"No child of mine will ever...!"

[Rosika]

This is my situation. So many things I was so sure of with my first. I was such an awesome parent (you know, at the wise old age of 23).

 

I really am sorry to anyone who knew me back then and I was all judgy. I remember telling someone that they shouldn't take toys, books, snacks, to church for their toddler. I told them "My ds knows it is not playtime. We set the expectation and he meets it." I paid for that one as my subsequent children could not sit through mass until they were very old. My nine yo still has bad days.

 

I think I also told people that all children can be potty trained by age 2. If not, it was a parent issue.

 

I am so humiliated when I think about these things. I was in a moms group with many older moms and they must have hated me. It was almost 20 years ago know and I so embarassed when I think about it.

 

:grouphug:  I think so many of us have BTDT!

 

I had my kids in my 20s, and then a surprise baby last year in my 40s. It's funny to be on this other side of the (age) fence. There are a few moms at story time (library) who scream "first time mom of easy-going child" ... in my 20s, I'd have felt competitive; in my 30s, I'd have been annoyed and openly judgy; but now in my 40s, I just feel like they're my little soul sisters and I find mild amusement and even affection for them. This week they were trying to one-up each other about teething, as if the rate a baby's teeth come in has anything to do with parenting.  :lol:

 

Meanwhile my kid is in the corner licking the wall, which in my 20s would have mortified me, in my 30s would have embarrassed me, but in my 40s just leaves me laughing as I wipe the wall clean and picture a tip jar in front of me with the question: "Which should gross me out more?" and try to decide if I put my dollar in the "kiddie germs smeared on walls" or the "library's industrial-strength cleaners" side before deciding that anything chased down by ice cream kills all the gross things. 

 

I'm far enough removed that I can remember those earlier days of parenting an "easy" child very fondly. Actually, typing it out I don't know if it's my age so much as it is just being a more seasoned mother. Probably the latter. Maybe both. Just sharing that to say that you needn't feel humiliated nor embarrassed! I'm sure most of the moms, even if only deep down, knew you were speaking from a place so many of us have been ourselves. They maybe were annoyed, perhaps they shared a knowing chuckle, and then likely they just felt relief that they had moved into a new, less exhausting phase of motherhood - beyond the mommy wars LOL

Edited October 1, 2017 by Rosika

[Lizzie in Ma]

Although, OTOH, I did really hate it a lot when experienced parents would warn me to "Just wait!" anytime I expressed fondness for something my kids did. One of my SIL's (with older kids) was constantly "warning" me about the coming end of delight in my children. It never came. I still think my kids are pretty neat people at 20, 17 and 12.

 

This.

I think my kids are awesome at 21 and 17.  I am so very proud of them. They've each been through hell and are still battling but they are smart, and funny and kind.

As far as hair dye goes, oldest has had brilliant purple hair since she was 18.  What can I say, she is my fairy child and it suits her to a "t". ;)

[Lizzie in Ma]

I had a lot of people "warn" me about teenagers and how the relationship with my daughter would fall apart.  Nope, she's 23 and we're still very close.

 

Dh was big on "my kids won't ever...." before the younger two were born.  Lots of stuff I did with oldest, was never going to happen with HIS kids.  

 

Never sleep in our bed.....then ds was the worst sleeping baby ever.  It was let him sleep with us so I could nurse easily or never get any rest.  I think it took 6 weeks for him to give in on that one.

 

Will always eat what's on their plate.....then ds who has sensory issues and would chose starve over eating something he didn't want

 

Those were the two biggies.  We're both pretty laid back now, which hopefully will keep the teen years from being too bad.

 

We co-slept for years.  What the hell, they are only little once. ;)

Youngest has sensory issues too, eating habits are wildly different that I ever expected. 

[Soror]

I see both sides of this. I had so many ideas about parenting before I got pregnant and then I had kids and those changed drastically.  But there were also things that we kept with because it was important. I also hated older parents telling me what I would or wouldn't do, we made some decisions different than other and kept with them. All my kids breastfed and co-slept, none of them were spanked, I never regretted those choices or changed my mind. Now, I'm laxer on some things like electronics and junk food and I'm not as hardcore on attachment parenting/gentle discipline. I do wonder what kind of Mom I'd be now in my late 30's!

