Discussing money expectations before even arranging an interview

[MamaBearTeacher]

Is this acceptable in any situation?  What if it is an hourly rate instead of a salary?  What if it is to provide care for someone's children in their home?  while they are in the adjacent room?

 

She is not a consultant with her own company.  I got her name from an online matching service.

 

Maybe this is just a rant or a JAWM but before we were about to arrange an interview/meeting she said that she usually charges xx but that  she would charge me much more.  I had asked her to send me her resume and she had very little experience.  

 

I know you are never supposed to talk salary when you are applying for a job in the business world but in a way that almost seems more appropriate to me than our circumstances.  

 

If you want to work with my special needs kids in my home, do not start out by telling me how much you want to make off them!  (rant)

 

 

 

 

[gardenmom5]

she said that she usually charges xx but that  she would charge me much more.  I had asked her to send me her resume and she had very little experience.

 

 

:blink: :blink: :blink:    was that supposed to say she would charge you MORE than her "usual rate"????   THAT is some chuztpuh!  even without the resume showing she has little experience.   honestly - I know it's annoying, but unless you are obligated to hire her, I would suggest just move on and find someone that works for you.

 

I am ancillary to a business venture that has a number of people who are working on a contracted hourly rate. (independent/self-employed.  not employed by the venture) there were many discussions to see if they would fit before money came up.

 

eta: is she self-employed, or does she work for someone else?  if someone else - she may be trying to get more on the side without telling her agency/service.  

do you know what the hourly rate for this service is?  for __ years of experience?

Edited September 11, 2017 by gardenmom5

[Jean in Newcastle]

A lot of childcare or other service type jobs do list an hourly rate up front . I know that it isn't working with special needs, but many people will ask my daughter what her hourly rate is before interviewing her for ongoing babysitting jobs. And often childcare for special needs children does cost more. It sounds like she isn't a good fit for you though.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Edited September 11, 2017 by Jean in Newcastle

[EmilyGF]

I always am upfront about what I pay childcare workers when I first call them and I ask them what they charge before I meet them. But then again I'm hiring sitters and not nannies, though I don't think I'd be super flexible in nanny pay, either.

 

Emily

[Arcadia]

Is this acceptable in any situation? What if it is an hourly rate instead of a salary? What if it is to provide care for someone's children in their home? while they are in the adjacent room?

...

Maybe this is just a rant or a JAWM but before we were about to arrange an interview/meeting she said that she usually charges xx but that she would charge me much more. I had asked her to send me her resume and she had very little experience.

 

I have done that for tutoring. I had tutored relatives of friends at a reduced to free rate if I was free, more like helping out than earning money since I had to pay for public transport to and from their home. For people I don't know, I charge them market rate. So if I charge a friend's cousin $20/hr for community college programming class tutoring, I can't charge the person's classmate the same reduced rate or I would be "underpaid". I did have plenty of tutoring experience though.

 

I had always been given a ballpark figure before my first job interview though so I know whether the lowest pay possible would be still worth my going for the interview or the company is making a low ball offer. If it sounds like a low ball offer, I would think harder about whether I want to go for an interview or just tell the headhunter it's too low for comfort. My husband just went for an interview and was given an estimate on the basic pay before the interview.

[Forget-Me-Not]

I seem to recall that your situation is unique because you have multiple SN kids? I wonder if she was trying to be up front, because you're looking for services above and beyond what she usually does for her normal rate, and she was just sort of awkward about it?

 

I'd still interview her. I called someone to interview to clean my home and came away with a bad first impression from our first phone convo. However at the interview she was lovely and she's been cleaning for us for 7 yrs now.

Edited September 11, 2017 by Forget-me-not

[Murphy101]

I've never seen these types of services NOT discuss money up front.

 

Neither party wants to waste time interviewing people that aren't within their price range.

 

Babysitters, in-home nurses, respite care... none of those have ever not priced up front. At the least, their minimum is given with the understanding it might actually cost more.

[Catwoman]

Is this acceptable in any situation? What if it is an hourly rate instead of a salary? What if it is to provide care for someone's children in their home? while they are in the adjacent room?

