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If you've gone through a divorce while homeschooling...


extendedforecast
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I'm making steps towards divorce. I am in the process of enrolling one of my dd's into parttime ps high school. I need to find a part time job. I don't want to return to my former career and I'm not interested in teaching/education field. I've gained many skills while homeschooling but I am in transition. Hugs and best wishes to everyone.

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A friend of mine cleaned offices in the evening and took all of her kids along. She also provided after school, school holiday, and summer care for school-aged kids. That way should could mostly have her homeschooling done when the other kids showed up. At one point she even provided overnight and weekend care because she had a large house with an extra bedroom.

 

Once all of hers graduated, she renewed her teaching certificate and actually got a job in the "special programs" office for the school system. Now she handles all of the homeschooling paperwork, among other things. I was so pleased to see her signature on the response letter when I sent in my paperwork that my youngest had graduated.

 

I'm done with homeschooling, but DH and I separated this summer. Because I worked all along, we're OK for now, but I don't make much and probably will have to get a job with benefits down the road. I'm an as-needed part-time employee with one employer, and an independent contractor with another. Neither have benefits, and if I can't work, unemployment and SSD are dicey at best. Not a good long-term situation.

 

But keep in mind that sometimes you have to have a job to get a job. It may be a matter of stair-stepping. My oldest is in the cleaning and maintenance crew at a gym, and several recruiters have reacted very positively to that. It shows that he's willing to do unpleasant things and keep at it. Even though I likely won't get a a job in the field I want initially, there are other related jobs that could lead to the job I want. With one scenario, I could keep my as-needed gig and work during the week with benefits, and we would be more be more comfortable. The as-needed is in the field I love, and staying there might lead to something down the road.

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I had a friend go through this but her ex-husband continued to support them until the divorce was finalized.  Once the divorce was mostly complete, she put her kids in school and got a job.

 

She didn't want to get a job before this because she said it would mess up child support because the attorney wanted to show that she was a homemaker up until he wanted the divorce.  She was a homemaker and the attorney wanted that taken into account.

 

 

So sorry    :grouphug:

Edited by Attolia
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I got divorced a few years ago and was able to keep homeschooling while I also went back to school myself to earn my master's degree. I do not recommend following in my footsteps because we lived on student loans and the tiny income I earned through transcription. I will say, though, that that transcription job has been a real help to me over the years because I can take work pretty much when I want it and take leave for months when I need to. 

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I am preparing for this eventuality.

 

I have a part-time job already. It was temporary, no benefits, so I went to the folks I worked for and told them I needed a job with benefits. The trade-off has been that it is limited to half time, so I cannot pick up more hours.

 

The kids' dad has agreed that he will support homeschooling financially and otherwise as long as the kids are school age, so I will (likely) get some combination of child and spousal support so that I can continue to work part-time and homeschool.

 

Some attorneys will do a short consultation--some for free or reduced rate, others charge their hourly rate--to help you figure out what your options are and what to expect.

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Thank you for sharing your experiences. It is something I need to contemplate in case I do find myself in that position. My goal would be to keep as many aspects of their lives the same, including where they attend school, but I also know it wouldn't be the end of the world. Best of luck to you all.

I hope you don't find yourself in that position, but I admire you for being realistic and for trying to get your ducks in a row, just in case.

 

I don't know where you are in this process, but have you spoken with an attorney to find out what steps you can take right now to protect yourself, your finances, and your children, as well as to find out how much you could realistically expect to receive in child support and alimony payments? Also, even if divorce is still a remote possibility, now is the time to start compiling records and making copies of all of your financial information -- things like that tend to "disappear" when you need them the most. And document everything. We all think we'll remember dates and details, but when things get stressful, we forget stuff, so it's good to keep a journal of anything that might be important. Also, if you can start socking away a little cash here and there, that could end up being very helpful to you and your kids -- and if you end up not needing it for this reason, you'll have a nice little extra nest egg for something else you want or need in the future.

 

I guess what I am suggesting is to be proactive, which is what you seem to be doing. Plan for the worst, even while you hope and work for the best.

