Stupid ways you've hurt yourself...

[RegGuheert]

I half-way sawed off my left index finger with a chainsaw at the middle joint.  The doctor sewed it back on, but movement is now limited and feeling in my finger is not normal.

 

I think the worst part about the above accident was the chainsaw stories I heard while recovering from the surgery.  The doctor required me to hold my finger above my head for a MONTH, so EVERYONE asked about it.  I heard the most horrendous chainsaw stories from people once they learned how I hurt my finger.  It's really hard to believe how many people have either had a chainsaw accident or know (or KNEW :ohmy:) someone who had one.

 

MomsintheGarden had a similar accident with a bandsaw, but I don't think too many people recounted anecdotes about bandsaw accidents to her. :tongue_smilie:

[tdbates78]

I'm super klutzy so I am always getting hurt. But the most recent one was when I wacked my head on our fireplace mantel and Im still recovering from the concussion from it! Its embarrassing...I wish I could make up a more impressive story! :)

[lynn]

I have a list of "50 ways Lynn has burned herself". Every burn scar has a stupid story behind it.

[Word Nerd]

Other than my rather careless acrobatics on the monkey bars that led to my breaking my arm in 3rd grade, the dumbest injury I had was using a regular hot pad instead of an oven mitt to take something out of the oven that was just under the broiler. I burned the back of my hand because I bumped it directly on heating element and still have a scar. You could smell the singed skin. Blech.

[Seeking Squirrels]

I dislocated my shoulder throwing a pillow. Twice. The second time involved 3 large firemen having to carry me down 3 flights of stairs to the ambulance. :/ 

 

I sliced my hand cutting open boxes with a box cutter working overnight overtime during christmas drop at target. Probably should have gone to the doc. Wrapped it up in paper towels and packing tape instead and kept working. It was I'd been there about 14 hours at that point. My boss came in a few hours later, saw and inquired and sent me immediately home. 

 

Making mac n cheese I set the plastic spoon down with the handle touching the burner. When I picked it up to stir a few minutes later, I transfered it from one hand to the other, pressing the now melted end into my palm. I was pulling bits of burnt plastic out of my hand for weeks. 

 

During a night job cleaning an office I stood up quickly into a cement cross beam that I had *just* seen and ducked under. Knocked myself out for a few seconds. 

 

I don't even notice all the bumps, bruises, and scratches I give myself anymore. I guess you could say I'm a bit accident prone. My mom is, too. And my oldest, who also happens to have SPD. Makes me think myself and my mother also have a bit of issue with proprioception. 

[Bluegoat]

I fell of my toilet, trying to reach something in a cupboard above, and dislocated a few ribs.

 

My dh was trying to inject our goats with Ivomec.  He has an issue with needles - he has a tendency to faint when he gets them.  Well, the goat struggled, and Dh ended up stabbing himself with the needle.  He managed to stumble int the house from the goat-shed and then fell over in a heap.   He didn't have any parasites after that, though.

[elegantlion]

I'm not generally prone to accidents, but I've had a few over the last years. A few years I was putting up a curtain rod when the tiny step stood slipped and I fell and hit my head. Probably ended up with a huge bump on my head, quite possibly a minor concussion. 

 

Before that ds and I had started a walking routine. Less than a week into it, I tripped over the dog and went down straight on my knee. Messed it up and limped for weeks. We had no insurance and nothing was broken, so I didn't go to the doctor. Thankfully I was still staying at home then. 

 

A few weeks ago the grass trimmer slipped while I was holding it and I "trimmed" part of my ankle. I thought I should wear long pants after that, but then I would just ruin the pants. I have several little areas that look like they will scar from that, but I scar and bruise easily. It looked nasty for several days but didn't hurt as much as it looked like it should.

 

I burn myself about every 5th time I use the toaster oven.

 

When I was a kid, we were sliding on the wet porch. I hit a dry spot and broke out my two front teeth. They need to be redone.

