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Thinking about a young cat I could adopt


Quill
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I'm trying to figure out how I feel about this philosophically. My beautiful black cat, Thor, was diagnosed with Chronic Kidney Failure back in March. I gave him treatments thoughout the summer, but made the decision to have him put down in August. It was so heartbreaking; he was only 7 years old and I never in my worst dream thought that would be the extent of his life. We still have his sister, Luna, a sweet longhaired tortie.

 

I was not thinking much about getting another cat right now. And it's also difficult in one way because there were specific things about Thor's personality that were just so endearing and I just adored him for it. He was talkative. He was affectionate. He was a big, heavy-bodied cat and cut an impressive figure of a pet; think Norwegian Forest Cat, though he was just a "mutt."

 

But yesterday, I went into the pet store to get meal worms and a heat lamp for my son's lizard, and of course they display local cats who are offered for adoption. The shelter they access is the one where my DD used to volunteer. What do they have on offer, but an adorable, playful, talkative, dear black young male cat. He was allegedly born in March - same time our Thor Bear was diagnosed. Oh man! I want this kitty! But part of why I want him (large part) is because he reminds me of Thor. But is that a bad reason after all? These animals need families and we can be that for him.

 

I was thinking I might call and see some details on adopting him and, if it seems like The Universe paves the way for him to become ours, then perhaps he is meant for us. Or maybe that's just the woo-woo I tell myself because I want this cat to make up for losing Thor Bear.

 

What does the Hive think?

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Philosophically, I think providing a loving, committed home to an animal who needs one is a Very Good Thing.

 

I don't see a problem with wanting this kitty because he reminds you of another kitty you loved! You know the new cat will be his own little person, and I'm sure you'll love him for his own little self.  :)

 

I think you should call and get more details. I'm sure I won't be the only one checking back here...  ;)

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The hardest thing in make a hard decision is not in making the decision itself but in committing to what you know is the right decision.

It sounds to me like you've already decided you want this kitty but maybe you feel like you'd be dishonoring Thor? Nothing could be further from

the truth! Our pets mean so much to us that they become family. When family leaves (in whatever fashion they go), it leaves a whole in our heart that

hurts! This particular kitty needs a loving home and you obviously need a kitty to love on to heal your hurt. I think it's a GREAT idea! Remember, you're 

not replacing Thor; you're giving a home to someone he would approve of, as well!  ;)

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We had two cats a black/white one and a gray one.  We lost our black and white one a year or so ago (kidney disease) and then our gray one had to be put down this March (multiple issue and they think there was cancer at the end).  In May I saw 2 cats on a shelter's website brothers, one black/white and one gray.   They reminded me a lot of our other pets and we adopted them.  I could not love them more and their personalities are so different from out other cats.  If you feel a connection with this kitty go for it.   The reminder will be there but that is ok, it will not diminish your love for this new kitty.

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This is kitty karma at work!  Of course you must have him!  And then you must share photos!  :001_wub:

 

ETA - we have always replaced our cats pretty quickly and we always have at least 2 (right now we are at 3).  It's nice for kitties to have a buddy.  We have NEVER regretted getting a new pet too soon.

Edited by WoolySocks
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I think you should adopt him, but not think about him as a "Thor Jr." but to enjoy him for his own personality and behavior.  You gave Thor a wonderful home. You will give this cat a wonderful home.  That's what this cat needs. 

 

I always suggest to people after they lose a beloved pet, that they do what I did. Do not immediately go out and get another pet. Wait 2 or 3 months, get over much of the grieving process, and then give another animal a wonderful home. 

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I adore black cats.

 

When my beloved black cat died at 5 I was devastated. I'm at vets office crying and they tell me they have a stray cat that someone abandoned at their front door in a carrier with a scratching post and a note.

She had been there for the past month.

 

I dried my tears, went home to get my son to meet her. We arrived with cat treats and toys :)

 

Later that day we took her home.

