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Getting a job is exhausting


lauraw4321
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We're relocating and I have to get a job. I've been working with a recruiter and she thinks I'm going to have a couple of interviews lined up, and doesn't want me to push myself out too broadly because I won't really get a job that way. Meanwhile lots of people have reached out to me to say they have a connection in the new city and pass along my resume. I have.  Crickets. Then another recruiter reached out to me, and I'm going to talk to her, of course, but I don't know what good it will do. I'm just very uncomfortable "marketing" myself, and I get so much conflicting advice. It's very stressful. Ok, vent over.

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:grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

I'm not relocating but I am attempting to get back into the workforce after 20 years as stay-home, homeschooling mom. I'm working with a career counselor and she doesn't seem to "get" me. I feel very stuck.  

 

So, all that to say, I get you. It's hard!  Don't "they" say that finding a job is a full-time job? I hope you are able to find what you're looking for, sooner rather than later!  

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((((You guys)))),

 

I don't even know you both, but I can tell you right now: you're undervaluing yourselves. Don't ask me how I know, but I can tell.

 

Also, in a nutshell I'm not huge on working w/ career counselors etc. Not a terrible idea, but let them be a tool in your toolbox. Let them do their thing while you're busy using other tools in your box.

 

Also, take a good long look at why marketing yourself isn't comfortable for you. There's something under that thought and it's holding you back. Jam write about it and see what surfaces. (Homeschooling moms are generally dynamos. And usually they don't get that.)

 

You can have self esteem issues and still land a great job. I grew up with parents who scapegoated me. My mom once said, "I always wondered what would become of you." Geez. Way to support me mom.

 

Anyway, my point is: raising your self esteem after you've been battered isn't a check box type of thing. It will always be an on-going project. You'll be 90 year old ladies noticing how it rears it's head. But hopefully by then you'll have a better relationship with it and know how to self-soothe.

 

I could on and on. I didn't just write words here. In fact my plate is full today w/ an assignment that's due tomorrow -- but I had to chime in.

 

More hugs,

 

Alley

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((((You guys)))),

 

I don't even know you both, but I can tell you right now: you're undervaluing yourselves. Don't ask me how I know, but I can tell.

 

Also, in a nutshell I'm not huge on working w/ career counselors etc. Not a terrible idea, but let them be a tool in your toolbox. Let them do their thing while you're busy using other tools in your box.

 

Also, take a good long look at why marketing yourself isn't comfortable for you. There's something under that thought and it's holding you back. Jam write about it and see what surfaces. (Homeschooling moms are generally dynamos. And usually they don't get that.)

 

You can have self esteem issues and still land a great job. I grew up with parents who scapegoated me. My mom once said, "I always wondered what would become of you." Geez. Way to support me mom.

 

Anyway, my point is: raising your self esteem after you've been battered isn't a check box type of thing. It will always be an on-going project. You'll be 90 year old ladies noticing how it rears it's head. But hopefully by then you'll have a better relationship with it and know how to self-soothe.

 

I could on and on. I didn't just write words here. In fact my plate is full today w/ an assignment that's due tomorrow -- but I had to chime in.

 

More hugs,

 

Alley

 

I don't think I'm undervaluing myself, truly. It's just awkward as hell. I know what I deserve in terms of compensation once I get there. But it's a very tricky balance to push for myself while still not crossing the lines of what's socially acceptable for women to do. I tell myself constantly to go forth with the confidence of a mediocre white man.

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My husband went for a job interview last week because his ex-colleague kept persuading him because of employee referral bonus. Then the dept head called for a follow up phone interview and then HR called for the nitty gritty. My husband is already exhausted by the HR and he isn't even keen on the job after last week's interview due to work culture there (sulky employees).

 

Finding a job really is a full time job. Many people are emailing my husband to ask for openings at his current company. Unfortunately his dept is small and not hiring at the moment.

 

Passing along a resume is hard unless the dept heads have openings and are soliciting for employee referrals.

 

As for recruiters, look at their track records. It is kind of like choosing a real estate agent. Some are really good "matchmakers" while some have the connections but are bad at job matching.