[gardenmom5]

rolling my ankle while walking and wearing danskos . . I love them, but I'm reluctant to wear them anymore.

 

having a snowball fight with dudeling - in less than an inch of snow.  walking back to our house, one foot in tire tracks . . . . I started sliding, so I twisted to not land on my bottom.  instead, I whacked the inside of my right knee which  not only pushed the fibula out of position in the joint,   . . . I ended up with a third degree MCL injury.  I should have gone to the ER that night.  (never mind dh didn't want to drive up our hill in my awd van when I also have spikes spiders . . . ) . . my sports med dr was utterly worthless.  still dealing with the fall -out of that one.

[Jaybee]

I fell of my toilet, trying to reach something in a cupboard above, and dislocated a few ribs.

 

My dh was trying to inject our goats with Ivomec.  He has an issue with needles - he has a tendency to faint when he gets them.  Well, the goat struggled, and Dh ended up stabbing himself with the needle.  He managed to stumble int the house from the goat-shed and then fell over in a heap.   He didn't have any parasites after that, though.

 

 

That reminded me of this: 

(Tim Conway's dentist skit)

[Guest]

Cleaning the kitchen. I'll never do THAT again.

 

Broke my arm. My sneaker caught the floor. I flew 12 feet and landed wrong.

 

I was alone in the house. My favorite line:

 

EMT: Do you deny anesthesia?

ME: Of course not. It exists! I DECLINE anesthesia.

 

Poor guy probably needed it himself. I can be a pill.

[theelfqueen]

If you can fall on it, into it or over it... I have. I am so klutzy... I am constantly covered in "I am not sure where I got that" bruises.

 

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[Teacher Mom]

Age about 10, hit the concrete sidewalk trying to pop a wheelie on my cousin's bike. Woke up at home in my own bed. Apparently passed out when I hit the sidewalk, and since I wasn't bleeding; they just took me home.

 

Same age, sitting with a book on my knees. Tried to see if I could turn the page by jiggling my knee. Somehow hit my lip with my knee and bled all over the place.

 

Age 20, trying to avoid dog, I tripped and fell down the stairs. Was in a cast and lost my chance to go out with Mr. McDreamy of that time period.

 

Poked myself in the eye with a mascara wand and got an eye infection.

 

Trying to look less like a nerd, I bought a pair of boots with high heels. Fell down while walking in them and put the boot heel through my own hand when getting up. Cured me of trying to look less like a nerd.

 

I have a million of these. My mother wonders how I have stayed alive so long.

 

 

Edited September 18, 2017 by Teacher Mom

[Tree Frog]

I've walked into the open end of the door in the dark more times than I'd like to say. That 1.5 inches sure hurt!

 

Walked into a closed door once. I was in my childhood home and rushed downstairs to use the bathroom. The door just off the bottom of the stairs that led to the bathroom was closed. Hit it so hard everyone in the house came running.

[Tanaqui]

A few months ago I was on the ferry, stood up to throw out my food wrapper, went to sit back down - and missed the seat. They're benches, for crying out loud, but I still ended up on the floor. It was my pride that was injured.

[Dmmetler]

I sprained my ankle-playing miniature golf! The worst part was that I was in the process of interviewing for music and movement ed positions. Hard to sell your skills on teaching creative movement when you come in on crutches after a painful mini-golf injury...

[fraidycat]

A few months ago I was on the ferry, stood up to throw out my food wrapper, went to sit back down - and missed the seat. They're benches, for crying out loud, but I still ended up on the floor. It was my pride that was injured.

:lol: Last year we were at a restaurant and DS was sliding down the bench to let someone else out. He thought the bench he was on extended the whole length of the back wall, but he thought wrong. He just slid right on out onto the floor without even trying to break his fall.

 

And now I'm crying tears of laughter remembering it. :lol:

[Elizabeth86]

I burned myself cooking once. Lets just say Im glad I didnt have a nursling at the time. How this happened I will never know, at the time they were so small????