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IMO there's nothing at all wrong with adopting a cat because he reminds you of your previous cat. Really, it's the personality traits you're attracted to, right? That's exactly why a lot of people stick with the same breed (dog or cat). Animals within the breed are more likely to share the same personality characteristics. If you know what you like .  . why not go for it? Black boy cats are usually all sorts of special (but it's very possible I'm biased in that regard!).

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For me it would depend on the remaining cat's temperament. If it was the male cat, we would not get another cat until after he had passed. He tolerated enough when we brought home the puppy three years ago, but I doubt he would be as accepting of any more animals. If it was the female cat, I would get another cat because I know that she could adjust better and handle another pet. What's Luna like?

 

If you think Luna would be amenable, then I wouldn't hesitate and would probably have already brought the cat home.  :001_wub:

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For me it would depend on the remaining cat's temperament. If it was the male cat, we would not get another cat until after he had passed. He tolerated enough when we brought home the puppy three years ago, but I doubt he would be as accepting of any more animals. If it was the female cat, I would get another cat because I know that she could adjust better and handle another pet. What's Luna like?

 

If you think Luna would be amenable, then I wouldn't hesitate and would probably have already brought the cat home. :001_wub:

Luna is likely to accept another cat. She's very docile and sweet. I think she misses Thor and doesn't like being the only pet. Every DD said this to me yesterday - that she believes Luna would accept another cat.

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Now I just have to see what DH thinks...😠(He's not "a cat person," though he tolerates the cats.)

 

My dh isn't a cat person, either, but I've talked him into five cats. My best tactic is to claim I've been seeing lots of mice lately and the traps just don't seem to be catching them, so wouldn't it be helpful if we had another cat or two?  ;)

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My dh isn't a cat person, either, but I've talked him into five cats. My best tactic is to claim I've been seeing lots of mice lately and the traps just don't seem to be catching them, so wouldn't it be helpful if we had another cat or two? ;)

Seriously. That is one thing (maybe the one thing) he loves about having cats.

 

Before we got Luna and Thor, when my old cat, Samantha, was on the decline, he was fairly adamant that he didn't want another cat when she died. But then, DD loved cats so much and one day, seemingly out of the blue he said, "I think we should try and see if we can get a couple of cats for KG." Which is why I have this weird sort of woo-woo idea that if it's meant to be, it will happen without a lot of hardship.

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I have 5 cats, so you probably shouldn't listen to me, but I think you should get the kitty.

 

Put kitty in a separate room in your house at first. Don't let the cats see each other for up to a week, depending on how desperate he is to get out of the room. Sometimes kitties get really scared being moved and will hide under the bed for a few days before coming out. (Sometimes not.)

 

So, give him time to get used to being in a new place.

 

A nice idea is to feed the cats treats on opposite sides of the door. They can smell each other under the door while they're each eating treats and then'll associate happy times with the other cat.

 

At some point after he's settled into the room he's in, you'll want him to get used to the rest of the house. Swap the cats. Put your girl in the room he's been in, so she can smell him and check out his food bowl, etc. While she's investigating his room, let him explore the rest of the house.

 

Next step is to open the door a tiny crack, using your foot to brace it so they can't push through to each other, and let them sniff noses. There might be some posturing and hissing. That's ok.

 

After sniffing noses a time or two, it's time to let them see each other. No yelling at any hissing cats. Let them posture without making a big deal out of it.

 

If it goes super well, they could stay out together and you're done. But if one of the kitties seems distressed, put new kitty back in the room so they can cool off for a bit and then let them out together again later.

 

Sometimes all of this can be done in just a few days and sometimes it's a few weeks. Either way is normal. Don't push the kitties to be together too soon. First impressions can be strong with cats. If they are sprung on each other too soon, they can get a negative first impression of the other cat that'll last for a looooong time. Let them ease into getting used to each other.

Edited by Garga
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We went three years before getting a cat after our first one died. We visited a shelter and there were so many kittens, we didn't know how to decide. We went back a different day and there was a little gray tabby kitten that wasn't there earlier. Our first cat was a gray tabby. Then this one was so responsive to us--just purred the whole time any of us held him. Decision made. He's actually very different in personality than our first cat--more social, more into the people. But looking like our first cat helped us make a decision for him.