 

She is not a consultant with her own company. I got her name from an online matching service.

 

Maybe this is just a rant or a JAWM but before we were about to arrange an interview/meeting she said that she usually charges xx but that she would charge me much more. I had asked her to send me her resume and she had very little experience.

 

I know you are never supposed to talk salary when you are applying for a job in the business world but in a way that almost seems more appropriate to me than our circumstances.

 

If you want to work with my special needs kids in my home, do not start out by telling me how much you want to make off them! (rant)

Honestly, I would want to know how much she charged before I bothered to interview her. Why waste both of our time if her hourly rate is more than I'm willing to pay?

 

The thing I thought was weird was that she said she usually charges one rate, but she would charge you "much more than that." That seems very tacky and off-putting to me. I'm assuming she meant that you would have to pay extra because you have more than one child, but her phrasing was very awkward.

[MamaBearTeacher]

She is not a "service". Her name was sent to me as a match because she was looking for work in my neighborhood.. I'm glad I found out upfront how much money she wanted. It was way too much. She would not be working with my 2 kids alone as me and my husband would be there bringing them to the washroom and serving them food etc. I had explained that to her.

[hjffkj]

She is not a "service". Her name was sent to me as a match because she was looking for work in my neighborhood.. I'm glad I found out upfront how much money she wanted. It was way too much. She would not be working with my 2 kids alone as me and my husband would be there bringing them to the washroom and serving them food etc. I had explained that to her.

Childcare is a service industry job and it is entirely normal to be upfront about rates before an interview in that type of job. I am a pet sitter and the first question most potential clients ask is what are my rates. If they don't ask, I tell them before I meet them. It would be a huge waste of my time and theirs if we interviewed and they realized then that they couldn't afford my services. Or it would be awkward because they try to negotiate rates and those are non-negotiable.

[Twolittleboys]

While it seems a bit rude, it does make expectations clear AND saves you wasting time on an interview if the expectations don't fit with what you are planning to pay.

[Miss Tick]

Telling you on the first phone call how much she charges - okay.

 

Telling you the rate she is going to charge you is "much more than her normal rate" - rude and unnecessary.

 

ETA I think you could reasonably extrapolate from that conversation that her discussions with your children would likely be similarly unfiltered.

Edited September 11, 2017 by SusanC

[Guest]

Honestly it sounds like she didn't want to deal with special needs and intentionally priced herself out of your range to discourage you from hiring her, especially since it was a third party service match.

 

Sounds like she did you a favor since you wouldn't want to work with someone who didn't want to be there anyway :grouphug:

[QueenCat]

I would wonder if she's a recent immigrant. Often, when first getting a good grasp of spoken English, sentence structure isn't quite right, as they're still learning.

[G5052]

The last time I did childcare was some 40 years ago, but as an independent contractor, I frequently set a negotiable minimum before we set up a formal discussions. In my field some employers want to go "on the cheap" to the level that isn't worth my time. So I'd rather move on if they aren't willing to pay me what I feel is reasonable.

 

Some years back a company was wanting to hire me to redo their website which was going to be a big job requiring redesign, coding, and testing. Mind you, I have a relevant graduate degree, professional certifications, and was teaching that field at the college level. They wanted to pay me $9/hour. I stopped it there. I could work at Staples for that in their copy center for less aggravation.

 

My guess is that she has had people trying to hire her for less than she felt was appropriate.

Edited September 11, 2017 by G5052

[Alice]

I think it's appropriate to discuss rates before an interview. I can imagine it being a waste of time on either side to go through with an interview if there is a difference in expectation on rates. 

 

The statement that she would charge much more to you than others is possibly inappropriate but I would likely still go through with the interview. Sometimes people say things on the phone or email that come out sounding awkward but when you meet them you get a different vibe. Perhaps she was trying to be really honest and open so that if you heard she was charging other people less you wouldn't feel cheated. I also think it could be appropriate to charge different amounts if the work is different. 

[Lanny]

I believe she was wrong to tell you that she would charge you much more than she usually charges. She should have just told you what she would charge you per hour.  I believe it is better to know that both parties are in the same ballpark, with regard to $, before wasting anybodies time with an in person interview.   I hope that you find someone you like to help with your DC.