[Supertechmom]

I used a manual hand held can opener one time to open a can of soup.  The damn can slipped, the open lid cut my index finger to the BONE! My hubby said I was fine and slapped some bandages on it. The next day I went to the ER because it was dripping blood everywhere still and had to have tendon surgery and a gazillion stitches. The specialist was like "all this from a soup can ??"  They maintained finger movement and most feeling but the finger kinda turns ever so slightly.....

[Lady Florida.]

I've always been a total klutz and often have bruises that I can't even remember where I got them. One of the recent dumbest is a bruise over my eye by my eyebrow. I read my Kindle in bed while lying on my back. Sometimes I fall asleep while doing so. I fell asleep and my Kindle landed on my face, bruising it. 

[Lady Florida.]

I burned myself cooking once. Lets just say Im glad I didnt have a nursling at the time. How this happened I will never know, at the time they were so small????

 

It took me a minute to realize what part of you burned. I don't want to laugh at your pain, but  :lol:

[Cindy in FL.]

When I was 8 months pregnant, I was at work using one of this paper cutters with the blade that you lift up and then down to cut the paper. They have those red bars that go across to block your fingers from getting cut. I was distracted by talking to someone and put my thumb over the bar. So gross, and stitches in your nail bed hurt like the dickens. A few days later I fell down some stairs at work and hurt my thumb again. They had to dig the stitches out with tweezers.

Edited September 19, 2017 by Cindy in FL.

[Lady Florida.]

A few months ago I was on the ferry, stood up to throw out my food wrapper, went to sit back down - and missed the seat. They're benches, for crying out loud, but I still ended up on the floor. It was my pride that was injured.

 

I can't tell you how often I've had to say that. As I said upthread I'm clumsy. I've fallen in public more times than I can count. When well meaning passersby ask me if I'm okay I usually say something like, "Yes, thank you. My pride is hurt worse than anything."

[Home'scool]

Last summer I was biking with my sister along a canal. We had new bikes and just had a conversation about whether or not we needed helmets. I said we didn't because (a) I knew how to ride a bike (b) we only were going to ride on a bike path - no cars or sidewalks to worry about. What could happen?

 

I should have known better than to be smug ......

 

We had pulled over to the side of the canal to talk, and when I started up again I was pedaling slow which made me wobbly. Well, I wobbled right over the side of the canal. It is a VERY steep drop off lined with huge boulders that then goes right into the rushing water. It is such a steep drop-off that my sister, who was right behind me, couldn't see me once I went over. 

 

I only stopped when I smacked my face on a boulder. I didn't even have time to put my hands out, just stopped the fall with my face. I have never been in so much pain before! I thought I had broken my cheek bone for sure.

 

I had a huge 4 inch long gash right beside my eye, and developed the worst black eye ever in existence. To this day my sister and I will be watching an action movie where someone is getting beat up and she will turn to me and say "You looked worse!"

 

The worst was that as I was doing all of this, a huge ship was passing by in the canal. I am sure they got a nice show. 

 

My family and coworkers still talk about it to this day. I don't think I will ever live that one down.

[Stratford]

I am a bonafide klutz, I could tell you a thousand stupid stories.  

 

I was in third grade, week 2 at a new school.  I tripped on an untied shoelace, fell face first, and skinned my entire face except for my right cheek.  Ended up with a concussion and a week off of school and the ugliest scabby face (which fortunately healed without much scarring.)  People were still mentioning this event to me when I graduated from high school.  

 

Speaking of high school, I had a pair of high heels that were determined to kill me.  The first time I wore them I ended up flat on my back in a parking lot.  I still have no idea how I fell.  They picked the rocks out of my elbow, put me in a sling for a week or two, and I was good to go.  Wore the same shoes to our senior awards night and tripped going up the steps to the stage.  Twice.  In front of about a thousand people.  Threw the shoes away and stuck to flats.  