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My husband went for a job interview last week because his ex-colleague kept persuading him because of employee referral bonus. Then the dept head called for a follow up phone interview and then HR called for the nitty gritty. My husband is already exhausted by the HR and he isn't even keen on the job after last week's interview due to work culture there (sulky employees).

 

Finding a job really is a full time job. Many people are emailing my husband to ask for openings at his current company. Unfortunately his dept is small and not hiring at the moment.

 

Passing along a resume is hard unless the dept heads have openings and are soliciting for employee referrals.

 

As for recruiters, look at their track records. It is kind of like choosing a real estate agent. Some are really good "matchmakers" while some have the connections but are bad at job matching.

This feedback is exactly what I mean. I feel like no matter what I do, someone's going to tell me I'm doing it "wrong."

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I just went through this process. I set a target to send out at least 2 resumes a day. I was desperate. It really helps if you can brainstorm the process and write down all the things people have said to you that you could use as your strengths. Pay attention to the cover letter. I think that was what brought me the offers I had. And stress on things like looking for a long term fit. People seem to like that.

 

In the end, it's the women-owned businesses that I have the most good fortune with. Tailor that cover letter. Send it out. Then go back and tweak the next one for a better version of your previous letter. If a career counselor is not working out, don't waste your time with them. Spend that time updating your LinkedIn Profile instead.

 

Good luck!

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I'm a corporate (transactional, M&A) relocating to Seattle, WA. Best fit would likely be a firm, but I have been in-house for the past year and would love another in-house position.

Any chance of an internal transfer? A friend with similar job did an internal transfer to London. Her husband is a U.K. citizen and their kids have dual citizenship. Her employer is one of the big European banks.

 

Good luck with your job search.

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I'm sorry.  Yes, it is exhausting.  DH has been looking for a job for a few months and it is mind blowing the experiences he has had / treatment he has had from other people.  You feel so vulnerable looking for a job to begin with.  Sending you good vibes for a job to come together in your wheelhouse!

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Any chance of an internal transfer? A friend with similar job did an internal transfer to London. Her husband is a U.K. citizen and their kids have dual citizenship. Her employer is one of the big European banks.

 

Good luck with your job search.

 

Company I currently work with is open to me working remotely, but the pay doesn't cover the COL increase we will have.

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DH has been looking for a job for a few months and it is mind blowing the experiences he has had / treatment he has had from other people.

All the crap my husband has gotten were from HR. Partially explains the sulky employees he saw.

 

This current interview with a household name tech company was the most weird by far of all the top tech companies we had interviewed for. They asked for college transcripts and copies of past years W2 forms.

 

My husband isn't keen but doesn't want to burn bridges either so he comply with information that is easy to give but his PhD is not done here so the transcript would have to be ordered and come by international mail. He is also not willing to give W2 information.

 

I was jokingly telling my husband that he could tell HR to check with USCIS since they have all our documentation for H1 and green card approval. Even the US embassy didn't bother checking his college transcripts for bachelors and PhD when they did the H1 interview.

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My husband is looking for a job or a contract. Anything even if it means relocating as long as we will be sustainable in new location. It's a daily mental wreck dealing with applications and ridiculous interview processes and it isn't cheap to look for work either. He will have to be in two different states for interviews next week.

 

And we will have to rent if we move and we have no had to look for an affordable rental for a large family in 16 years and it wasn't easy 16 years ago!

 

So yes. Stress is very very exhausting.

 

Best of luck to your household.

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That company's HR are "tightwads". They keep badgering him about his current pay package. His current employer is also a comparatively big tech company, so tech rivals in a way.

They always do that.

The headhunters are the worst.

Just say no.

 

'My compensation was commensurate with my responsibilities and experience.'  or, 'What is your budget for this position?'  or, 'I expect to be compensated appropriately for my responsibilities and performance.  Is that consistent with your policies?'

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They always do that.

The headhunters are the worst.

Just say no.'

My husband knows how to deal with them. Being an arms purchaser in military has served him well. We had worse experience with HR than headhunters but never this extreme. This company is actually infamous in the media for being tightwads (and for "slave labor") so the HR kind of live up to their infamous reputation.

 

He went for the interview as a favor to a former colleague and out of curiosity too. Didn't expect to make it past the first round. It is an interesting experience.

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