[Janie Grace]

My hunch is that she has not worked with SN kids before, was very nervous about it, and communicated awkwardly as a result. 

[happi duck]

I think discussing salary and discussing rates are two different things.

[Tap]

It is different when you are paying someone for a service. Like others have said, it is similar to a housekeeper, groundskeeper, gardener, maintenance person, pet sitter etc.   You are asking them to provide a service to you, and you are not providing benefits (medical, dental, etc) to them.  There really isn't much to negotiate, so the person tells you their rates upfront. Honestly, it is not only common, it is expected.

 

Why waste everyone's time if you aren't willing to pay the rates stated?

 

 

The only time I could see it being set up as an interview first, is if you are hiring a professional nanny, or housekeeper who will also do childcare.  IBut that would also mean you are expected to provide benefits or a professional wage high enough to compensate of lack of benefits. 

 

The comment about charging more for special needs kids is common too.  I pay double for a sitter for dd10, than I would for NT kids.  Watching DD10 can be a cake walk and take almost zero effort, or the person could get hit, punched, bit, headbutted, scratched etc.  I have to have someone with a personality that won't want to fight back if dd gets aggressive, but can also handle her. It takes a special person to do this. 

Edited September 11, 2017 by Tap

[gardenmom5]

it is appropriate to charge more for sn kids - however, if you have someone used to NT kids - I wouldn't want her for sn kids.  

it would be apppriate to give a base rate for one child, and the  additional cost per additional child.  that does NOT sound like what she did.   and if she's used to nt kids (for which she would charge less) - she's not appropriate.  if she's used to only dealing with one sn kid - and you have more, while an increase in fee would be appropriate - her experience is NOT.

[hjffkj]

I also have to specify with my clients when I need to charge them more and for what reason. For example, recently someone needed me to come every 8 hours to give their cat medicine. It was a very strict regimen and because of that I charged her more than I normally do. I let her know that over the phone after she told me what the work would entail. I specifically told her it would be an additional fee because so much of my work is through referral that I can't have anyone thinking that is my normal rate. Or I can't have her think I'm overcharging her compared to the house next door that only needs to feed the cat once a day.

 

However, it is all in the delivery and maybe that woman didn't communicate well.

[MamaBearTeacher]

According to her resume she had never worked with NT kids. She has only worked with adults who have addictions and special needs kids in a summer camp and cooking for a group home of adults. She has never worked in someone's home.

 

She seemed very enthusiastic to meet and work.

 

There were a couple of weird things in our correspondence that I brushed off in my head but now I do not plan to contact her.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

If she's never worked in someone's home, maybe that was all she meant by saying she'd charge you more. Since she's only worked with special needs, it doesn't sound like there's anything about your particular children that would warrant a surcharge. Having to work in a home instead of in a facility, and having to work alongside parents instead of doing things her own way, might seem like extra challenges and hassle to her.

[Guest]

Odd to say she would charge more; a time-saver for both to know upfront what the cost/pay will be.  

 

I have a friend who just applied for a job that didn't have the salary listed.  She got called to interview and went in and asked, as her last question, what the pay would be.  It was much lower than her current job, although the responsibilities were at the same level and in the same general field.  She said, "Well, I can't do that.  But thank you for the interview.  I hope you find a great person because this sounds like a great job."  They called her back in 2 days and came up 25% to do a little better than her current job, and now she's working there!

 

I was always too chicken to ask this stuff, but it is a real time- and angst-saver.  But the "I'm gonna charge you more..."  That was dumb.

 

[Farrar]

If she just said she'd charge more with no other context that's rude, or, at best, represents some awkward wording.

 

But everything else seems totally normal. She *is* providing a service. It doesn't matter if she came to you via a matching website - just because she's looking for work doesn't mean she's somehow not providing a service or doesn't have the right to spell out her terms. And while some businesses (typically premium, more expensive ones) don't immediately put price tags on things or explain rates, most do. I don't understand how it could be inappropriate.

