mother didn't see a problem with the situation at all, my opinion might be different but the fact that she is trying to reach out and get help tells me there is more to the story than we are getting here and I think she deserves the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps for now, the only help she is ready to accept is the help of a friend. I know after my divorce from my control freak ex-husband, it was very difficult for me to ask others to help me even though I knew I needed it. 

 

I say give her all the help you can give and encourage her, but don't push her, to do what needs to be done for her daughter's education, whatever that may be. Even if she has received no type of formal education before now, her daughter is not "ruined for life" at ripe old age of 9. With the right help and encouragement, she could be up to grade level by the end of the year possibly assuming she's neurotypical. My oldest son was a very late bloomer with reading but it definitely was not for lack of  reading aloud to him since he was an infant and trying every thing under the sun to teach him to read from the time he was 5 years old. He tested neurotypical at age 9. Finally started reading on his own at the age of 9.5yo and caught up and surpassed his peers by the time he was tested again at age 12. He is graduated from high school now and is following his dream of being in the military. No one would know from talking to him now that he couldn't read when he was 9. 

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