 

I hope you end up not needing any of the advice you're getting in this thread. :grouphug:

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My son was 9 when I filed for divorce.  We stayed in the house and XH moved out while things were being finalized over the course of 12 months.  My half of marital assets allowed me to buy a small house and my cs and alimony were enough for me to live on, but alimony was only awarded for 3 years.  Of course I didn't even know I would get alimony when I filed.  I just knew I couldn't stay married.  So my plan was to do what I had to to keep ds homeschooled at least until high school.  I would have cleaned houses or offices or done after school care in order to keep homeschooling.  

 

As it turned out I had enough to live on and then I got remarried a year after the divorce was final.  

 

It has a way of working out.  I advise to not make decisions based on feeling trapped.  My XH thought he had me trapped.  He was wrong.

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My son was 15, and I started college the fall after our separation. I got enough in aid and loans to not work. Ds graduated homeschooling a year early because it was getting to the point college was negatively affecting my ability to homeschool. Had he been younger than, um probably 12, I would have had to put him in school. 

 

There were not enough jobs in our area to make working a viable option. Driving to the next biggest town would have been necessary, which would have driven up how much money I needed to live, the time I was gone each day, and my stress level. For me, I knew I could not work full time and homeschool properly. I did my first year of college online, which worked out great. The next year, I took classes that only met a few days out of the week. 

 

I also knew exdh would not be in a position to pay child support, so any dependence on him was out - which was wildly freeing anyway. 

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In sixteen years of homeschooling, I've never seen a family continue homeschooling after a divorce unless the kids were already in high school and had transitioned to mostly college classes.

A friend of mine is, her kids are 7th &5th I think. I'm not sure how she manages tbh. Some combination of decent child support and welfare I presume but I don't know. She is an amazing mother.

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In sixteen years of homeschooling, I've never seen a family continue homeschooling after a divorce unless the kids were already in high school and had transitioned to mostly college classes.

I'm doing it right now. I have decent child support, no debt, and a work at home job that allows me to put in my hours however suits me. Kids are 7th, 4th, 1st, and 3 yo.

 

I realize this is probably an exception to the rule, but it is doable. We've been at it for over 2 years now.

 

Good luck to all who might see this path in their future!

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 We all think we'll remember dates and details, but when things get stressful, we forget stuff, so it's good to keep a journal of anything that might be important.

 

I guess what I am suggesting is to be proactive, which is what you seem to be doing. Plan for the worst, even while you hope and work for the best.

 

I hope you end up not needing any of the advice you're getting in this thread. :grouphug:

 

Catwoman -- Super information. When you say "keep a journal." Of what?

 

And thank you!

 

Alley

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and you were out of the workforce for a long time, how or what did you do to support yourself? Did you have to put the kids in school, or were you able to continue homeschooling? - if you don't mind answering of course.

 

((((ExtendedForecast)))) -- I know you might not be ready for this, but I just wanted to make sure you saw that Williams Sonoma is hiring remote workers. So, you work out of your house and answer customer calls.

 

I think it's f/t over the holiday, but might drop to p/t in January. Just guessing.

 

What part of the world do you live in?

 

Catwoman's advice is spot-on.

 

Alley

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In sixteen years of homeschooling, I've never seen a family continue homeschooling after a divorce unless the kids were already in high school and had transitioned to mostly college classes.

I'm mostly a lurker but I just wanted to chime in. I have 4 little kids (my youngest is 6, my oldest is 11) and I've been able to continue homeschooling post-divorce. My attorney had it included in our settlement agreement that the children would continued to be homeschooled and that I am the primary decision maker in regards to all educational decisions (my ex and I have joint custody). Between my spousal and child support, I am able to continue to being a stay at home mom and not work at all for at least the next 7 years. My ex isn't thrilled about it, but having a lifestyle where I was always a stay at home mom and homeschooled worked in my favor. At least in my area, judges like to maintain the "normal" for kids whenever possible, so if it's financially possible to continue homeschooling post-divorce, that's the way they lean. Having a great attorney also helps. Good luck with everything!

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