[MamaBearTeacher]

If she's never worked in someone's home, maybe that was all she meant by saying she'd charge you more. Since she's only worked with special needs, it doesn't sound like there's anything about your particular children that would warrant a surcharge. Having to work in a home instead of in a facility, and having to work alongside parents instead of doing things her own way, might seem like extra challenges and hassle to her.

But that's how I found her name. She wants to works one-on-one with special needs kids and adults in their homes. She said she was happy we live near her.

[gardenmom5]

According to her resume she had never worked with NT kids. She has only worked with adults who have addictions and special needs kids in a summer camp and cooking for a group home of adults. She has never worked in someone's home.

 

She seemed very enthusiastic to meet and work.

 

There were a couple of weird things in our correspondence that I brushed off in my head but now I do not plan to contact her.

 

addictions are not the same as special needs - and a summer camp has multiple adults.

she doesn't sound an appropriate fit, and lacking in pertinent experience.

[Reefgazer]

See, in a sitter type of situation, I appreciate this upfront-ness.  If it's too much for me to afford I would much rather  know in advance before I sink a crap-ton of time into the situation.  I'm guessing she charges more for the extra work special needs situation, yes?  Again, I'd be grateful that it was right out there.

Is this acceptable in any situation?  What if it is an hourly rate instead of a salary?  What if it is to provide care for someone's children in their home?  while they are in the adjacent room?

 

She is not a consultant with her own company.  I got her name from an online matching service.

 

Maybe this is just a rant or a JAWM but before we were about to arrange an interview/meeting she said that she usually charges xx but that  she would charge me much more.  I had asked her to send me her resume and she had very little experience.  

 

I know you are never supposed to talk salary when you are applying for a job in the business world but in a way that almost seems more appropriate to me than our circumstances.  

 

If you want to work with my special needs kids in my home, do not start out by telling me how much you want to make off them!  (rant)

 

[Ali in OR]

In our state, you would qualify for respite care through your county health department or under a state program for kids with severe behavioral issues. My dd was in the state program for kids who were "medically involved" (seizures, wheelchair user, etc) and now as an adult gets respite hours through the county again. I can get help in finding care providers, but basically I'm the official employer but the paycheck comes from the state. Workers know up front what their pay will be. Interestingly, the state program pays a little more--my care provider started with us through that program and her rate was grandfathered into the county program--about $16.50 per hour. Two dollars less for someone who comes to work for me through the county program. And a private program that would take away the headache from the end-user of finding providers would only pay them $10 an hour which is only $1 above minimum wage. Just to give you some comparison on numbers.

 

My dd's caregiver was first her aide at the high school, and many of the aides there are also care providers on the side. The special needs kids at the high school have a very wide range of needs. My dd needs every physical need taken care of--feeding, diaper changes, lifting, etc, and the care giver has to be okay with handling seizures. Some of her classmates don't need that kind of physical care, but they have behavioral issues that can be challenging. I can totally see how aides may be more comfortable with one type of special need than the other. I take her comment on needing more money to mean that this job would be hard for her. Doesn't make her a bad person, but she may not be the best fit for you. Some of the aides at the HS work with behavioral issues so beautifully--they have a lot of experience. That might be a place to try to find an aide who fits better for you.

[bettyandbob]

It is typical to discuss rate up front.

 

I'm not sure how much information she had about your dc before saying she'd charge more than her usual rate.

 

My sn DS does not actually need a lot more care than a typical child who needs a babysitter. My ds takes care of his own toileting. If you make him lunch he feeds himself. He is easily entertained watching movies or playing simple games. But he's 16and cannot stay home alone, so I need a caregiver. Since I'm not going to hire a 14 yo I have to pay adult rates, but not over the average for my area because the caregiver isn't needing to do anything extra than she would for another child. No special behaviors to watch out for.

 

That said there are kids who have special needs who require caregivers to go beyond typical childcare. Even if parents are home and available for toileting, etc. varying payrate based on circumstances is not out of line. To analyze your situation, consider the baseline of the is expected for a typical child.

 

Another thing is I pay my caregiver two different rates. She recently started tutoring him in reading and math. She might come just to tutor or she might come to tutor followed by just watching ds. So she might get paid a mix of rates.