 

When I was in college, I had a connecting flight in the St. Louis airport.  My flight was delayed and my connection time was very short, so I was running like mad through the airport to make it to my gate.  They had those moving walkways, so I took it, thinking it would be quicker.  When I realized it was passing my gate, I threw my backpack over and made a mad leap over the side....and landed on the arm of an airport chair.  Half the crowd was making sure I was ok, the other half was laughing.  I limped to my gate (they were paging my name!) and made my flight.  I had a large, rectangular bruise on my backside from the chair that lasted for weeks, but my pride hurt more than anything else.  

 

I prefer my klutzy moments to happen without an audience. 

[AmandaVT]

Oh man. While at a job years ago (1999 maybe?), I was cleaning my desk while sitting on the floor next to my desk chair. I stood up suddenly as the VP of the company came into my office, managed to hit that spot in between your eyebrows and the top of your nose really hard on the arm of my chair. Almost immediately, I had to throw up, which prompted me to run across the office to the bathroom. By the time I came out, I had two black eyes and a lovely concussion. From my desk chair. In front of the VP of the company.  :leaving:

 

I was a mess and they actually just let me drive myself 90 minutes home that day. I ended up taking myself to the ER after I got home - to this day, I don't remember the drive home. 

[FriedClams]

After injuring myself twice, I finally learned not to clean the blades of my immersion blender while it is still plugged in. That darn button is so sensitive and easy to hit. :glare: Having done the exact same thing twice is the truly embarrassing part.

I turned mine ON with my finger in it. Lots of stitches.

[teachermom2834]

And now I have a fear of immersion blenders...rational or not ;)

[cintinative]

Lately my mishaps have involved my feet or my arms.

 

i have a rectangular scar on my knee where I fell and got a serious friction burn on the treadmill because I was silly and forgot I was on the treadmill and stopped to get my water bottle. 

 

I have multiple burns on my arms. At least two are within a centimeter of each other and are from a baking sheet. The other is on my forearm and is from the oven door.  

 

I burned my stomach when some liquid from a crock pot splashed on me--that was about a week ago.

 

Then I stubbed my toe on a huge (read: immovable) concrete pillar while on vacation and broke it (well, I'm pretty sure. I never got an x-ray but I'm still taping it three months later.).  Two days ago a 2 liter fell out of a bag I was carrying right onto the same foot (different toe).

 

I am definitely accident prone, especially post-40. I don't know why, but I am having to learn to embrace the scars. 

Edited September 19, 2017 by cintinative

[foxbridgeacademy]

So I'm uber-careful to the point my danger-prone mother often called me a wimp (she's like superwoman, everyone's a wimp next to her).  Things she's done.....

 

While working on the engine of an old car with an old battery trying to get it started she did something to cause the battery to blow up in her face (blisters around eyes and some temporary blindness).  Yeah, that was a fun day.  She was watching a tornado, through binoculars, as it came into the valley below our house (we lived on a ridge) well apparently lightning can blister your eyeballs even if your'e not looking directly at it.  She cut the pad of her thumb off and I, no license, had to drive her to the hospital so they could reattach it.  It was her own fault because "she hadn't sharpened it enough".  She was out camping by herself on some property we own and had for got her hatchet so she successfully used a small log to break up/split another log, the first time.  When she tried on a second log she lost her grip the "hatchet" log bounced up hit her in the face and knocked her out, she has no clue for how long.  Well after she came to her senses she decided she could do without a fire and went to bed.  Woman is a nut and lucky to be alive because these are only a few of the stupid/crazy things she's done over the years.

 

My youngest takes after my mom but luckily she has me for a mom and the accidents have been few. 

[Guest]

As amusing as this is, I must stop reading cause I have the world's weakest stomach.

 

Off to find the Floating Goldfish thread.

 

Ya'll be more careful, ya hear??