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Like you said the cats there need homes you have a home that could use another cat... why you would choose that cat over a different cat makes very little difference to the situation.  I would get Luna's opinion (do a trial run?) first though because what she loved in Thor may not be okay in a new cat.

 

A trial will also help your DH get used to the idea.

Edited by foxbridgeacademy
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C'mon, Quill! Where is kitty? What will you name him?

It's not about how you feel. This is about a cat needing a home.

Well, I discussed it with DH after he was well-fed with dinner. 😠(I can't arrange persuasive tEa at the moment because my back is so FUBARed right now, but we'll have to go the stomach route.) He said, in his eye-rolly way, that he doesn't mind if I get the kitty. So yay! I have not called yet; I will call tomorrow. I almost took DS12 to the pet store today to let him meet the kitty, but I was afraid this would only make it worse if DH were not amenable. But he said okay!!! 😇 He does think it's a little "weird" that I want a kitty similar to Thor; he doesn't want me to be disappointed if he doesn't turn out to be so much like Thor after all, but I don't think that is a risk. I can love this kitty for himself.

 

I will try to post a picture if this goes well (i.e., he is available, we are accepted for him, etc.), but I know historically I have had major struggles getting photos on here. I might have to settle for a link from photobucket. Oh! I think there's a picture on pet finder, though I am not sure if the cats described there are him/his siblings.

 

For names, I had in mind either Felix (because I like "lucky" for a black cat; let's break stereotypes, lol) or Jax, because I just like that sound and I like the J. But DS also offered up a strong contender that also has the J sound - Jedi. That's pretty cool. Jedi is officially in the running, but we'll have to see what name speaks to us when he is really going to be ours, assuming that happens. I have had the experience of just "knowing" the right name out of the clear blue sky; that is how Thor got his name and that name was always just perfect for him. ☺ï¸

 

https://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/30372523

 

I do not know if this is "my" cat, but the kitties were rescued from a feral group, so it could be.

Edited by Quill
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Well, I discussed it with DH after he was well-fed with dinner. 😠(I can't arrange persuasive tEa at the moment because my back is so FUBARed right now, but we'll have to go the stomach route.) He said, in his eye-rolly way, that he doesn't mind if I get the kitty. So yay! I have not called yet; I will call tomorrow. I almost took DS12 to the pet store today to let him meet the kitty, but I was afraid this would only make it worse if DH were not amenable. But he said okay!!! 😇 He does think it's a little "weird" that I want a kitty similar to Thor; he doesn't want me to be disappointed if he doesn't turn out to be so much like Thor after all, but I don't think that is a risk. I can love this kitty for himself.

 

I will try to post a picture if this goes well (i.e., he is available, we are accepted for him, etc.), but I know historically I have had major struggles getting photos on here. I might have to settle for a link from photobucket. Oh! I think there's a picture on pet finder, though I am not sure if the cats described there are him/his siblings.

 

For names, I had in mind either Felix (because I like "lucky" for a black cat; let's break stereotypes, lol) or Jax, because I just like that sound and I like the J. But DS also offered up a strong contender that also has the J sound - Jedi. That's pretty cool. Jedi is officially in the running, but we'll have to see what name speaks to us when he is really going to be ours, assuming that happens. I have had the experience of just "knowing" the right name out of the clear blue sky; that is how Thor got his name and that name was always just perfect for him. ☺ï¸

I hope you get him!!!

 

If you name him Jedi, will it end up being shortened to Jed? Because taking away one letter will be enough to go from Star Wars to Beverly Hillbillies.

 

Just saying.

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I hope you get him!!!

 

If you name him Jedi, will it end up being shortened to Jed? Because taking away one letter will be enough to go from Star Wars to Beverly Hillbillies.

 

Just saying.

HaHa, well who knows? Maybe he will end up being more of a Jed than a Jedi. I mean, it never really made sense that we gave Thor such a dignified name and then nicknamed him "Thor Bear." Like - he's strong! He's the god of Thunder! But he's also a sweet teddy bear. 😊

 

We also had a cat named Samantha, but she was 99% of the time called "Kitty." Whenever I called her Samantha, I felt like I was talking about some other cat. She was just always Kitty.