[Beaniemom]

I have to remind DH at church sometimes that those annoying people with the squirming/babbling/chatting children were us not that long ago. He was away the first 10 months of child #3’s life though so maybe he really doesn’t recall the craziness of 3 kids 3 and under in Mass especially with our SN kid. I have a higher tolerance for the kidsin Mass and their quirks after having lived through taking my 3 so many times by myself.

[Wheres Toto]

Well, I bet he doesn't have an old-school game boy, though.

 

Ds's first gaming system was oldest dd's old Game Boy Color, circa 1999 or so.  With a Pokemon Red cartridge. He still plays it occasionally despite having a 3DSXL, a Wii, a Wii U, and a tablet.

[Baseball mom]

Love this thread  :001_tt1:

BTDT with so many of these things.

I had brothers young enough to be mine so I thought I was prepared  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

 

 

 

 

Edited October 1, 2017 by Baseball mom

[Jean in Newcastle]

Chocolate Lucky Charms are gluten free and oat free????? Do they taste at all like regular LC?? The oats were what made them so fabulous. Well, those and the marshmallows.

Regular Lucky Charms are now gluten free. But you might want to be careful. They don't actually use gluten free oats. They sift out any cross contamination and test repeatedly for gluten. Dd hasn't had any reactions to them. http://www.luckycharms.com/glutenfree

[Elizabeth86]

Screens. I swore when I was pregnant with my first we wouldnt do screens. Here we are 6 years later. We got him playstation games for his birthday and Im praying my 2 year old will start watching tv so we can get some quiet since she stopped napping. My my how things have changed around here.

[Guest]

Hot dogs and Kool-Aid and McDs. Yeah- just had McDs like 2 days in a row because of the move.

 

The no gaming systems Dh and I agree on. Though for the last 2 Christmas I have seriously considered a Wii. But they are so $$$ and I hate the clutter the cartridges generate.

 

No personal screens still stands but man am I tempted to get the kids their own ipad minis this year. Course then we would have to eat air for months...

[klmama]

Regular Lucky Charms are now gluten free. But you might want to be careful. They don't actually use gluten free oats. They sift out any cross contamination and test repeatedly for gluten. Dd hasn't had any reactions to them. http://www.luckycharms.com/glutenfree

 

Thanks, but I'm allergic to oats now.  GF oats are still a problem.  I need oat-free oats, LOL!

 

 

Hmmm....  I checked the link, and the chocolate ones are NOT gluten-free.  They are oat-free, however.  

Edited October 2, 2017 by klmama

[DawnM]

This.

I think my kids are awesome at 21 and 17.  I am so very proud of them. They've each been through hell and are still battling but they are smart, and funny and kind.

As far as hair dye goes, oldest has had brilliant purple hair since she was 18.  What can I say, she is my fairy child and it suits her to a "t". ;)

 

I feel the same way.  My kids are 19,17,and 13 and all are about to have birthdays (Dec, Feb, and March) and turn a year older.  I couldn't be more thrilled about how they are turning out.  They are good people in spite of my parenting!  :lol:

 

My oldest son has had hair past his shoulders since he was 14.  It suits him.  No purple yet, but purple is his favorite color.

 

And I used to say no child of mine would go to an expensive school and get an Art degree......guess what my oldest is doing?  Yup, yup, yup.....just sitting here trying to determine if I want my crow roasted or grilled.

[Zinnia]

I was a judgy 10/11/12 year old. :D.

 

I remember being in the 4th and 5th grade, thinking, why won't those boys just sit down and do what she says? Their life would be so much better if they just went along with the teacher/leader/coach/parent. Why do they have to question everything and waste everyone's time?

 

And then I had two of *those* kids.

 

Hahaha. Joke was on me. This has been a long learning curve. Turns out, just serving great food every night doesn't make them eat it, modeling kind, sweet behavior doesn't make them so, and having a house full of books and a mom that doesn't stop reading doesn't make them read. Being a good, caring mom doesn't mean they dont buck and question every little thing. Parenting has really made me question my assumptions about how people tick.

Edited October 2, 2017 by Zinnia