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I have 5 cats, so you probably shouldn't listen to me, but I think you should get the kitty.

 

Put kitty in a separate room in your house at first. Don't let the cats see each other for up to a week, depending on how desperate he is to get out of the room. Sometimes kitties get really scared being moved and will hide under the bed for a few days before coming out. (Sometimes not.)

 

So, give him time to get used to being in a new place.

 

A nice idea is to feed the cats treats on opposite sides of the door. They can smell each other under the door while they're each eating treats and then'll associate happy times with the other cat.

 

At some point after he's settled into the room he's in, you'll want him to get used to the rest of the house. Swap the cats. Put your girl in the room he's been in, so she can smell him and check out his food bowl, etc. While she's investigating his room, let him explore the rest of the house.

 

Next step is to open the door a tiny crack, using your foot to brace it so they can't push through to each other, and let them sniff noses. There might be some posturing and hissing. That's ok.

 

After sniffing noses a time or two, it's time to let them see each other. No yelling at any hissing cats. Let them posture without making a big deal out of it.

 

If it goes super well, they could stay out together and you're done. But if one of the kitties seems distressed, put new kitty back in the room so they can cool off for a bit and then let them out together again later.

 

Sometimes all of this can be done in just a few days and sometimes it's a few weeks. Either way is normal. Don't push the kitties to be together too soon. First impressions can be strong with cats. If they are sprung on each other too soon, they can get a negative first impression of the other cat that'll last for a looooong time. Let them ease into getting used to each other.

Thank you so much for all of that great info! I have not had this experience yet (integrating a new kitty into a family with a grown cat) and, while I had the general idea of how I might go about it, it's nice to see things spelled out.

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Well, the kitty in question already has a home. 😭 I tentatively agreed to come look at the other kitties, but the wind is out of my sails about it.

 

Aw, I'm sorry.  :crying: Maybe it just wasn't time to get another one. Or maybe when you meet the other kitties one of them will say, "Pick me, pick me! Take me home."

 

We're bringing a one year old spayed female home on Sunday. My cousin's granddaughter found it when they were living with her and it was just a tiny thing. Then her daughter's family moved out of town and to an apartment where they can't have pets, leaving my cousin with the kitten. She works all day and comes home too tired to play with a kitten. Her older cat doesn't mind, but the kitten needs more attention than she can give it. I told her we'd take it but I'm worried about my nine year old sweet girl. She was the newcomer once, when we already had an adult cat and a dog. She loved her new roomies and became best friends with the dog (the old cat just tolerated her). However, she's been an only cat since the older cat died in 2012 and an only pet since the dog died in 2016. I'm hoping she'll be okay with this newcomer. My cousin did say she'd take her back if it doesn't work out. She tried to give it to a rescue and they were going to take her. Then they were slammed with cats from Hurricane Harvey, and not long after that cats from Irma. They just can't take a cat that's already in a safe home.

Edited by Lady Florida.
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I just saw this after I posted. I am so sorry. Please do still go visit the other kitties, you just never know, one may truly speak to your heart in a special way.

 

Maybe, but I feel a little like I got passed over for a prom date. Like, now I'm twisting up a cocktail napkin and telling myself I was stupid to hope because of course Paul was going to go with Dawn and not me. So now I don't even know if I can consider going with Brian.

 

Self-pity. I think that's the right word.

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Maybe, but I feel a little like I got passed over for a prom date. Like, now I'm twisting up a cocktail napkin and telling myself I was stupid to hope because of course Paul was going to go with Dawn and not me. So now I don't even know if I can consider going with Brian.

 

Self-pity. I think that's the right word.

You're allowed to be sad and disappointed. :grouphug:

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Maybe, but I feel a little like I got passed over for a prom date. Like, now I'm twisting up a cocktail napkin and telling myself I was stupid to hope because of course Paul was going to go with Dawn and not me. So now I don't even know if I can consider going with Brian.

 

Self-pity. I think that's the right word.

Yeah, but Brian might be just the cat you are looking for. 

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